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 Post subject: PLEASE ADVISE
PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 10:10 pm 
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I am a longtime opiate addict. I was on them for 4 years hard then thanks to suboxone got clean. The dr. at the time just had me on them for 21 days and tapered me and I was done. I stayed clean for 2 years then went on a year run again. This time a different Dr. has kept me on them for 4 months, and will continue to keep me on them. I take 8mg a day, 1 pill. I would love to stay on this. I feel safe, I feel good, I dont even think about using, BUT i'm scared! Im scared i'm digging my grave. I see so much bad things about people and long term usage of suboxone and the withdrawls. PLEASE tell me what you all think. I KNOW this drug saves my life and enables my daughters father to be in there lives. I know this, but I want to KNOW i'm doing the right thing. Thank you


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:32 pm 
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Big Tom,

Welcome to the forum first of all. I have certainly been where you are at. I was on sub for 2 years and then went off for 3 months. I learned sub had been masking some peripheral neuropathy that was too painful to tolerate. Ultimately, I chose to go back on it. I can also say that I did not taper and had pretty severe PAWS although it did continue to get better, just at a snails pace. My concern was that with 2 chronic pain conditions, how would I stay away from pain killers all together and at least I couldn't feel my pain on sub. I struggled making the decision if I should go back on it or not. I talked to my doctors, my husband, an addiction specialist, people here, etc. I did go back on it. I don't know if I will ever feel entirely confident with my decision. Most days I don't think about it. Some days I wonder if I could do it. I would love to do it without anything. I feel pretty confident in my abilities when I am on sub, but off it I felt quite vulnerable. I wouldn't have gone out searching for pain killers but every day I thought about how much better I would feel if I had them. Actually, I just thought of sub. I didn't want to get high. I just didn't want to feel terrible anymore.

The scary part about this decision is that I have one life and am afraid to waste it. I am afraid to miss something. If I am on sub, I am safe, alive, have relatively low stress, I wake up every day and go on with my life like nothing. But if I was off sub, would I feel different? Would I enjoy things differently? Would I experience the lows differently? Would I gain something more by experiencing those things naturally and with no meds? I don't really know the answer to these questions and unfortunately, I can't really answer your question for you. All I can do is empathize with where you are at and this struggle. I can share my own experience. Today I am not ready to try getting off of sub again. Today I feel like I AM enjoying my life. Today I feel like I have the energy to do the things I want to do. I do not feel like I am missing anything. Today I am choosing not to worry about forever and just focus on today. I don't know if this is the right answer or not. I don't know if I will look back and wish I had more strength and did things differently. I just have to work on accepting that I will never know anything for certain. That is where I am today.

I wish you luck in making this tough decision. Hopefully someone else will have some thoughts for you or something that will help you decide.

Take care!
Cherie

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Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 12:23 am 
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You pretty much answered your own question with your statement about your daughters. Don't worry about what may or may not be difficult for you in the future. Enjoy your daughters and your life. I've said it before on here, 90% of the people I know who tapered off suboxone did so easily. The people who stuggled are the ones that scream the loudest. I'm not putting them down, it's just the way it is. Good luck to you.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 8:23 am 
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Hi big70tom; I also wanted to welcome you to the forum. I think you'll find lots of support and information here. We're glad you joined.

The question you are asking yourself has been asked by many other people as well and will likely continue to be asked. But like Smoothy said, you kind of answered your own question. Yes, you are dependent on suboxone, but so are people dependent on their blood pressure meds, thyroid meds, or insulin. They don't question their decision to stay on those meds. Sub doesn't really have any long term negative effects...It's a pretty safe medication. Personally I don't question my decision to be and to stay on suboxone. Instead I spend my energy and time trying to live a happy and healthy existence. Enjoy this quality time with your daughters...You wouldn't have it with those damn pain meds. Again welcome!

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 Post subject: Thanks
PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 11:28 pm 
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I know, and thank you. This is a wonderful idea and place.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:34 pm 
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I wish I could not take anything and be fine also but it ain't happenin' if ya know what I mean.Those days are over.I'm not a kid anymore.I have my own kids now and have to look after them more than me.Being on Subutex for me is the best place I can be right now after 2 months.Perhaps after a year I may feel differently and want to come off but at this time I really wouldn't mind taking Sub for the rest of my life.
After all I also take Prozac and Klonipin and Lotrel for Depression/anxiety/panic attacks and High blood pressure.I will be on those for life also.Why not Sub as well?These 4 medicines allow me to function in life.Each one does something special.
Take one away and I'm not right.

Good luck.To me It seems you're a good candidate for long term maintenence with Suboxone.

Tony


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