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PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 10:26 am 
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Congrats KS, three weeks is huge, you might notice some major positive changes in energy level and motivation in coming days, a number of jumpers (me incld), got that during week 4.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 1:51 pm 
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Day 22, it is definitely a roller coaster ride some times, couldn't sleep that well last night and only got about 4 hours. Of course this does not help the motivation today much, and feel pretty tired and a little sore with a slight headache. It's still pretty early, so I must push to get out and do something including getting to gym.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 1:52 pm 
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Oh and thanks JI , could use that energy boost, but better late than never.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 9:53 pm 
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All in all, just kind of an average day. Didn't feel good or bad, just kinda blah. Got out for an hour hike with the wife, but didn't get anything else done, oh well, il be rested for a good start tomorrow. If sleep comes that is.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 4:09 am 
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Its kind of strange how the sleep comes back... For me its not like one night I just slept 8 hrs straight and it was over. I sleep for around 2-4hrs straight and wake up still. The main difference is I don't feel like I wanna bash my legs against the wall anymore and I usually can get back to sleep pretty easily. Even 2 months later I still end up taking a shower in the middle of the night to help me relax and get back to sleep.

All that being said I feel much better now during the day then when I was on subs. I used to sleep a ton and still feel tired all the time, but now even though I usually sleep 6 or 7 hrs total I feel great all day.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 5:57 pm 
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Got kinda slow start this morning, did get about 6 hours of sleep last night, so that is good . Just kinda tired today, but did get out for bike ride and to the gym so feel a little better. Day 23 today I believe.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 6:01 pm 
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I can def relate to what u are saying TikiS, I can't remember the last time I got 8 hours solid sleep, but at least now when I wake up in middle of night , I know there is a chance I'll get back to sleep for a few more hours, which def did not happen during the first two weeks.

I'm realistically looking at 3 to 6 months before things are back to somewhat normalcy I hope.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 1:02 am 
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Kind of a late post, but day 24 is down. Just another neutral day I would say, I did get about 6 1/2 hrs sleep last night, and I am starting to stress sleep less now. I'm just takin one day at a time, and did get all the things I wanted to accomplish today, gym and bike ride. Mood today was ok, not really depressed, but initially was looking forward to daily improvements, and now once again realize it will be weekly improvements most likely. Only real complaints are lack of motivation and energy.

I guess I was on subs so many years, I didn't realize or forgot how much it was probably influencing my mood/emotions. While on subs I was content going to work, coming home and just existing, strange but I was pretty content with that. Now that I'm off, I want more than to just exist, but currently am lacking the motivation/energy and am forcing myself to get out and do extra things, hoping it is an investment in myself for the future as far as my well being. I'm sure it will pay off, it's just hard to make those deposits sometimes in yourself. :? But definitely in a better place than 3 weeks ago, so that is good. I really appreciate the support and feedback from this site, and once again encourage people reading this if u are ready to get off subs, it can be done.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 5:20 pm 
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Day 25, getting close to a month, wow. Once again slept over 6 hours last night, so I am no stressing sleep really anymore. Is it as much sleep as I want, no, but not terrible now. Got started on the exercise earlier this morning, and definitely made me feel better, and had a little more energy today. Still have to get to the gym, but wife will go with if I wait till after 6, so that's a good procrastination point. Till next update , hope all of u have a good day.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 8:26 pm 
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The motivation and energy come back, but it takes a while for many of us to get there. I will say this, though, opiates always charged me up. They put me past 100%. As my wd progressed and I continued to get better and better, I came to the realization that getting past 100% again is a bit more difficult. On opiates, you just pop a pill (but also ruin your life) to get past 100%, off opiates, it takes time for the brain to heal AND a decent amount of effort (exercise, music, a beloved hobby, etc) to get to and past 100%.

I guess my point is this; keep being patient with yourself, but keep pushing, too.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 9:08 pm 
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I hear you Romeo, I also was charged with energy with opiates. I didn't notice it as much with subs, until now when I am not taking it, more with the stronger SAO's. I was on subs so long I didn't even realize they were doing anything. I really didn't have many side effects from the meds, so I guess I am going on faith that things will get better and clearer as time progresses.

Actually thinking back, today was actually not to bad of a day, I had one of a handful of good workouts at the gym, and an ok cardio workout on the bike. All in all not to much to complain about today. Thanks for the support and feedback.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 5:19 pm 
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Hi KS, your energy levels should steadily pickup, especially if you are exercising.

When I was starting to come off Methadone 9 months, a blood test showed that I had a very low Testerone level, below 'Low Normal.' It's something to check out if you continue to experience low energy. I take a supplement, and I think it's makes a diff.

-- ji

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2014 6:07 pm 
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Thanks JI, I did get my test level tested and it was pretty low, under 200 about 8 months ago. My sub doc actually put me on androgel and after a month it was in the 500's so it definitely worked. Now that I am off subs, I will slowly taper off the gel, and have scripts for lower strength as needed.

Actually for the last three days, my gym workouts are going pretty well, and once I get started I have energy, it's just the motivation to get there that's killing me. So I guess things are starting to improve, but u know being an addict and all patience is not my strong point. LOL :lol:


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 9:00 pm 
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Day 27, nothing much to report, I'm feeling ok. At too much sugar last night and this morning, dang cravings, it definitely crashed my energy today. I learned eating about 10 cookies and large stack of pancakes w/liberal syrup and butter is not helping things. Got out and did some cardio today, but took day off from gym. Gonna try and tighten up the diet starting tomorrow. Till next post, hope everyone is well and has a good holiday weekend.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2014 9:28 pm 
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WHAT?!?!!? 10 cookies and a stack of pancakes with syrup ain't good for you? Tell me it ain't so!! :lol:

You sound like me with my sugar cravings. We ordered pizza from Papa John's last week and got that cookie thing, too. Ummm.....errrrr.....ahhhhh.......I ate the whole cookie thing myself before my wife or daughter got any. They were quite miffed, but it was so yummy!!! Their poor faces were priceless when they had realized what I did. HAHAHA!!!

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 4:32 pm 
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Day 28 today, 4 weeks woohoo! I got good sleep last night, and something new happened today after the gym workout. I felt good and normal. I think the W/D armor is starting to break down, and hopefully I will experience more and longer periods of "normalcy."

Romeo, I to went to a pizza joint Papa Murpheys, and got the take and bake chocolate chip cookies. I made them and hour later wife wanted one. I told her that was not going to be possible as I ate them all LOL. So I hear you. It's strange how I am getting really strong sugar cravings, but after binging I really do feel like crap and no energy. I'm not diabetic either. Oh well, I'm at least starting to feel better.

Hope everyone is having a safe and good weekend.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 5:01 pm 
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Hey there KittySpot! Congrats on 28 days! Wow! :D

I'm happy for you that you started feeling "normal" again after working out! You'll definitely still be improving as time passes...and the further into this process, I've noticed that the days do start adding up much more quickly, which is good news, right? I think I'm on day 65 or something like that now..

I worked out pretty hard today and my energy in the mornings is fairly normal now, but still feeling a little draggy in the afternoon...and I think I'm starting to get a "bit" of the endorphin rush during vigorous exercise, but still no where near the true runner's high I have experienced in the past.

Tomorrow and Monday I'm doing back to back classes- "boot camp" (intense cardio) followed by a weights class...I'm planning on giving it my all, and will let you know (But first I'll probably scream it from the rooftops- lol) if/ when I achieve that runners' high....I'm kind of "waiting" for that moment as a "sign" that my brain has really healed, KWIM? Until then though, I'm a "tiny" bit worried that my brain will never be healthy in the way it was before my habit....but not giving up hope yet!!! :D

Congrats again! You deserve another cookie! (but you should probably get one for your wife too, don't you think? :wink: )
BF

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 6:33 pm 
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Thanks BF, yeah I really do look forward to the day I get back that true runners high feeling. I didn't used to get it in the gym as much as longer hard cardio bike rides. When I used to get the feeling, I remember it would last for hours after the workout was over.

I too occasionally worry that it won't come back due to brain damage/changes etc. one theory that is out there is that since sub is a partial agonist/antagonist that it changes receptors over time to adapt to the non occurring in nature opiate. But as we know everyone has a theory/opinion on buprenorphine, and I am choosing to believe that time will heal. I just think it is going to take longer than an impatient addict like myself wants.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 8:14 pm 
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Kittyspot70 wrote:
Thanks BF, yeah I really do look forward to the day I get back that true runners high feeling. I didn't used to get it in the gym as much as longer hard cardio bike rides. When I used to get the feeling, I remember it would last for hours after the workout was over.

I too occasionally worry that it won't come back due to brain damage/changes etc. one theory that is out there is that since sub is a partial agonist/antagonist that it changes receptors over time to adapt to the non occurring in nature opiate. But as we know everyone has a theory/opinion on buprenorphine, and I am choosing to believe that time will heal. I just think it is going to take longer than an impatient addict like myself wants.


Yowch!^^^^ Whose theory is this? A reliable source? I almost don't want to know....it is actually a question I have been avoiding researching....kind of sticking my head in the sand and hoping for the best, you know?

Yes, the true "runners high" lasts for at least a few hours after the workout..I used to run or do some type of cardio every morning and then just feel great throughout the day...I guess this could also be considered an addiction, but at least it is a healthy one, right? One time near the end of my taper I ran really hard and did experience a "whoosh" of good feeling, but it did not last very long...I was excited though because for sure I thought (and still think) it was a sign of brain healing, at least a little bit...but maybe it was just a "whoosh" of suboxone hitting my receptors? Well...who knows for sure.....all we can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other...and it is hard to evaluate your own brain with your own brain, right? lol

I'd like to hear from others who were on subs for as long as I was and have successfully quit for a year or so....I wonder how their brains are doing today and if they are back to "normal" exactly how long that took for them.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 30, 2014 9:34 pm 
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Hey Kitty, this may not be the best advice I've ever given on this forum, but just like you, when I'd binge on sweets, I'd feel crappy an hour or so later. My solution, I binge right before bed and sleep right through the "crappy and no energy" feelings. Genius, eh? :wink: (and no, the sweets don't keep me up at all. If anything, I sleep better. Go figure)

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