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PostPosted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 6:21 am 
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Today is the day for you to get on a maintinence program. I'm happy for you or as Q would say "tickled for you".
Life will be so much easier knowing you will be at the proper dose and under a doctors care. It has to be a huge relief.

There is no worse feeling when you run out and desperation sets in. That's when we can slip up. Congrats on finding a doctor. Life is going to get better for you and your family.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 7:34 am 
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Hey there my friend,

Haven't heard from you for a couple of days. How did your appointment go with your new Sub doc. Hope things worked out for you.
It was sounding like you were finally getting your life back in order. I hope nothing changed for the worse. either way I am here if you need to talk.

Gary


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 10:51 am 
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I am doing well my friend.

Monday, I decided to invite the family over for dinner as I lost touch with the step mother and brother when the father took his life last year. It was too hard for me to go back over the the house. I was only thinking of myself, and not thinking about how hard it was for them.... I guess I always felt like it should hurt me more because he was my blood, but I know now that was some bullshit thinking. Anyway, I had them over for a nice dinner that went well.

Tuesday was the First day of the rest of my life hopefully. I went to my Dr and spilled the beans. She is starting me on 16 MG per day, 8MG in the morning and at night. I tried to tell her I felt this was too much, but after talking with her about it, I differed to her judgement... She said we could revisit it next appointment or two once I am stabilized.

I am in that grey area today, when you're between using a full agonist and a partial. feel kinda bad, but I know its not nearly as bad as can be. I can't wait to come out of this phase. I didn't sleep much last night as it was induction day, so I waited for full blown WDs. By the time they woke me up and I could get relief I had been up for three hours in the middle of the night. I am at work today but wishing I was in bed. Ah well, heres to wishing.

All in all I think I am good. I am looking forward to seeing what a "true" dose of suboxone will do for me and my cravings. They even offered counselling, one on one, that I signed up for. THe Dr sounded pretty surprised when I said yes as I am sure many other do not, but I also went in with the attitude that I had NO answers and I was open to all suggestions. So next month I will have a one on one session and we'll go from there. From there, they could recommend a plethora of different programs, the one I seem to be most interested in is a one on one with an addictionologist.

I hope you guys are doing well, I will be browsing the forums to say hi to you...


Much love,

John.

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 11:23 am 
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That's great. Sounds like your new doc is totally committed helping you in your recovery.

An Addictionologist, wish I could find me one of them.

Once you stabilize on your dose you should be back to normal. I had no cravings whatsoever after stabilizing. Sleep became easy. Sometimes too easy. :)

Glad to here you had the family over. You need family in your life.

Good to hear from you and we'll talk soon.

Gary


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 12:31 pm 
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Reprieve wrote:
Tuesday was the First day of the rest of my life hopefully. I went to my Dr and spilled the beans. She is starting me on 16 MG per day, 8MG in the morning and at night. I tried to tell her I felt this was too much, but after talking with her about it, I differed to her judgement... She said we could revisit it next appointment or two once I am stabilized.
That's great news, John! Your on your way and should begin feeling much better real soon.

Sorry your not feeling so great right now. I just wanted to say that I personally believe that WE are the best judge of what our dose should be. The doctor is trying hard to do what she believes is right for you, but unless she has used this drug herself, it's very hard for anyone to really and truly understand it like someone that has been on it does.

I think if you feel your dose is too high, then you might want to take a little bit less and see how you feel. If that works better, then inform the doctor and I'm quite certain she would understand. And if you feel it's not quite enough, maybe go the other direction and take a bit more and see if that makes you feel better. The doctor shouldn't mind too much if you experiment with the dose a tiny bit in my opinion.

It may take a few days to stabilize. So I would probably stay where you are right now per the doctor's instructions and then make a decision. I'm sure you will be doing much better after a couple days pass. I still can't believe it worked out like it did, with you finding a doctor in the most unlikely of places, getting in quickly, and on your way! :D

Take care John and just know I'm thinking about ya and wishing you the very best. You have some amazing support here from several real good members. Keep posting and talking it through. Talk to you later my friend.

Karen :D


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 3:40 pm 
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Karen,

You're right about the doc. At first, she was going to give me 24MG a day. I told there was no way I was taking that much and I felt I would be good on 8MG at the MOST. She looked at me sideways as she flipped through my paperwork and she saw what I was taking daily to "get high". We settled on 16MG because she was worried about not only taking care of the WDs, but stopping the cravings which seems to be where I constantly come up short. I can get by with 1-2MG and get the WDs gone, but I can't shake that WANT. I protested and said that 16MG was still too much, but that I also didn't have any answers and that the reason I was here was because I obviously can't be trusted making decisions about my health at this point. I think I must have been her only patient ever to fight for a lower dosage, at least that's how she looked at me at first. I don't think she has ever had someone know as much (or probably more) about Bup than she did as I am sure I have spent MORE than 8 hrs studying it. In fact, I think it would be a lark to see if I could pass the exam they have after that 8 hour day.
Anyway, I think I also gained some credibility and respect from her as well. It pays to be honest with your doctor.

I think she is going to make me stop smoking pot, as it could jeopardize her license to prescribe to someone popping positive on a drug panel (Unless the SubOx doc can refute this). I don;t really want to as I feel that is a non-issue (I can see it from the addiction side, such as someone who drinks regularly) but on that paper it didn't have anything about abstaining from alcohol while in treatment, but I digress and I'll save that fight for another thread. I consented as I told her that I was willing to try anything to get over this addiction. I am in the process of quitting cigarettes, pot, and opiates. I hope my body doesn't go on strike. I know I'll feel like a new person once sober, but as an addict it has me scared. Oh well, better to be scared and getting healthy than to be comfortable dying.

Anyways, thanks for the kind words. I'll keep reporting back!

Much Love,

John

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:51 pm 
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First off, let me say that I am SUPER HAPPY that I was able to get into a sub program.

With that said, I feel I should vent a little about the whole process. If you don;t have insurance, I can see why help is out of reach. Even with insurance, it would almost be cheaper for me to stay addicted. Between the $260 (This was after the CASH DISCOUNT, $280 for Credit/Check) for the office visit, $450 per month for subs, and $80 per month for counseling.....

Now, I'm not saying my life isn't worth it, and that the doctors have no control over drug prices (unless they are marking the script "dispense as written"), but it does make me mad to think that if I wasn't in a situation where I could handle those costs, I'd have virtually no alternative....

I remember this being the reason that I dropped out of the sub program last time. I felt like I was being abused by the system. A system that take an oath to help those in need (unless they don't have any money). Now I am all for free enterprise and don't think the doctors should give there time away for free, but if an appointment is 15 min and they charge 260 per 15 min, then that doc is making $1040 an hour.... not to shabby. I know it;s the cynic in me, and this time I WILL stay in, but this will be one reason that I fight to get my dose lowered and soon. I feel like I went from an illegal drug deal to one that is legal.

OK< done venting... and maybe I am just in a foul mood while I stabilize, but geesh.... it's almost $750 a month to be clean.... No wonder so many people are turning to heroine. It's cheap.

alright, let the debate begin. :)

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 7:58 pm 
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99.9% of Doctors and People in general hear Addiction, and automatically label you as a scumbag. I still deal with this. When I go to a doctor, they see my history, and ask me questions like, Are you suicidal, Do you think about ..Killing people??? I had a dude ask me that today. I laughed my ass off, was almost crying I was laughing so hard . What bothers me the most are preconceived notions. The past is the past.

SuboxDOC is of the .1%.

Anyways, I have to say, It Is Expensive, but there's really no treatment out there like sub maintenance. It saves countless lives every day. BTW If you feel too zoned out on 16, go to 8. Just stock up for a rainy day when your doc skips town or you cant afford the visit. If I didn't stock up, I would have been in a bad spot at-least 4 times. This is the beginning of the rest of your life, and I'm happy to be here to witness it. I love seeing people overcome this kind-of shit! If I were you, I would take advantage of these 1-5 years your in a program, and set yourself up for success. Go to college, work three jobs and build a foundation. You want to have a foundation when or if you decide to come off in the future. If your retired, or already went to school, well then your the fucking man. Good for you bro

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 8:22 pm 
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Ditto to what Hope said.. all of it.

I can't be more thankful and appreciative for what suboxone has done for me. I tried many times without it to no avail. Nothing is a "miracle" drug, but I wouldn't hesitate to call what suboxone did for me, a bit of a miracle.

I know what you mean about the prices of suboxone. I was also fortunate enough to be in a position to pay for suboxone when I switched from methadone to suboxone. If I recall correctly, I was paying a total of $250 a month for the methadone clinic. When I switched to subs, the only doctor I could see in the beginning was a prominent addiction specialist at a top university in my town and he charged $500 per visit. With the meds on top of it, was easily $1k a month. (I didn't have insurance throughout my entire duration on suboxone.) I eventually found a doctor who only charged $100/ visit.. but I realize that was like winning the lotto. I had a good paying job and everything I made went to rent & sub treatment for the first few years. Can't stress enough how worth it it was, though. I do feel for the people who aren't in a position to fork out that kind of money.. It's sad. It shouldn't be that hard to get treatment.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 26, 2014 10:45 pm 
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hey John,
write the test, open up shop, you could be rich. :)
It is definitely expensive but I agree, it's worth it. Think of how much it would have cost if you started at 24mg. From my experience, I was at 24mg a day for the better part of 5 years and when I started to taper it was pretty easy to get to 8mg and feel stable. Mind you it could have been it took me that long at a higher dose to be able to feel stable at 8mg. Either way your on your way to a happier life. I have nothing bad to say about Suboxone. It saves lives and families.

I was lucky, my work insurance covered everything.

Glad to see your on the road to recovery.

Talk with ya later, Gary


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 12:40 pm 
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I guess it's about time to update my thread, at least for historical purposes :mrgreen:

Day 4 (I know, I started over the count after the last relapse... :( )

I am finally starting to stabilize after the last (and I do mean LAST!!!!!!!) relapse. Even though I protested being on such a high dose, I can see the benefit from it. I see my mood stabilizing and I haven't really had to battle cravings. Don't get me wrong, the though of using still pops into my head at least once every hour and I still find myself thinking like a "junkie" but it's only been a few days and I have had that though process for years... That's where all the work I need to do will come in.. Changing my thought process.

I had a small victory this week. My old dealer, who must have had a huge hit to his bank account since I stopped calling and I do mean huge. He called and asked if everything was OK. I know some of you are thinking "why did you even pick it up" but i thought about that, and if I didn't pick it up at least once more and address it, he would keep calling and that would have been playing Russian roulette... So I picked it up and explained that I will not be using anymore. I also told him to NOT call anymore. Once I hung up I went through and deleted all my "numbers"... thank God that people don't remember numbers anymore, so now that they are gone I really have no way to get them back... unless of course they call me, but then they would have to leave a message because I don't answer calls if your name is not stored in my phone.

My next appointment is March 25th and I am looking forward to it. I will get to meet my councilor and begin that part of my journey. I think that is the missing piece of the puzzle that I never took seriously before. I am hoping so.

I have been taking up to 16MG per day, although I have rarely gone over 12MG. There are few reasons for this, one being of the side effect of feeling the jitters. High doses of sub really get me wired and I don't like that feeling. Much more than that and I don't sleep well, even if dosing in the morning. Another reason is I want to see if I can beat the cravings with a smaller dose just to ease up a bit on the out of pocket cost. In my experience, I feel that I will be fine once I can get to around 8MG. Low chance of side effects and a good enough dose to smash my monster cravings.

The constipation has gotten pretty bad on 16MG as well which is strange because I was and am used to taking HUGE amounts of opiates... I mean, I have battled constipation in the past, but my body over the years adjusted to just be normal at those high doses... but now that I am back on subs, it's like I am eating ROCKS. I guess it's rabbit food(In Lizzieshug's words) for me for awhile :mrgreen:

Thanks to all of those keeping up with me and lending me your ears and shoulders for strength and support. Without you this would a million times harder. I truly love all of you. Thank you guys and gals for helping me to begin to get my life back.

Much Love,

John

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 2:16 pm 
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What's up John. It looks like your on your way ! As far as the stomach problems go, I would take a teaspoon of Metamucil one to two times per day. When I originally started treatment, I gained like 30 pounds because my digestive system seemed to just stop. Metamucil will help more than I can express. Keep it up bro

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 6:19 pm 
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Hey John,
You did the right thing talking to your X dealer. Letting him know your done. Getting rid of #'s you don't need is wise. I still get thoughts on and off but can get rid of them in a hurry. I just think back where I was 15 to 30+ years ago and where I am now. Poof, the thoughts are gone. Suboxone saved my life, my career and my wallet.
It can be a bummer (no pun intended) when your not regular. I agree with hOpe though, Metamucil is suppose to work good. I was lucky, never had that problem on Sub's.

I like your attitude, get yourself where you are stable for a bit and then see if you can reduce. Just don't rush it. Give yourself a chance to be comfortable. I know the cost is high but the reward is greater.

It has to feel good to get control of your life. It can only get better from here. We are all rooting for you. Keep looking ahead, never look back my friend.

Gary


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 9:12 pm 
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thanks for the" rabbit food" quote, lol! but seriously my doctor recommended eating lots of salads, veggies, i.e. rabbit food, really just foods with lots of fiber was all that was necessary for me to combat the irregularity.... so far I haven't had to take anything.

I'm glad you're getting a handle on things now John.I'll be rooting for you all the way man! I second what the others said about getting comfortable on your rx'd dose before going down on it. give yourself a chance to feel good, normal, and craving free for a while!


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 9:55 pm 
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Information well received. I promise I will take it slow. So far in the few days I have been experimenting, taking 4MG every 4 hours, until I have either hit my max of 16MG or think I feel where I want to be. I have found 8MG isn't enough and 16 is a tad too much. My best day was around 12MG, but I think I may boost to 14MG just to see. I know what you're saying right now... that "You haven't even given enough time in between doses to really know. You aren't stabilized yet" and you're right... I am trying to combat the side effects right now as 16MG was just bit too much... I get really anxious at higher doses, like a really really bad coffee buzz. 8MG was not enough and I felt that "you're getting the flu" feeling. I think my cravings have been well taken care of to a manageable level even with all the beginning fluctuations. I promise I will be careful and keep in mind the number one goal is to hold back the cravings and prevent relapse. Second I wan't to get back to 1 dose per day, once I find my correct dose.

Thank you for all your support. I thank God that I found this site. You guys are amazing.

Much love and respect, ,

John

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:37 am 
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Hey John,

It can be a little confusing trying to find the dose that makes you feel comfortable.If my memory serves me right,(I don't have a lot of confidence in that) the first few days on Subs the Doc played with my dose kind of what you are doing. But I'm pretty sure by mid week I stayed at a dose (24mg) taken once a day. Now you have to remember I came off Methadone quick and hard. If I had done things right I probably didn't need to be on that level of a dose. You see, even in both maintinence plans ( methadone - Suboxone) I always ran to the max. That has been my life story. All or nothing. It took me till last year to figure out I didn't need that high of a dose.
I get what your saying about the buzz when the dose is too high for you. You are right to back off a bit. I've been there too. Like the addict I am there were days when I took 32mg I would get that effect. I guess that's why the max dose should be 24mg.

Like you are saying 16mg is too much and are trying to find the sweet spot. You are also right in working toward 1 dose a day. I am pretty sure once you find the correct dose that you should have no problem taking it once a day. Take your time. Everyone is different and this is only my opinion.

I have faith in you to do what is best for you. If once a day doesn't work in the end it doesn't mean you failed. Lot's of people have to split there dose. I did that for a while also. Not at the beginning, in the middle of my recovery. Weird, yes, what can I say.

Proud of you John, keep up the good work,

Gary


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 12:24 pm 
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I am going to get a little philosophical on this post, as part of my addiction documentation. I am not really looking for any answers as much as just trying to get some feelings down on paper(?) but anyone that would like to add or share is more than welcome!

(This is VERY long.. It's more of a journal entry than an update on my recovery. I was only trying to document and work through some feelings I was having.. if you read it, I hope you can gain some insights into your own recovery or at least begin to think about them. If you don't read it, I won't be mad... It's almost 8000 words :mrgreen: At least I didn't come close to the 60000 word limit :lol: I also apologize for all the grammar and spelling errors.)

Cravings Vs Boredom: Why I used, My thoughts...

These past few days I have been really trying to tune into my body and my mind. I have been trying to figure out and learn it. Learn it's tricks and how it convinces me to use. In the last week I have been trying to figure out if there is a difference in a "real craving" and just thinking about or wanting to "get high" because there is nothing else to do.

I know this is a very subjective subject, and for the most part I feel that Suboxone has quenched my "cravings". And by cravings, I personally am speaking to those feelings similar to having a cigarette, or when you just have to have that milk shake. You know what I mean, that feeling of, I must do this at peril of feeling terrible or consumed by the thought. Those feelings are gone with Suboxone.

What I can't shake is those thoughts, especially when there is nothing to do, that want me to use as a form of entertainment. I have used drugs in one form or another for much of my life, and all of my adult life. I started young... in high school, in fact 9th grade. I was very influenced by peer pressure and I always knew I was going to follow the paradigm that I thought high school should follow, and this of course was spoon fed to me through the media. What can I say, I know now that I never learned the tools to deal with the falsities that mainstream media (The TV) feeds to the youth. I grew up thinking that TV WAS REALITY. Based on my upbringing and my parents’ socioeconomical status, I formed an opinion early on as to what "path" my life should and would follow based on all the stereotypes associated with that vision. My parents were high school educated lower middle class. I saw myself such and never aspired to be anything more. I knew my parents were "stoners" in high school, so I too must be one.

During my early childhood, I was considered bright and advanced compared to others in my age group. I was always in classes with older kids beginning in 2nd grade, when I was moved into classes with 3rd graders. My IQ was tested one time at 144... I'm not stating this to brag, because to me, someone who desperately just wanted to fit in and blend, it was more like having a birthmark on my face (No disrespect to anyone in such a situation, I am writing this as to how I felt as an adolescent, before I left all of those discriminatory feelings behind) I wanted to be invisible... but this of course brought with it a "spotlight" so to speak.

Not knowing then that children (and people in general) will ostracize anyone for anything deemed “outside” of the group no matter what, I felt that I had to do something to “convince” them that I was like them. I always had trouble with bullies so to speak. Not physical violence. I always had a knack at talking my way out of that, but it usually entailed my trying to conform to the group and prove that I was like everyone else. Hence my issues with peer pressure. It was a survival instinct. On top of that insecurity, we moved A LOT when I was a child. I never went to a school more than a year at a time, most of the time maybe two schools a year. It wasn't until high school that I had any consecutive time at school and that was only because I told my parents that if they moved while I was in high school, I would ask to be emancipated. I wanted so desperately to build those high school friendships that are supposed to last a life time.

I am rambling now and I will try to summarize and get back to my main point, it just feels good to get this out on paper(?).

I was always told that I was different, smarter, than most and had potential to be better than my parents. They told me that. I know, as a parent myself, that all of us parents want our children to have a better life than we had. To make something of themselves, to make a mark on the world. I want this for my children. My parents wanted this for me, and told me so. What they didn't know is that, for whatever psychological reason, that didn't sound like what I wanted. I didn't want to be better or different. I was also a small child. I am still a small man. When you are trying to fit in and not be bullied in school, being “better” than someone who was bigger and had a chip on their own shoulder, you can see how I thought I was an easy prey to be bullied.

I went on with that to kind of rationalization(?), at least in my young mind, why I started my life of drugs. It was me trying to fit in, to prove that I wasn't better than anyone… I was just like them. It may not be a true view of the world, but at the time it was the view i had and what I used to make the choices that I made. Again, I am not saying they we’re right, I am only stating it because I am trying to get this out so that I can try to address the reasons for my addictions.

Now, to wrap it around to my original thesis: I learned early on that drug use was to be the norm if I wanted to fit in with the socioeconomic group that I felt I related too. I was too poor to hang out with the other “smart” well to do children that I probably should have befriended. I felt they would never accept me because we didn't have a computer in the house, or have a nice car, we rented an apartment while everyone own a home, I wore Wal-Mart clothes and shoes not Abercrombie and Fitch, you know what I am trying to say. I related, or so I thought, to those who parents were also only high school educated, people who had no roots or strong family ties, lived in rental apartments, and (because I knew my parents had done drugs, marijuana especially) found myself hanging out with the “stoners”

And this is how I grew into an adult, learning from my peers, doing drugs.
I just learned that instead of sports, my hobby was doing drugs. experimenting with all drug, trying to “expand my mind” and I fought the status-quo through my dress and music. Getting tattoos when they were still a bit on the taboo side. Nowadays, they call these kids EMO, and I guess I was a bit like that. Not into the all black dress and makeup, and black fingernail polish, but I did dress against the grain, wore long hair, and did whatever I could to “be an individual” all the while trying to be like my peers , they too trying to “be an individual” (how ironic that is!!)

Most of my life I have been taking drugs, most of the time just because there was nothing else to do. It was my sport, my hobby. I am not having the cravings for opiates like i said… the ones more like needing a cigarette or something a woman might feel when pregnant. I more or less have been consumed by the need to use during times when one would normally watch TV or some other hobby.

The work I will need to do during my recovery will be retraining myself to better handle my free time. To be productive. Now that I am older, I don't have so much of a problem with peer pressure. Not saying it’s gone, but as an adult I see it for what it is and the thoughts usually go away. I truly now only care what my family (and to a lesser extent co-workers) think of me. I am only responsible to them. I have over the years improved my self esteem although I still find myself needing some form of external validation. I think that the lions share of my recovery work will be in forming GOOD productive habits. Trying to find something that I can enjoy, hopefully with my children or wife, that I can use to take up my time.

If you read through this and made it to the end, I thank you. I hope that one day, this might help myself or someone, if only to get themselves thinking about their own reasons for using.

Much Love,

John

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


Last edited by Reprieve on Sun Mar 02, 2014 3:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 12:54 pm 
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That was awesome. Digging into your past and putting it on paper is definitely good. It takes a lot of guts to dig into our demons.

Good for you John,

Gary............yes I read the whole thing :)


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 3:07 pm 
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John, you are soooo right!! I also found that my biggest challenge was to fill up my free time which had been filled by feeling high before. It's a major stumbling block to recovery! Even when the cravings stopped for me when I got on suboxone, I still found it hard to find anything to look forward to.

It took me quite a while to fill my life back up, but I did it and you will too! A lot of people who are functioning addicts have to work every day, but I didn't have any reason to leave the house. Eventually I started volunteering, which was a precursor to going back to work. 2 and a half years later I am working 4 days a week. I still struggle with wanting to stay home when I'm not working, but I keep striving to make my life more fulfilling.

I wish you the best on your journey as you figure out what is going to work for you. I'm sorry that you didn't go to my high school in Vermont. There wasn't much economic disparity, and being smart was respected. So there were smart poor kids and smart middle class kids, etc. If fitting in with a group was driving your behavior, you easily could have fit in with the academically oriented kids. I wonder also if parental expectation played an important role in driving you to hang with the kids who used drugs. I'm sure that parental pressure drives many kids to rebel and self-identify with a different crowd.

I'm the parent of a teenage son (going on 16), so I think about this subject quite a bit. He has grown up in a home where education is emphasized, but I've always tried to keep expectations from hindering him. I remember that my parents always lectured that I wasn't living up to my potential if I brought home less than an A. I don't want to put that kind of pressure on my son, so I try to celebrate what he does well and not get particularly hung up on the infrequent B. I want him to stay away from drugs and alcohol, but I also want to be realistic. I've told him he can always call me to get a ride home if he's been drinking. So far he's stayed away from both. Because he self-identifies with academically oriented kids, I think he's afraid of destroying any brain cells. :) Some may wonder how I know that he hasn't experimented. First, he and I do have pretty good communication (although teens have such an interior life going on that they don't share with their parents), and secondly he doesn't go anywhere yet but home and school and an engineering club. Sorry I've gone off in my own direction! I didn't mean to hijack your thread, but you brought up a lot of great stuff that I've been thinking about lately.

I wish you much success in your continued recovery!

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 7:08 pm 
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Day 5 (still in dose experiments): Today I dosed 12MG all at once instead of breaking it up... Big mistake. I felt terrible for about an hour or two. Sweating and slight nausea with a lot of speedy jitters.

I think 12MG is where I need to be but I think I will keep it at 8MG in the morning and 4MG in the afternoon. This seems to allow me everything I am looking for with minimal negative effects. Soon I hope to work to one dose per day but am happy going twice daily for a bit.

Went outside and played with the kids today. Spring is coming FINALLY. We have about 65 degrees and sunny today. Even took out the model helicopters. I also race scooters with my son for a bit and if you have never seen a 34 year old man on one of those tiny razor scooters, you haven't seen anything ;)

I haven't had that much fun playing with them in awhile.

Well its on to clean the house and feed the kids before the wife gets home from work.

Talk to you guys soon,

john

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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