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PostPosted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 2:23 pm 
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Hi, ive never posted on anything like this before just read others, but i figured its about time, ive been on suboxone and only suboxone for like 4 years, was doing all kinds of stuff, herion etc before that. While some people are like good for you stickin to just that at least, they dont know..ive been injecting it the whole time, 1 to 2 8mg strips a day..average 1 and a half strips a day..depends because my veins are trashed from years of iv use so i miss all the time n just keep going till i get it, sometimes i might be in the bathroom for 2 hours at a time, telling my wife oh im just sick to my stomach, but i know shes not dumb, its always starting an argument, my addiction. Because its so important to me and takes so much time, shes never been on drugs so i understand that she doesnt understand, but shes one of those people thats like, if u cared about your family that would be enough to stop right there, and it is but, i dont know..i just cant do it, i sit alone and literally cry about how much i hate this life and myself and i just want it gone but as soon as i start feeling withdraw i cant handle it i go straight back to it, i just cant handle it, and now ive got a daughter, she just turned one and i dont want her around this shit it has to go, but its so damn hard!! Ive reasearched rapid detox surgeries and was gonna do it but idk how cuz i need a week or two to go thru it and my job wont allow it yet and i cant keep waiting, i finally got a really good job that supports the family and im a felon so its hard to get that, cant lose this job..but theres been a few days a time at most, mainly if i cant get to a needle, like vacation by plane if i cant get too a needle ill take it by mouth and last time i did pretty good, at least i wasnt sick thats all that matters to me, but at the same time something evil in my brain tells me its so easier and faster and feels so much better when i shoot it, so as soon as i got back home i went to my needles and kept goin again..i want to stop using needles and stop using suboxone but without cheating like rapid detox i dont think its possible all at once, im a sissy when it comes to that, i really dont have a support system, i tried na..just wasnt interested, maybe later down the road, my wife doesnt understand and has a bad attitude so im scared to really talk about it cuz im worried itll just start a fight, she knew everything before we got married its not like i hid it, i didnt let her see but she knew, i told her from day 1 and we been together bout 4 years..shes what made me stop drugs and just do subs..but anyways, sorry im venting too much maybe, but i wanna stop the needle and actually be suffice with just taking my subs by mouth so maybe it will be easier to taper after time, cuz by mouth i take my 2 subs daily, injecting a quarter or half is way better than taking a whole one by mouth so that makes it harder too, i make myself run short sometimes, i want to stop using needles, and get stable on subs, and slowly taper. Maybe make my way all the way off, or if i get the chance to do rapid detox thatll be great but i cant keep sitting around waiting forever, its probably just an excuse from the addict in me..but so i want to stop needles but i am never successful but i really want it gone this time, its insane, hours a day in bathroom stabbing myself multiple times, ive had so many big nasty abcess infections in so many places, im covered in scars, my veins are done, and i mean ive went everywhere and ruined all veins, arms,hands,legs,feet,penis,chest,neck,tongue,never in my eye never will thats too insane, but some ppl will say the same about penis and tongue and such, ive even stuck it in the vein in my temple a few times, its insane, everywhere is now done, ill spend hours trying to hit a vein and waste subs and never even get it, ill get desperate and do crazy shit or sometimes give up and take it by mouth and try to get hydrated and such so i can find a vein later, its insane, but by mouth it takes so much longer, takes more sub, and doesnt feel as good, but like i said, as long as im not sick its ok, everything is just so hard, but now that ive typed an entire book on here, can anyone help? Advice? Tips? Hints? Anything?


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 2:32 pm 
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Big thing is the mornings, they saw u dont get withdrawal for 2-3 days..well something must be wrong with me, ill take sub before bed and wake up sick, sweating..and between that and smoking menthols i wake up and gag and spit and vomit all the time so as u can imagine its hard to hold that nasty sub under my tongue without throwing up, and then its the hardest even if i get past that because i have to sit around forever and wait for it to kick in good so i wont feel sick anymore..like whats wrong with me?


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 11:39 pm 
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I think you aren't getting answers because most of the people here have no interest in that type of life anymore. I've been there-- not with buprenorphine, but with other opioids-- and I remember how Hellish life was. Sounds like you know that too....

You should take a full dose of buprenorphine or a branded form of the drug, as directed by a doc, and get into AODA counseling. Repeat regularly. Dump all the needles, and never let another needle enter your home. Realize that in early treatment many people 'feel' like they have withdrawal within 24 hours; most of them-- over 99% in my experience--- are just getting that sense because of conditioning, and over time, if they discipline themselves to dose as directed, that feeling goes away. I've written some posts about increasing efficiency of dosing, and that can help in some cases (google 'increase buprenorphine dosing efficiency' or something along that line).

It is as simple, and as difficult, as that. Take as directed. Dump the rig. See an AODA counselor, or if you can't afford it go to meetings. Repeat daily.

It works-- truly. But YOU have to work it. I hope you do that-- because you are going to die from endocarditis or develop a spinal abscess, and it sucks having a heart valve replaced (or becoming a paraplegic). Just do it.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 10:05 am 
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Thanks for your answer, ive never heard of aoda counseling but ill look it up, thank you and believe it or not, i wanted to hear how i can die from this or that because honestly i never cared to learn, just looked up endocartitis and spinal abcess is pretty self explanatory..yeah i realized i wasnt gettin any answers, maybe need to try a different site, i usually do it 3 times a day, morning, after work, and night time..like i said morning is worse, did it once then yesterday then took it correctly since, honestly was about to do it this morning and i thought let me check this post and read your answer, and i was able to hold off and take it right this time..i want them gone and i am trying..just a few words of advice and such helps alot more than u know, thanks


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 11:03 am 
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Hey there! I wanted to respond to ur post. I must tell ya though I have no experience shooting sub....zero. However, during my addiction, first three yrs I only used a needle. Then for whatever reason it started making me sick so I traded the needle for a straw. I remember thinking this is not the same and wasn't satisfied. But I had no choice and if I wanted to get high, that's what I had to do. Now my point is, when ur addicted to the needle as bad as the drug like most are who use that way, it's hard to give it up no matter what drug ur doing. U have the most wonderful tool for recovery (suboxone) in front of u right now, a lot of ppl aren't lucky enough to even afford or get subs. U have taken the first step to try recovery and if u would just try it the prescribed way under ur tongue for a week, I really think u will start to realize it can be done and needles need to be ur past. I hated the taste of subs at first but now everything becomes routine. IMO if u do anything repeatedly long enough and get positive results, it will all fall into place. Sounds like u have a lot to live for and I'd love to see u just try it without needles and it will fall into place even if u have to force urself for a bit. The reason u may be getting sick so soon like when u wake up is because subs shouldn't be taken any other way but under the tongue, u probably haven't saw how truly great this medicine can work yet. All this is my opinion and I just wanna see u succeed. Keep us posted my friend :)

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Jennifer


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 3:08 pm 
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Hey Herycyki,
You have been give some great advice here already.
I hope you will look into finding more help.
As the last poster stated, it seems that you have a lot going for you in your life today.
Wife and a job you like that pays..
That is a great start.

I know nothing about the addiction to the needle. I understand
it to be a stroug one. But you can beat it!

As Subdoc said it can be as simple as dumping then and start taking your med
as directed. Easier said than done you maybe thinking..
Just try it Herycyki.
Dosing under the tongue may take a little getting use to but you can do it.
It can give you the chance to become heathier. You will be amazed
how normal you will feel after you have stablized. This could take
a few days, but it will happen for you.
The hardest part is trying to do all of this alone. Find
some recovery help. Aa/na , some therapy maybe,
and please keep posting here ..

Your life can get better with some work and suboxone used as a tool..


Razor.......


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 8:07 pm 
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Thank you all for the interest and the answers yea im working on finding a good support group, and yea i did it for almost a week before and it was doing alot better but the addict in me wasnt ready so when they were available i went back to them, but i really am so ready now..and talking on here helps alot more than u think for me, and i am going to attempt it..just trying to find tge guts to just get rid of the "bad stuff"


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