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PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 11:34 am 
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I am the married mother of two teenage boys. I am 39 yrs old and have been married for 21 and employed for the government for 19 years. I have had a very good if stressful life. I grew up seeing my mother take a pill for everything and I remember being a teenager and saying I will never have to be that kind of person. You know what they say, never say never! My government job of 19 years became so stressfull I started having massive migraine headaches. Doctor prescribed pain meds. I took them only as I needed them ... at first. I then realized the pills made my day a lot easier to handle so I started to take them all the time.

I started having a lot of financial trouble ( we lost our newly built home, truck, boat and car all within 1 year) and that's when I started taking a massive amount of pain pills. I just needed to feel better. Well that got me by for awhile until I had to start buying them. I didn't have the money to so I looked to family and friends that had them and gave them a sad story all the time so they would give me theirs (my mom even started buying them for me so I wouldn't be sick). Needless to say things just were not getting better and one night my 16 year old son came and ask me "why do you have to take a pill for everything" that's when it hit me hard. I realized I wasn't hiding this from anyone. I had a problem. I was tired of counting, checking and living for pills. Tired of having anxiety about running out. They became my focus in life not my kids or family. When did that happen?

I was very honest with my son about my problem (kids are smarter than you think) . I decided it was time for a change. I told my doctor I had a problem and he agreed he didn't feel comfortable continuing my refills upon review of how many he was giving me ( I just changed to him because the other doctor I was seeing was ask to leave the practice...hmmm). The other doctor would give me all kinds of pain meds and a lot of them too. One time I ask her if she could give me something that stayed in my system longer, thinking that would help me quit taking so many pills per day, and she gave me morphine 2 x per day to go along with the 8-10 hydros.
I was up to about 20 Norco per day and as much ultram as I could get ahold of. I would have a script for 180 every 14 days and I still had to get from other people. The doctor tried to get me to taper down and I did okay for a few weeks then
My tapering hit a wall. Everytime I would get stressed I would take way more pills and promise myself that the next day I would do better. As long as I had 100 pills I would take them and had nothing in my head that told me to only take 8 or whatever.

I started looking at youtube vidoes about people going through addiction and withdrawal. I had tried to go cold turkey 2 times and thought I would die. I knew I couldn't do that and be successful. That's when I heard about suboxone. I became obsessed watching videos and reading this forum. I started calling all the doctors (4) on the list my insurance gave me that could give suboxone and found one 2 hours from home. Ever since that first appointment my life has been better. It is still very stressful but it is nice to be able to tell my son " I'm working on it". I am looking forward to the future again.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2011 7:41 am 
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WOW - thanks for sharing your story. It's an amazing one, especially with regard to how honest you have been with your family. You're teaching your kids something extremely valuable in handling your addiction with such grace and honesty. I really respect that. You should be proud of yourself... I am.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:39 am 
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What a great story. You should be proud of the wonderful mother you are.

I'm sure the Suboxone will help very much. Isn't it great to feel normal & not worry about pills & getting sick?

Keep up the great work & keep us informed. Stay with us. We need positive, strong people like you here.

Love, Queenie


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 2:15 pm 
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Thank you both so much. I just really wanted to show my son that yeah we mess up, we are not perfect but you can do something about it. My sons and I have always had a very open and honest relationship. They tell me things that sometimes I don't think I'm ready to hear but thats how I want it. We are so close. My husband has been a great support through all of this too. I know I am blessed to have that.

I feel so good and clear now. We are getting ready to go to my sons football camp and watch them play and I was thinking "this will be the first time since he was 12 that I have seen him play without being in a pill haze". I'm mad that I was before but I'm glad I can say that I am clear now.

This forum has helped me so much. Thanks again to all of you out there that post!


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:29 pm 
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GREAT STORY, how long have you been on suboxone? any stength's and hope? from taking suboxone. Have you tried AA/NA yet? it's a great tool helpfull if you want support, and will help with stress!. if you plan on eventually being free of drugs including suboxone i highly suggest trying AA/NA


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