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PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 5:46 pm 
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Hello all, I'm new here and this is my first post. I have been creeping around for a while now though. I just don't know how often anybody gets on here anymore. Anyways....For the past few months I have gotten myself into trouble with my dosing. It started off when the office made a mistake and shorted me 2 days. When I got my next script I took more than I should have and continued to for a few more days. I really can't explain why, or don't have a good excuse at least. Well that just got me into a bad routine. Basically I run out at the end of the month early, freak out and make what I have last (take waaaay less than I am prescribed to get by, and skip days...or call the office with an excuse to get more). Well here I am again and this it the 3rd or 4th month I've done this, and I have 10 days and 5 strips left. I am suppose to take 1 and 1/2 a day. So I've began the process of cutting way down and obviously it's completely taken over my mind. I can't call the doctor again because at this point I have to be risking getting kicked or something. I also don't know how I'm going to get thru the next 10 days with my sanity intact. Trust me...at this point I'm NOT making this mistake anymore. It's the stupidest thing. It does NOTHING to take more. I really don't know what is wrong with me and am severely angry with myself. Any help or advice? What I can do to make it thru the next 10 days? Anybody else been thru this? Thank you for reading.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 8:41 pm 
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There aren't many of us who haven't been in your shoes. Sometimes that addict behavior, which doesn't even make sense in the context of taking sub, just rears its ugly head. It would be awesome if you could give some thought to the patterns and triggers that may have gotten you into this situation. If you can recognize where the behaviors are coming from, you might be able to short circuit the pattern.

Do you have a trusted friend or family member who could dole out your sub to you until you get back into a good pattern? That would definitely be the route I would go. I can tell that you are really resolved not to let this happen again, but sometimes we need a helping hand.

I hope you can figure out something that works well for you!

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:12 pm 
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Hi mizzme,

We're happy to have you as a member here. As you've seen, this forum has a wealth of information at your finger tips.

But now to your problem. Just like Amy said, most of us (me too) have taken too many and had to taper down so to not go into w/d's. Are you getting the 8 mg film or the 2? If it's the 8 then you might get lucky and not suffer any ill effects. The math is simple. Cut them in half and that's all you get. 4 mg's will keep you right at or above the ceiling effect. Whether or not your system can tolerate such a large decrease only time will tell.

If you have been taking more than prescribed then you have a lot built up in your body. You might even be able to skip a day or two w/o any problems. For some reason I kind of doubt you will try that. You're having a hard enough time as it is. So just figure on half a film strip and you'll be fine. You will learn how to not take more than prescribed at some point. This may be the solution to help you stop abusing your Sub. I know, it doesn't do anything! I beat myself up whenever I did that. It always felt like I wasted a good strip.

Stick around and keep us in the loop. You will get through this!

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:44 pm 
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Thank you for the responses :) Well it's nice to know that I'm not the only one that has tripped a little bit. Knowing you're not alone is a big deal, so thanks for the support. I def. am not getting myself into this again! I do get the 8 mg strips and was planning on taking half a day. I have actually considered skipping days here and there just to make it easier too. I'm actually going to try skipping tomorrow and see how that goes. It's always my mind that gets me....it's getting past that non-stop thinking about it. I hope that's all it is though and I don't get anything physical going on. Another problem I got myself into is dosing multiple times thru the day as opposed to twice like I should be. So knowing when to take the halve is what is tricky...but wish me luck! ;) Thanks again! I will let you know how I'm doing and if I can pull thru the whole day tomorrow :)


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:47 pm 
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Oh..and I forgot.....thank your for the advice on thinking what my triggers where for this and the idea to have someone dole them out to me. I'm going to talk to my husband and have him start doing that next month. As much as I know I'm not getting into this again...I don't even want to risk it.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:49 pm 
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I agree with Rule,

take 4mg a day and you should be fine. Put that 4mg in and hold.it in your mouth for an hour. You will get maximum absorption and shoul feel ok.

Dont beat yourself up about this and use it as a learning opportunity.

Try to do something else when the urge comes to take more sub. Call a friend, take a walk, anything. After a while the urge will pass. This is why I need other recovery stuff to learn and do because just taking sub is not a cure. Are you in any type of treatment/AA/NA? Some of that stuff is helpful.

Good luck! You can totally make it through the next 10 days!


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 2:25 am 
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Hi MM and welcome to the forum.

Oh yes your are not alone in taking more..I think all of us have done that in the beginning...We see we have so many
pills and just plan to do it one or two days which turn into weeks...I really had a hard time with this in the beginning.
I told my husband and he bought a safe and has the key on his keychain....He doles out my dose every morning.

He would not give me extra if I begged and begged for it. This is how I solved my problem...and it feels so good
to know I have enough for the entire month. I have even cut down from 16 to 6mg and am saving up the rest. I worry
about everythng..like what if my sub Dr. got run over by a mack truck???? What the hell would I do?? Now at least
I have enough to find another Dr.

Do my suggestion to you is to let your husband give it out to you and hide it where you can't find it...
Goof luck!!

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 7:22 am 
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It's not just people starting out who make mistakes...I also, a 5-year veteran on Suboxone...have a post going right now about being short. Granted, taking them myself isn't the reason I'm short...but I still did something I shouldn't..and fell into some addict behavior (remember that old adage, addicts stick together??)....And I loaned out some of my meds..enough to cut me short, to a "friend". Now the friend went and got cut-off, from 90/month to NOTHING...and can't pay me back. So...instead, I have to make it through 2 more days, until Monday evening at 5pm when my next appt is for Sub.

I know it isn't nearly as long as 10 days...but the closer the time gets, and the less I have, the more it seems like hell -- when it really isn't. I'm staring at the last 2 subs I have right now..trying to decide if I want to open one and start cutting on it...or wait.
Am I feeling anything physical...NO. Will my brain try to tell that I am? You betcha!
So the key here is knowing how long to wait before taking it...and it's really just some simple math...

I took a "piece" of a strip...probably around 3am...when my daughter woke me up crying. I don't take halves, or even quarters. I bet my dosing is 1mg at a time or so, because I normally cut a film into 6 pieces...so a hair over 1mg at a time.
Taking an entire 2 films in 24hrs that way says that I should be ok for at LEAST one day, with enough built up in my system to do me. So now the test begins, and I have to occupy my mind to keep from running out NOW..versus running out Monday.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:00 am 
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Hey MizzMe,

I just wanted to chime in here because I have been through EXACTLY what you described. I did it month after month, and the pattern was almost impossible to stop for me. The WD at the end of every month wasn't enough to stop me, neither was my doctor threatening to kick me out of his program. I failed three drug screens during the year of treatment because I didn't have enough sub in my system. The last time it happened I ran out a full week early and went through excrutiating WD for the whole week. I wasn't going to go back to the doctor because he had warned me after the 2nd time that he wouldn't keep me in the program if I ran out early again. But after the hell week I decided to give it a shot, the worst he could do was tell me to leave right? Well, I went in WITH my husband and he took pity on me. But I knew then that I was not going to get away with it again. I gave my subs to my husband and he has had them ever since. For some reason we addicts tend to have a disconnect when it comes to thinking about the consequences of our actions. Instant gratification, no matter how small, is much more important than long term rational thinking. Really, give it a try. After a month of breaking that cycle it is MUCH easier. It's just a habit that you haven't broken yet, and you need to get control of it now.

Just a tip...be honest with yourself when you talk to your husband about keeping them for you. If you are like me, you might be tempted to go search out his hiding spots. If you think that might be a problem then come up with a solution in a moment of clear thinking, BEFORE the temptation is too strong to ignore. If you start thinking about it, say something to him when the thought first comes up and deal with it right then. That will get that thought out of your head much more quickly and allow you to return back to sane thinking before you shoot yourself in the foot.

These are HARD LEARNED lessons. But it comes, in time. Some sooner than others. I think I was a bit stubborn and hard headed about it. But it finally sank in...somewhere along the line!

Good luck!


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 12:50 pm 
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Wow! I didn't realize how comforting it would be to hear other's stories and know that I'm not alone in this. I thank you all sooo much for that :) I don't know what got me to finally break down and post this month, but for the past 3 or 4 months I've contemplated posting, just didn't do it. I'm so glad that I finally did. I don't have anybody to talk to about this in real life that actually has been thru it. I don't attend AA (just a personal choice, not knocking it in any way) or any other meetings. I have an awesome husband who is supportive and all, but he is also very introverted and trusts that I can handle this alone (he has more faith in me than he really should at this point). I told him when I ran out a couple months ago, then again the next month....but his reaction was enough for me to not want to tell him again this month. I don't want to see that disappointment. I also in the midst of this dilemma forgot that TODAY is my 10 year anniversary. My mind has been so caught up in this, it's literally all I've thought about for the past few days. I was going to skip today and not take anything....and try really hard to skip tomorrow as well, but now I don't if I should skip today and be THAT person on our anniversary :( We aren't doing anything today to celebrate because bills where high this month and we are broke, so it's really just going to be another day. I was thinking maybe in a couple of weeks surprising him with a make-up anniversary date or something....I don't know. Also, next weekend our little town is having it's annual festival...it's a big deal around here. And of course I'm already thinking about how I'm going to feel. This is going to be a long week. I wish I had things to keep me occupied and my mind off of it....but I live in a small town and there isn't much to do around here and I don't have any friends around here either. God, I seriously sound like a huge downer right now. But thank you for all the responses...they are appreciated very much :) QHORSE- what you explained, it's me almost to a T. Thankfully I don't think my doc measures how much is in my system at my visits, I could be wrong about that though...they've never said anything. But I've also called them with excuses the past few months so maybe that's why they didn't say anything. You're right about the husbands hiding spots too...I prob would go searching for them...so thank you for the tips on that! Actually you right about most everything you said...the instant gratification...everything. JONATHAN- I know exactly how you feel with the staring at your strips thing. I've counted my numerous times and have even wrote down a plan on how many to take on what days. I've revised that many many times already. And you hit the nail head on when you said your brain will make you think you are feeling something physical. I'm there today. I keep reminding myself it's all in my head. But I have faith in you that you will pull thru the next 2 days no problem :) SLIPPER- That's awesome that you've gotten to a point where you have extras just in case. I really hope that at some point I can do the same. First thing's first though....get out of this bad habit of mine.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 2:32 pm 
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Little by little, you are beginning to see how addiction works against us and how many of our brains do exactly the same thinking. It is also highly rewarding to identify with other addicts so you don't feel so alone.

Are you taking Sub for pain? I only ask because the medication is really meant to be taken once a day. Not that twice a day will do any harm, it is because we addicts used to look forward to our evening dose and taking Sub in its place is not breaking bad habits. That was the hardest thing for me to do in the beginning. Going down to dosing once per day. You can do it, it just takes a few weeks to get it out of your head expecting something to make you feel better. I just traded it for a nice ice tea or coffee, or whatever reward you prefer. Then again, if your doctor told you to then go right ahead. It's just something for you to think about. And 4 mg's is plenty enough to stop cravings and withdrawals taken once per day. I have a good feeling about you on this one. You'll do fine with 4, trust me. Tell your brain to shut up and then get occupied with something else so you don't think about it. This will be the last time you'll run out early if you take the suggestions of our members.

Jonathanm1978, I am surprised you haven't said it yet. "No good deed goes unpunished". You're a decent person who cares about your friends and tried to help her out. Nothing wrong with that until it turns around and bites you in the arse! I would have probably done the same thing as you. There is another saying. "Some good always comes out of a bad situation", or something like that. Look and see what good came out of it. A learning experience perhaps? Finally seeing a friend in their true colors? Just wanted to comment on that. I didn't on your thread.

You hang in there mizzme!

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 3:27 pm 
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No I don't take it for pain. I've been on it for a year now after being hooked on painkillers (vicodin, percs, methadone, oxy...whatever I could get at the time) for about 10 years. Sub has been a Godsend for me and now I'm kicking myself for abusing it and turning it into something bad. I was fine on it for the first 9 months or so...then started taking more than I really needed after my place of employment closed their doors and went out of business. I got bored and had too much time to think. Plus I still haven't found a new job and things are tight...so I'm just in general angry with myself about a lot of things. I'm going to get back on track though.....no doubt about that. Just need to stop screwing around and pretending everything is fine.

As far as dosing twice a day, that is how the doc started me off and he just never changed it. Actually, he switched me over to a different doc in his practice without telling me after seeing me for 2 or 3 months. The guy he switched me to is a joke. You can tell he doesn't care and is just there to take your money ($200 a month, out of pocket, they don't touch insurance). He asks me the same questions every month, I give the same answers, then 3 min later I'm gone. One time I had a question about the subs (don't remember exactly what it was) and he actually pulled his phone out to google it. I told him nevermind. Then another time he asked me a simple math problem (trying to figure out how many to give me for the month) because he couldn't figure it out. I had to do the math for him :/
So last month I finally saw the original doctor (after so many times of me running out I suppose, they decided to bring out the big dog?) and he said to maybe ask my doctor for the pills instead of strips. He said that because I told him the reason I ran out early was because I produce too much saliva and end up swallowing my meds...then have to take more to make up for it....then run out early. I told him I was going to start taking it once a day from now on too. Except I didn't. So yeah....taking them multiple times a day really is a bad idea for someone trying to get out of an addictive state of mind. But with all that being said...I really don't think I can all the sudden start the once a day dosing yet. I'm going to go to the twice a day, get myself straight and taking the right amount, then worry about taking it once a day. One thing at a time.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:11 pm 
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Rule, you really called it on that..some good will come from this situation...because it's been a hell of a day. I actually had an old friend from school that I ran into, choke to find out, he had Suboxone and gave me 3 of his, no charge after I told him what happened. Then, on top of that, the woman that caused me all this headache sends me a text and said she found me two and would be bringing them tomorrow, so I came up with 5 today, plus the two I had left. Now I have a total of 6 to start tomorrow, two for Saturday, two for Sunday, two for Monday. I guess I made it through the storm this time with minimal impact, but I may not be so lucky next time.....so there won't be a next time for me.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 11:37 am 
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You would feel exactly the same if you were to just take one film a day.

Then you could really stretch it out.

And. Save some up!

It's a good feeling to know that you have tons saved. And. Still only have to take one a day.

Just a thought.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 12:24 pm 
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well
I hope you are doing allright... hang in there.. YOU CAN DO THIS.. okay?

and hopefully learn a lesson...

it took ME running out a few months in a row,, to LEARN, too.... don't know why..

Oh, maybe it's cuz we really ARE ADDICTS!!!!
(that's a joke,,, supposed to be funny)

Anyways,,, here is an old, but GREAT thread,, might be worth you taking the time to look at,, where everyone kinda chimes in on how they got OUT of that "routine" of thinking...

for me,, it just took patience,,, and of course, running out early, "paying" for that with w/d symptoms.. and figuring out I felt EXACTLY THE SAME,,, when I'd take ONE strip a day or three...
oh yeah, ONE MORE THING...
I went back on ADHD meds... and basically figured out I was TRYING to 'medicate' my adhd symptoms, with suboxone.. I get anxiety and some mild OCD symptoms, main cause being adhd.....
well to make a LONG story short,,
after I went back on meds for that.. (was on them as a kid/teenager) then I was able to take LESS SUBOXONE,, without feeling any different.. yes I thought everyone else here was fulla shit, too... but then I experienced it.. I'm hard-headed as they come.. and YOU might be too...

something to think about though.....
do you have another condition you are trying to cover up???
Like anxiety, depression, OCD, bi-polar, I mean the list is INFINITE....
and it's VERY COMMON for "us" addicts to "medicate" mental illness, and become addicts to begin with...
Just a thought for the day......

[marq=right]HOPE I HELPED :wink: :wink: :wink:[/marq]

here's the thread called "Feeling like dosing?"
http://suboxforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=53595

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 2:50 pm 
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Listen to her... She is sooo right.
Don't feel bad or failed because you are an addict... It just comes with this stuff and it happens to us all. Anyone that says they have never taken extra suboxone is full of crap!

So. You're just an addict like the rest of us.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 2:38 pm 
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Amber- It's really weird that you said what you did about maybe having an underlying issue. I honestly have been thinking lately that I do have something going on....I just don't know what. I've always been around people who don't take mental issues seriously, they think it's something made up. So I haven't went to anybody to talk to and see if maybe I have some other issues that need dealt with. I have however done quite a bit of research online and from all the symptoms listed it would seem that I may have OCD and possibly ADHD. For example, at night (this is going to sound weird) when I lay down, I fidget and fidget and fidget until everything "feels" right. Like the sheet underneath me can't be wrinkled, and even if it's not, if I feel it is I keep adjusting until it feels right. Same with my clothes. I do obsess about things and have high anxiety. I have a weird addiction to chapstick....when I get nervous I have to put it on. I ALWAYS have my chapstick with me, if I realize I don't I start panicking. I know it sounds stupid and weird....but in my mind chapstick is a very serious thing lol. Once I put it on I instantly feel better. Sometimes I have to put it on numerous times before that happens....but whatever. Just typing this out makes me feel like such a damn weirdo. My point is....I need to make an appointment with a mental health specialist. Another thing....during my addiction I got my hands on Adderal (sp?) a few times. When I took it I felt normal. Not high or had super energy like some people say. Just normal. My thoughts would be clearer and not all over the place. And my thoughts slowed down. That's another thing. I can't stop thinking all the time. Think think think. That's all I do. Its like I'm constantly trying to figure something out....I just don't know what. I'm going to print this out and take it with me when I make an appointment lol. This is the first I've been able to explain it and it sound even relatively close to what I actually feel. Any other time when I've tried to explain it....I can't. I feel like once I get in to talk to someone I'm going to sit there and not know what to say or how to explain how I feel. I know this is prob. all over the place and I apologize. As far as running out early and how I'm doing with that...not good at all. I'm down to 3 strips and I am going to break down and call the doctor tomorrow. I just don't know what I'm going to say yet :( But the lesson is def. learned! No denying that! After my next appointment I am giving my strips to my husband so he can give me what I'm suppose to take every day and no more than that. I think I'm going to get a safe too and give him the key because I prob. would break him down enough to give me an extra here and there if I get weak. As much as I know that I won't put myself thru this again, and how stupid it is to begin with because taking more is pointless.....I don't trust myself just yet. All I know is that I have a LOT of self-examining to do. And a lot of work to do still. Thanks for reading my rambling.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 3:30 pm 
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Hey Mizz,

Don't apologize. You are only going through what most, if not all of us here have gone through in the past. Try to get your mind off how you are feeling. Try some music. Even if you just hook up the ipod and sit on the couch with some soothing tunes it usually helps. Or try blasting some kick ass rock and get up and start cleaning or something. You have to get out of your head for a bit, and I bet you will feel better in a few minutes.

Just in case, don't take extra of your subs today or tomorrow morning before you get in to the doctor. You don't want to assume that he's going to give you some more and then wind up running out. When is your actual appointment? 3 strips should be enough to get you through until Friday or Saturday if you can take only 4mg per day. Hang in there.

Let us know what the doctor says when you go K?


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 7:00 pm 
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My appointment isn't until the 18th of this month :( Yeahhh....I really screwed up this time. I don't see any way possible of making it thru this week when I can't even handle the dramatic drop already. I've managed to lower down to 4mg a day and I'm not doing well. I have no energy, I'm shaky, my anxiety is very high, my stomach is non-stop upset, my muscles are starting to put up a fight, and I have a heart condition where anxiety and stress....and w/d cause my heartrate to increase....so my heartrate is up as well. I also have cold sweats going on. Oh...and I'm being short with people at home and feel depressed. I don't know how much of this is all a result of thinking about it....but I can say for certain that I'm def feeling w/d's. I'm trying to do what I can to keep my mind off it, but it's next to impossible for me :( I'm thinking when I do call tomorrow (because at this point it's all I have keeping me sane, knowing there's a chance....albeit small) I'm going to ask to try the suboxone tablets instead of the strips for a week. Then by the time my next appointment comes I will know if they work any better for me. Reason being is because my doc suggested I could try the tabs last month. I don't know if they will call any tabs in for me or not. I don't know exactly what I'm going to say yet....but I will most likely tell them that I'm still having a hard time with excess saliva and will be short again this month. But this is the last month it will be a problem because saliva or not, I won't be taking any more than prescribed. No matter what. I don't know if it will work...but I'm praying it will. Thank you sooooo much for checking in on me.....and for the helping words, they are very much appreciated. I haven't told my husband what is going on, but he has to know something is wrong. I just don't know if he realizes what. I don't want to face the disappointment on his face again if I do tell him....so I'm avoiding it.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 7:44 pm 
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LOL...we are so alike.


I'm the QUEEN of avoidance!!!!

And if you have a husband who is generally non-confrontive, that can be a bad mix. I have seen that look so many times I can't count, and I would do almost anything to keep from seeing it. But the thing is, once it's out in the open it's usually over pretty quickly and isn't usually as bad as we think. I'm sure your husband loves you very much and only wants what's best for you. Sometimes it's as hard on them as it is us to avoid talking about the HUGE pink elephant in the room.

You're going to make it through this just fine. I'm praying your doctor calls those extra in for you...the 18th is a bit longer than I thought you were going to have to make it. But, I've done it too. No judgement from me!


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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