It's mid afternoon , and I was able to stay out of the house today pretty much all day. As the day is wearing on, I don't feel quite as well as this morning, as I keep getting this aching in my legs. Keep taking Advil, and aching comes back every 5 to 6 hours as Advil wears off. Frustrating. Hopefully will go away tonight. I really need sleep tonight, I envy my cat who sleeps all day, even when sitting up, must be nice.

Aahhh, its frikin 3am and wide awake I fell asleep pretty good around 11 to 2:30 or so then bam, wide awake. With the exception of some late evening anxiety and leg aches, this damn insomnia is all that seems to be really lingering. But it's gonna kill me if it keeps up , we'll not really but seems like it.

Hey Kittyspot- glad you got "some" sleep.Yes, the insomnia sucks but as you said it will not really kill you (but I hear that drugs can, right?). You are on the right track, and insomnia is just part of the process. It helped me a bit to just "accept" for awhile that 2 or 3am was just my "regular" wake up time for awhile and use that quiet time in the early mornings to meditate, catch up on the forum, sit outside and watch the sun rise...count my blessings that I was not in full wdls anymore...KWIM?
Hopefully you can catch a "catnap" sometime today!
BF

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"BE the change that you wish to see in the world"

Mahatma Gandhi

Thanks BF for the thoughts, I read your forum before jumping off and saw u definitely had some of the same sleep issues for several weeks. As you know it's just so frustrating, especially when trying to work out and get healthy. I am never sure if my low energy is w/d's, paws or sleep deprivation. Probably a combo.

For many, sleep is one of the last things to return to normal. If you look at the big picture, you're really only a couple of weeks off opiates and the sleep you are getting is pretty good measured by some others whose sleep was still beyond shit at the point you're at. I know that's little consolation, but it's all I've got, Bud.

Something that helped provide me with hope during my wd was looking back. Anytime I looked back a week or so, I'd always realize how much farther ahead of the game I was than the previous week. It always reminded me that I was getting better and that helped me keep my head in the game instead of throwing in the towel.

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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!

Your def right Romeo, I'm just gonna as they say fake it till I make it. Went on a later mt bike ride today so feel better at 6 pm now then I usually do. Like I said earlier time to start taking it week by week instead of day by day. Wife did say I seemed much better than 2 weeks ago and a little better than last weekend so I guess it's happening. Thx

Holy crap, it actually happened, I slept pretty well from 11pm till 5am. 6 whole not too tossing and turning hours of sleep, woohoo. I guess going on a later butt kicking training mt bike ride up hills later last afternoon made a difference. Till next update.

Oh yeah it's day 16, I'm starting to not count or remember what day it is now off suboxone. In sum, while not wanting to jinx anything, I feel pretty good today, and I appreciate that more than I can say.

Yup, you just screwed yourself hard. Now the shit's gonna hit the fan. LOL!!! Just Kidding!!

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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!

Good stuff KS, I didn't stop counting until I was up into the day 20's or 30's (can't remember). You should definitely past the worst. I got a couple 'boomerang' days for symptoms even further along but very minor stuff.

FYI I tried some new vegetarian dishes yesterday (made by a friend), a quinoa-kale-bean sauté (with a killer Argentinian pesto-like sauce), followed by a pureed chia-and-fresh fruit pudding for desert. I wouldn't have touched this sort of food with a barge pole a month ago, but I actually enjoyed it a lot. But. I. Still. Will. Not. Eat. Tofu.

-- ji

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher

OK Johnny, I almost lost all respect for you until you insisted you wouldn't eat tofu....my man!!!

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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!

Got to the gym today after an easy mt bike ride and I am officially sore on every muscle now as I have hit everything over the last 4 days.

jI, I'm definitely not a vegetarian, but in the last year have enjoyed a lot more veggies and grains especially the kale and quinoa that u mentioned. Trying to do the whole food diet and stay away from the processed crap that does taste so good. I'm over 40 now so mortality is rearing its ugly head. I def feel much better when I am eating clean, but do cheat and enjoy a good BBQ night occasionally.

Not feeling to bad today, but energy is dropping a little now that it's early evening. Hopefully sleep will come as it did last night. Better not stress it or it won't happen. Thanks all.

Hi KS, happy Day 17.

I don't especially want to be a vegetarian, but if it might improve my health, I'm willing to try it. So far, so good, but I'm going to have a long look on my face for awhile every time I walk by the gourmet burger place around the corner from where I work.

I'm also happy to not support the meat industry (just like I was very happy to not support the tobacco industry any longer when I switched fro cigarettes to e-cigs). Not a strong conscious moral choice (I tend to avoid them and just go with my intuition instead); just something that seems like the right thing for me to do. But I envy you your BBQ nights.

Where do you shop for quinoa btw? I have no idea where to find it.

Have a great day.

-- ji

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher

Morning all, it's day 17, I did get about 6 hours of semi broken sleep for the second night. Woohoo, but I don't know why this morning I have very little energy, thought after two nights of sleep I'd be rearing to go, not the case, boohoo.

To JI, I get my quinoa mainly in the bulk food section of winco foods. I'm at U.S. west coast however and I know your up in Toronto. They have several varieties however such as red, black etc. you should however be able to find at most general grocery stores I would hope, good luck finding.

I'm gonna have to use some caffeine this morning to get out of the house and get going, so much for cutting down. LOL.

Just got back from decent training bike ride, started off kinda slow, hit a pretty good pace for about an hour, then bonked on last 1/2 hour due to low blood sugar I think. That will teach me to eat something before heading out. I still gotta get motivated to get to gym later this afternoon. Feel ok today so far, just kinda tired and blah, but not terrible.

Man, it's almost 5 pm and still sitting unmotivated in house and haven't got to gym yet. JI , it must be that damn w/d boomerang hitting me in the ass today. Hopefully it will fly away and not return anytime soon. I'm getting huge cravings for junk food today, don't know what's up but I WANT CRAPPY FOR ME FOOD, AND DONT WORRY TOFU WILL NOT SATISFY. Who knows what's up with that, I've already eaten half bag of chips and salsa. Now I have to go to gym tonight.

Hi KS, the boomerangs pass quickly, and if you can bike and go to the gym, sounds like ur doing well.

There were nights when I stuffed my face w/ junk food, brought much peace of mind.

I bought quinoa, how do you cook this sh*t?

-- ji

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher

Hey JI, I usually cook my quinoa in a rice cooker, I think it's like 2 cups water to one cup quinoa. Quinoa really has no flavor, but absorbs flavor real well. It's a great low glycemic carb for lifting, and is way better than white rice or pasta. It goes well with strong flavors ie peppers or garlic pesto etc. there are tons of recipes on the web. Happy cooking.

P.S., I was lazy tonight and never made it to gym, I did get out with wife at least for a walk near the lake by my residence. Hopefully sleep comes for the third night in row, fingers crossed.

Morning all, it's day 18. I did get about 6 hours of sleep, I definitely have lots of weird dreams though. Have a mild headache this morning, but nothing too terrible.

I guess the purpose of this now is to help people who are thinking of getting off suboxone know that it can be done. I am definitely out of the acute w/d stage and all in all don't feel too bad.

I guess in retrospect here are a couple things that I remembers that worked and didn't work for me, especially for the first 10 days or so where times were sucking ass for lack of better words.

First and foremost for me at least, I must have no suboxone in my possession or any easy way to obtain it. During the first 10 days or so if I had any subs in my possession, I would have broken down and taken them. PERIOD. I am so glad that I hadn't hidden any or any of that addict thinking of some back up plan of getting them set in place. The next thing for me was definitely getting out of the house and exercising . Yes it sucked, many times it really sucked, but I can't think of a time where I didn't get back to the house and not feel better.

Hopefully this helps a little to someone who is contemplating jumping off to know it can be done, and I am a W/D wimp by the way. Thanks.

All good stuff! I too was a wd wimp but stayed the course and it's now about 85 days sub free for me. I feel fantastic!