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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2008 3:34 pm 
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Where to start?

I am an addict. I started taking pills at about age 30 as a self-medicating bright idea for my depression after an experience with the euphoria i got from percocets that I took for 7 days of kidney stones.

Anyway, I used off and on for a few years, detoxing, withdrawals, etc... and graduated to an an addiction of about 250 mg of oxy a day and about 15 to 20 mg of xanax a day.

Oh man, that xanax kick was the worst and i will take an opiate kick any day of the week over that. the docs gave me depakote and some other thing to prevent seizures.

Moving on, at that point, I started going to AA with some success put together a few three years sober. made great friends, made amends, learned a lot about myself. got a life and grew up a bit, but I could live without the religious end of things. But it was all good.

Then I herniated two discs in my neck last October. you can see what is coming. i struggled with the intense pain for three to four weeks and nothing worked. heat, ultram, motrin, epidurals; nothing. In comes the vicodin, doctor prescribed.

After about two weeks on the vikes the pain did finally subside. And I went on a week's bender after that and then back to the program, hat in hand , tail between my legs "Hi, I'm coming back " All the applause and welcome backs I never did understand. It's good to be welcomed back, but please don't applaud me for doing something stupid, but I guess people are happy you're alive and back.

Two months later, All i was doing one morning was stretching my arms and WHAM, the discs exploded (or whatever they do) and the excruciating pain was back. And off I went , back to the orthopedist, the physical therapy, and the pain manangement doc for more epidurals. And percocets, because, again, nothing else was touching the pain.

This goes one for about a month or so, i rule out surgery because i'm still new on the job. The pain lessens, but the percocet use increases. The docs all seem to look at my MRIs an say "yeah, this is bad". But I'm, at this point, ok without the percs. Except now I'm hooked so i keep going for refills. It is May now and keeping that full-time job of the getting the pills, buying some oxys from old connections, being broke because of it, missing lots of work (Great quote needed here from the movie Office Space: "Peter, you've been missing a lot of work lately". "Well, I wouldn't exactly say missing it , Bob")

Basically, I'm using large doses of percocets, 60 to 140 mg at a clip, sometimes more with oxys. During the week, a little less.

My cousin last week gets me 5 8mg Suboxones. I wait the 24 hours and take a 2mg chip and feel fine until the next morning. I take another 2 mg chip and feel fine until 3 am when I wake up with the dreaded RLS ( took 2mg of xanax that night also to help sleep). So I take another 2mg chip at 3 am. Again I am fine all the next day (Monday and well into Tuesday when I get my percocet script refilled.

Ok, i got 75 10/325s on Tuesday. Today is Friday, they're all gone. I still have the 4 8mg Subs. I plan on waiting 24 hours, taking 4mg and then 2mg whenever i think I need it everyday, at least until next week, refill time.

I would appreciate any advice, observations, call me a dumbass, whatever. Just wondering, really if such a low dose is working so well or did I not give it enough time?

I can get more 8mg Subs, $20 a piece. but I really, absolutely cannot afford to lay out the money the Sub docs in my area want.
I guess the addict in me is wondering if I can use subs during the week and get high on the weekend. but I'm thinking I really just need to stay on the subs, tell the doc thanks, but no more percs, i'm ok now, and just clean up.

I hope this posted this in the right forum.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 11:49 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:09 pm
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Once you’re on the Subs for a while it won’t matter what you take…you’re not going to get that high any more. The only thing you will get is dead because you’ll take more and more thinking you’ve built up a tolerance and that you need more to do the same thing. But that one more will be the one that will do it.
Stay on the Subs and work on the “Hole in you” that I wrote about in the post about Labels. See if that rings a bell at all.
We’re all in this together although it seems like we’re alone.
Rae


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Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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