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 Post subject: Positivity please...
PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 8:21 am 
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What the hell has happened to my outlook on life? The creeping opiate demon has sucked every ounce of positive thinking from my soul! I used to know for a fact that I could do anything I put my mind to. I am a strong woman damn it!!!! I can do this thing!!!!

Now that I am completely commited to this taper and know that it is coming VERY soon I have been scared out of my mind. I have to get control of my thinking. So, new plan. WD sucks but I WILL BEAT IT!

Went yesterday and bought liquid b12 complex and going back to get some coral calcium and anything else I can find that will prepare my body for the battle to come. Starting an excersize program today. One thing about being a small frame girl is you don't get alot of encouragement to eat right and excersize from other people. Screw what they think....I need to take care of my body starting now.

Last time I was on these boards I found a ton of encouragement from alot of cool people. Not sure if I am just in a different place now or if it's just that I'm reading different posts. But I have to say I am not feeling alot of love for those of us who are trying to taper off. I would like to see a little more encouragement here people!

Jen :)


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 12:04 pm 
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qhorsegal,

Welcome back!!!

Sorry to hear about all the trouble you've had, that sucks, but it kinda goes along with being an addict.

It sounds like you've gotten back up on that horse ( :D ) and you're ready for this thing now.

I love that you've started an exercise program. From what I've seen on this forum, the people who are in great shape have the easiest time with wd. I remember two people in particular, both women, one was 38 when she quit, the other was 47 or so, both jumped from .5mg and both sailed through their wd. One of them was an avid runner and the other hit the gym and pumped iron on a regular basis.

Ask your doctor for some Clonidine, it will help a lot. Also, if he'll give you some Xanax, that would help too. You have to be careful with the Xanax, they're pretty addictive. He should only give you a weeks worth, at most.

Hot baths or hot showers help immensely too. Imodium AD to stop the shits is a must.

Keeping your mind and body busy during this process and once you jump is key. Sitting around, focusing on how shitty you feel will only make you feel worse, so don't do that!! :wink:

I'm including a link to my favorite motivational video, check it out. Not every word may apply to your situation, but there are some absolute gems in there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L1stBkpWBc

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 Post subject: Positive Energy
PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 3:03 pm 
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Hey Ghorsegal2,

Like Romeo said, Welcome Back! Congratulations on your taper and also coming very close to the jump date. How much Sub are you on now? Have you picked a rough date or am just going by how you feel?

Your statement of not reading very encouraging words here have me a little concerned. Yes, lately there has been a lot of debate about Sub and it's effects on the body, etc. I don't like to hear a member wondering if this is the same site. There's not much we can do about that, but things go in circles sometimes and hopefully our next cycle will be more positive.

Reading what you're going through is very similar to most all addicts when it comes to leaving a medication in the past. Sub has been your security blanket for a long time and now you just don't need it anymore. Just remember, when it comes to stopping any opiate, including Suboxone, the hardest part is mental. Yes, get your B12 and all those comfort meds and vitamins you'll need to feel better. It sounds like you know what to do regarding eating right and exercising. But mostly prepare your mind for it. Maybe some meditation or some great music. Whatever puts your brain into a better place. And of course come here and post your progress. The more people we have getting off Sub successfully the better it is for all.

I and many others here will be rooting you on for success.

Please post your progress.

Rule

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 5:11 pm 
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Hey, qhorse...I can relate. It's like once you get going on a serious taper & get into the lower doses, all positive thoughts & motivation to do anything fly out the window! I hate it! Because for me, those feelings are my biggest triggers to use!
Like you, I've never been this way about anything else I've been faced with. Other than my addiction, when faced with an impossible-looking issue, I've found my fight, my willpower, my motivation & perseverance, and I've steamrolled my way to the other side! Why does this have to be so different?!
It is because the battle is in our minds and that's the place where we have to do most of the work. One thing that I've found helpful is to read books which are motivational and inspiring. But I find that I must be very committed to do it, whether I feel like it or not. Same with exercise, taking proper vitamins and supplements, as well.
Keep posting. Maybe we can help you and in turn, you'll be helping me as I work through this too!


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 5:25 pm 
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Thanks for the response guys.

I totally agree that my biggest problem right now is in my own head. The mind can be such a powerful thing...hopefully I can find the strength to use my powers for good and not....evil! {The word evil should be imagined in the voice of Dr. Evil from Austin Powers...also insert maniacle laughter at the end}

Anyway, to answer your question rule. I am currently at 2mg. I ran out of meds during a recent month long stay with out of state family and had to go through 7 days of cold turkey withdrawal. Yes, it sucked big time. And of course my doctor wasn't too happy with me when he found out I had been taking more than prescribed during my "vacation". So he kept me at 2mg for 2 weeks then wants me to go down to 1.5mg for the next 16 days. I don't know for sure where I will go from there but he told me I would be completely off the medicine in 3 months. So that would put me coming off completely sometime in the first week of June. I have consistently had problems with my doctor being very inflexible with my treatment. He really has his idea of how "his program" is run and he just won't allow for any differences of opinion. I seriously doubt he will be willing to prescribe me any kind of comfort meds when I come off for good. Clonodine, xanax, whatever the case may be. He won't want to prescribe it because he says it is just "reinforcing addictive behavior." We actually had a discussion this week about my anti-depressant. I was taking pristiq and requested to be changed to effexor to save me a little money. I was doing great with pristiq but I haven't been taking the effexor because it makes me sick to my stomach every time I take it. He told my husband it was all in my head. His view is that I am just feeding my addiction by not taking the effexor every single day as he wants. Anyway, I don't have the slightest clue what that has to do with anything. I would still be taking it every day if it wasn't making me sick. He is hard to deal with but I am determined to make it work. I figure if all the people I have read about on here going through wd for weeks at a time can do it, so can I! I just want to be as prepared for it as I possibly can.

I will never say that I regret going on Suboxone. Because God only knows where I would be today if it wasn't available. But I am kind of pissed at myself that I have been going through this for a year now and as of last week I felt like I was right back where I started. In agony. I wish this doctor would let me taper a little slower and get myself mentally prepared for the fight I am in for.

But, positive thinking. That's what I need. I can do it! It is time. I am ready. Freedom is coming!

Ok, I can't think of any more postive things to say here....


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 1:11 am 
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When they tell you its all in your head, doesnt that make you want to smack their head clean off? Or as my mother in law said, smack you so hard you got to pick your bill up off the floor like Daffy Duck....If you take something and it makes you sick, its not all in your head. Its actually in your stomach which is what I would have told him. Doc told me when I decided to taper off that he could do it in one month, that seems a bit steep to me. Especially with just Clonidine and Phenegran. And my anxiety background. I told him that I dont see that possible but he said well when you are ready, we will see. I understand where you are coming from, i am getting to the point where I am angry alot. I think its just where alot of things hit me at once, but Im getting to the point that I dont want to talk about my feelings. I just want to slap someone and make myself feel better. Its like rage is starting to build up from crap in life.
i cant really give alot of advice, but I do know where you are coming from. I hate when someone tells me its all in your head. How do they honestly know what is in our head?lol.....


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 Post subject: good luck
PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:06 pm 
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You can def do this.....I ended up leaving my sub dr because he was trying to make me stay longer and I never took as much as he prescribed me so i had a stock pile of subs so i just quit going to him and did my own taper and yes i was down to a speck of a film literally as small as u can cut it....i had w/drawl normal stuff still having them 52 days off but its not horrible!!!
Ive w/drawled off of oxy's and methadone and it doesnt compare.....now if ur sub dr wont give u the comfort meds then go to the ER thats what i did and i went in there honest told them what was going on and they gave me the clonidine and some klotopin (not a lot) but enough to get me thru basically the 1st 7 days & I can tell u that they were really apperciative that i was honest with them i told them i had been on subs for 3 yrs the dr and nurse about had a heartattack they said no one should b on it for that long and i told them thats y i left i just wanted to be done & sometime in ur mind u just have to be done!
Def. keep us posted on how ur doing remember positive thinking.....U CAN ROCK THIS!!!!!!!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 10:47 pm 
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pitbullmomma.....I love the daffy duck reference!!! Looney Tunes were my favorite cartoons growing up, I'm sure I've seen all of them about 300 times!! LOL

qhorsegal, like Jeaner said, go to the hospital or your GP to get some comfort meds. I went to my GP, told him I was getting off Suboxone and he was more than willing to help me. He gave me comfort meds, Xanax and Clonidine.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:19 am 
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this site has been such an eye opener so many times for me. ty qhorsegal for coming back to post. i wondered about u b/c i started about the same time u did. u were so in for this to kick a bad tramadol habit ? right . if not sorry but anyway. i am glad romeo stays on and many others because i am beginning to realize that yes i am doing fine on my subs but the thought of tapering is there. and what a m f !! i just am trying to say i am thankful for my doc. right now, that u came on and updated. you sound so strong. wishing u a great fight also wishing your doctor was willing to taper u slower if that is what u would have wanted.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:16 pm 
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Hey Wishy :) I remember you too!

I was originally put on the subs because of being addicted to hydrocodone/percocet. I did post a couple of times about using tramadol but it was not my drug of choice. I can see how you would think that though because I think I commented on it a couple different times when someone would ask about taking sub for tramadol addiction. My tramadol use was usually only to get me through when I would run out of my hydrocodone. I did overdose on it one time and had a seizure and I know I posted about it a few times. That is probably why you were thinking that.

It is good to see you still hanging around here. @ Romeo and Jeaner, I am going to try to find another gp doc that will be willing to prescribe something for comfort for me before I get to that point. I know that all doctors out there aren't complete idiots. I tried to start back on my effexor last night and have felt terrible all day. I think I am going to call him back and tell him he is going to have to switch me back to the pristiq weather he likes it or not. I am going to need something for depression until I get past all this crap and I know that my body tolerates that medicine well with minimal side effects.

Okay, just finished my bible reading time and checked in here. Now it's off to excersize. Taking care of mind, body and spirit!

Much love to you all who have taken time to respond. It's funny how much better you feel when you receive some encouraging words from people who know what you are going through. Thank you.


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 Post subject: Your Doctor
PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:48 pm 
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QhG2,

That drives me nuts when doctors behave like they are gods and think they can treat all their patients the same. How about upping your dose of pristiq instead of effexor? My Sub Dr. was sort of like yours when we first met. He told me ALL his patients are off the Suboxone after six months. He totally hit my panic button! But he mellowed out and has been good in prescribing what I need and no more. My last visit I gave him the URL for Dr. J's blog. Hopefully he will check it out and learn more about Suboxone. Your doctor would also benefit reading Dr. Junig's articles. Maybe give him the info next time. Not only for your benefit but for his other patients too. I would tell you to find another Sub Dr. but you won't need one after June!!

One last thing. Write down what Jeaner said in big bold letters "Ive w/drawled off of oxy's and methadone and it doesnt compare" That right there is the best positive statement made to you so far. (IMO)

Rule

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