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 Post subject: Quick Intro..
PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 2:01 am 
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Hey guys I am new here, I am a 23 year old male currently on suboxone and have been for almost 3 years now. I started abusing the 30mg oxycodone roxies while a sophomore in college with a couple of my buddies from my baseball team and after the season my roommate was from Flrorida so he would have a bunch sent up North to us for us to take and sell for 3 X's what we would pay, we thought we would do it a couple times for some quick cash and that's it, but wow were we wrong because after those couple of times, we were hooked to those little blue pills. Life quickly changed, baseball didn't matter to me anymore, I stopped showing up to practices and eventually quit the team. Friendships I had for years quickly deteriorated and my relationship with my gf at the time did as well as I was living a lie without her having the slightest clue. I got to a point where I was dependent on those packages in order to function as my habit was up to 15-20 30mg roxies a day. I became an angry person, I got suspended from school for at least a year because of my anger and became a person I could not recognize anymore. I lost a relationship with a really nice girl because of my addiction when she finally found out (who could blame a 21 year old guy at the time) and lost all trust from my parents and friends. I ended up getting arrested for simple possession (thankful that was all that happened) and that's where things started to all change. At the request of my parents and advice of my lawyer, I checked in to a 5 day detox center that gave out subutex and it was a great experience. I thought it was going to be basically "a bunch of low life druggies" at the time but my narrow minded thinking quickly evolved. I soon met some truly amazing people with big hearts always willing to lend out a hand despite their own issues at hand. I learned this addiction does not care what neighborhood you are from, how much money you have or who you are, it gets everyone. After this I went back home and attended outpatient therapy which was helpful looking back in ways but also can be hurtful at times i think for some people. After a few weeks I could not take it anymore and ended up going to Dr. to get on suboxone so I could not revert back to my old ways. I watched everything I did, almost paranoid but I still went out and had fun occasionally if it was with the right people and had a few drinks because I never had a taste for alcohol and that is not my weakness so I have had no issue going out here and there and having a few drinks in moderation, which I know many specialists may disagree with, but I think you have to live your life and not look at yourself as "an addict for life" but instead "I WAS ADDICTED and this is how I got to that point" and if you shelter yourself after a while you can lose your mind and go back even harder than before. It took time, while on suboxone there were occasional nights where in my mind I would "treat" myself to a 30mg roxie or 2 but then always take my subs the next day. I got a job and was working a lot , fulfilling my obligations to get back to school and as the months went by those "treats" became less and less frequent and I slowly started to recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror again. While at home working I quickly realized that this was not the life for me and that my education was the most important thing for me in my life. In 2011 I got back into school after a year away and decided to stay on subxone to not risk anything at all. Thankfully, I did not have any temptations in the 2 and half years finishing my degree and just graduated this past December with a degree in Economics from Penn State's main campus and am really proud of myself for fighting the adversity I caused myself and staying positive to weather the storm, so for those of you out there maybe not in the greatest of places mentally, trust me it can and will get better if you just believe in yourself. I was extremely fortunate to have parents that were with me each and every step of the way and that understood or at least tried to understand where I was coming from and what needed to be done to get back on track because I know that not everyone is as lucky as me to have that kind of support emotionally and financially. If you have faith in yourself, family, and God then that will make the process a lot easier if you truly believe that everything is going to eventually work out. I am still on suboxone to this day, but I have tapered down to the 2mg strips Taking 1 a day most of the time and another half of a strip (1mg) at night sometimes, but I have even had days where I got by on just 1mg or less. I am working to get off suboxone but I am in no rush, because I want to make sure I am ready and able to do it the right way so I only have to do it once. I am fortunate that I only have to pay 12 dollars a month after my insurance reimburses me for my appointment minus the copay and the suboxone copay coupon erases my insurance copay at the pharmacy so it does not hurt me financially, but it something I would like to get off because the sweating at times and mornings where it is almost impossible to get out of bed because of feeling so crappy need to end. If anyone has any questions for me I would love to answer them and talk more about all of this because I strongly feel the only way to truly beat this, is with support and belief in yourself. It is extremely difficult to do on your own if not downright impossible in most cases.


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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 4:18 am 
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Hey Psu,

Welcome! I'm glad you found us and hope you stick around. I'm sure you can be of help to somebody who is new to suboxone and looking for answers. And who knows, maybe we can help you too when it comes time for you to finish your taper!

-Q


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 10:59 am 
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Hi!

Welcome to the forum! I am glad that you decided to improve your quality of life using Suboxone. It is amazing how much better your life can be when you treat Addiction with medication.


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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 4:10 pm 
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Hey psu2012,

Welcome to the forum!!

I'm glad you found your way to Suboxone and I'm happy to hear how much it helped you. It's done the same for most of us here.

Opiate addiction is an absolute bitch and I'm glad to hear you're taking your time in getting off Suboxone. Have you ever worked with an addiction counselor or gone to NA/AA to understand and learn how to deal with your addiction? It's something you may want to consider.

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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2013 1:59 pm 
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Welcome PSU! Glad to have you here! First off I just want to say that My DOC was the same thing.. When you were describing them I can honestly remember feeling the same exact way. I Am Thankful that Suboxone gave me a better way of life because I wouldn't be able to get out of bed without doing a line or throwing some pills down my throat. I think that was a wise choice for you to stay on it while in school for no slip ups. I truly believe that you will "Know" when it's your time to be done. Everyone is different and that was a very mature decision on your part. The whole "Thinking Clearer" is so much better eh? There is tons of support here and it's a great place to be! Keep up the good work!

Brighty


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