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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:56 pm 
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Babydoll,

You are NOT a failure! You're suffering from the disease of addiction.

And, please don't feel as though you've let us down.
We are here to help one-another.......not to judge.

Look, anyone whom wants recovery bad enough......"gets there".........in they're own time...............when they are ready!

You came onto this site and shared with us how you are doing. That in itself......sais ALOT!

It sais, YOU DON'T WANNA KEEP LIVING HOW YOU'VE BEEN LIVING!! You should be proud of yourself for being honest. Instead of staying in secrecy, and isolation, and just continuing to use.......YOU REACHED OUT FOR HELP!

I believe in you Babydoll! I feel confidant that you'll find your way into recovery and the happy life you dream of!

Good Luck. Please continue to post Babydoll. We're ALL here for you!


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 4:49 am 
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Marie just took the words right out of my mouth babydoll!! She's so right, recovery comes to each and every one of us in its own unique way.

I've fallen flat on my face several times now, but I keep getting up, shaking myself off and giving recovery another go. Is it difficult to keep falling and to feel like a royal screw up, yep.....but I'll be damned if I stay down or give up.....I am NOT giving up and I don't think you're giving up either.

One day at a time,

The flip flop dude (BTW, I finally mastered my flip flops.....took forever, but I did it!!)

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 Post subject: Thanks Marie n Romeo
PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 7:15 am 
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I have tears in my eyes but I am also smiling _ thank you
One day at a time!
Normally I look forward to paydays - My other half gets paid on Tuesday and I get paid on Friday this week, but I am dreading it this time cos I don't want us ending up doing the inevitable. It's hard enough trying to keep myself focused but as soon as he mentions getting some, i am there. And don't think it it doesn't happen the other way around too. As i am just as bad when he is trying to keep focused and then i mention getting some and it makes him give in.
OK I will stop trying to beet myself up now and be positive.
Thanks again and i will keep posting
xx


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 4:50 pm 
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We've done all the housework, and washing/ironing between us, AND been for a jog/run/brisk walk! Feeling much better with myslef. Looking foward to a good night's sleep and not waking up dope-sick!! God that's the worst feeling in the world isn't is? - waking up feeling like a total bag of shite. urgh.

Please please don't let us give in on payday! Need to go out for a meal or go to the cinema instead - anything but 'that'. It's wierd because i am not used to doing 'normal' things in my leisure time. It's like I need to learn how to live again. Gonna go have a look what's showing at the Cinema this week - get something planned and to look forward to.

will let you know what happen's. Fingers crossed.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:02 pm 
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That's a good point you bring up about "learning how to live again." You're so right, that is what we have to do. For years and years, we became expert drug users. Everything in our lives revolved around getting and doing drugs. Our lives, for the most part, had become nothing more than getting and using drugs. Drugs consumed our every thought.

Now, we're trying to break free of that shit by ONLY not doing drugs.....truth is, quitting drugs is only one component of staying clean. Recovery involves doing something differently, living a new life. A life that is NOT conducive to drug use. Bottom line, we have to change Babydoll......and change SUCKS!!!

I'm so glad to see you posting again. It's evident that you have some recovery knowledge, now you need to get the rubber to hit the road by not only thinking of what you should be doing, but doing what you should be doing.

Look, if recovery were simple, every drug addict in the world would be clean.....recovery is a challenge, but you can do it.

Cheerio (that is what you Brits say, isn't it?) LOL

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 Post subject: Re: Thanks Marie n Romeo
PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:07 pm 
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Babydoll wrote:
but I am dreading it this time cos I don't want us ending up doing the inevitable.


Why make it inevitable if you don't want to do it?

It's so typical of this bastard addiction thing to play these games and make you feel like you have no choice in the matter. There is always choice! It just gets totally obscured by the desire to use.

If you ever feel like you have no choice, that using is inevitable... then call someone up and have them whack you with a wet ocean trout. Works every time.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 2:58 am 
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Babydoll'. more/more/suboxone-less other shit that makes you feel like shit in the morning, and draaaaags on for day's'.
the draaaaag on is sorta like a small paws, but more physical than mental. i just got back on the forum' because i lost my password or some one was trying to steel it.
i was in your place a little and all most gave up. and then my pass word came up just in time. but i started geting manic and needed some good shit but did not get it. Babydoll' when your planing the whole week to use before pay ? please force your self to use suboxone'. and then
the subs will win out 'in the long run.

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