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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 8:49 am 
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Just as my title suggests, Ive been weaning off suboxone for a month or so now.

I started from 12mg a day, to eventually peaking at 16-24mg daily.

Im approximately on 15 months or so with my experience with the drug Suboxone. I was addicted to pain killers and was taking from anywhere from 60 to 200mg a day, Percs, Hydro, etc. . Im extremely excessive at anything I do, plus a pretty big (good looking, haha) guy, so the doctor originally started my 24mg of suboxone right from the beginning but I never used the full amount consistently. If I had a bad day I would take the extra, or even if I lacked energy I would take more.

I decided that I would have to face this time sooner or later and now especially since my so called doctor discharged me over some frivolous BS, I decided instead of finding another doctor, I would take what I had left,(thank God I had many extra) and wean myself off.

About 45 days ago I began taking 8mg a day. I noticed unbelievably, that I had handled it well. I would say anything more than 16 gms is over kill and here I was at 8mg perfectly fine. I allowed myself to take 8mgs a day for a couple weeks and then finally drop down to 6 mg's for a week.

At 6 mg's a week I got cocky, and couldnt wait to get down to 4mg's. I thought to myself, "Im really going to get off this poison!" But still I remained for the rest of the week. SO every week the plan was, to drop down 2mgs..

When I started on the new week at 4 mg's I didnt notice much of a difference till the fourth day. Strangely, I could feel my conscious, 'the normal me' kicking in and a little withdrawl like achy joints and my nerves and tolerance was very low for stressful situations...(I have kids, so imagine...) It was uncomfortable, and Im still not even sure if I like the way I feel normal.' I thought normal was how I felt when this stuff was in my system.

Down to 2mgs a day. I lasted four days, and decided to go back to four.

What Ive noticed now by taking less, at 4mgs currently, It takes longer for my body to absorb the medicine into my body. Im sitting here and Im just now feeling a little better from waking up and the last dose was yesterday morning at 5am, and today being Sunday the last dose was almost two hours ago. I still feel a little achy, but I certainly feel like I can cope with most of today.

Im going to shave roughly a gram off the 4 making it 3, which is kinda what ive been doing on and off this week. And eventually going to take it till Im completely off.

I've pretty much experienced every drug in the book, Ive abused alcohol, marijuana sometimes even cocaine at high levels in the past. But I never had withdrawals from any of those things. Painkillers however, is the worst drug Ive ever taken and had I known how highly physically addicted they we're I dont care how bad I was in pain from an injury, I would never take them.

Being an 'addict' from so many things, I respect those little pills more than any other substance. I dont experiment with drugs anymore and even alcohol is down to a minimum(drinking every now and then gives me a chance to escape from a hectic life, but even with it Im careful). THese pills have giving me a new perspective on what I do and to be careful what I put in my body.

I wish you all luck gettin off and would like to extend my support to anyone who needs. Hopefully I am notified by email and promise to come by and help support, as well as be supported.

I believe if we all as individuals work together, not feel so alone that we can help eachother get off this poison. At one time it may have seemed to save us, but all it did was trade one extreme to another. So to me it is a poison.

We need to believe that we can do it, and this stuff is not the way to live. Our bodies we're not meant to be ingesting these chemicals, but here we are. I feel that accepting our situation and coming to terms that we need to stop, and allowing support to share our struggles and success, that we can get off this junk, and any other stuff as well. I am not an advocate of AA, NA or anything like it. In fact, I dont like 12 step programs at all. But I am not against them, and that there is alot of great information in them to help stop. You have to have a strong mind, and if you truly need them programs consistently then by all means, your worth it, do it.

THank you for reading, may you all find your way...

M


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 Post subject: you can do it...
PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 9:11 am 
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hello there!

you can do it... you are mindfucking yourself out of it though! There is so much tied into taking painkillers... Im stressed, my kids are driving me nuts (I have 2), my job is boring, my wife/husband is nagging me, my in laws are coming over etc... the suboxone is a great tool to transition from short acting painkillers to nothing. I was on suboxone for a short period of time (about 3 weeks), but weened myself down and then stopped at about 1 mg. I was in a great mindset of how tough I am, that I can handle some discomfort, and it I keep putting it off, putting it off, it will never be behind me... well, I did it, and it has been easier than I thought. I stopped the suboxone about 3 weeks ago, and am very proud of myself. felt very off for about a week, but tolerable... made myself go to the gym, and kept repeating that I have been through worse, but when you add the title opiate withdrawal, it has a certain self pitying that accompanies it. if you really want this monkey off your back, you can do it, but you need to quite the chatter in your head, which as I said, is a total mindfuck. I finally had to realize that if i could have a billion pills and 10 years left to live, I would be fine, take em all and enjoy, BUT, thats not the case. I dont have an endless supply that justifies the counting, waiting, worrying etc... and I have a good 50 years left to live, sooooo, I had to make a choice, and that is it. I dont drink alcohol, can take any other drug, or leave it, enjoy weed, but again, i can take it or leave it, but really enjoyed opiates. I enjoy my life more though, and could not have both. will I ever take an opiate again? sure. but not for awhile, and not in the way, or mindset that got me into trouble... fortunately, I caught the problem early and did something about it. if you would like input, help, support or how I got my mind ready, let me know! you can do this though... I know kids can seem like the perfect excuse to take them, given how much energy, effort and concentration it takes sometimes to make it through the day, but you can do it!

best,
m


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 10:25 am 
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mikeny74 wrote:
Just as my title suggests, Ive been weaning off suboxone for a month or so now.

I believe if we all as individuals work together, not feel so alone that we can help eachother get off this poison. At one time it may have seemed to save us, but all it did was trade one extreme to another. So to me it is a poison.

We need to believe that we can do it, and this stuff is not the way to live. Our bodies we're not meant to be ingesting these chemicals, but here we are.


I can certainly empathize with the fact of being faced with withdrawal and I'm glad you chose to come and share what you're going through with us, however comments that imply that medication assisted recovery is trading one addiction for another are not welcome here. I honestly believe Suboxone has saved many lives here including my own so to call it "poison" has simply not been the case in my experience. I'm hoping that I've misunderstood what you were trying to convey but because of how often people have tried to shame me into quitting Suboxone I'm a little sensitive to comments of the sort. Please feel free to continue to share your experiences with us if you can do so in a manner that doesn't make others who've chosen medication assisted recovery feel less than those who've chosen abstinence based recovery and again I'm really hoping I misunderstood what you were trying to say.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 7:41 pm 
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Hey, I feel you. I am trying to get stable at 2 mg. I was dropping down very quickly at first too and believed I was amazing. Going from 3 to 2 got very, very hard. I am so motivated that I'm just letting myself be sick and it's darn bad, but if I had not started on Sub, I would have continued on pain meds and probably graduated to Oxy and who knows what else. I have three kids, so I do know what you mean. I know if I go down too quickly, I'll give up. That's really the key: taking it slowly. I personally could not do it w/o meetings. Those are my people and the only people who are (to me) normal. I have to go and lead a meeting Tues 'cause I said last week I would. I'm dosing twice daily (1 mg and 1mg) at 8am and 8 pm. Right in the middle, like now, is when I'm miserable: sweaty, diarrhea, nauseas, and just downright pissed off! :evil: I didn't even go to Father's Day...but I need this time and everyone is just going to have to deal with that and take a raincheck.

Good luck! We are stronger than we think, we can spin gold from the pain of all we've done wrong and lost, and we are strongest when we're in it together. Not one of us was asked whether we would like to be born an addict, and I know I've been an addict since I was born.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 7:59 pm 
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Don't be too hard on yourself for having trouble getting below 2mgs, or even below 4mgs for that matter. At 4mgs and up, Suboxone pretty much has all of your opioid receptors covered. We take a higher dose to make sure the receptors stay covered for 24 hours, and also to block the effects of other opiates, making it less tempting to relapse.

Now that you're down at a lower dose, some of your receptors are open, which is why you feel withdrawals. When you try to make a big jump down, like from 2mg to 1mg, that is probably too much all at once. If you can go slower, or make a smaller reduction, that should help. I do mine by dissolving the Sub in water so I can measure out smaller doses. Another way is to alternate doses - take 2mg one day and 1mg the next, alternate until you're comfortable there, then go to 1mg every day.

I'm down to half a mg per day. It's doable. Before I started the water method I had some withdrawal symptoms and took Clonidine which helped some. The water method has been better for me, but some people seem to do fine other ways. You have to figure out what works for you.

I like to remind myself that the shitty feeling is there because my body is readjusting itself to making its own endorphins. If you stick it out, eventually the withdrawal levels out.

You said you're not sure if you like the "normal you". Remember that you are in withdrawal, so this isn't really the "normal" you.

Get plenty of rest and exercise too, that will help a lot. I feel like a broken record, but seriously, make sure you break a sweat every day. Even just a brisk walk is good. I find that yoga really helps me, especially with the leg achiness. Hot tub/or hot baths are good too.

And when it feels too hard, remember how difficult (impossible) it was to taper yourself off full-agonist opiates. I was never really able to do that, I'd just keep using till I ran out and then go CT until I could get more.

You can do this.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 10:54 pm 
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Matt2 I noticed how sensitive you are to the comments made about suboxone substituting one drug for another or it being a pison or being a slave to it. I agree with you and I'll be correcting people bad opinions on this lifesaver along with you.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 1:05 am 
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It's not just that Matt is sensitive about those comments - those kind of comments are against forum policy. We want this board to be a place where people feel comfortable talking about being on Suboxone. There are enough places where we can feel shamed and guilty about being addicted to opiates and for our choice to be on Suboxone.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 12:56 am 
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Yes I read that in the forum rules. The Doctor really comes off good in his arguments on his tapes about that whole substituting one drug for another drug shit.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 1:38 pm 
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Wow...your story sounds just like mine. I wish you the best of luck in getting off the Suboxone. It's so hard. I tried 5 times to get off (twice on my own, 3 times I got a taper from my dr), and I couldn't do it. I'm currently on 4mgs daily and I'm honestly terrified to try again.
I know I sound like a complete downer and I apologize, but the good thing is that the last time I tried to get off I was completely off for about 5 miserable days, and I went back to my dr because I couldn't do it and he gave me the 4mgs to take. Once I took the first dose I can honestly say I was high...like nodding out and whatnot-from 4mgs!! So it actually was out of my system significantly. My dr also said that, and I've noticed this too, that the first 3ish days you are just TIRED all day..and then after that its gets bad (like the restlessness and insomnia, etc) but depending how long you have been on it, the symptoms may last longer. Now I was only off of it for about 5 days and it was majorly out of my system. I suggest waiting for a time when you can get off of it without it affecting work or anything (as you have kids, that's very hard and I wish you the best) but with me, I'm in college full-time and I have a pt job. If I ever get off of it I will do it during the summer when I have nothing really to do. Also, I suggest seeing a doctor about getting a nonnarcotic sleeping pill or something to help with insomnia (that to me was the worst). And I just want to add that I've also abused other substances in the past, like cocaine, ecstacy, speed, etc....and you are so right, nothing is as bad as withdrawal from painkillers/heroin/Subox. NOTHING. It's evil. But you're not alone, and so many people can help and relate to what you're going through. Don't ever give up---because it will only get better :)


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