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PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 1:54 am 
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Location: Ontario, Canada
I am relocating halfway across the country to get away from the triggers and temptations. This city reminds me of getting high and pain. My physical withdrawal has faded for the most part but my mind is going haywire. I keep contemplating relapse and suicide. I am scared to be alive. I am trying the gym, food and everything natural but I am still having a brutal time. I have a job waiting for me in another province working 12 hours a day 7 days a week. Work is the only other thing that has ever settled my mood and mind other then the junk. I feel like I need to do this but my old lady hates me for it, she is making ke stressed all day long we can't have a calm conversation anymore. Should I go?
I am sick of sitting around and roaming forums for answers to MY life. no one comes around, nothing ever happens, life sucks. I need to ge out.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 2:04 am 
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So do I do it or not?

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 11:37 am 
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No matter where you go you take yourself with you, and YOU have the problem. Drugs are always a symptom of the real problem, not the problem itself. Your real problem is you don't know how to be comfortable inside your own skin.

Addicts are always looking for ways to get away from themselves and their feelings. Drugs, of course, but also workaholism, exercise, nutrition, relationships...we ocd everything. Recovery is not self-help. I've almost never seen an addict recover by themselves, and the ones who did were miserable. They were white-knuckling and had never really addressed the problem.

Find a support group, counseling, whatever, as long as it involves others who have recovered. The reason you'll never fix yourself is because you're trying to use what's broken to fix what's broken. Feel me? You need other people who can be objective and see the truth. Fear keeps us isolated, stoned and miserable.

Remember, recovery is not about kicking drugs. It's about redesigning your life where you don't always need drugs to face it.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 12:04 pm 
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I think the above post is very valuable advice. Can moving help in the short term? Maybe, but eventually it will not be new anymore and then what? While everywhere is different, everywhere is the same. You need to figure out why you feel like this, why are you depressed?

Seek therapy or counseling and consider anti depressants. It is very common for detoxed opiate addicts to suffer from depression and many of us get on an anti depressant. It doesn't have to be forever. While your wife may be angry and resentful right now, she obviously still loves you or would have given up. How can alienating yourself from love be the answer in the long run?

We addicts tend to think of ourselves but think of her. She has been thru this with you and deservingly so has feelings she needs to deal with. Perhaps you can seek help together. You both need to learn how to live together drug free and happy.

Running away is the easy way out and eventually will leave you in the same spot. It's time to put the hard work in and truly enter recovery.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 2:25 pm 
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You need to do what is best for you. Your loved ones should support you in that.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 7:43 pm 
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As people who know nothing about you, it's just not possible for us to give you any good answers or advice. Yes, running away just means taking your problems to a new geographical location. But sometimes a new location IS just what you need. I know for me, a few months after I started suboxone, we just happened to be moving and it helped me greatly in my new remission.

You'll really have to look deep inside yourself and be very honest with yourself with what you see.

Getting a therapist is always, I think, good advice. It's my opinion that you should do that before making any major decisions, since you do seem very conflicted right now. A good therapist can help you to understand yourself better and why you do some of the things you do. Maybe after getting some things done in therapy you'll have a better idea of what you'll need for yourself.

Good luck to you.

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 3:01 pm 
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A therapist told me that one time because I am the master at moving. I must say though in the defense of a geographical change can be a good idea. I have spent half of my life in a small country town in Western North Carolina and the other half of my life in Daytona Beach Florida. My addiction is heightened and on red alert when I am in Daytona. Reason being this is where my most recent and most debilitating events occurred in my addiction. I have more using buddies to include family and the life alone in a faster paced town is a trigger for me. I have no recovery success in Daytona and here in North Carolina I have at times been able to avoid using etc… I am not saying I cannot live sober or on MMT in Daytona successfully but as Golden said I need more added to my recovery than just MMT when I choose to live there now or in the future.
But with all that being said Yes, it was very important and useful for me to move back to Western North Carolina putting space between me and people, places and things when I decided to get off dope. (I know that comments a bit “steppy”, but I do believe that twelve stepping can assist us in recovery) If I would have delayed moving and/or stayed, I am sure to say, I would not have two years under my belt in MMT. But moving was only a part in the success, but like I said, it was a necessary part at that time and space in my life. I think anything new we try is an effort and effort is good. Where the wasting our time and non success is repeating things that have not worked in the past.

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Wishing you the best in love and life. Finallyachance.


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