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PostPosted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 11:53 am 
Hi there Hawker! It is sure good to see you checking back in here! I'm so happy for you......over one year off and still doing so well!!! That is just fantastic!! And how kind of you to take the time to help the others here who are having some trouble with tapering/stopping!
As for me, I'm approaching the two-year mark of my Sub treatment. As you may recall, I had gotten myself to 1mg/day or less a while back, had a brief lapse and then went back up on my dose. Since that time, I unfortunately had another slip after again getting to a fairly low dose. So, I had to sort of hit "pause" on things, get back to a more therapeutic dose of Sub and start looking at doing something different. At this point, I am seeing a therapist who specializes in addictions, for one-on-one counseling and support and I'm on 4mg/day of Sub and things are looking much more positive. Apparently, I just was not truly ready to be off Sub before. I had never been craving free and in working with my therapist, I've realized that I still had unfinished business related to everything that happened while I was in active addiction. So I'm working on those issues and focusing less on the Sub until I truly get to a place where I am virtually craving free and stable enough to begin a final taper. I do plan to go ahead and reduce to 2mg/day over the coming 4-6 weeks, as reductions to that point have tended to be trouble-free for me in the past.
Anyway, I still have in my mind the great advice you gave me back when I was tapering before and I will utilize that again when the time comes.....So, thank you for that!

Ladder, I'm sorry about what you're going through. It sounds pretty awful and I'm sure that you are just so tired of feeling this way. I think it's great that you recognize your limits....know what you can handle and what you cannot. I am wondering if you could benefit from counseling at all. What came to my mind was that I have encountered a few patients while I was a nurse who were suffering with chronic pain, and I remember them talking about how much success they had with different types of therapies they were utitlizing on the recommendation of their therapist. I can't remember if it was a psychiatrist or a counselor, but I remember being really impressed at how much success they had found by using these techniques. I know your situation is not the same, but I still wonder if therapies like that might help you. I'm definitely thinking that if I run into problems like you have when I finally get to the place you are, I will investigate any avenue available to find some relief. I apologize if this is something you've already talked about or tried. I just feel so bad for you.....I wish I could help you in some way! Don't lose sight of how far you've come either! You have been on Sub for a long time and on pretty high doses during that time, so over all.....you've done very well! I'm sure it feels like forever to you......Heck, it feels like forever to me at the two-year mark! But you are getting so close. I hope and pray that you can find a way to get some relief so you can finish this up and be done with it as comfortably as possible. And I'm sure sorry that it's been such a tough go for you.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 5:19 pm 
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Hey there Setmefree -

I think once you get down around 1 mg and below you do start to feel different and it can be a bit scary if you're not totally ready. I think once I got down to like .5 or so I really felt like I was starting to face things without medication. Even though sub is powerful and I was still on "some" i wasn't dosing 3 times a day and feeling that mood change of the dose. You start facing life again basically! It can be hard.

I was fortunate that the timing was right for me. Things were going well in all aspects of my life (as well as you can expect I mean). I think it's good you're working with a therapist. It might be good to just have that support and reassurance as you start dealing with feelings and emotions you haven't dealt with in a while.

Good luck, keep up the fight, and let me know if I can help. And don't forget it's worth it!


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 4:04 am 
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Wow, I am so happy for you that you made it to a year. I am on day 6 and the worst is no sleep. It's 3 am now and everyone is sleeping. :cry:

Have you gone to meetings or did other recovery related stuff?

Have you taken any meds for depression or anxiety after you stopped sub?

And how much different is life w/o sub? Like your smell coming back and everything being brighter and you notice nature a lot more. I stopped sub a while ago and that happened for me that's why I ask.

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU GIVE US ALL HOPE!


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 2:21 pm 
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Hi Zyggy,

Sorry I didn't see your post sooner. I only check in here once a month or so.

I went to a few meetings but didn't keep up with it. I'm sure they can only help but I just didn't feel like I needed them. I am lucky that my fiance and friends that knew what I was doing were really supportive.

I did take pristiq (anti depressent) while I was at the end of my taper and when I went off. Depression runs in my family and I wanted to make sure I wasn't trying to handle sub withdrawals and clinical depression all at once. I am off the pristiq now as I dont' think I really needed it and it caused me to gain some bad weight and lowered th ol sex drive. I don't know if the pristiq helped me get off or not but I'm pretty sure it did.

I always felt like my senses were muffled by the sub. So yes the world looks brighter, food tastes better, air feels fresher now that i"m off. I appreciate sunny days and can't wait to get out and do stuff. I love rainy days and can't wait to build a fire and get a starbucks and watch football. I enjoy work and enjoy building for my future....a future without pills.

Hope some of that helps.


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