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PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 1:52 pm 
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Hi everyone...I already posted for help under "Suboxone Cravings???". Unfortunately I made the biggest mistake and started poppin pills again (oxys). When I first came home from detox off suboxone I was doing wonderful. My body was naturally giving me my own happy energy and it was amazing. I really dont think im making an excuse when i say this...but at first i thought i was craving because of all the crazy crap happening to me at the worst time possible...but then i realized the only reason I started craving suboxone/opiates again was cuz I decided to go and fill my adderall prescription which I use to abuse before too. But one of the main reasons i loved adderall so much is cuz it would feel awesome to take my suboxone every time i started crashing so it was just this continuous high for me whatever whatever. For some reason I thought that since I was doing so well i could control myself with adderall...but when i went back on it and didnt have suboxone to use WITH IT thats when all my cravings really did start coming back!!!!!!!! I'm thinking about going back into detox and this time when I come out just not do any other drugs then maybe I will be fine????????????????????????????? Or am i just making excuses??? I personally feel that I'm not. But then in the back of my head I cant help but wonder if i just wasn't ready to not have the crutch of suboxone anymore???? BUT WHEN I WASNT DOING OTHER DRUGS I WASNT CRAVING SUBOXONE AND I FELT SO WONDERFUL AND HAPPY(I mean aside from losing my best friend, the scam and my divorce that i mentioned in my other post)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Should just start over with detox and not make the mistake or using other things when i come out??????? I'm so scared and I'm so confused. I need some reassurance or a whack in the head idk sorry im doing a whole new post but i didnt get much responses in my other and this time i know its because of my abusing adderall not just cuz of the bad stuff that i found out...im sorry if im annoying anyone....


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:40 pm 
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Hello Singer,
I do remember your other post. I like you lost my husband,best friend of 10 years to my husband and my family (because his family was my family) in one day. I was scared angery and hurt BAD. My ex husband and I sold drugs and did all drugs for 17 years. The day he left I had a choice to change or live that same life style. I choose to change and 6 months later I meet my current husband (NO DRUGS).

I do believe you can go back to detox if you feel that is what you need to get clean. I remember you saying your family would be mad. Like I said before I'm sure they would rather that then relapes.
And you don't want to go back on suboxone? I think it may do you some good to get back on it, at least til you can get your live stable and then taper off again. You went to detox to get off suboxone? Was it because you could not taper? How long were you in detox? How long did you stay clean since your detox?
I hope you choose quickly what you want to do so you can get off your DOC. If that means back on subs I would say back on suboxone. It is better then the other option Back on DOC.
Mel :wink:

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Dreams are only Dreams unless you persue them


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:03 pm 
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Meltalk- Thank you so much for responding. I really appreciate it. Congratulations on your success staying clean...you should be really proud of yourself.

The reason I don't really want to get back on suboxone is because It will kill my family. They put so much effort into trying to get me off of it, and eventually told me that If I didn't stop taking suboxone then they would kick me out and just be done with me. I wen't into detox for it because I knew their was no way I could taper as fast as they wanted me to. I spent almost an entire year stuck at 2mg and just had the hardest time tapering down from 2mg because I would get sick and honestly I don't even think I was tapering correctly. So my family got impatient and pressured me into detox.

Detox was 6 or 7 days.......I was clean for only a ccouple weeks i think. My other issue is that I have to pay 150$ to obtain a scriipt for suboxone from the dr....I don't work and I could never get the money from family or friends because it would have to be a secret if i went back on.

I made an appt to see him on wednesday and im pretty much gonna beg him and explain my situation to him....maybe he might except my insurance If i explain things...


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