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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 9:11 am 
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Hi, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years and have a one year old son together. I had no idea my bf was an addict until 4 months into our relationship, I helped him get clean and move away from his dealers. He did really great for about 10 months. He then moved into the house with his mother and brother (whom is also an avid pill user). He started using again before the birth of our son. His brother is now on suboxone for about a month now, which he shares with my bf. Here is my problem, out of 21 strips a week they are only keeping around 8 a piece. This really aggravates me, because my bf quit drugs cold turkey before, why is he sooooo adamant about using suboxone?

Also, he is acting crazy. Just crazy mood swings, I know he's not doing pills with the subs, I just don't understand any of this....

I've been debating on reporting his brother for misuse of the prescription. How would I do that? Just call the clinic he goes to, and what would happen?

How do I get my boyfriend help? How do I get him to stop doing things that are jeopardizing not only his future, but my child's future, not to mention his other two children that are old enough to know what's going on???

Any advice is appreciated! Thanks!


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 9:51 am 
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Short answers...not much...well you can stop your bother from getting his script, but that would mean both bother an b f would just go back to using there drugs of choice. And then the wheels would really come off..
Dosent sound to me either one of them is taking thissseriously. Could e a step in the right direction but b f needs his own dr an program. . And more then likely his moods are changing with the use of other substances. . Hey there's hope but he has to want to do it Ally..YOU can't Change it...HE HAS TOO...Sooooo...you can sit down an talk with him about a plan....good luck..ra


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 10:36 am 
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Opioid dependence is a relapsing condition. I recently gave a lecture to med students and talked about the 'myth of treatment'-- that people have a thought, for some reason, that we can just take a person addicted to drugs and turn that person into who they used to be, before drugs. That is not possible. If you are committing to a relationship with someone addicted to opioids, then opioid dependence will always be a part of the relationship in some way--- either because your BF will be attending meetings every Saturday morning, or will be visiting a methadone clinic every day.... or will be taking Suboxone. OR.... will be sick, or incarcerated. It does not go away. Your comment about being clean for a while.... understand, that is how opioid dependence looks over a lifetime--- period of sobriety, periods of active use. To the person looking from too close, it appears as if there are reasons for optimism-- 'he is better now!'... but it is RARE for a person to NOT revisit using, multiple times.

People on Suboxone NEED a regular dose; that is what makes them feel normal, and that is what puts addiction into remission. So feeling the 'need' to take Suboxone is not unusual--- and frankly it is more healthy than a person who only uses Suboxone a few times per week, as that person is likely using other things as well. But the most worrisome comment you made is that his behavior has changed. People who take Suboxone properly do NOT show behavioral changes other than a return to how they were before using opioids. But people using drugs illicitly, or people with mental illness, DO have behavioral changes. You will get to the bottom of things quicker if you avoid blaming Suboxone for behavioral changes; the med doesn't have the power to do that. But his behavior MAY be changed because of taking a range of opioids--- buprenorphine, heroin, oxycodone, etc-- because in that case, he would be physically sick, irritable, happy at some times, and sad hours later. The problem is the drug use-- and would probably respond to PROPER use of buprenorphine or Suboxone.

As Razor said.... I don't know if there is much that you can do....other than decide whether or not you want your life, and maybe your eventual childrens' lives, to be wrapped in all of this chaos. People do not reliably 'get clean' for kids; more often they leave families behind, or families leave them behind. So I would encourage you to look at the situation DESPITE any love that you feel.... and decide if this is the right relationship for you. Maybe, losing you will be enough to get him to take his illness seriously--- or maybe not.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 3:10 pm 
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He usually takes the strips in quarters. And he doesn't use them everyday, usually about every other day.
It's so hard for me to deal with this relationship, I'm 21 years old, I was 20 when I had my child and he started using other drugs again. He's 33. I've had numerous talks and serious discussions with him, he gets okay for a while but then it's like one step forward four steps back.
His mother is such an enabler also, you need money for other drugs? Here it is. You need to drive the car without a license? Take the keys and go. Would getting him away from this family work? Would getting him to go to his doctor appointments work at all?

I've been figuring that ending the relationship is the only chance my son has to have a good life, but I will definitely need help moving away from this relationship. His drug use and actions caused by his use have caused me soooo much mental harm. It's almost like I'm losing my sanity.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 3:43 pm 
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Im sorry but HE isnt ready to be clean or work a program Ally. .He has to much "help" to not work one.
Family members can be helpful or hurtful . Sounds like mom and whomever aren't helping as you've stated. . He seems to be using sub chips to keep from WDing..but you knew that.

Reread what the Subdoc posted earlier.Try to learn more about opiate dependencies. Go to the Talkzone and find posts there for help too. You are up against a huge battle. For yourself and child. Man,...keep posting asking.. bottom line he has to want it. However tbe enabling in that house is going to make it very hard...


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 3:14 pm 
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Your bf's mother is maybe part of the problem but the real problem is opioid dependence. Opioid dependence will follow someone from New York to California and back. Everything SuboxDoc said, you really need to read over that carefully again.

The only decision that really matters at the end of the day is whether or not this is a healthy environment for you and your soon to be born child, based on what you've shared I would be leaning towards it not being the best environment.

Like already said, you could likely save yourself a lot of grief and pain and it will maybe (maybe not) be the message that he needs to finally take recovery seriously.

Good luck!

Travis

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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 1:17 pm 
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Aly,

This is sad for many reasons... First off, I never had to deal with an addict. I was the addict.. All though I was very active, still kept a job, went to school took good care of my children etc. I was still an addict. I can tell by reading your post that you are desperate.. You have lost total control and you are throwing out way to try and gain that control back.. Here's mom who's a total enabler, here's brother who is sharing the script.. That's got to be VERY frustrating.. But have you ever looked at it this way.. Maybe Mom especially if she is an addict (And I am in NO way saying she is right at all) she may be hearing the sob stories that us addicts like to use to get what we want and she doesn't want him to be dope sick. Maybe Brother thinks because he is sharing the subs that may possibly save both of there lives? I dont' know them.. I am just saying you have to really try to understand the situation as a whole. I have seen my brother sooo dope sick and I have helped him. Well that's what I thought I was doing. Really I was enabling him.. It's such a vicious cycle really... Addicts think that the only one's that understand how they "REally" feel is other addicts and actually that is true. We have a tendancy to stick together. i think you have a decision to make for yourself and your son. Ask yourself if it's really worth it? Obviously he isn't taking the sub correctly because the mood swings aren't legitimate. What if your bf is irresponisble and your son grabs a sub? This is where YOU have to decide weather you can live with this or not. The sad part is that you are have make this decision for you and your baby. Your bf needs help but he has to want it himself. There is no one on this earth that could of made me stop. I had to want to... I don't think it's a good idea to tell on the brother either and this is why, if he can't get his script because someone reported him he will go into withdrawl and he will be on the streets looking, then your bf will be doing the same exact thing. I really wish you the best of luck, you are still very young... It's hard enough to take care of a child but it seems that you have your hands full with your BF also.. I honestly wouldn't blame you and I am sure other's wouldn't either if you decided to throw in the towel. YOu have to do what's right for you and your son. Sadly, your bf isn't thinking of either of you.. I'm sorry and I hope you really put alot of though into what you want to do. Talking to him may help if you want to try it or setting up a dr. appt. yourself for him. Good luck


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