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PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 6:46 pm 
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Libra -

I sent you a PM.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:13 pm 
Wow! I go to work for one day and look at what I miss! I just read the last 10 or so posts in rapid fire succession, and it's pretty overwhelming. All I can say is, Libra, please don't give up on us! Take a break from us, yes. Really, honestly and truly, no one here is ridiculing you. In fact, we're all a bunch of drug addicts. No one is saying anything that we wouldn't want said to us if it looked like our recovery could be in danger. So I really hope you'll take a cooling off period, and check back in sometime soon.
In the mean time, keep up the good work. You're off the Roxi's, on the Sub, and seeing your therapist. Keep going, keep moving forward and don't let some bitch doctor take up space in your head. You have been through a lot in the past few weeks - we know cuz we've been there, too. You're among friends here, and we really do have your best interest at heart.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:51 pm 
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Dear Libra,

I have to chime in and say that I agree with Hat, Donh, Junkie and the rest.

The people who have posted here have only your best interest at heart. Trust me!

We have all been where you are now! We all know how it feels to have to defend ourselves and our actions. It doesn't feel good. Because we have all been through it in one way or another, we all easily recognize the thoughts and behaviors as symptoms of our disease. We all want, more deeply than anything, to save someone else from some of the years of pain and suffering that we have gone through with our disease of addiction.

It took me years to come to believe that no one can understand me as accurately and quickly as another addict who is in recovery. I found out that when I hang out with recovering people, they will not co-sign my bullshit! I have come to know that this is done with no other motive than care, respect, and concern. Today I value the things that are said to me, even if they are hurtful or if I disagree, because I found out that 99.9999% of the time they are right! Hanging out with recovering people either at meetings or in a forum like this is a great and precious gift, and it is priceless. When something like this happens to me I try to remember to say to myself: "What are the odds that all of these people are wrong, and I am right?"

I do hope that at some point you will be able to realize that the people here, including me, love you and care about you, and honestly - we are only trying to help you!

Sincerely,
~Rossma


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:56 pm 
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To Diary of a Quitter:

I came home from work today and the PO thread was still up. I refreshed and saw your post about sending me a PM. I have to tell you, with all the bashing I'm getting around here, I was almost afraid to read it!

I'm glad I did. And thank you very, very much for your kind words and understanding. I'll keep you (and others who have supported me) up to date as to my progress.

To those of whom that bashed me at every opportunity, I would LOVE to say "Shut the fuck up and get off your high horses" However, if I DID say that, I might get banned so I'm just going to shut the fuck up myself. Image


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:10 pm 
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One last thing....Bboy? I had a legitimate script for the Oxycodones and for the Benzodiazepines.

Also, let me give YOU a piece of advice. Get a spell checker. I honestly cannot comprehend what you are saying half the time because of all the spelling and grammar errors.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 10:41 pm 
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Lol really makeing fun of my spelling lol. But hey its ok im not that low of person to get mad at you about it my spelling sucks hahaha i suck i cant spell oh well spell check has been my best friend threw college.

But you didnt touch my question.

Do you think its fair to put your dr you love so much in the posistion you are putting him in an he doesnt even know it? You go to the ER an the wrong dr finds out what you are doing he losese everything he worked for and to top it will have to deal with felony charges! all cause of your lying to get what you want benzos. You could have a script for benzos it doesnt make it right. dr.f would not be giving you a script for benzos if he knew you were on suboxone an if your suboxone dr knew you were on benzos then you put your recovery at risk by getting kicked out. but if you tell the truth both doctors can work to gether an actually help you but by you lying they think they are helping you but really they are flushing your own health down the shitter. but really they think they are helping you and thats why im upsett with what you are doing. you can take it how you want but it seems when people tell you the truth you cant take an put up a sheild an we are all wrong an you say f$&% you but really im just trying to point out you need to tell the truth so you can actually start your recovery instead of trade painkillers for benzos.

Like i said i just dont fell sorry for anyone who lies to drs and puts what they work so hard for at risk cause you dont want to tell the truth. you get mad when you are called a addict but look at what you are doing an tell us that does not display a drug addicts ways.

ps
and if you want to get mad at me make fun of my spelling go for it. BUT ALL IM TRYING TO DO IS TELL YOU IS THAT YOU NEED TO THE TELL THE TRUTH. you say you are serious about your recovery but you cant even tell the truth to either doctor you see! meaning how can they take your recovery serious if you dont. and if you did you would tell the truth not be taken benzos an listening at what everyone hear is trying to tell you.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 10:01 am 
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Well hell, Bboy. If it makes you feel any better, I also get 60 bars of Xanax from my Suboxone doctor, and lesseee....











































Yup! Still alive! And no one went to jail! Image

Look, I work in law, directly... in chambers... with a real live judge who wears a robe and everything so I know a thing or two about the law. One of those things is that my doctor is not going to go anywhere near a courtroom because of me. Additionally, this forum and specifically this thread is about how unprofessional and immature a doctor acted in my presence. It's not about benzos (My Sub doctor gives them to me, too), nor anything else. It was about a comment made in my presence by a doctor that should have NEVER been made. Was she right? Yeah... she's right. But was it right for her to make such a degrading remark in front of me to one of her associates. HELL FUCKING NO.

And about that spelling.... It's more about the context. You don't go 'threw" college. You go through it. Two completely different definitions; one is an adverb and the other a preposition.


Last edited by Libra on Thu Oct 28, 2010 11:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 10:26 am 
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I'm sorry I'm not trying to be a bitch here, but who do you get the benzos from, your PCP or your sub doctor? Or it almost sounds like you're getting them from both? That couldn't be right though....because that means you would be taking either two different kinds of benzos or twice as much of the same kind. And with the suboxone, well, that's dangerous. Especially if neither one knows about the other. Maybe, like I said though, I'm just mixed up or confused. Could you clarify for us?

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 11:14 am 
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I get Halcion from Dr F and Xanax from the Sub doctor. The Sub doctor knows about the Halcion.


I edited my previous post. This is NOT about what I take or from whom I get it from, it is about the shitty thing a doctor said to me. Why must everyone turn it into something else?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 11:20 am 
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Libra: I'm really sorry that you are feeling attacked or like we are against you. I know you may not believe me, but that really is not the case. No one here is against you. I am positive in my case that is not the situation and am pretty certain that with the others they only want to see you successful in dealing with your addictions as well. We are by no means expert councilors. We don't know the preferred methods to help someone understand, realize and admit to their addictions. We just know addictive behavior when we see it - mostly because we have lived it. You have to know that giving a schedule II narcotic to other people is illegal. Hell, it says so right on the bottle. Working in the court system, can you imagine what would happen if you were ever caught? I was diverting drugs from a healthcare provider of sorts that I was a director at. It was completely separate and apart from my full-time job. Yet, when my full time job found out about it, they fired me. Can you imagine the field day the media would have with someone who works for the judge getting arrested? Think it can't happen? Something tells me that this other female doctor would report you in a heartbeat.

I'm probably lucky that I didn't die. Of course I didn’t at all see how dangerous my drug use was at the time. Looking back I really see how extremely lucky I am. From the amount of benzos you say you have taken, you too are lucky you have not been harmed. I know that you don't think that is the case. However, I'm pretty sure that you know deep down that these things are a problem. Hell, many of the prescription drug issues we have in America are because people think it's all-okay because they have a prescription from a doctor. But you seem like a pretty smart person. You know what the truth here is.

I am glad that you are still around and really hope that you will continue to stay. I'm sure everyone else is as well. We may suck at delivery, but it really is pretty hard to argue with our message.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 1:34 pm 
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PLEASE STOP LYING TO US!

hears her recent post about who she gets her benzos from
"I get Halcion from Dr F and Xanax from the Sub doctor. The Sub doctor knows about the Halcion"

ok hears her first post on page 1
"So, I see Dr. F and he's pleased with my progress on the anti-depressants, takes me off the Temazepam (seriously.... I might as well popped a Pez it was so ineffective) and put me on Clonazepam. He then, as always, starts telling me dirty jokes. I am a LOUD person.... so naturally, I have a LOUD laugh. So there we were, patient and doctor, behind closed doors, roaring with laughter for about 20 minutes"


" I also get 60 bars of Xanax from my Suboxone doctor"

So really you are getting Benzos from 2 different doctors! and sure how dr.d went about that whole thing is wrong but honestly every thing she said is 100% true. sure you are not takeing the percs and thats good but lets be real hear for a minute you are so caught up with lying you just proved to us saying you get Halcion from dr.f but yesterday its clonazepam?

cause the last time i checked halicon is not Clonazepam!

and yes your doctors could get in trouble if you are filling 2 different benzo scripts from 2 different docs!

as of the spelling hey its ok i already said i suck at spelling but hasnt stopped me threw coming up on 5 years worth of college an getting internships.

I only want the best for you but you are a addict so am i an the only way your gonna realize this is if im upfront with you and tell you how it is thats just the person i am. but im not gonna hold your hand an tell you its ok when you are playing with peoples lifes like this!


Last edited by Bboy42287 on Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:06 pm 
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and just incase she trys to go back to delete it we all know that i cant spell that whole quote all proper like so you know i copy and paste it lol.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 2:27 pm 
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Libra wrote:
LOL! I am honestly in shock! Do this! Don't do that! You're gonna do this! You shouldn't do that! Studies show this. Studies show that. I gave three examples of getting off opiates (I'm sure there are more) and was shot down like a turkey on the first day of hunting season. I will say this one last time. The script for the Percs was written as routine. I didn't go to the doctor with Percs (I don't even LIKE Percs... If I were going to spend money on oxy, I would go to my Roxi Doc for fuck's sake!) I went to get my blood pressure meds, anti-anxiety meds and my anti-depressants. You can choose to believe me or not. Frankly, I don't care at this point.

Everyone is DIFFERENT! What's good for the goose is not necessarily good for the gander. What works for you may not work for others. I see this as trial and error mixed with a whole lot of wherewithal and determination. I don’t think any method of “getting clean” should be shot down. Hell, who knows…. Some man in Milwaukee may be sitting in his recliner, having been clean for 22 years using the standing on your head, whistling Dixie method of detoxification. I am not going to condemn nor condone anyone’s method of getting clean. That's their tap dance, not mine.

I AM in therapy. I go once a week. You want her name and phone number? You want an affidavit from the counselor I see weekly, too? I'm sure he'll be happy to oblige. I can get you a signed note from my NA meetings I attend 2-5 times a week.... if the first two aren’t good enough for you.

Additionally, my being an addict does NOT give Dr. Bitch Ass Ho the right to say what she did yesterday. I don’t give a flying fuck WHO she is or WHAT title she has. I have a title (other than addict) of my own but I don’t use it to abuse people with it. With or without a title, to demean or belittle people you don’t even know is bitchy and mean-spirited. If one must say nasty things about another, at least do it out of earshot.

Listen, I’ve been off of Roxi’s for three weeks using Suboxone and I have tapered successfully these last three weeks. The only positive feedback (which has proven to be effective in getting people to achieve a goal) has been miniscule. Oh, but the ridicule! That’s handed out in buckets! Now, taking that into consideration and the fact that I came on here looking for a little sympathy because of some shitty doctor and instead getting pinned in a corner over my supposed “diversion” and wrongly executed detoxification plan or whatever is NOT what I signed up for.

So therefore, I bid the farewell and wish all of you a successful recovery.

Adios, Amigos! I'm honestly going to miss a few of you that I have gotten to know in a short period of time, but when someone or some place brings you down more than up? Well, I think it's time to say goodbye.

.....and to think just a few days ago I was asking to stay....


Never mind, I'm out. Good luck to you.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 7:08 pm 
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Libra, stop giving your power away to be happy, your unhappy with the Dr. I know your unhappy with a few posters here, you can not let shit get to you... Life is to short, If people know they can get to you they will.. we cannot escape into another mindset ( Being f---ed up ) and forgetting about assholes, If thats you in the avitar, WOW... Were's the fun Libra who works in the Octomon in her posts, Show yourself and everyone else how strong you are by NEVER EVER again posting on this " Pissed off " thread... Let it Die........... Good Luck, Mike


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 11:28 pm 
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Well, I can't NOT post in here. I have to defend myself and thy honor, dammitalltohell!

For the official record (I have the bottles in front of me) I am taking Clonazepam that I get from Dr. F and Xanax from the Sub doctor. Dr F has switched one of my benzos like, two hundred times. I was merely confused. I don't even know what Clonazepam is to be perfectly honest. Names of people (and apparently, pills) escape me. And yes, Sub Doctor DOES know about the Clonazepam. The two are prescribed for two different reasons.

Secondly, I DO like my doctor. I like both of my doctors very much. I live in Doctorville, USA (with all the old people and junk) and could have my pick. Why would I continue to see a doctor to whom I pay money to see when I have insurance that would pay for any number of other doctors? It doesn't make sense. And don't come back with the argument that I see him because of the pills he gives me because you can ask anyone in South Florida and they will tell you that the doctors here hand out drugs like candy on Halloween.

In summary.. I, too, think this thread needs to be put to rest. I think I'd rather be a sibling of the Octomom (What a fucking NIGHTMARE!) than continue this argument. It's going nowhere and only serves to divide potentially helpful (and fun!) friendships.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 11:42 pm 
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hehe when did you move from Oxycodoneville, USA to Doctorville, USA?

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2010 11:48 pm 
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They're one and the same....


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 1:38 pm 
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See this is why nobody supports you with this!


yesterday
"I get Halcion from Dr F and Xanax from the Sub doctor. The Sub doctor knows about the Halcion"

Today
"And yes, Sub Doctor DOES know about the Clonazepam"

So yesterday the sub dr knows just of the Halcion

Today the sub knows of the clonazepam

Its non stop lies in this thread. IM sorry but you are still living the life of a addict you are in total denal getting benzos from 2 different doctors. one day they dont know about it the next day they do know about it which is it?

im done with this thread its no use to try an help someone who doesnt want to be helped!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 2:24 pm 
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BBoy, I think you need to calm down and back off a bit here. I can't believe that the tactics you are using at this point are taught or supported in the training you are getting to be a councilor. I'm pretty sure that by now everyone, including Libra, knows she still has some level of active addiction going on. Part of addiction is being less than truthful with others - and with yourself. They say that you can always tell when an addict is lying - - - - it's when their lips are moving. :) I'm all for tough love but continuing to beat the hell out of her is only going to knock her unconscious or worse yet kill her. Killing someone on-line would be the equivalent of having them leave - and what sense would that make? So just take a deep breath here and give her a little bit of breathing room herself. There is something to be said for allowing someone off the hook with a little bit of grace. It's got to be hard trying to keep all these balls up in the air at the same time. Think back to when you were first coming to grips with the fact that you are an addict. Many of us here are at the point in our recovery where we have no problem claiming that we are addicted to drugs. But remember back to when you were in the throws of addiction. It was not nearly as easy.

I'm pretty sure that everyone, including Libra, knows the score at this point. Hopefully the focus can now turn to making things better. For me, that would include coming clean with all of the docs involved about what has been going on so they can start to help - or at least stop supplying all the drugs that they are supplying. The opiates are being addressed and the benzos really have to be next. The combination of the two (or three - or four - or how many ever different flavors of benzos are involved here) especially in high doses really can be lethal. From what I understand there is yet to be a single overdose death attributed only to Suboxone. However, there have been many when Suboxone and benzos are mixed together. Certainly sharing medications, especially controlled substances, with other friends or family members needs to stop as well. Yeah, there certainly is a lot of work ahead. I think the road map is sort of laid out. Hopefully we can now help Libra to navigate down these roads. Tailgating her or cutting her off really isn't going to help much.

I know your intentions are in the right place BBoy. At least I think they are. You may just want to alter the delivery a bit.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2010 3:01 pm 
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Yeah BBoy........don't you know that only DONH is authorized too correct, slam, run of new members or criticize someone on here. What is the matter with you overstepping your authority here by being passionate in your responses.....If you don't believe me just wait.....We have a new President....


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