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PostPosted: Tue Aug 07, 2012 6:11 pm 
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I was on Suboxone for roughly 2 years and it worked miracles for me. No cravings, no depression, motivated, sucessful, etc. It honestly made me feel normal. I thought if I could take a low dosage for the rest of life, it would be wonderful. Well, it finally came time to taper and I was terrified. I relapsed the very week I stopped taking suboxone and have been using since. Talk about zero control. That was about 5 months ago. I finally made an appointment to see my old suboxone doc. I'm very scared and aprehensive that he's going to say tough luck. I have no self control when it comes to opiates. I really feel I need to be back on suboxone and in the program. I realize relapses are very common. But in you all's experience, are doctor's willing to help you the 2nd time around? My life is spiraling out of control, again, and I'm afraid that I will not receive the help I need. Advice , experiences, words of encouragement are appreciated. Thanks.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 7:39 am 
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Hello Lovehereafter and welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear that you relapsed so soon after stopping suboxone. There are a couple of things that come to mind when reading that. One is, did you work a recovery program while on suboxone? Like did you work on the things that make you use. Did you deal with the underlying issues, or just take the sub and that's it? Having a little more information makes it easier to give you sound advice. I'll tell you my experience and maye that will help.

I am a chronic relapser. No matter how hard I have worked at my recovery, no matter how many different ways I sorked through the issues that seem to be at the heart of my addiction, I always always always go back to using. It took me a lot of relapses and a lot of hard lessons learned, to learn this about myself. Even though I had the coping skills and tools necessary to face a trigger or situation that presented itself, it never helped me. Knowing this about myself, I am OK with having to take suboxone the rest of my life. Not everyone needs to do this though. It's just something I learned about myself along the way, and over the years.

I tried AA, NA, church, rehab (short term and long term), and countless outpatient treatments. I have found that the greatest chance for me to remain clean, is to continue my treatment with an addiction specialist, and to stay on suboxone. One day, I may be strong enought o come off of the suboxone. But for now I am not worrying about that.

You need to do whatever you need to do for your self. If you have done everything you know to do and still feel like you will always resort to using, then maybe suboxone is what you need. Only you know this.

As far as your doctor goes, what is his/her stance on long term maintenance? Did you guys even talk about that before? I would suggest talking toyour doctor and find out what he thinks about long term maintenance. If he doesn't agree and has the "tough luck" mentality, then I would find another suboxone doctor. You can ask these questions over the phone when you call around. Simply ask the receptionist what the doctors position is on long term maintenance.

I hope this helped a little bit. Let us know what your doctor says and what you decided to do. I am sure others are going to come along and chime in too. So you will have plenty of suggestions. This forum is great like that!

Take care and again, Welcome!

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 8:07 am 
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I've tried many different treatments as well. I had the most success with NA but, I stopped going when I started using again. Unfortunately, I don't think I dealt with the underlying issues like I should have. I relied too much on suboxone and didn't address my real issues. I honestly think that long term maintenance on sub would work wonders for me. I'll see what my doctor tells me today. I just have no control when it comes to using opiates. I've abused other drugs but opiates have control over me like no other.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 11:42 am 
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Hi LoveHereAfter and welcome. You got some great advice from Goinstrong. There are many doctors who are joining the camp of long-term maintenance because of high relapse rates when ceasing suboxone treatment. Please don't feel so bad and don't think it's a matter of self-control. Think of it this way, opiate addiction is like flipping a switch in your brain. Once flipped, it can't be undone and many people (doctors included) believe that you'll always "need" those opiates which is why long-term maintenance is a good answer. It's a matter of opinion to many.

For our own self-worth and growth and quality of life, not to mention recovery purposes, it's always a good idea to get into therapy if you have old issues and you're sure you started using for specific reasons (to cover up old issues like abuse of some kind). For me it's been so important and has changed me for the better in so many ways. I used to be very unhappy, now I love myself and I'm pleasant and friendly to be around when I previously never was. Whether it helps you to stop suboxone in the future or not, it will benefit you; I firmly believe that.

But please, I can't stress this enough - don't feel so bad and put all this on yourself. Opiate addiction is a medical condition. You wouldn't feel guilty if you went off your blood pressure medication and you ended up having to go back on it, would you?

As for your doctor, like Goinstrong said, it depends a lot on how s/he feels about long-term maintenance, but I'd say be honest in that you really thought after two years that you were ready. You don't have to say right off that you relapsed the first week (unless they ask), but for someone who deals with addicts, I can't imagine they won't be understanding. All you can do is be honest and hope they understand. Good luck and I hope this helps. Keep us posted.

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 1:14 pm 
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I'm not going to repeat what was already said as you got great feedback already. Just want to let you know that this is a place you can post all you want if it makes you feel better.

Go back onto Suboxone, seek out an Addiction Therapist and work on those life issues you have. Don't worry about tapering and stopping. When the time is right, you'll know it.

Welcome to the forum,

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 8:08 pm 
YO dis message is 4 LOVEEVAAFTER . HEY GIRL I FEELS YOU. I GOT THAT STATE INSURANCE YOU NO, THAT GOVEMENT CHEESE WE SAY IN THE PRODS. DONT NO IF U GOT GOV CHEESE BUT IF U DONT THEN SHIT. MAKE MOVES. IF DR WONT SELL TO U. HIT THE STREETS. THEY OUT THERE. KNOCK ON THE RIGHT DOOR U SCORE. HIT THE WRONG DOOR, U HITTIN DA FLOOR! HAHA U FEELS ME !


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 10:42 pm 
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Loveherafter

I hope things went well at the doctor today. I mean, geez they are ADDICTION doctors, wouldnt you think they would be supportive for you after a relapse???
I know, not all of them are. I think you've already heard this, but if you 'old' doctor wont Rx Suboxone for you, just keep trying to find a 'maintenace' doctor that will. Try, try again, and try some more. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

And dont feel bad either, I KNOW, without a doubt, if I were to go off suboxone, Id be right back pill huntin in no time. I just know it.

Good luck,,,,,
we're here for you

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anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 5:39 pm 
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Thanks for all the kind words and support, it always helps. My doctor put me back on suboxone but, he made it very clear that he doesn't believe in long term maintenance. He even told me that he shouldn't have kept me on it for 2 years. My dr. believes suboxone should strictly be used for detoxing as opposed to long term maintenance. I live in the south in a very conservative state, so his views don't surprise me all that much. He is willing to keep me on sub no longer than a year. At least that will give me time to find another doctor who supports long term treatment. If it saves peoples lives, I don't understand why more doctors don't support long term maintenance. Maybe as we learn more and more about the benefits of suboxone, doctors will become more open minded.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 6:50 pm 
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I'm so glad to hear that he put you back on it. And I agree, you at least have some time before he'll try to get you off to find a new doctor and make future plans. I'm happy that you have a new recovery plan. Good luck and keep us posted.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 7:36 pm 
Keep your head in the game. Work hard with your game plan and you will go far!

Suboxone worked great for me to in the start. I would say for the first 6 months i was more confident, outgoing and just more sucessful period. But, after that it did a complete 180. (FOR ME) . I am only saying this as a personal point of view. This is only my accounts. I am not saying this will happen to everyone on suboxone.Well Maybe. haha kiddin. I am only speaking for myself. Again, myself only.

*Reminder- this is my own person accounts. This is not in any way, shape or form a fact for the human race. This is not NON FICTION for all. Please, I want to stress that this is what happened to me with suboxone. Only me. Did i mention this is just my story?


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:41 pm 
YO SHORTY, ITS NORMAL TO BE SCARED AND TERRFYED WHEN YOUS ABOUT TO JUMP or taper. i feel you ddeep on this one. any human be scared on this shit. yo where i comes from you dont say you scared about gettin killed. yo u just dont say them words. i stand right here standin tall sayin. yo im scared of comin off this shit. 4 real. no problem shorty i got u on dis shit. u ain t alone.

yo and for funny man the one above me. i read yo crazy ass posts. lol u got me laughin my ass off for real homie. U got some swagg on the stempf, u good wit dem words. yo u sure u aint no lawyer? cuz i could use one right bout now!! hahaha jut fuckin wit u, yea damn skippy


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:50 pm 
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Winningduhepic/SuboxSaves - You do realize that we can look up your IP address and we know that you are the same person, right?

I'm not sure why you're in here talking to yourself, or why you're putting on different characters/voices, but you're not fooling anyone.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 10:26 pm 
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What's happened to this forum? Lol. Oh well, it IS the Internet after all.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 10:30 pm 
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Diary of a Quitter wrote:
Winningduhepic/SuboxSaves - You do realize that we can look up your IP address and we know that you are the same person, right?

I'm not sure why you're in here talking to yourself, or why you're putting on different characters/voices, but you're not fooling anyone.


Turns out it's three people, the third one being "want2endme". Yes, we're on to you.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 10:30 pm 
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Diary of a Quitter wrote:
Winningduhepic/SuboxSaves - You do realize that we can look up your IP address and we know that you are the same person, right?

I'm not sure why you're in here talking to yourself, or why you're putting on different characters/voices, but you're not fooling anyone.



If only, we had a "like button''

[marq=right]***LIKE***[/marq]

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anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 10:33 pm 
Ha, so quick to assume. you ' re very proud of yourselves. there is someone else using this computer that lives with me.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 10:54 pm 
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Two people living with you who use that computer? RIGHT....

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2012 6:03 am 
I'm not going to explain myself. Also, take your own advice....If you have a problem PM someone it. Hyprocrits.

Subosaves is my teamate from my boxin camp as well as my roomate that shares opiate addiction in his past. I dont know why ur trying to say I am someone else.

Dude, you guys are weird looking up IP adresses on people here. First off its intrusive and a breach of privacy. I dont think this forum is helping me anymore. You guys are wack.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2012 6:22 am 
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Winningduhepic wrote:
I'm not going to explain myself. Also, take your own advice....If you have a problem PM someone it. Hyprocrits.

Subosaves is my teamate from my boxin camp as well as my roomate that shares opiate addiction in his past. I dont know why ur trying to say I am someone else.

Dude, you guys are weird looking up IP adresses on people here. First off its intrusive and a breach of privacy. I dont think this forum is helping me anymore. You guys are wack.


I totally understand this forum not "helping" you anymore. The kind of help you need only comes from Psychiatrists.

You are full of shit that this is your "teammate" or roommate. I have emails from you where you say you just bought a house and live alone. You also replied to me on my "eastern pa" thread as your other personality "suboxsaves". You mentioned it being a four hour drive to allegheny from where i live. I was not specific about where i live except in emails to you. How would "suboxsaves" even know that then???? Let me guess....you talked to him about it....and you share an email account too.

This forum is for people who are serious about their recovery. Not people who want to come on here with 3 different screen names and have conversations with themselves. So what is your excuse for Want2endme? Another teammate??? your dog??? Save it. You have been figured out, and we are not idiots.

I really thought you were a decent person and went as far as to defend you on this forum and I am so sorry that I did. Everyone who knows me, knows that I am a nonconfrontational person, and I am nice to everyone on here. It took a lot for me to even type this because I am just not a rude person. But you assuming that we dont know what you are doing tells me that you think we (I) am a stupid asshole. And I am not.

P.S. "wack" is spelled "whack" when using ghetto slang....you should have had suboxsaves type it for you....hes fluent....

_________________
"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2012 11:37 pm 
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[marq=right]*****LIKE*****[/marq]

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anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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