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 Post subject: Searching for answers
PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 4:29 pm 
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Hi, I've been a long time reader of this forum and have found Dr Junig and all of the members here to be amongst the most "loyal", if you will, people on the web in dealing with all aspects of suboxone and buprenorphine usage and in helping your fellow members the best that you can. I decided to join to share my story and hopefully look for some advice and answers that I don't have. First, I would like to say that I have been on and off of suboxone since 2004, with several relapses, some very lengthy ones, in between, but I have not used my doc, heroin, for 4 years and 2 months. In that time I have maintained on suboxone, and have since switched to bupe for cost reasons, at 4mg/day and have slowly, and painfully at times, reduced my dosage to 1mg/day of which I am at right now. I take 0.5mg twice/day and have found that going below that amount causes me the typical w/d symptoms that come with this medication, not the full blown H w/d's but the milder and more psychological ones. So recently I have been severely motivated to cease taking the bupe because like many others here, I would like to live out my years without depending on any type of medication unless medically necessary. So I guess where I am at is a failed attempt at trying to stop. I have made arrangements so that I would have the time to get through the worst of the withdrawals, but alas I feel that I have failed only after 2 days of trying. I thought that jumping off at 1mg wouldn't be all that bad, and it really wasn't at first but the acute symptoms hit me within hours and on day one i took 0.5mgs and today have resorted to the same. I don't know if it's just me but I just cannot stand being in physical w/d anymore. Is it possible that i may have to go lower before i jump? I can deal with the sweating but the chills and rls seem to come on very fast for me. I might also add that I am about 20 lbs below normal weight for a male my age and my eating habits aren't the best. I have tried using benzo's but they don't seem to help much. Maybe what I am trying to find by posting this is at the least an opportunity to know that I can talk to people who are in the same situation or can maybe help guide me in the right direction. I just can't seem to do this alone. I am 34 years old and is it possible that I might need this medication forever? It would be much easier if I had health insurance but the company I work for took ours away and I can't afford any marketplace plans or if they would even cover it. I have been paying out of pocket and the CC bill is adding up. So that, plus some other factors are telling me I need to quit, especially the prospect of having a family soon, and most of all for peace of mind. But I just can't do it. I have read so many success stories on here and there are so many brave souls that have shared their success stories in tapering that it almost makes me feel weak and that I am a failure. In that sense I guess I would just like to be a part of this place so that I might find my own success, whether it be a taper or if I decide to stay on it long term. Apologies for the long post but it feels good to at least get it out there. And yes, if it weren't for suboxone and my readiness to quit using heroin, I don't know where I'd be right now, so in that regard I am highly thankful for this medicine.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:57 pm 
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I don't know if you will ever stop, but it may not be the time right now. The good news is that buprenorphine is one of the safest meds out there to take long terim. People seem to get ready to stop at some point-- and if you are not there, don't torture yourself. Just keep doing the right thing... and maybe you will be ready in a couple years.

One thing... you said that you may have family responsibilites soon.... realize that by far, the biggest determinent of whether you will live in poverty is whether you have kids or not, before you are prepared for life. Kids are a joy... but they deserve to grow up in a home that isn't constantly fighting over the stress of blls. I'm no saying you need to be wealthy to have kids- only that life is alreay difficult, and raising kids is difficult, and getting clean is difficult.... and so consider getting things straightened out first--- or at get some of the credit cards payed off!

Good luck,

J


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2014 9:06 am 
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I think what you have said makes a lot of sense and I thank you for that Dr J.

I feel like I am ready to stop and am willing to at least take today and the next few days off if I can help it and see where that brings me. I guess maybe I just haven't seen the progress in my life clean and on suboxone to make justifiable claims that I need to be on it. I really just want to be free of the subs but at the same time I know they help me in living a somewhat normal life. Maybe I have a little ADHD when it comes to this, so I will take your advice to heart and see where it takes me. I know I'm in a bit of a mental situation here so for today I'm going to push through as long as I can and at the very least maybe I can get a good dosage reduction out of this time I have.

And thank you for this site, I will continue to participate in any way that I can as to help anyone else who has been where I have, and I know it's a bad place but again, if it weren't for the subs then I wouldn't be here most likely.


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PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 11:10 pm 
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I am new here and don't really know anyone yet but, I can say I have been trying to jump off too and couldn't do it at 1mg. I let myself be ok with that by setting a taper plan even though I really just wanted to be done. That's a good feeling though, I think? Wanting to be on nothing and trying like hell to get there. I took my twice a day dose and just kept cutting off a little bit at a time. I cut mine down every week or so. I never noticed any symptoms until I took away my second dose a day and just recently pushed through that. Wasn't half as bad as my brain antispated it to be?! I've never known anyone else that's went through this and nobody around me (except my dr) even knows so, to be able to even just read about others stories today has lifted me soooo much. I'd love to hear how you're doing? In my brain any amt of sub is still better than where we were before right?


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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