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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:31 pm 
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Liz,
I am so sorry I didn't ask you how your day was, I hope you had a wonderful day.
:)

There is that selfish addict in me...
I told him I hated myself for what I have done to my life and I want this more than anything , and that I was going to let him go and I know six moths from now I will be watching from a distant while he lot everything he has including me. oh, liz I was flooded with so much emotion and I may have even said some really ugly things but I had to get it out, he is scared, really scared because he knows when I say I am leaving and I break down half mad half hurt I mean what I say...

Liz I can't wait til tomorrow... I gotta go to work in the morning, but as soon as the morning meeting Is over I am leaving because I am gonna feel like God came down and smacked the shit out of me...

I am praying hard right now. ..


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:48 pm 
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The emotional roller coaster your experiencing right now is normal during withdrawal, and I'd say especially for you right now because of the impending possible loss of your relationship, your worry for his wellbeing, and your fear of the unknown. I know it hurts, but you just can't help someone who doesn't want, or isn't ready for help yet. You have to worry about you now. Believe me, this temporary discomfort is just that; temporary, and will be totally worth it! Your smooth successful induction onto suboxone depends on you holding out until you get that prescription. You can do this! If your stomach can handle it, try to get a light meal in you to keep up your strength, stay well hydrated, take a nice hot relaxing bath, light candles, play some music, anything to help relax you. Hot baths are magical during withdrawal. Try not to focus on how you're feeling too much, easier said than done, I know, but put on a light hearted movie like a comedy, or do something else to take your mind off of how you're feeling. Just keep on reminding yourself that tomorrow is your new beginning! Take otc pain relievers if you're feeling achy, and if you have herbal tea like chamomile that can also help calm you a bit. And WHATEVER YOU do... DONT TAKE ANY OPIATE PILLS! you've come too far to turn back now. try to get some sleep tonight. You've got around 15 hours left and you'll be feeling better.. we're rooting for you tam! You've got this girl!

PS, I was a wreck, a total bundle of nerves the night before my induction appointment too.....I made it, and you will too! I was afraid of what life would be like without my pills and dope, turns out it's WAAAAAAAY better without them. You'll see. :) hang in there!


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 8:39 pm 
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Lizzi

Thank you so much for the kind thoughts... I am already in withdraws, the runt nose , yawing, very achy ,sneezing and some RLS. I just took a handful of oct and a handful of ammonium, stomache issues will come early in the morning.
Good to take yor advise and get in the tub.

I am counting down liz and glad your counting with me...

I at least do get valium and ambien by rx and will use that as a crutch for at a few hours tonight.

Thank you liz...

I am not backing out now liz, I promise... I made a promise to my 20 year old daughter today too that I am doing this, am not going to let her down this time... She been though enough of my relapsing and I know she knew every time I was high, I ow e this to the both of us...

Liz if I do not get back to you this evening, I went to bed, withdraws are a bitch, even though I have gabbapitin and tramadol, I am not going to touch it either!

If I have the strength I will post before my appt..

to the tub I go...

thank you hun...


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 9:14 pm 
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Thank yourself also tam, because you're doing yourself a huge favor by getting off the crazy train! I am indeed counting down with you! Soak in that hot tub and think positive thoughts about what your new life is going to be like. .. and then try to catch some sleep! Don't worry about getting back to me. I know how shitty wd is. . We all do! I'm looking forward to reading your post after you go to your appointment tomorrow! I'm happy for you. I hope your night isn't too tough, but you sound like you're prepared for it with comfort meds.
Talk to you soon! Last night you ever have to feel like this......YAY!


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 9:35 pm 
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Hey guys.. Long evening here. Just read the thread..
OK TAM, YOU GOT THIS!!
ALMOST THERE!!!
LOTS GOING ON I KNOW.
Hang in there. Can't add much to Lizz s posts.. Only that I'll be think an praying for you. IT LL ALL BE WORTH IT TOMARROW..

The other stuff with him will work it's self out.. One day at a time.


No need to answer this to nite..

Will be checking in the early morning....

Razor... .


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 7:23 am 
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Ok Tam, today is the big day! How are you holding up? I hope you were able to get some rest last night. Looking forward to hearing from you as soon as you're feeling up to giving an update. Just a couple more hours!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:11 am 
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I had a so so night... can't stay still, hot, cold, every bone in me body hurts, you guys know how I feel, but I made it through the night. "Phew!"

I did stay home though, glad I did.

My friend will be here around 9:15 - 9:30, I cant want liz! finally I am gonna get this monkey off my back!

Thank you for checking on me this morning, hopefully my next post will be a woman that is feeling like moving toward a new future without addict to pain killers!

Than again liz!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 9:21 am 
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Tam...big thumbs up!!!!!!

You got it..

Razor..


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 1:21 pm 
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Liz and Razor!
I did it! I did I! been home 5 minutes and couldn't wait to tell you guys!

I am on 8/2 x twice a day. did the first strip on my way home and by the time got home the withdraws are soooooo much better!
Stull a little achy and goose bumpy, but I can handle that :)

OMG I OWE THIS ALL TO YOU guys too, or may have backed out as bad as I was this morning...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! If I could I would just hug your guys sooooo tight!

Got to let work know that I am just going to stay home the rest of the day, just to relax.

But I/we did it!
Maintenance next!

Lots of love
tam


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 2:18 pm 
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I just got home from work and decided to check out the forum before I jump in the shower, sooooo glad to hear that you made it, and you're feeling better, and are going to take the rest of the afternoon off. I'm sure you need the rest after a tough night and morning! You did it! We knew you could! Believe me when I tell you that in a day or two, you're gonna feel brand new! Keep that excitement and enthusiasm, and use it to your advantage in your recovery! No need to thank me... you went through all of it and made it.. you did! So proud of you for sticking it out! We just tried to give ya a nudge in the right direction ; )you go girl!

Liz


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 2:51 pm 
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N I C E!!!!!!!
so so happy for you.. See, a piece of cake huh?? Lol old.

Very good Tam.. I love when this happens.. A great start for you.
And hey, YOU DID THIS. YOU DID. you made the first choice to seek out help and that is the hardest part T..
How did the Dr say to take your subs..?
Proud of ya Tam.. Ya hung in there. You were ready...

Razor R..


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 4:40 pm 
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Hey Liz and Razor

I am already feeling so much better :D
All the withdraws are gone! I am soooo proud of my self :D

The Dr. told me to first cut one of the strips in half and let it desolve and the wait about 30 minutes if I was still having some discomfort then use the other half. So that is what I did, because I was still a little achy and goose bumpy.
Now I feel actually somewhat normal, no high or spacy.
He told me to get on a schedule and not deviate from it if all possible and don't self adjust my doses higher. He said I can cut the strip into 3 parts too and only use 2 of what I cut (not for sure what that would equal) maybe you guys can help me with that.
I did get just a little bit of a head ache but it is gone now.
But maybe my next dose I will cut it into 3 piece and only use 2 and see if that works.
My next appointment is on the 30th and he wrote my a script for 40 8mg\2mg.

He said sometimes people feel good and will skip a does and that can lead to withdraw symptoms, and even if I am feeling good I can cut the dose back a little but stay schedule and no more than 2 strips a day.

So I just gotta get on a good schedule.
So what do you think about me taking it like 3 times a day cutting them in to 3's?

Thank you for any advice :)

My blood pressure was 160/129 and the nurse kinda freaked out, that is the only time I got scared and thought "Shit they may put me in the damn hospital because I am about to have a withdraw stroke!"

But I explained to her I have high blood pressure and while in withdraw is why its so high. She still looked at me like I was a "walking stroke" and hell I probably was!
I have heard of people dyeing from withdraws. So I am glad I didn't wait any longer, I may have stopped to early yesterday because I didn't really taper, just stopped cold turkey after already taking 70mg by lunchtime.

Oh and guys after I get leveled out I want to help you guys on here to encourage others to get help especially after thinking about my blood pressure today, and how much stress is put on the body.
Hell my blood pressure was probably spiking like that every time I went into WD's. I am surprised I am still alive!

xoxoxo
tam


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 5:03 pm 
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OK, ready for another one of my stories?
My BP was 205/97.so ya, BP s in the high range can be very dangerous. Just got on meds for it last Jan. What I'm saying is that ya in WA, it'll go up.
The reason I felt it good to stop your oxys was so you would have plenty of time between your last use and your sub. See what I mean..?
You will a great help to us and others here Tam.

Dosing, until you find and get stable, your Dr is right, cutting them down a bit and going slowly is best I think. Sub is very potent. You want the W D s gone but also the Cravings too. And to feel good and normal.
8mgs a day is a great starting point. If you need to take more in the next few hours, go slow and cut sub into quarters. That makes each piece 2mgs. You may only need 8mgs,maybe 10. You ll find the right dose. As Dr said try not to over take it. More side effects. Oh, plus in the very beginning you can get low grade headache. Seems most people do. It's a good indicater that your dose maybe high enough. Lots to know huh? There is much to read on Dr j s blog on all of this too Tam... Very happy for ya friend.

Sub Saves!!!!!!! Razor....


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 5:32 pm 
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Razor
Now I get it, uhhh I think :idea: ... hummm lol
I may need some coaching lol!

I will try that and take just take 1/4 in a couple of hours then instead of like half... I kinda see what your saying, I can just keep my does low and take it like 4 times a day once I get I guess my system saturated.
So I am gonna try this... my last dose was around 11:30. So I will be coming up on 6 hours pretty soon. I am thinking I will only take 1/2 then. I usually stay up late on the weekends and will wait to a few hours and then another 1/4 a few hours later.

My hardest times is in the morning... Hurting, stiff and just plain feel shitty. So in the mornings I may take 1/2 and then 1/4 through out the day tomorrow every 4 hours or so and see how that does me.

Does that make any since?
ohhh razor, I really do feel like a new person already!

Guess what? I got a phone call a little while ago and won a drawing I entered a couple of weeks ago. The drawing I won was from a cosmetic call Avon. So I met her up the road and just really hit it off! She lives about 10 minutes from me and we sat in the winn Dixie parking lot and talked for I bet an hour about everything from abuse, addiction, family, personal issues that people don't understand looking in from the out side. We both say in her little Avon van and spilled our hearts to each other with laughing and crying all at the same time. I think I made a new friend :)


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 10:38 pm 
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Oh, Liz and Razor

Do either one of you smoke? Needless to say I am a heavy smoker. But what is your thought on smoking while the film melts? I did on my last does and just want to made sure I am not interfering with the asord process :D

I hope you guys are having a wonderful evening, I am so glad I have met yall, dont know what I would have done with out yall.
Raz you were talking about the blood pressure thing a while ago.
I have been on it bp meds for many years but never reaqlly needed then while taking my pain pills. So, I am thinkin I gottta start taking them right before I do have a stroke. My sister is one year younger than me and she had a stroke 3 years ago and now is confined to a wheel chair due to high blood pressure.
Have a bless night I talk about yall to my daughter and close friend all the time, I call you guys my "councilers" :) :)


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 10:52 pm 
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I, unfortunately, am a smoker. It is recommended not to eat, drink, talk, smoke, or swallow while your suboxone is dissolving. I did smoke a few times in the beginning while the film was dissolving. I doubt that one time is going to make a difference, but it can interfere with absorbtion, so it's not a good idea.

I've cut back my smoking quite a bit since starting subs, haven't been able to quit just yet... one thing at a time right? Are you thinking at all about trying to quit smoking in the future? I think it's probably one of the best things we could do to improve our overall health. I'm working on it though. I've never met a person who quit smoking who regrets it.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 9:51 am 
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Morning all,
Well I do smoke. Should quit,haven't, someday..
I smoke before, then just after the melt. Never seemed to notice any difference. That's just me. Idk.. Sub is so darn potent I've just never had an issue..

Tam, just like you I WAS on BP meds. And, a year in to my pill taking I took my BP,it was so low I stop too.. Well, last winter my clinic began check our BP. Yup 200/95.205/99,198/100..well you get the picture.
Go get on new meds Tam. I'm pleased to report I'm in the 118/72 range. Ya me. It's a good feeling. Scary thinking that for 3 years my BP was soooo high. Never felt it. Working outside in my veggie gardens all summer in the heat.. Gezz..

How are you feeling this morning Tam?? Great I hope.. How's dosage?


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 11:49 am 
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Good Morning Lix and Razor

Hope you guys are having a wonderful day, I know I am~ :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

I feel great! I did do a whole strip this morning, no headach no high, just feel like I got on a really good antidepressant! Really it does! and the best part "no cravings!" Not one! I love it. And... I slept through the entire night and woke up feeling like I used to before I started on the pills!
Yesterday afternoon I took 1/2 strip and then about 11:30pm before I went to bed I took the other half. I think I found a good schedule. 1 strip on the morning and then 1/2 in the afternnod and 1/2 before I go to bed.

You guys have been my inspiration and I thank you for coaching me to hang in there, it would have been so easy to turn back in the middle of my withdraw because it was within hands reach!

I will honestly say that I love you guys!

Tam


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 4:14 pm 
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Oh, liz...

I have had my eye on a dremal tool for doing acrlic nails, I do nails on the weekends for a few friends and do my own too, it relaxing for me, along with lash exstentions. So... I know since I will save almost 500 this week and another 400 to 500 next week I am going to march up to Sally's and get that tool maybe next week! lol

Feeling a little tied this afternoon but can handle that :D , it's much better that chasing pills or being in panic mode as I usually am on a Friday.

The bf and I are going to make a trip out of town this weeknd becaue he has to renew a licences for flying rockets. But I am hoping this will give us a chance to really talk. I am really seeing things already in a different light, I have been very bitter toward him because he wouldn't go with me yesterday. I am not going to push him hard but want to talk to him without me being high on pain meds and high emotions freaking out...
Wish me luck :)

I am going to take my laptop with me and hopefully the hotel we are staying in has wifi. If they do I will check on you guys from time to time this weekend.

But if they don't have wifi it may be Monday before yall hear from me :D

Lot's of love I am feeling today and for the first time in a long time I am thinking alot clearer.

Thanks,
tam

I hope that you guys are having a great day today!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 4:45 pm 
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Hey T,
Always good to have clean hobbies.
Nails included. And it's artistic.

Sounds like you have the dosing plan in place.

You are a pain patient aren't you?
Reason I ask is with sub twice a day three at the most. Ideally once a day is a addiction breaker. With pain, more so..

It ll be good to get out of town and you guys can have a chat. Hope it works out or you make some head way. Maybe just by seeing you clean Wil help..

Have a great weekend... Razor


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