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 Post subject: Over 2 months off sub!
PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2016 9:03 pm 
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Hello guys I have been around a few months since I got off subs haven't made a thread of my own yet, and I enjoyed reading other people timeline threads when I was coming off so I figured I'd make one.

Little background info, I started with pain pills very young and only stayed on them for about 6 months before moving to heroin, I was an iv heroin user for about 3-4 years I went to rehab twice in this time and relapsed the day I came home both times. The second relapse I decided I'd had enough and started taking suboxone. I didn't really have any plan to be on it for a long time or any real plan to get off either I just knew I needed to be stable and be able to build a life. It helped me do just that I was able to slowly move away from all the negative influences in my life and start building a career. I ended up staying on subs for over 5 years. Starting with around 6-8mg a day and settling out at about 2-4 mg a day before I did real taper. I wanted to get off sooner but was always petrified of withdrawals and keeping my job, mostly due to horror stories online. I tried tapering once and got down to right under 1mg and ended up getting a new job and tapered back up again ontil I was established at the new job. My final taper I went from the 2-4mg a day to right about .5-.6mg in the span of about a year. Yeah probably shouldn't have taken that long but I personally had a really hard time getting to lower doses due to taking the suboxone 3-4 times throughout the day. I took all of my vacation for the year which added up to about 16 days in a row and made the plunge!

Around the second day off I worked myself up a lot reading horror stories and wasn't mentally prepared to deal with the withdrawal and ended up taking a small piece of sub, and since I only had a limited time before I had to be back at work I felt really guilty about it and distraught. That night I looked up everything I could find online to help with withdrawal from techniques to kill time to withdrawal ease suppliments to kratom. I ended up ordering a bunch of suppliments and some kratom. The next day I took a large dose of kratom and got really high, again I felt really guilty about this and did a lot more research on the substance, I decided to throw all the kratom away in the trash, and just stick with the suppliments.
Well that night the anxiety and insomnia hit me pretty bad and the old addict in my decided to fish a small amount of the kratom out of the trash."lol" I took a really small dose and felt fine about an hour later. The next morning withdrawals returned and I stuck it out till night again and continued to take a small dose at bed time each night to get through.

I was really worried I was just prolonging my withdrawal and I wouldn't be able to return to work when my vacation was up. After 8 nights I decided I needed to just stick it out and get off the kratom since essentially it works the same as an opiate. To my suprise my symptoms never got worse just stayed relatively the same as the days previous. I struggled to sleep for a while after that and lack of energy but nothing horrible.

By the time I had to go back to work I still wasn't sleeping great but felt almost fine during the day. Going to work actually helped to keep my mind off of everything and no one I work with was the wiser. I had pulled it off!

Sorry for the essay, but fast forward to today and it's been 8-9 weeks since I've been off suboxone, work is going great sleep is great, energy still a little low but gym is going great and I couldn't be happier. The horror stories kept me from doing what I should have a while back, so don't make the same mistake I did!


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2016 9:48 am 
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Hi Impala, what a great story! I am hoping that one day soon I will be following in your foot steps! I started at 24mgs and have tapered down to 4mgs per day. 2mgs in the am and 2mgs in the pm. I know that I need to get to taking one dose per day however, it does really help with the pain associated with osteoarthritis. I have heard so many stories about kratom good and bad that it makes me nervous. I don't want to just get hooked on a different substance! Thank you for sharing your story! Please keep posting so we know how you are doing! Have a wonderful day!


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2016 9:54 am 
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Impala what a great post, I enjoyed ur journey (well not enjoying ur rough times lol but u know what I mean). I've saw growth in ur responses over the last month and the advice u give others and it's very cool. This forum needs ppl like that who's off and living life. I know it's inspiring to me for sure.

Internet horror stories are really hard because it'll scare ya half to death and really hold u bk. I remember just googling an antibiotic once and I regretted it after about 4 minutes lol it had me thinking I'd fall over dead if I continued taking it. It can get to be way too much.

Anyway, I just wanted to comment and tell u how great I think ur doing and I also wanted to say please keep sharing ur journey.

And Michelle, it's also very inspiring how ur tapering journey has went! U guys rock :)

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 25, 2016 1:31 pm 
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Thanks for the encouragement Jen and Michelle, I really appreciate it! Michelle as far as the kratom I felt the same way I read so many stories it made my head hurt, I really wouldn't reccomend it to most people since it would just have been so easy to keep taking it and swap addictions, dangerous to say the least but it did help me. As far as the taper I never could get down to 2 doses a day I got down to taking about .2mg 3 times a day at the lowest. It was just something I struggled with a lot. But I did get it done so I wouldn't worry too much about dosing twice a day you should be able to taper pretty low and still dose that way.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 9:20 pm 
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Little update around day 70ish no suboxone, first time I've been sick in years where I wasn't on opiates, got a cold or flu or something of that nature. Can't stop thinking of taking something to make myself feel better lol. I won't give in to temptation but it's definately there. Anyone on the road of recovery should try and mentally prepare themselves for the bad days, being sick, depressing occurance, etc, all things we would have normally delt with by using something can be a trigger for relapse.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 10:21 pm 
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Hey Impala,

Really appreciate your posts and honesty in your journey.
I recall from an earlier post of yours that you've cut cut cut out all your access and contacts and made significant life changes so that's important. Yep, life comes our way and stresses happen. Imo, for addicts, its the most natural thinking to go back to wanting some kind of relief for those stresses. But in time, over time, with time, that significantly lessons...Mentally & emotionally over time, I kept feeling better and better. There are times where I still want relief but I find it through non drug means altho I do enjoy a glass of wine now and then.

Also, even as far out as you are at 70 days, per reading Dr Js talkzone, it can take several mos for brain receptors to reform or heal. The physical was not my issue, it was the mental and emotional strengthening I had to acquire to stay drug free. Plus, I simplified life so when the unexpected 'life happens' kind of stressors come around, I'm able to handle them.

Have enjoyed your posts and reading of your growth in your now off bup recovery. Congrats. Best, P

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 30, 2016 10:52 pm 
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Thanks for the post pelican! And the encouragement. Yes I would have no way to get anything even if I decided to so I'm sure that helps lol. But like you said it's a process to learn how to live sober, hadn't thought about getting sick and how it would affect me mentally up ontil now. As far as the detox I'd say I'm about 90-95% all physical symptoms have been gone a while and I'm starting to get my energy back and not be so sluggish. I remember when I was detoxing seeing people say the hard part was staying sober and I'd always think to myself "that's bullshit this is the hard part". I'm starting to understand the life changes I need to make to stay sober and see why so many people in recovery said staying clean was the hard part. It's definately not impossible and something I'm willing to do anything for, you just have to be prepared for it and learn different tools to help you along the way!


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2016 9:11 am 
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I completely agree about addicts not wanting to feel sick or bad for one min lol. I can't believe how much I've changed on that, I remember being sick with the flu or heck just being pregnant 3 times.....couldn't imagine being able to deal with those same scenarios today. It's weird how addiction changes u in that way isn't it?

Great job and keep the updates coming!

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 23, 2016 4:11 pm 
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Update! Over 3 months now suboxone free! Last week I went to Texas and did industrial firefighting school long hot days lots of stress and hard work, but I'm proud to say everything went extremely well. Didn't struggle with any low energy or sleep problems actually felt great after each day of hard work. I got sick again with a sinus cold or something, and dealt with it a lot better than I did a month ago no real cravings or thoughts of relapse. Overall doing very well in my recovery hope everyone else is succeeding in theirs!


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 23, 2016 4:35 pm 
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Awesome update impala! I'm sure it'll just keep on getting better and better! :)

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 16, 2016 9:32 pm 
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This is amazing you got your life back. Never did Iv but your amazing keep it up


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2016 3:53 am 
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Awsome read! I'm on day 11 and I was positive at first but not so much now. Will I ever feel normal again and if so how long?


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:29 pm 
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Congrats man!

Interesting perspective on how horror stories made making the jump more difficult for you.

Everyone goes through withdrawals differently, for sure. But I will say that there was definitely a lot of pain and anxiety that was imagined by me because I was so worried about not having anything in my system.

In short, a lot of my anxiety was caused by me.

So I hear what you're saying. My withdrawal was nothing like the scene in "Trainspotting." It wasn't a nightmare, just a source of discomfort for a good while.

Congrats on a couple months! Keep it up, you sound like you got a great thing going for your recovery.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:37 pm 
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evertking wrote:
Awsome read! I'm on day 11 and I was positive at first but not so much now. Will I ever feel normal again and if so how long?


11 days? Amazing! I remember getting 11 days and thinking "I haven't been without subs/oxies/heroin this long in four years."

It made me really proud.

And yes, it absolutely gets better.

Think of it this way: every day, you're going to feel better. Every day, you're going to improve. Because every day is another day you've made the jump.

Every day, you have that much more reason to be proud and to feel stronger.

You count the days now, but eventually, you stop counting all your clean days. I lost count after a while. (Of course, I still remember my jump date. But I once actually got that wrong by a month and told some friends that they were wrong about my jump date... I felt like a jerk when I realized I was the one wrong. Haha.)

Focus on the positive and do the things that make you feel good. Be easy on yourself. Don't beat yourself up. You can do it!


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 9:56 pm 
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evertking wrote:
Awsome read! I'm on day 11 and I was positive at first but not so much now. Will I ever feel normal again and if so how long?
im also at two months. No sleep, sneeze 50 times a day are kinda my only symptoms. Maybe little back ache. Its not easy quitting for sure


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