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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 2:05 pm 
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After being on Methadone for over a decade I started Subs almost two weeks ago. I weaned down from 80mg to 30mg at 5mg a week. I dosed 30mg Meth sat night at 9mp and took 4mg Sub on Monday morn at 9am. The withdrawals where very tolerable...mild in my opinion. I took another 4mg Sub at 12 noon Monday and another 4 Mg at 6p for a total of 12 Mg Sub to deal with the withdrawal. I felt hyper and anxious,had a horrible headache and couldn't sleep the first three days. I cut my dose to 8 Mg the fourth day and with the help of Benadryl slept at night and the headache went away. Over the last week I've weaned down to 4mg without feeling a thing. I don't feel a thing on Subs. I think the Meth covered up a lot of anxiousness that the Sub does not address,in my case. I've felt a lot of social anxiety coming to the surface and have spent the last couple weeks mostly at home. I don't relate to people who feel sedated or sleepy on this med, it makes me feel hyper and a bit detached. My goal is to get down to a low dose and hopefully wean off. I don't take any other meds or drink. I've been relying on drugs or alcohol to help with social anxiety issues and shyness for over 45 yrs...I don't know who the "real" me is!


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 Post subject: "The real me"
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 12:19 am 
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I know what you mean about social anxiety. I have always been very shy and it seemed like when I started taking opiates I became the fun out going gal. The job I have requires I be a "meet and greet" kind of person. Do tradeshows always be in a fantastic mood and smiling and I was able to do that on meds. As time went on I realized I was also hiding all my problems, money, work,relationship issues under those drugs . When money and bills got overwhelming I took more meds so I could feel numb. If I had a big meeting or a function with a lot of people I took even more. I started suboxone on Monday and this has been a very rough week. i feel okay physically but my life I have realized is a little too "clear" for my comfort. I am not ready to deal with all of this responsibility without a crutch! I don't remember how to take care of things without "numbing" first. Problems didn't seem as big and boy are they.

If it weren't for the subs and I tried to go off the pain pills cold turkey on my own I would never have made it past Tuesday. The subs don't numb me but at least I'm not sick and dealing with physical pain on top of all the problems I have been ignoring.

I have been so emotional this week. I have had some side effects from the subs so those are amplified when you have two teenage boys saying "whats for supper" "can we do this or that" , "he won't let me on the computer". I just want to yell out and say yeah but you don't know what I'm dealing with!!

Dealing with everything is the problem that is going to hold my rocovery in an up and down battle.

Where do you start to try to be the real you if you don't know who that is?

How do you fix all the stuff you have let go and it's so far gone now you can't.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 3:26 am 
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Hey Sub Zero and sonsshine, welcome to the forum!

Boy, can I ever relate to what both of you are talking about. The social anxiety is a big one for me too. After many, many years of drug abuse, which started in my mid teens, I seem to have lost or never learned the finer points of being social. Drugs and their abuse lead us to isolating ourselves, we are most comfortable when we isolate, we've taught ourselves over the years to isolate ourselves from the world around us and now we have to un-learn all those behaviors. Trying to figure out "who we are again" (at age 43 for me) is a chore and I also find it somewhat embarrassing?? Oh Well, it's where I am and I have to find a path forward.

My social anxiety didn't peak when I got on Suboxone, it got worse when I got off of Suboxone. Learning to deal with the chaos that are my thoughts, without any drugs whatsoever, well, it's a challenge. It takes time, practice and patience. What's been working for me is "putting myself out there", living life, so to speak. I started attending NA meetings here a couple of weeks ago and I am FINALLY getting up the nerve to talk to people. I seem to not have too hard of a time talking to women, it's not the easiest thing in the world for me to do, but it's easier then talking to the men. I went to a meeting tonight, only to find out it was cancelled, but there were many of us who never "got the memo" so we all just hung out in the parking lot and shot the shit for about an hour. I finally was able to talk to a couple of men my age and it was cool. Actually, it was more than cool, it was like, PHEW, FINALLY.....I broke through some kind of barrier and I'm now comfortable talking to several people at my meetings.

I guess I'm saying to keep living. Don't hole up and hide away. Take it slow if you have to, but don't give up. I've been working on this issue for a long while now and I'm happy with some of the progress I'm finally seeing.

I also wanted to quickly add this, this forum is basically a recovery forum. 95% of the topics revolve around getting on Suboxone, maintaining oneself on Suboxone or the discontinuation of Suboxone.....it's nice to see a topic that, while it still involves Suboxone or Methadone, seems to deal with a little broader scope as it relates to recovery. I know most of us addicts suffer from a host of mental "issues", probably the reason we used in the first place, it's just nice to be able to talk about a different subject that is still definitely recovery based.

Good luck to you both, you're not alone in how you feel.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 9:38 am 
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Hi Son and Romeo,
I'm sure I started using to cover up feelings of inadequacy as a pre-teen. Now at 53 I feel overwhelmed in public. Noise seems too loud...lights too bright...it's hard to make "small talk" when I just want to numb myself to it all.
I relate with what you said Son, about taking more to face a social situation. I feel awkward...not knowing what to say or how to act. I got through it with other opiates..Sub doesn't work that way for me. I feel like the "real" awkward me is having to face the world now. And it's only going to get worse when I stop using everything? Yikes!


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:54 pm 
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Your story is very similar to mine. My last dose of Meth will be this Friday. Subs start Monday. I have to say, I am more nervous about the 2 days or so with nothing, more than the after affects of Subs. I have also been on Meth for long time 8 years. How do you feel with the Subs? If you could share your exp with me I would so appreciate it.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 5:54 pm 
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Hi LauraL3,

I'm curious, are you doing your induction onto Suboxone in your Doctor's office Monday? Has he switched people from Methadone over to Suboxone before??

Most opiates on the market are short acting, they clear out of your system pretty quickly and you can get on Suboxone without having to wait too long, usually less than 24 hours.

Methadone is a long acting opiate though, it takes longer to clear out of your system. I think if you quit Methadone Friday and don't start Suboxone until Monday that you'll be OK, but it's not really so much about how much time has passed, it's more about how much wd your in. You really need to be in mild to moderate wd.

That's why I was asking if you were gonna start Suboxone while in your doctor's office and if he had ever switched anyone over before.

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