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PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 9:24 am 
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Last edited by Eveleivibe on Sun Aug 25, 2013 8:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 17, 2013 9:14 am 
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 5:14 am 
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I'm sorry that you ran out of your anti-depressants early. I know that is probably making your emotions seem out of whack. But are you feeling better now that you got the prescription filled on the 16th? The problem with most anti-depressants is that they take a while to build up in your system to where they are working again. Have you reached that point yet?

Did it make a difference on how you felt when you "binged" on them the previous week? I wouldn't think that anti-depressants worked like that. But did it make you feel better temporarily? It's very addictive thinking to make things better by adding pills to the problem. But did it even work?

I would think that you might benefit by keeping a journal of some kind if you don't already. Try to write down your ideas about what might help you when you're feeling depressed. Perhaps if you had written down that you planned to take a bunch of extra anti-depressants, you would have thought through that idea and seen it out to its logical end. That it might not help and that you would run out too soon. Just a thought.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 7:31 am 
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Last edited by Eveleivibe on Sun Aug 25, 2013 8:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 2:39 pm 
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Hi Evey,

It's not good to run out of anti-depressants. The withdrawal will cause some deep depression and I don't know what else. You need to tell your doctor about this and get some more. Maybe ask for a larger dose so you feel better most all of the time.

I tried to get off of Effexor and failed due to very scary deep dark depression, which I have never had before. The only reason my Dr. put me on it was to taper off of Suboxone. He never told me how addictive it was or I would never have started it.

You posted this a few days ago. Have you got it fixed by now? Are you okay?

rule

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 2:40 pm 
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Evey,

You sound like you're stuck and misunderstanding addiction and the way it works. You are not willing, it seems, to admit that you are an addict. You didn't like that the pharmacy treated you like an addict when you describe yourself like this, "I just have a small problem with codeine."

I want you to know exactly what addiction is. This definition is from the National Institute on Drug Addiction and is congruent with the latest scientific studies on addiction:

"Addiction is defined as a chronic, relapsing brain disease that is characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, despite harmful consequences. It is considered a brain disease because drugs change the brain; they change its structure and how it works. These brain changes can be long lasting and can lead to many harmful, often self-destructive, behaviors."

Do you see anything in that definition that says that addicts are terrible human beings with no morals or self control? In certain humans opiates (and other narcotics) change pathways in the brain dealing with reward, and they inhibit the part of the brain that would usually tell us to STOP! Does this sound like something that should cause addicts shame? There are other factors that make certain people more susceptible to addiction. Addicts often have trauma in their past that has caused their brains to form maladaptive ways of coping, and addicts often have abnormally low serotonin levels. Does it sound like the addicts fault that they had traumatic events happen to them when they were children? Is it fair to ostracize addicts for being born with chemical differences in their brains?

If these differences in our brains caused us to have seizures or muscle atrophy, and therefore, hospitalization, we would be pitied and have fundraisers for research. Unfortunately, the manifestations of addiction that people see are behavioral. And because behavior is seen as regulated by morality and will power, people feel free to judge addicts. Addicts in recovery should be educating the public on what addiction truly is, instead of hiding and living in shame.

Here's what I'm trying to tell you Evey. You are an addict. Your small problem with codeine is called addiction. But I'm also here to tell you that being an addict needn't make you ashamed. It doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a person who has a brain disorder. It doesn't matter that you were found out by your folks and needed help to stop. That doesn't make you bad or weak. It makes you an addict. All the things you are doing right now to be in recovery is hard work. Going against what your brain is telling you is incredibly difficult, and yet here you are doing just that! You are a hero!

I don't do 12 step programs, but I do think that the steps can be very helpful. The one that I like the most, even though it's very difficult, is making amends with people you have harmed during active addiction (and withdrawal). I encourage you to write a letter of apology to those you have harmed. There is no need to be stuck in a cycle of guilt and shame. Apologize and move on. If those same people continue to beat you up for things you did or said in active addiction and withdrawal, start educating them about what addiction is, what causes it, etc.

Here is a link to the National Institute on Drug Abuse: http://www.drugabuse.gov/

Educate yourself and stop being ashamed!

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 4:00 pm 
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