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PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:37 am 
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Well said.Still deciding if its for me or not.Next meeting,may go to Thur night one,I am just putting it out there.If I am accepted...great.If not...I know its not where I belong.I did ask the secretary what the feeling was and he said he knows there are ppl on it but its up to me if I decided to partake in clean time.Im not going to participate in a group if I cant share about Sub since its a huge part of my recovery.Im coming up on 30 days tomorrow.I have gone 30 days in the past,by choice and lack of pills, but never like this! This is a WHOLE 30 days that I was not tortured by the thoughts of using! To be free of my addictive behavior for 30 days is so freeing!

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 9:52 am 
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Melijm,

You sound like you're doing so good, you're coming up on 30 days clean and that's awesome!! I remember after being on Suboxone for a little while thinking, "I never thought this was possible, I NEVER thought I would be able to break my active addiction", it is a sensational feeling to be free of active addiction!! I'm SO happy for you. Keep on kicking butt!!

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 10:50 pm 
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Thanks Romeo! Means alot.Just got home from my NA meeting.4 th time.I had to share and get this Sub issue off my chest.Mind you,I am no wheres near ashamed in my choosing to use this and its been a godsend for sure! Anyway,when it came my turn to share,I just laid it out there.I like this group and want to be able to share and not be judged etc...They were all very welcoming and understanding.What a relief! After me,other ppl shared about Sub.Wether they have been on it or still am on it.I got the most from someone who was on it 2 yrs and was on his second day off.They are pushing me to get a sponsor and my husband says I dont need one.LOL.Not to take sponsorship away from someone who "really needs it" since Im doing good with the Sub and going to NA and Al Anon.Not sure what my feelings are about that.I have a friend who is still in active addiction and it feels good to be able to talk to her and there is nothing I can tell her that she hasnt thought about or have done.To me that is very therapeutic! She has an appt to see my Sub Dr soon and I will take her,my point is Im not sure if I need a sponsor to talk to since I have good support without one.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2011 2:14 am 
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Well done meljim!

In my experience, most groups are fairly welcoming of people on "drug replacement". The times I was in NA while on Suboxone though, for some reason as the months went on I felt a bit ashamed for being on Sub, and I felt some unspoken pressure to reduce. ie in my country people must refer to it as "drug replacement" - implying it's replacing one drug with another. Also when people ID, they're meant to say "reducing off drug replacement", to show that you're "working on it".

It's good that you've told people, as honesty is a massive part of 12 step recovery, and recovery as a whole. But for it to work in the long run, I'd suggest you don't refer to it too often, and consider it more a part of your medical program than your 12-step recovery. If you can, separate it from NA as much as you can.

For some reason, I felt like I couldn't get "real recovery" while I was on Suboxone. I felt like there was no point in working the steps while I was on Suboxone because I'd need to start it all again when I was off it. And most importantly, I hated the fact I wasn't considered "clean" because I was on "drug replacement", and I couldn't ID as clean. It's because of that that I did massive rapid reductions off methadone and subutex / suboxone multiple times in the rooms.

But I wasn't very smart. If you remember that your recovery is your recovery, you'll do great. Stay strong.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2011 10:57 am 
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Hey meli,

I'm glad you got a good response from the group, that's excellent!! It took courage to share like you did and I'm proud of you. Because you spoke up about it, you may have planted the seed of knowledge in another struggling opiate addict that there is a path out.....I'm very, very proud of you for doing what you did.

As far as a sponsor goes, take your time. I've been in NA for about 4 months now and have already dumped 2 sponsors. The first guy didn't have enough clean time and he should have never accepted my request for him to be my sponsor. The second guy, well, I didn't really spend enough time getting to know him first and it ended up we were not at all on the same page. As of right now, I'm not getting another sponsor. I've had several senior members offer to go over my step work with me when I'm ready and to help me with my step work if I need it and seeing as that's what a sponsor is supposed to do, help you through the steps, I'm fine with not having one.

In my opinion, a good support group is way more important than a sponsor. If you think you have a good support group, then roll with it.

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