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 Post subject: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2016 9:48 pm 
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Hi guys, well, here's a good one for you.

I was at the supermarket today and I started to feel a little strange. Can't quite explain it. Achy, a little queasy, just strange. I came home, tried to eat a little. Still headachy, chills, strange. Everyone at home has had a bug with these symptoms so I just knew. I got the bug from my grandson or my daughter..

I got in bed and was watching TV and it HIT me!!! I forgot to take Subs like 3 or 4 days now. I forgot! I just forgot. What the hell.? So, I just put an 8mg. under my tongue and I'm going to wait. Man oh man, I had forgotten how the beginnings of withdrawal were.

So, now I have a lot of extra subs, I have an appt. on the 25th. My doctor will give me my RX for the next 6 months. I would have never thought I would be saying I forgot about my Subs. However, now I know that I can feel sick. Now I see why my Dr. said: "At 73 yrs. old, why go through it. Just keep taking 8mg. a day. If you want to try 4mg. a day, see how it goes but if you don't feel right, stay at 8mg, Crazy, I never thought I'd be telling you this.

Well, that's the latest from Queenie. I hope you are all doing good. I think of all of you all the time. Please take care and know that I love you all.

Love, Queenie


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 Post subject: Re: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 12:31 am 
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That's great news Queenie. I like the fact that you're 73 and doing well. I'm 60 and always hoping I can still life to a ripe old age even though I take suboxone. I don't know why I wouldn't. It's not the worst thing I've put in my body that's for sure.

I just switched from methadone to suboxone and I like it better. It's a much lighter medication and I can see how easy it would be to forget to take it. I barely feel it anyway but it's really the absence of the other things it keeps me from feeling that helps so much. As in the absence of depression, chronic pain, chronic fatigue and craving for pain pills to ease those miseries. Suboxone works great for that so yeah, as long as it works I'll keep taking it. I've been taking 8 mg but it makes me sweat a lot so I took 4 mg the past couple of days and the sweating went away so I think less is better for me.

I hope once my doctor gets to know me that he too will let me come every 6months. It sure would save me some money......

take care Queenie!


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 Post subject: Re: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 5:30 am 
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Hi Megster,

Good to hear from you. I am glad to hear that you are doing fine on 4mgs. I think I will try it.

I don't see any reason why you shouldn't take 4 mgs. Daily. I've even realized it helps so much with arthritis pain too. Hey, 60 is still a cool, young age. Don't let anyone tell you different.. Take care of yourself. I will be writing soon and in the meantime I will think positive thoughts for you.

Love, Queenie


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 Post subject: Re: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 7:43 am 
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HI queenie. I just wanted to say hi . I am new here just about a month on suboxene. I have read some of your old posts. Wow forgot to take your sub!! That's amazing. I am still so new that I can't imagine forgetting to take them. Lol. But that gives me hope that one day it could get that way for me. Right now I feel like I think about it too much if that makes since. It's not the same as when I was active and using oxy. The obsession I mean but I still feel like I think about it all the time.....is it working , am I on high enough dose , will it stop working , etc... I could go on and on ....I am hoping as time goes by that stops and I just take it and go about my day. Thanks for sharing this . It gives me hope. All of you give me hope!! Hope you have a great day!!


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 Post subject: Re: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 9:30 am 
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Hi Willowwitch,

Good to meet you. I read one of your posts. I remember when I was at that stage. I know exactly how you feel. Please believe me, it will get better. I was so afraid to go into withdrawal, I used to take extra Subs then I would panic because I was short until my appointment. One time, I ran out and went 2 days until my appointment and I was just fine. Sub stays in your system a long time. I remember when I still had cravings and I had to fight through that one. I started on 32mgs. and my doctor slowly got me down to 8mgs. I have been on 8mgs for the last 2-3 years and I feel perfectly normal. I can assure you, the dose you are on now, will keep you out of withdrawal. I know you feel like you need something else or you miss "that" feeling. Don't give in. Do other things to occupy your mind and every time you get that feeling, remember that the Subs got you covered. Another thing that helped me a lot was something one of our members wrote one time. She said. "Think of the bad things like, having no money, where your next pills are going to come from, feeling sick. Is it worth it?" I think she called it, rewind the WHOLE tape. Not just the good feeling.

You can write to me anytime. Just be strong and know that you can do this.

Love & a hug, Queenie


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 Post subject: Re: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 9:42 am 
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Thanks Queenie! I am so thankful for this site and all of you guys. I don't have a lot of support so this helps. So do my kids. They are 18 and 16. I also have a almost 3 yr old granddaughter. My kids are so supportive and helpful. I am very blessed. But I am definitely lacking in the friend department since I stopped my active addiction this time around. I have been involved in aa and na for 17 yrs . I live in a small town so sometimes that gets old and there is a lot of gossip instead of good sobriety!! So this forum has been a godsend to me. I'm sure I will be posting lots for support and advice. Thanks again. :)
Willow


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 Post subject: Re: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 9:52 am 
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I'm going to call you Willow from now on. No Witch, just Willow.(I hope you don't mind).

You say you don't have friends since your active addiction. You don't need them or addiction.

Now you have friends. I'm sure I speak for the group when I say "You have friends right here"

Love, Queenie


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 Post subject: Re: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2016 4:37 pm 
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I second that!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2016 11:52 pm 
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Queenie!!

I am sort of new here. Several months lurker and recent poster. I've read your posts!. You are an inspiration. Thank you. I'm so glad to see you keep posting. Your posts are most interesting and I'm glad to see you continue to post. You never know how it may help someone, either today or months, years from now. You helped me and for that I thank you. I give tons of props for long timers that do. I would think it hard to keep on w all the newbies w the same issues over and over... Your posts contain much kindness and some straight up talk when needed... Best, P

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Stopping went well -- its the staying stopped -- where the real work begins.
Coming here 'keeps recovery green'.


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 Post subject: Re: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2016 9:08 am 
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Thank you Queen and Amy! That means so much to me. I am so proud to be able to call you guys friends. I guess lately I have really been noticing how my phone doesn't ring anymore very much. Lol. That's a good thing because if it did it would be an old connect I am sure! And no I don't need them . I CAN'T have those ppl in my life anymore . I have been sitting here this morning thinking about starting an ORT recovery group in my town. I have been involved in AA/NA for 17 yrs. I have been sober from alcohol for 17 yrs and at 11 yrs sober I went back out with the opiates for 6 long damaging years! Ugh great choice Willow!!! I have at times been very active in those 2 programs. Even have chaired many many meetings in the past. We all know that they are not very supportive of ORT unfortunately because I do think they are very helpful programs except for this factor. So I think I will talk with my therapist who has a addiction recovery based practice and maybe I can get a support group going ! Idk just some thoughts I am having while I drink my coffee this morning! Well I hope everyone has a great Saturday! The weather is so nice here today. Gonna do some gardening also today.

Willow
P.s.Quennie...you can call me willow or witch. Lol either one is fine by me. :D


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 Post subject: Re: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2016 9:13 am 
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And I meant to say welcome Pelican! I am also new here and it's a great place to get support and info! I hope you stay and post. Everyone's posts help me....new and long time members. Everyone is important and helpful. Maybe one day we will be the long timers! Have a great day.
Willow


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 Post subject: Re: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 1:11 pm 
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Hi, Happy Sunday to all.

Hi amy, nice to see you here, buddy.

Willow and Pelican. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see you both with positive attitudes. That's the right way to go. Hey, did you ever like, try to imagine how it felt when you were high? I have done that and then I laugh & laugh.

Serously though. Trust me, it's better this way. The other way is no life at all. You are just being a slave to some chemical somebody produces and sucks you dry of your money. Those days are gone. We are free. Especially from withdrawal. I can't think of anything I am more afraid of than withdrawal.
I love to hear you say you want to help someone on here someday. I remember when I felt like that. Now, it is a great feeling to help someone or give them advice.

You guys have yourselves a great Sunday. Oh, I remembered to take my Sub today.

Love & big hugs,
Queenie


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 Post subject: Re: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 1:52 pm 
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Hi Queenie, that is funny how you plain forgot to take your Sub and it took almost 4 days to notice it. I've forgotten too but only for one day. Normally I take my dose in the AM and several times I noticed it was 3 PM and I forgot. No big deal because we know how long the half life is. You know especially well now! I am comfortable at 6 mg's but that means my doctor has to prescribe 3-2 mg boxes to give me that amount. I know I should probably taper to 4 and then it would be only one box of 4 mg instead. One thing I'm very good at is procrastination! 6 works so I keep doing what I do.

WillowWitch, just out of curiosity, are you a Wiccan? I delved into that many years ago in my 20's but let it go after about a year. If so, you'll get no judgement from this group of friends you have. And yes, you can consider me as your friend too. We both have similar backgrounds. I got sober in AA many years ago and then lost my sobriety to pain pills. No, I'm not foolish enough to drink again. That would surely kill me within a year or two. So at least I can still say I haven't taken a drink for 29 years. Sober off pain meds for 6 now. And like Queenie, I may stay on them for life. Why not at my age?

If you need some phone numbers of friends here, PM them and see if an exchange can occur. Going with the vibe of AA, I'll say to stick with women for now as you're too vulnerable to communicate with men right now. You know, 13 steppin' and all.

Glad to see you checking in regularly Queenie. At least we know you're still going good.

rule

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 Post subject: Re: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 5:01 pm 
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Hey Rule!!!

Good to hear from you and see you are alright too. LOVE YOU!!!


Queenie


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 Post subject: Re: Hi, it's Queenie
PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2016 8:25 pm 
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Hey guys. Hope everyone is having a great Sunday. Yes Rule I too noticed our simlarities when I was reading your posts. Really helped me! I felt pretty defeated when I finally got honest and realized I had messed up my sobriety with the pills. I haven't drank yet either. It's been 17 yrs since I had my last drink. The pills got me though at 11 yrs sober. So it was comforting to see your posts and remember that I am no different than any other addict. I am not immune to a slip. So you gave me lots of hope. I have recently started going back to meetings. In fact went to a speaker mtg last night at NA. Thanks for letting me know I can pm for numbers . And yes I agree with the sticking with women for that right now. I feel very vulnerable a lot these days and have had my share of 13th stepping! On the witch thing... No I am not wiccan. I would consider myself a solitary witch. I'm not fond of the coven thing so I practice my own way. I believe nature has lots to offer us in ways of healing and energy both positive and negative. I enjoy using herbs and stones. I believe what we put out to the world,universe and others is what we receive back. During the last 6 yrs in addictive addiction I haven't practiced much of my craft. I felt so negative all the time so I was afraid to do much work. Plus I was so busy taking and looking for my next pills I didn't make time to enjoy the gifts the earth gives us other than some of the marijuana!!! :lol: LOL. But since I have started on bup I have been making a lot of my natural bath and body products , using some herbs (legal ones!) ,crystal work etc.. Thanks for asking! And for not judging me. I get a lot of that from my family and the small town I live in. All though everyone comes to me when they need/want a natural product or healing. Funny how that works huh?! I believe there are many different roads in spirituality. ..who am I to say which is right or wrong?! I think the important thing is to believe in something that helps you be the best person you can be . To be kind and loving. To learn to be tolerant of others and find the good in all we can. Judgment is better left to someone or something more powerful than me for sure. Well I am gonna go do my dishes and have a cup of tea. Have a great evening.

Willow


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