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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 3:47 am 
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I have used suboxone a few (3) times before.
I got it from my friend.
I was using Heroin and just needed something to help me not quit "cold turkey".
It was a truly "miracle cure"
I have been in methadone programs and that was just hell.
Really didn't think that suboxone would work as good as it did.
It did not make me feel "high" AT ALL...
But it just leveled me off and took away all the sickness.
I couldn't believe it.

Well, I messed up again, and for the past 2 months I relapsed and got back on heroin.
Now I am thinking about going to a doctor and getting a prescription for suboxone.
But all I keep seeing here on this forum, and other sites I have visited is everyone is on suboxone for a really long time.
Am I being irrational thinking that all I need is a few pills that I can split up and take on the daily just to go thru the withdrawals.
Cause literally I just got a few pills and took maybe a half or a third a day and it helped me not feel sick.
I can't remember how potent the pills were cause that was a really long time ago.
When I was on methadone I could never ween myself off of it, and just ended up using again.

So what would be the best and CHEAPEST route for me to take?
Make a doctors appt, and can I tell him that I don't plan on being on suboxone for a long period of time.
Is it ok to just tell him that I need about a weeks worth just so I can kick?
Cause the only reason I'm still using is because I can't afford to quit cold turkey, cause I have to go to work.
So now all I'm doing is maintaining with heroin just so I don't lose my job.
I'm done with heroin mentally, I just need suboxone to help me get thru that dreaded week without getting sick.
I also don't have any insurance, so is there a way to get the doctor to only write me a prescription for maybe 10 pills?
Cause I keep seeing there crazy dollar amounts people pay just for their scripts, not to mention the initial dr's visit.

I live in San Antonio, TX
So if anyone has any info about a good doctor, or maybe a general idea about how much the cost would be in my area, I would greatly appreciate it. (I did go to suboxone dot com and got a list of doctors in my zip code, I was just wondering if someone out there happened to have any personal experiences with any of them in San Antonio. Cause there's a lot of them)
Also if you think you have an answer to any of my questions from above, please feel free to educate me.

Thank you in advance

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 3:51 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2012 3:21 am
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Also, what are the milligrams that suboxone usually comes in???
What is the usual way that dr's prescribe it???
Or is there a "usual" dosage, or does it vary from person to person, depending on what and how much they are using of whatever that person is trying to quit...

Thank you again

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 6:44 am 
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[font=Comic Sans MS]Hello there and welcome to the forum!!!

I cannot speak for anyone but myself. The reason that I am on sub long term is because I need time. I need time to get my
life together. I need time to learn how to live without pills. I have some things to work on with my addiction counselor, and
with my therapist, before I can just go back to a life without any kind of coping skills. If I do that, I will surely relapse. I spent
a lot of time working on myself in the past, and I know the coping skills. But for some reason, that I may never know, I am
a chronic relapser. And that terrifies me. One of those relapses WILL eventually kill me. I don't know which one, but it very well
could be the next one. I'm not willing to risk my life, over a bottle of pills. So until I am positive that I can cope with life on life's
terms, I will use suboxone.

Now, to answer some of your questions, suboxone is available in two different doses. 8mg buprenorphine/2mg naloxone
and 2mg buprenorphine/0.5 naloxone. I am not sure which is best for you. I think that it is best to start off low and then if
say, 2mg doesn't work, try 2 more mg in a few hours. The goal is to take the lowest amount possible, while keeping you out
of withdrawal.

You asked what the BEST and CHEAPEST route to go is. I don't think that they are the same. The cheapest route, may not be
the best route, and vice versa. I understand not being able to afford getting sick, at the risk of losing your job. I also understand
not wanting to be on suboxone long term. Although I am not sure that I would walk into a doctor's office and say that you just
want a weeks worth so that you can kick. Perhaps you could talk to him about a short term taper. He may want to do 30
days. He may want you to come in once a week. If you don't want to stay on it that long, don't. You will have a weeks worth
and that can be that. However, if you decide that you DO want to stay on it longer, than you always have that option. Hope
that made sense!

Anyway, if you are positive that this is the route you want to take, that's what I would do. But I just cant do that. I need time
to fix me, otherwise I am doomed to relapse. I have a toddler who has noone but me. I am it. So I can't afford to screw this

Good luck to you, and let us know if you have some more questions. I hope what little info I gave you, helped. Oh and by the
way, no, you are not being irrational in thinking that you can just use the sub to kick! Lots of folk do that. But I would
reccomend getting into your recovery. Like going to meetings, or a therapist, or whatever it takes to not relapse again.
I wish you the best, and hope it all works out for you!!! Take care~[/font]

"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:35 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2012 3:21 am
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Hey "Goingstrong",
I appreciate it for the info.
Just to put it out there, I didn't mean in no way to offend or put down anyone that is on suboxone for a long time.
Just like you said, everyone has their reasons and everyone's different.
I respect your reasoning behind why you are on it for the longer haul. And I have never been a "pill guy" so I can only imagine how that works mentally when you are addicted to just the ritual of taking pills. I'm speaking from my experience with heroin and I think that it's the same kind of a thing when you are addicted to not just the high, but the act of taking the drug. So I think I understand you. Also, nothing but respect to you for wanting to be there in your kids life. And the best way to do that is to stay alive.

Well I called 10 doctors today to get more info about getting a prescription.
And they all had a different amount they were asking for. It kind of strikes me as odd because I would imagine that they would have a fairly set rate for that service. Maybe few bucks up or down, but they quoted me totally different prices for each doctor I called.
Also, since I am time restrained and I need to get that prescription quick, It was really a matter of who will be able to squeeze me in before thanksgiving.

Well I found a couple of them:
One said that he can see me tomorrow, but it's an hour away from where I live. Not that big of a deal, but considering that I live in 6th largest city in the US, it does seem kind of silly. But beggars can't be choosers.
They want $270 and that includes the initial visit, my drug screening which is $30, and my "induction" fee. Which I still don't understand what that is, and honestly I think they just make up different fees just to hike up the price.
Especially since at first he quoted me a
$140 initial visit + $30 for drug screen
$200 for "Induction" + another $30 for another drug screen
And then $119 each visit after that
Oh yeah, plus the cost of the pills
And I also found out that, at least here in San Antonio, they don't do pills anymore and it's just the "Film"
So after we talked for a bit and he found out that I was serious and that I was ready to see him tomorrow, he said that he will do it for that $270 cash. And he did keep stressing "Cash"...No checks, no credit cards.
And all that just seems kinda shady to me. But hey, he's the one with a doctors diploma on the wall (i hope)

And then the other doctor was $250 + $150
And then others were anywhere from $200 to $300 for the initial visits and then some even said that scripts will run me anywhere from $200-$300 and then another doctor said that it will cost from $3-$5 per pill

So all in all it's not really good news looking at it from a financial point of view, but I am Blessed that I found someone that will be able to fit me in at such a short notice

Ok, about methadone clinics that have suboxone option.
So whats the difference between a regular suboxone doctor and a methadone facility that has a buprenorphine treatment option. Do you know what are the requirements to get on suboxone at a methadone clinic? Is there a initial dr's visit copay like with a "regular" doctor? For some reason I would think that it would be cheaper at a clinic. And the only reason I think that is because of a stigma that is attached with a methadone clinic. And I would think that some people would rather pay more money and go to a "real" doctor than to go to a "common folk" methadone clinic where others might see them and judge them. And again, that is me just making an assumption about that.

Also you mentioned: "I would recommend getting into your recovery"
And I think that really hits home with me. Cause I've never really followed thru with my recovery. All I've done, since I started this game of relapsing, kicking, relapsing, kicking, is just get off of it and not really getting to the root of my problem. (Mind you I've been doing heroin since 1999). I never thought about the long run. It's always been that I'm about to lose my job, or my apartment, or my girlfriend, or whatever. And I would just get off dope to get back on my feet (momentarily) and then as soon as I am well again, I would think that it's done and I have it beat. But in reality it's always there, lurking, just waiting for the opportunity to arise when it would creep back into my life and take over.
I've never been the one to take things in moderation. It's always been "balls to the wall" type of thing with me in everything I do. And while that may be good in some aspects of life, it is definitely not good when drugs are in question.
So as far as me being able to have a handle on it, that is never going to happen. I have to come to terms and realize that it's always going to be there with me for the rest of my life.
That brings me back to the original thing you said about recommending getting INTO my recovery. I need to follow thru with my recovery even after I kick and feel better.

I think that is what I need in my life cause I keep relapsing over and over again. I have never been to meetings or visited with councilors (Actually I have been to 1 meeting about 10 years ago with my girlfriend at the time. And it was her that was going and I just came once to visit. Afterwords we got high with her sponsor. So that kind of left a bitter taste with me. I know it's not like that with everyone and I'm 100% positive that there is "real" sponsors out there. But still...When I think of AA or NA meetings, first thing that I think of is "hypocrisy")
Anyways, I can get over that once I fully decide to go to meetings and find one that fits me. I do believe that, just like in life, you get out of it what you put in, and if you're going to want to get high, and seek out those people that will enable you to get high, you will. Same thing with getting positive results. If I actually put my mind to STAYING clean and seeking out positive people that will help me stay clean, I'm certain I will.

It used to be that when something bad happened to me, or when I would get depressed, I would give in to the urge of getting high. But this last time it was different. This time I was doing the best I've ever done in my life. I scored a great job, started making good money (by my standards), started getting my studio built back up (I'm a musician and of course I pawned and sold all my previous equipment numerous times), I was involved with a great girl, all my friends love me and I have great relationships with all of them, my parents and I are getting along perfect...So everything was awesome. There was no need to go ahead and ruin it with getting high. But for some reason, I just couldn't stand the fact that I was doing good and that my life was getting to the point of perfect. So I just had to go and fuck it all up. It scares me that I am able to fuck up what has taken me such a long time to build up, in such a short amount of time. Ridiculously quick !!!
I gotten so good at kicking cold turkey that it was a joke to keep getting high and then kicking. But now the older I get, the more I feel myself taking longer to recuperate. And that is in everything, not just the dope thing.

Well I apologize for ranting and raving for such a long time, but honestly, it's been really therapeutic just writing how I feel cause I don't talk to anyone about these issues.
And that is why I think that maybe trying out some meetings will help me out. And I would love to go see a counselor or a therapist, but it's just so damn expensive to get someone good. (maybe I just need to do more research about finding some less priced)
Oh yeah, now after I finished writing all this, I'm actually having second thoughts about getting on the suboxone. Cause I'm going to have 4 days off for the thanksgiving holidays. And now I'm thinking that I should save that money and just kick cold turkey. But still I'm worried that I might relapse back again and end up on square one. Or that I won't have enough time to fully kick and I will end up at work on Monday as sick as a dog. I just hate it. I try and not "hate" things, cause I don't think it does the soul or mind any good, but I can truly say that I hate the day that I tried heroin, and I hate whatever made me try it. That is what I consider the real devil.

All in all, I appreciate you letting me vent

And whoever reads this feel free to rant, rave & vent back.

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