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PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 9:14 pm 
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So today is day three off Suboxone for me. Days 1 and 2 I felt terrible. I cried a LOT! Felt awful and thought this was going to be TERRIBLE! Like scary bad. Today I woke up and felt different, I just got up and decided to get out of the house, out of the bed and to try. I drove around in the sunshine, windows down and blasted my music as loud as possible for a few hours and actually felt decent for a little while. I have three young children so I have so much to do, but not enough motivation to get it all done. I did water my flowers and get some chemicals in the pool before that goes to crapola. I am still scared, I am not sure if this is going to get way worse or if I am in the worst of it now. I jumped from 2 to 3 mg per day. I just got tired of tapering, it was aggravating to me, the ups and downs, meds wearing off and all. My Husband said to me, "If a person REALLY wants to do something, they just LEAP." So I did. My withdrawal symptoms are runny nose, coughing at times for no reason, stomach cramps, body aches,yawning watery eyes, sweating and chills, and 0% energy.

Any advice would be great. Will this get worse? Better? How much longer will this last etc? What can I do to help with these withdrawals? I plan to call my pdoc for clonidine on Monday. I am taking a multi-vitamin. Any advice or insights greatly appreciated. Thanks


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 10:41 pm 
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Sorry it's getting so bad. I also have a daughter and stay home. I am on day 6 off a taper down to about .30 mgs. I was on subs for 7 months for pain and was tired of feeling crappy. For me day 3 and 4 were horrible, but 5 and 6 are tolerable. But you know suboxone has a very long half life, so I think it may get a little harder. Everyone is different. I've heard clonidine helps with the leg cramps and insomnia. I also had aleve, antinausea, omega-3, klonipin, and a supplement for my wds. I had a hard time with just 1 kid, so know you aren't alone. There's alot of people on here with more knowledge. Keep us updated.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 1:57 am 
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hope this helps a bit


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RASNQrfa3ig[/youtube]



[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hMcXOTj1z8[/youtube]



[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EXB8kB6N-s[/youtube]

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its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 2:11 am 
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I also pulled up some really old, but really GREAT threads that hopefully can give you some encouragement,
and possibly a look into your future....
Remember that you could ALWAYS go back on a small dose, and taper more.. IF you grow some more patience thru your
troubles..
I really HOPE things get easier for you, very soon.
Best Wishes

Day 11 no subs, just and update
http://suboxforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=4054


Day three and not what I expected, worse to come??
http://suboxforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=4663

PAWS and the waiting game (paws= post-acute withdrawl symptoms, like the symptoms that remain after it's gone)
http://suboxforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=5625


Day 3 no sub- Worst Here or Yet to Come? Your Opinion Wanted (VERY LONG THREAD)
http://suboxforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=7207
Jumped off at 4mg-day six
http://suboxforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=8521

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anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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 Post subject: Thanks for the responses
PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 11:26 am 
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Thanks to all who sent resposes to my message. To the moderators............I understand that your goal is to help run this site and to keep it going and also to keep people out who are badgering others, which is a great thing. However I also have a name for you guys (THE GOONIES) LOL! No disrespect intended at all. I just feel that a lot of the things some of you guys post are intended to scare or turn people back to the subs. However you want to word that statement.?.?.

To have a post at the bottom of the page that states Giving up would be the easiest thing to do, but to hold it together when everyone would understand if you fell apart, That is true strength! Then to tell me to gain patience and go backwards back to the subs to me that would feel like Giving up! That is just how I feel at this point. I am on day Four. It is not the easiest and I do not feel Fabulous, but I am a 32 year old woman. When am I ever going to feel Fabulous? Never, Right. Maybe somedays will be great and I will feel really good once I get through this sub withdrawal, but I have no fantasies that I am going to feel as good as I did with Mommas little helper ever again. That only lasted a short time in itself. By Mommas little helper I mean OPIATES. Opiates of any kind whether full agonists or partial like the subs. They all start out great then within a couple years they show you what they are really doing to you. They let ya down. and I mean WAYYYY DOWN. I got so depressed tapering the subs I thought I was going to lose my mind literally. Thinking in micrograms yatta yatta yatta! Yeah, I couldve givin that a go, but in the state of mind I was in I felt it best to LET GO.

My Psychiatrist actually said those exact words to me, JUST LET IT GO! The day she said that I thought OH Mother of Pearl, I cannot do that. Geez at the time I was still on 4mg a day. I told her I was'nt ready, that I was scared. She told me she would keep me on them for a little longer to give me time to get my courage and to realize I CAN instead of thinking I CAN"T. I quit four days ago with 2 8mg strips in my purse and twelve at the pharmacy. I thought about doing the liquid taper, I thought about getting one of my husbands carpenter knives and making tiny little pieces. I thought about all of that and I lost it.... I just lost my crap, I cried all day long. I was ready to go to rehab. I even called set it up and got my Dads credit card to pay for it. I texted my Husband and told him what I was feeling and thats when he said the magic words, "When you REALLY want something in life you just LEAP!" The next morning I woke up and told my Husband OK I am done. Today makes day 4 like I said. Does it stink YEP, am I still able to type this message YEP! Everybody is different and everyone heals at different rates. Most of it I believe is a mind game. As I sit here with sweat rolling down my body that stinks and I HATE to stink. Don't we all? I just keep telling myself I CAN do this. Tomorrow may be worse, it may be better. IDK. All I can do is keep going forward and not look back.

To make my ultimate point, to anyone else who may come across this post, Don't let anyone make you feel that you have made the wrong choice. If this is what you really want Go for it. Don't let anyone convince you to turn around. Stick with the fight. To the people who think going backwards is a better choice, I am sorry, but leading people backwards is not the greatest thing to do. Encourage them. If it is someone who is trying to jump from a ridiculous amount then yes tell them they DO need to taper longer or it will be too much to handle. But for those of us who have tapered down to a tolerable withdrawal amount, please just encourage us to keep pushing through. Honestly at this point I feel it an insult to be told to find patience and go back on the subs. I am fresh out of patience for opiates and that is exactly what suboxone is AN OPIATE and a very strong one at that.

Now to be perfectly CLEAR-- Suboxone saved my LIFE! I would be dead or locked up in prison today if it were'nt for sub therapy. Suboxone gave me a chance to put my life back together. I had pushed everyone who really loves me away during my addiction to full agonists. I had started running the streets, sleeping on peoples couches. I had left my whole life behind. I nearly ruined my relationship with my Husband. Thank God He loves me enough that He held on to the little string of hope that I might wake up and see the light. I cannot imagine the pain I put Him through and that is something I can never take back. Suboxone did give me the chance to get my head on straight enough to stabalize my life and get my priorities back in line. I thank my Psychiatrist and Suboxone for that. It cost me out the wazzoo but it was worth every penny to get my life back. Now I have it and it is just my time to let the subs go. They did their job, Now I gotta do mine drug free, opiate free. No more chains. Life is what it is, somedays are great, somedays are terrible. That is just life in general for everyone on this earth. Somedays you feel great, somedays you don't. Sometimes you feel like a NUT sometimes you DON"T. It's just life people.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 2:01 pm 
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Hey thegreatestislove!

Just wanted to offer my support. I know i dont really know you but from all the posts ive read by you, you do seem to have your head screwed on straight. You'vr gotten the benefits from your sub therapy, and now your in a good place to let it go!! Rock on sister, your gonna make it!!!

Also wanted to say...i dont think amber was trying to encourage you to go back on sub, rather she was just letting you know if for some reason you cant push through, or dont feel strong enough mentally that it is OK to go back on a low dose and taper. I could be wrong, but i dont think her or any other mod would try to discourage ANY one from stopping sub. It is a personal decision that everyone has to make for themselves. If you DID have to go back on a low dose of 1mg or so that would not be a failure or going backwards, it would still be progress cuz 1mg or .5 mg is still less than you were taking.

You seem like you are very strong mentally at this point, and i totally believe you can make it!!!

I look forward to your updates, and im here to support you :D


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 3:34 pm 
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Thegreatest-


You're doing it! Welcome to the madness. :D You've gotten good info from Romes in your other thread. Baths, music and sex are pretty much the only things that help you feel good at this point. I'm sure you've been doing some reading on here and have seen it all. I would recommend either Clonidine or a benzo for sleep. I wouldn't wish this process on anyone without some kind of aid/ anxiety help. It's barbaric, like getting a root canal without anesthesia (or so i would imagine.) I'm rooting for you! keep us posted.

By the way, I agree with BeautifulDisaster.. I'm quite certain Amber didn't mean any harm. The mods are quite supportive of the members who've chosen to taper/ jump.

Hang in there!


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 Post subject: Thanks for the support
PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 5:04 pm 
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You are right, and I did think about what you guys both told me about the mod not meaning, GO BACK, but rather, if you cannot get through this. I apologize if I was wrong. However I have noticed a little trend that I will just keep to myself at this point. Hopefully not too many others will notice it. :wink:

Well day four so far has sucked a big giant nasty black infested toe. BUT I have washed laundry, folded, put away, cooked a meal for my kids, and cleaned my house. WOO HOO! Staying busy even while I am yawning and tears are running down my cheeks is better than sitting still and marinating in the crappyness. The worst for me at this point is the stomach cramps, back cramps, and the sweating. I also get a little jolt of lightning here n there that actually makes me feel good. THAT MEANS something is happening upstairs. I do not like to do the TMI thing but I have to say going number two and it not taking me an hour was pretty cool this am. Another bonus is that I have been sleeping so far and when I wake up I do not feel hung over. I felt hung over every morning for over two years. It got old! I did get a script from a friend family physician for a few Klonipins. Not many, but enough to last a few more days. I also got a script along with those for vistaril. Not sure how much good thats doing, but I will try anything at this point. I cannot contact my Psychiatrist until Tomorrow, possibly Tuesday for the clonidine. She rotates and I cannot keep up with her schedule. I have enough of my own to keep up with.

So just to update for anyone who may read this, It is day 4 no sub. I feel gross and pretty crappy, but not anything I am unable to handle. It is almost 4pm where I live so I am getting close to day 5. I do not know what tomorrow will have in store for me, but slowly the fear is melting away. I have to keep my focus so I am staying on the positive that even if this does get a little worse I will manage it as it comes. I am yawning, watery eyes, stomach cramps, back pain, general body pain, RLS if I stay still too long, sweating like a marathon runner, and the sweat stinks so I am assuming thats the toxins, meds, whatever you wanna call them coming out of my body. I said in an earlier post 0 energy, but thats an over exaggeration. I would say I do have about 4%. Yeah that sounds about right. LOL :lol: It's possible, but it is hard. Harder at times than other times throughout the day. Lets say it waxes and wanes. Right now is about the worst i have felt so far. Time will tell the rest........


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 10:14 pm 
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So, day 4 is sucking pretty bad, eh? The good news is, I don't think your symptoms will get worse from here on out. They may hang about where they are for a day or two or they could turn around and lighten any moment. Suboxone wd is so hard to nail down.

The important thing is you're doing what you need to be doing to get through it.

Have you tried Advil for the cramps? Once Suboxone leaves your system, you might be surprised how well things like Advil or Tylenol work again.

That's funny about going #2 and not having to wait too long. I went from LONG bathroom visits to being in and outta there in less 5 seconds during wd!! Only problem was, I was hitting the bathroom every 20 minutes!!! LOL

If you need it, Imodium AD works wonders for slowing things down a bit down there. Instead of hitting the bathroom every 20 minutes, I was only going every couple hours or so with Imodium.

As far as the sweating goes.....wear lots of deodarant and perfume!! :wink:

I'd just like to say a quick word about the mods too. The mods have a tough job to do. This is a pro-Suboxone forum and our mods kinda have to balance between supporting Suboxone and supporting those who want to come off of it and I think they all do a good job at it. I know this, there's no way I'd want to be a mod on this site, so my hat is off to our mod's, who volunteer their time and energy to help make this site what it is.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 9:59 am 
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Ok, today makes the morning of day 5. I have definately peaked in my withdrawals. I feel terrible, every withdrawal symptom has intensified. Bathroom, yep i'm runnin...... :cry: My husband thinks I should stay away from the immodium and just let it all come out, he also said I smell like Him after work and hes a carpenter lol. But He believes I should avoid deodorant as well. He thinks my body is trying to get everything out as quickly as possible and I shouldnt do anything to hold it back, which does make sense. So once again today I sit here sweating like crazy, yet I get cold too. Hate that part, hate the stomach cramps too. RLS hit me like a big truck last night. I actually fell asleep with my legs hanging off the bed so I could move them while the rest of my tired body tried to rest. I did finally fall asleep and here I am...... day 5 we shall see what happens today. I did get some gatoraid as Romeo suggested. I am drinking lots of that. I have also been taking hot baths which do help for about four minutes then I feel like im being suffocated and I get too hot even if the water isnt that hot. I don't know why thats happening. After my baths I feel like what little life I did have left in me just got sucked out. But I MUST take baths, or I will run everyone out of this house with the stinky sweats. Like I said day five begins, Bring it on!!!


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:06 am 
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Hey greatest!!

Wow!! Reading your updates are really inspiring for me! I thinks its good to replenish electrolytes furing wd, cuz your losing so much by sweating and the numerous trips to the bathroom. Are you also taking a good multi-vitamin supplement? Amino acids can also be really helpful for the wd process, l-thyrosine is essential for healthy nervous system function. Couldnt hurt to take a wide spectrum amino acid supplement to help repair neuro-transmitters a bit faster. I hope you can get clonidine within the next couple of days, that should help you get to sleep much better and help ease some of those nasty wd symptoms!

I hope you turn a corner and start to feel better very soon!


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:22 am 
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Your husband thinks you should stay away from the Imodium and deodorant? Tell him to go ahead and get addicted to opiates, then go through wd and not take Imodium or use deodorant!! LOL

*sigh*, the RLS sucks. The only thing I found that helped me with RLS was to get on our elliptical machine and run until my legs were wore out.....which took all of 3 minutes. Wearing my legs out staved off RLS for up to 3 hours at a time during the height of my wd. Also, from my experience and reading several others experiences on this forum, the RLS seems to ease up after a week or so. When I came off pain meds, my RLS lasted for over a month, not so with Suboxone.

I'll leave you with this quote from Winston Churchill, "If you're going through hell.....keep going!!"

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:38 am 
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Romeo and Amber,
You two do a great job in helping others.
Others do too,but imo you guys nail it every time know matter what...
Just a shout out and thanks...


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 8:07 pm 
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I know right Romeo!!!! He does make a good point though so if he can handle my stinkyness I can too I guess. Also My stomach is really messin with me, may be runnin one time then just normal the next, but the cramping never stops. I believe today is my peak day at least I pray to God this is the worst it is going to get. My whole body is aching and my head has felt like lead all day. I have found myself unable to do anything outside of laying in the bed today. I DID get my clonidine, it knocked me out for a couple hours. I don't know if I should just take it at night or what, I cannot be groggy everyday I do know that. It is a low dose 0.1 mg. I am small, My normal weight is 125 but since all the opiate crap I am down to around 100. I dont have much of an appetite, but have been making myself eat a little something everyday.

So far today has been the absolute worst. Everyday has had its ups n downs but today was a complete DOWN!
I am taking a multivitamin, other than that at this point I am unable to go in the drug store and get any other supplements. Maybe once I get to feeling a lil better I can, but today has just been impossible. Up until today I wasnt sneezing, had every other wd symptom, but no sneezing till today. Every wd has intensified and I literally had to drag myself to this computer and it is taking me a long time to type this. I have to take a break every few lines. Wow this stinks.

Tomorrow will be day 6, I shall see what it holds for me when it gets here and I will keep you guys updated.


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 Post subject: Day 6 early morning!
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 8:37 am 
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Well yesterday wd wiped me out all day long. I finally fell asleep somewhere around 12:30 am woke up at 3 am crawled into the floor because my legs and arms were drivin me nuts. I did take the clonidine before bed. I think it's kinda similar to a short acting benzo when your tryin to use it to sleep. You guys wanna know something I thought about while laying on my back in the floor at 3 am? I thought, I can remember back to the days before opiates and how I felt and I have actually always had a little RLS problem, but just always shook a foot off the side of the bed or whatever to satisfy my legs. It is worse in wds though. Everything is worse in wds right?.?

Ok well it is day six, I am doing this, NO takesy backsies..... (excuse my child talk, I have three little ones, two wild boys, one tortured girl). So far since I finally gave up the idea of sleep my wds do seem less potent than yesterday, I am yawning my head off, but probably would anyway considering the quality of sleep I got last night. I did finally get off the cold floor at around 4am. I walked through my house tucked my kids back in, they always kick the covers off. I got back into bed after that and just layed there thinking, finally fell back to sleep for about an hour n half or so. So basically last night I was an insomniac.

My stomach is still messin with me. LACK O ENERGY! Other than that, not to get ahead of myself, but I seem to feel better than yesterday. Another day ahead, words of encouragement appreciated, I will update a lil later.....


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 10:13 am 
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I was reading another thread and was inspired to tell this to you guys. It is so true how you have this group when actively using opiates, and then everybody in your group pretty much takes a crap on eachother, lying, stealing etc. but somehow you all stick together anyway even knowing in your mind, Man these people are NOT real friends. We are just all on the same path of self destruction and tomorrow the one who hurt you yesterday may be the one who rolls up first with exactly what you were needing. Then all is well again. REALLY REALLY had to say that twice. How low we set our standards for friendship and meaningful relationships during active use. It is still amazing to me today that I hung with that bunch for as long as I did. Now to my story.

I live in a small town, everybody knows everybodys business literally. If you are messin up as they call it here, then you will eventually get caught. You gotta be super smart to avoid it honestly. I am no dumby, I knew the wind of all my wrong doings had been wafted towards our police force here. Of course they knew what I was up to. I even heard from a former friend that they had a pic of me on the tac board at the station. WOW!

Ok, so one afternoon I went by picked up my supply, then went to my Dads and got my kids to take them to the store. On my way back to my dads a sheriff gets behind my car. I thought OK lets see how long he follows me. Let him have time to run my tag, no priors no past troubles, then He will go away. NOPE he stayed right on me and I knew..... I hid my supply in an area I will not say, but only woman have this luxury. I will leave it at that. I knew something is about to go down. All of the sudden four more cops come speeding around me while the sheriff is still on my tail. OH Yeah, it was gettin real. I get to the intersection and guess what? They had a road block set up just for me. Asked me to pull on over, said it had something to do with my tag. Okey dokey, im not that dumb. I pulled over took a deep breath, told my kids everything is fine no matter what happens, remember, everything will be ok. I have cops surrounding me at this point, at least nine of them. They want to search my car, why? Over my tag I guess lol.... I said sure no problem, step out of your car, OK I tell them, DO NOT scare my kids. They say oh no, you guys gotta think too, some of these cops I graduated high school with. Anyway, of course they find nothing in my car. We go through the whole spill the purse routine, nothing there of course. Then my cell phone starts ringing, its my Dad. He must have felt something.... So I ask can I answer my phone, its my dad He will be worried if I don't. They say sure while they are congregating and whispering among themselves. My dad asks to speak to whomever is in charge, I said UM hey would whomever is in charge here please speak to my Father, He is confused and wants to know what is up with my tag. Obviously He said something to the effect of, You had no right to search my daughter, I know every single one of you and your parents, and your Grandparents. Let my daughter come on to my house. They actually listened Thank God because I had already heard them say dogs six different times throughout the course of this whole ordeal. I left and that was it. NO MORE risks for me. I had to get my shit straight and QUICK! Thus, the suboxone. That day woke me up big time. I got pulled over a few months later for no reason and I got searched again but this time by only two cops. I showed them my script for subs and explained I was straightening my life out. They have not bothered me anymore. It got that close though. My freedom was that close to being taken away from me. Thats why I am so bent on getting completely clean. I want to be an assistant Teacher, but I won't get that job on subs. They discriminate around here and you best believe, they all know what I am doing. When I am clean, this whole town will know it. I cannot wait to feel good enough to go out and visit and spread the good news that everybody already knows, but will politely listen and act like they have'nt heard a word. LOL! Just thought I would share that with you guys. Sorry I did'nt space.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 10:36 am 
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hi again greatest,

unfortunatly the sleep issues seem to be one of the last things to return to normal, but hopefully it comes back to you sooner rather than later! At least if your other sympyoms let up it wont seem so bad. I believe you asked in an earlier post if you should take the clonidine before bed only or during the day as well, and that you cant afford to be groggy duting the day. Alot of people do take clonidine during the day and before bed. The way it works is kinda interesting. During opiate wd your brain freaks out and, produces an excess of norpinephrin (addrenalin) which is responsible for alot of those nasty wd symptoms, and it also raises your blood pressure. Clonidine works to block or counteract that excess addrenalin to ease some ofvyour wd sympyoms and help you get some sleep....thats why a bp med can also be used for opiate wd. If you dont have alot going on maybe you could try also taking it during the day....but three little kids there is prob always something going on!! lol. It seems like there was a little more humor is your post today! I liked how you said "no taksey backsies" lol. I sometimes wish adults could think the way children do...would prob make things alot simpler lol. If tge stomach issues keep bothering you maybe try a lil immodium every now and then when it gets to be too much. Oh ya, and sometimes making multiple trips to the b-room can make things a lil sore downstairs if ya know what i mean....you could try using baby wipes instead lol sry if tmi.

i have to say i admire your determination, and courage to make this jump!! you are def an inspiration to me, and i always look forward to your updates!!


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 11:43 am 
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Like Beautiful Disaster said, baby butt wipes are a must during wd!!! Ahhh, the feel of that soft, moist wipe on a scorched ass.....priceless!!

I see you're taking .1mg doses of Clonidine, that's what I had. I took the .1mg twice daily. Clonidine doesn't eliminate wd, but it sure seems to quiet things down a little.

So, today is day 6 and you do sound a little better. Sounds like you feel a little better too, that's encouraging, right?

I'm going to include a link to a short motivational video I like. It's only 2:43 seconds, but there's some good stuff in there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ewqnfufbs9I

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:45 pm 
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^^Romeo, i love that video!! Right before i joined here i seen the post you made on a different thread to that same speech!

greatest, i just now seen your story about right before you got on sub....wow, you came close..didnt ya? Im glad you shared that. I love reading positive stories about how people have changed their life for the better. We can all relate to it in some ways im sure. And look at you now....your on day 6 off sub and your on the path towards a good career. Even though your wd sucks big time, you have alot of reasons to stay with it, and im sure its gonna feel great when you can gloat to all those people about how good your doing!!


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 Post subject: Ok check this out. LOL!
PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:32 pm 
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So today I finally got to read my instructions per my Psychiatrist on my clonidine script. Says to the word.... Take one tablet every two hours for opiate withdrawal; max four tablets in 24 hours, decrease by 1 tablet every 24 hours. Ha hahaha! How does that add up num 1. and num2 is she trying to keep me knocked out through this whole ordeal, lol. I dont know, she is great though. I do love her dearly. I think I will stick to twice daily. I guess I could take one every 2 hours at night when I wake up every couple hours. No I won't be doing any of that just kidding. Just thought I would share the humor I found in that!


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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