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PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 7:18 pm 
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Today I got up with a more positive attitude and decided I would go and do something good for my recovery. I went to the E.R. and explained what had happened and what I had done. They told me that they are not even aloud to write a script for that as you need a special license for such meds. I live in a small town and I am sure we are behind times as compared to the big cities. So I did the next best thing and asked for colanieden and Ativan. He gave me a colanieden patch and one tab of the Ativan. I thankful for it though. I also called my doctor’s office back while I was in the waiting room of the e.r. and the girl did not recognize my voice so I ask can I come in and see the doc on Monday, she says he will be out until Tuesday. I say ok what time can I come in, she comes back on the phone and says 3 p.m. I said I will take it. Then she asks who this is. I give her my name and she was like oh, ok well we will see you then. I don’t think she was expecting to get caught off guard by me. I really feel they were trying to put me off. So now I have my appointment. I think that things should work out ok. I feel like my doctor was just trying to make me suffer or he just did not want to deal with me. Either way he can’t avoid me any longer. I hope that I should get back on track and I can have a good Christmas. I will update all next week after all is said and done. Thank you for all your support.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 12:33 pm 
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GOOD FOR YOU!!! And good job standing up and doing everything you could do for yourself.

Just be honest when you go to your appointment. I would also explain to him how you felt becuase you didn't even get a phone call back from him in all that time. Just a thought!!
And I do hope everything goes how you want it to. I have found just being honest with my doc has worked well for me in the past, but who knows, you hear so many different stories!!

Anyway, really do wish you the best of luck, be strong. I know from experience its not the easiest thing to do


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 3:20 pm 
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Thank You amber4.14.11

I am doing well. I have not gotten very ill thankfully. I am drained and have had some stomach cramps head aces and body stiffness but other than that I have been hanging in pretty good. I plan to let my Dr. know that right from the start I had been trying to get in to see him as I wanted to be up front and honest and I also did not want to relapse. Long story short his staff kept telling me they would have him call me and or that someone would call me and none of them did call. I will stand up for myself but I do know that I have to tread on thin ice because he is the only one I can get my subs from. For the time being anyhow, there is supposed to be another doc coming to my area within the next two months and I am going to be diligently watching the web for his/her listing and will be on my phone to get an appointment asap. So Tuesday is the day, hopefully I can get back on track. Thanks to all who have been so caring and understanding It means a lot to me. I have been so down on myself.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2011 12:43 am 
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Thank you everyone who had given me your much needed and appreciated advice. I made it to my doctor appointment, barley. I did try to get Sub’s off the street two days ago, was unable to find any. That is when the W/D really started. I had not slept, eaten, or been out of the house in two days. My doctor did not tell me why he did not call me back and I did not ask, not wanting to push my luck. He pretty much wanted to know what happened and why. I explained it all to him and told him that I had my B.F. giving them out to me. Luckily my B.F. drove me because the Dr. wanted to talk to him. He did not U.A. me which I find funny since he wanted to talk to my B.F. Like he did not believe me as to why I was out of my meds. I don’t have insurance and so he knows I am not selling them. That would be pointless; I would be out of money doing that. So long story short he gave me a lecture and we agreed that my B.F. would keep them in our safe. If this happens again I very well could lose him as a doctor. He did not change my does, 8 mg a day. He threatened to lower my does. Needless to say I freaked out and said no I did not think that would be good. I want to stay at 8m.g. a day, I will be a good little girl and the world will be ok. LOL, thank you very much. It is now 8:41 p.m. My time, I dosed around five and it kicked in about forty min after I took it. So lesson learned I will not be doing that again anytime soon. My B.F. has them and they are in our safe. I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE FOR ALL THEIR SUPPORT. Whoever your H.P. is I will pray that all of you have a safe and Merry Christmas.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 12:50 am 
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Job well done!!!!!!\
You made it to, and thru the appointment apparently......... so you should be proud of yourself.
and like I said before, it took me being out for about 5 and half days once, and I havent ran myself short agian. I keep mine at my grandma's house, becuase shes in her 70s and I stop there every day on my way home from work, to take out the garbage, bring in groceries, whatever she needs done. I did HORIBLE things to her when I was using, and now Im doing the "making up" part.
ANYWAYS< since im there almost every day, I grab ten or so at a time, and I dont run short. she doesnt keep a count, but she does see me get them, and always keeps me in 'check' about it, which is a good thing. for both of us I think.
Just wanted to tell you I was proud for hearing that you were honest, and stood up for yourself too, becuase thats just as important. so often we let ourselves get runover by persons of 'authority' especially after being hard on ourselves......
Hope you have a very Merry Christmas also


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 11:26 am 
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Hey amber4.14.11,

I did make it. Thank you again everyone. I am still just under the weather a tiny bit but I am on my way back to the top… Woo Hoo.

So lesson learned!!!!
I think that it was the worst time and the best time to learn my lesson. Thinking of Christmas and how very soon it was upon me and how once again I had messed things up.

I get to be here for my kids, my B.F. whom is my x-husband and my fiancé. Lol yeah that is a long story and also my fault. I may not always like the fact that I am the holiday goo roo, but I GET to be the one who cooks the whole entire meal and gets everyone to help clean up. My sweetie will help of course but it is me that puts it all together pretty much. I’m sure a lot of you can relate.

Our Labrador, Kadie has been missing me something terrible. She has been following me around the house none stop since I perked up. She knew I was not well and now she is just so happy because I will be taking her out to the park once again to play catch.

Just goes to show how much MY people and pets really do need me. When I get sick the whole house suffers I guess it is nice to be needed.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 11:35 am 
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Oh and I want to thank you amber4.14.11 for your last response.

Thank you for sharing your personal story about your grandma etc. It is nice to talk to, and listen to others stories and how they get through this. Whatever it takes as long as we are staying clean, off the streets and not at the ultimate end of this thing, JAILS, INSTATUTIONS, OR DEATH.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 12:49 pm 
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Smith,
You are one lucky girl :wink: I would be kissing that Dr Ass!!!!! Now I know you will enjoy your CHRISTmas!!!! So happy for you. My Dr seems like he would have KICKED my Ass ... He already talks about tapering me in 2 months or so, he said not to get off but to taper. We will see how that goes.
Mel Merrry Christmas

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 1:51 pm 
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Good job! You stayed strong and made it! I am a glass half full type of person. No matter how bad things are they can always get worse. Suffering sucks, but you made it thru and your recovery is stronger because of this. I am glad you are choosing to take this negative experience and turn it into a positive and I hope you stick around the forum. Merry Christmas and I am happy you will be able to enjoy your holidays!


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2011 10:58 pm 
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T.Y. Breezy_Ann and meltalk

I will definitely be kissing butt. I am going to send my doc and his staff a nice Christmas gift. I am so thankful that I will be having a good Christmas with my family. Today I was able to get my cleaning and cooking done. This weekend we have plans to get our shopping done.

I will be staying here and chatting with others. I surly can relate at this moment to anyone who is going through what I just did. It is always easy to recall when it is so fresh in your mind. I will be around and I hope that I will be able to be helpful to others.

I will try and get online on the weekend and look in on others and say hi. I make no promises but will try. Have a good weekend all.


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