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PostPosted: Sun Jul 27, 2014 9:24 am 
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I am desperately searching for help and don't know where to turn. I have been on suboxone for approximately 1 1/2 months and have tapered down to 1 mg. Tomorrow I will go down to .5 mg for four days and then .25 mg for four days, then stop. I am 25 weeks pregnant. I feel like I have been a terrible mother to this little boy already and he hasn't even been born yet. I hate that I got myself I to a situation of this magnitude. His father doesn't even know I take the suboxone. No one does. I can't talk to my obgyn because I won't be able to see her anymore if she knew. He has been very healthy so far. I don't want to cause my body to go into premature labor from the withdrawals. He is too little to be born yet. I also worry that he will suffer withdrawals inside my belly. I work full time 7 days a week, my work still doesn't know I am pregnant. I work fire protection so its very demanding. I can't be slow and not feeling well. I also can't afford to miss work as I am the support system because my husband is currently incarcerated. He is due to get out on my babies due date. Has anyone experienced anything like the terrible predicament I have gotten myself into? I can't talk to anyone as they would not understand. I am worried my baby could suffer lasting effects. I don't know what to do.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 27, 2014 2:26 pm 
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First off, I'm sorry that you are feeling desperate and alone. That's got to be an awful feeling.

Secondly, it's not recommended that you taper off the sub so quickly, for your sake, but more importantly, for your baby's sake. There is a higher incidence of miscarriage/premature birth with such a precipitous taper schedule. If you're at 25 weeks, why is it so important that you are off sub at week 26? It makes much more sense for you to use 12-13 of the weeks left in your pregnancy to taper off. That makes it less harmful for the baby and less noticeable that you are in withdrawal. I think your taper plan is much too fast. If you are worried that they will test you or the baby at birth for drugs, then make your quit date 2 or 3 weeks before he is born.

Did you sign something at work saying that you wouldn't get pregnant? If not, why can't it be known that you are pregnant? I'm not an attorney, but I'm pretty sure it would be illegal for them to fire you for being pregnant. Wouldn't you qualify for maternity leave when the baby is born?

So your husband is in jail/prison. I've known people who have been jacked up in the legal system for things that were not true, or trumped up by the police. However, usually there is a reason that a person is convicted. Is it the best situation for you and your child to be with your husband? Can he handle being a family man? You don't have to tell me these things, but I want you to think about them for your own sake and the sake of your child.

Why do you think your OBGYN would abandon you if she knows that you're struggling with addiction? Has she said that or are you projecting that onto her? On the other hand, it may be in your best interest to be with an OBGYN who is experienced in helping addicted moms. It is better for the health of your baby if the whole birth team knows of your situation. But I also understand that medical professionals can be very judgmental toward moms with drug problems.

I strongly suggest that you get into therapy. You haven't told us the history of your drug use, but quitting sub is one thing...staying off opiates in the future is another. You need to be working on your recovery or you could easily find yourself back in the same predicament.

I will be deleting the rest of your posts because they are almost identical to this one. We try to keep our members to one post on a subject.

Amy

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 11:52 am 
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Thank you Amy for replying to my post. I am trying to get off of them as quick as possible. I do not want to be on them long and I've only taken them for 1 and a half months so I'm hoping it won't be that bad. This morning I was going to go down to .5 mg but I felt so bad I took .75 mg. I don't want my baby being born addicted. Do you think the baby is addicted now? May I also ask what your education with suboxone is? Are you a doctor or an addiction specialist?I need help and really don't know where to start. I don't want anything bad to happen. I don't want my baby suffering or being taken away either. My history with narcotics is about 3 years ago, I was addicted to oxycodone 30 mg. I got clean by going cold turkey and was clean for about 2 years. I also have a 14 month old baby girl in which I didn't take anything while I was pregnant with her. When she was approximately 9 months old I started using oxycodone again. I then found out I was pregnant when she was 11 months old. I continued to use oxycodone about 1 or 2 30 mg. Pills a day. I started to withdraw if I didn't have them so I started on the suboxone to get off of them. Now I feel as though I have just substituted one for the other and don't think I made the right choice to begin with. I've made so many bad decisions throughout this pregnancy and am at a loss on what steps I should take now. Continue to go down? I want to be off, I don't want to be on anything in the third trimester. As for my husband being in jail, he is guilty for what he did and he is serving his time. He made mistakes but he is in the best interest of my family to stay a part of our family. I strongly believe in 2nd chances. Maybe not 3rd or 4th, but definitely 2nd. Also my obgyn has not stated I would be kicked out, but I don't trust it. We have had a good relationship so far, I actually am seeing a midwife under the supervision of an obgyn. I just don't think she would understand. I don't think she has a history with addicted patients. As for my work, I know the law, but they would just say you can't work until you have the baby and I can't afford that. I don't know what to do no matter which way I turn.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 5:28 pm 
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I am not an expert! The doctor who runs this forum is an expert. I am repeating some things I learned from his articles and posts.

Dr. Junig is a recovered addict who was an anesthesiologist. He is now a fully credentialed psychiatrist. But the most important thing about him for you is that he prescribes suboxone and has had many pregnant patients. Here is a link to some of his articles about pregnancy and suboxone: http://www.suboxonetalkzone.com/tag/pregnancy/

At the top of his page there is a tab "contact me". I think you are looking for specific enough information that it is advisable to get in touch with him directly. He is very straight forward, but not judgmental, so I encourage you to contact him.

My information about tapering during pregnancy comes directly from his advice. I know that you don't want your baby to be born addicted to sub, but if you absolutely HAVE to be off sub by the birth, there is still no reason not to taper more slowly. If you are off sub by week 37 that should give you enough time to have the sub out of your system and your baby's system (if it's even in the baby's system).

I know that you're worried about your baby being born addicted, but you should also worry about your baby going through untreated withdrawals in utero as well. If you taper more slowly it will be better for you and the baby.

Also, it seems like you are almost panicked and horrified at yourself at the same time. You need a reality check. You are not some horrible person!!! You are an addict. That is a brain disorder that is with you forever. Your brain chemistry is different from other people and that is not your fault. Now this doesn't mean that you are exempt from making the best choices you possibly can for you and your kids, but you can't control the fact that you are an addict.

If you don't know this already, let me tell you that addiction is a progressive brain disorder. Just because you're not on skid row or have not had your kids taken away doesn't mean you're any less of an addict than people who have lives more messed up than yours. If you don't take steps to combat your addiction you could get off the sub and then easily wind up back on oxy after your baby is born. Dr. Junig himself became addicted to opiates, spent 7 years sober and then relapsed and lost his anesthesiologist practice. Addiction is insidious!!

So, here is my advice to you.

1. Stop beating yourself up. Self-recrimination is one of the things that drives addiction. You can only do your best every single day. You are not hurting your baby by being on 1 mg of suboxone. You have time to do a slower taper. This accomplishes two things. If the sub is making it to your baby's system, which is NOT a given, a slow taper will allow your baby to avoid the discomfort of a fast withdrawal. Also, you will be able to keep functioning at close to your normal levels.

2. Read every article you can find on Dr. Junig's website (see link above). Arm yourself with knowledge about your pregnancy, suboxone, and recovery in general.

3. Contact Dr. Junig through his website. He is a busy person, but if you're persistent he will respond to you. He bases his advice on scientific evidence and the experience he has had as a practitioner.

4. Find yourself some support. Find an addiction therapist. If you ignore your addiction it will just sneak up on you later. I know you must be a busy person, but make this a priority.

5. Stop beating yourself up!!! You are doing the best you can. You can get through this! Just take it one step at a time.

There are plenty of people on this forum who have experience with tapering over a few weeks. Ask for help with that in the "Stopping Suboxone" section. It's a very active section right now with many people who want to help.

I am a moderator here at suboxforum. That doesn't make me an expert on suboxone. I have no medical background. I've been on suboxone since 10/11. I was at 16 mg for several month before I started tapering. At this point I'm on 2 mg and I've been there for over year. I have learned from Dr. Junig, my own experience, and the experience of some of the wise folks on the forum.

Please ask more questions as you have them. And can I just give you a virtual hug? It's going to be OK.

Amy

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 11:23 am 
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Thank you again Amy. I honestly can't thank you enough. I will email Dr. Junig, but I also had a few more questions I thought possibly you could answer. I went down to .5 mg this morning. I was wondering if you knew of any doctor or anyone I could see besides the clinic in Tallahassee, Florida. I called a few places but I have Medicaid and they do not accept that insurance. They said it would be 280 for the visit and then 800 for the prescription. I simply can't afford to pull 1000 dollars out of my pocket. Do you know of anyone that will accept Medicaid? I just want to be under the supervision of a doctor and don't feel comfortable with the midwife.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 7:00 pm 
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Its been a few days since you posted so I am not sure where you are at but I wanted to try give you a litttle peice of mind... I am currently 32 weeks pregnant... During my pregnancy I have been on subutex and percocet both under supervision of my OBGYN. I am not a doctor but from what my doctors have told me it is much better to be on subs when your baby is born then opiates. My OB feels comfortable prescribing me 4 5mg percocets per day. She really wants me to try to take less then that and even better none but in her experience babies born to mommies that have taken that amount or less seem to do ok. This is a case by case situation though and she said she has seen babies in withdrawal when mamas took way less... Its a matter of what benefits outweigh the risks. The reason I am no longer on a steady dose of subs is because my doctor is no longer available to prescibe them..


But she was convinced if taking them through out my pregnancy that baby would be fine with no withdrawal...

You really do need to come clean with your OB. If your baby happens to be born in withdrawal they need to know how to treat him, also depending on where you live and what hospital you plan to deliver at they may not even be able to treat a baby in withdrawal , in which case they would send you to a bigger hospital with a more prepared and experienced NICU. I also know some hospitals are now doing drug screening on mothers anyways and it will be better for you if you are honest.

Either way... try to breath, try not to stress, you are not the first pregnant person in your situation.

Let me know if you need to talk.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2014 11:31 am 
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Thank you for replying. I am now down to .25 mg. I haven't felt bad at all really. I have a little bit of an upset stomach but that's it. I've been at .25 mg for a few days now so tomorrow will be my first day without them. I don't have any left. I feel as though we will be okay because I haven't had any issues since getting down this low. I dont really know what to expect from this point on. I know they say to stay on them while pregnant but that is not an option for me.


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