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 Post subject: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 12:23 pm 
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Hello all..I am gonna try and keep a log of my jump, to help myself, and maybe others. I have taken sub for almost 18 months, never exceeding 3mg..usually took 2 or less..I tapered down to 1 mg, and decided it was time..I took my last dose 48 hours ago..I have lopermide and gapapentin, enough to get me thru another week or so..I need to be careful with both of these, as I know all too well what can happen. I have slept ok so far, right now I am at work, trying to keep moving, but the "lead suit" is slowing me down a little..right now that's my only complaint..I know I'm in for a few weeks of hammered "shift", but it is time to pay up. I have made up my mind, and that's that..time to buckle up, and start banking days..I hope someone can give me some encouragement, I feel like I am going at this al alone, my wife knows, but she is not ready...I am not ready to bow down to this crap anymore..I am pissed to tell the truth. .well that's that, I'll check back in later..this is day two and I don't feel great, but I can function.


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 12:50 pm 
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Hi OhmsLaw, Welcome to the forum!!!

Does your brain feel a bit like a conductor whose resistance is very high, not letting enough energy pass through? :wink:

So, you jumped from 1mg two days ago. 1mg is a pretty low dose, but you'll probably have some uncomfortable days, which you already know. That's good that you're aware of that, you can "gear up" for it.

Most people who jump from a dose similar to yours experience the worst of their wd between now and day 4 or 5, then it usually improves pretty quickly. I think the fact that you were on a low dose during your Suboxone therapy will only make things easier on you now, as far as wd goes.

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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 12:55 pm 
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Take it one hour at a time and just keep the end in mind. Knowing how wonderful life can be living it clean and sober is reward enough. You're on the way to recovering your life and healing your body. Keep up the good fight. You owe it to yourself.
-TMD


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 1:18 pm 
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Romeo- right now my brain feels like a conductor whose resistance is very LOW, letting megawatts of energy out of my brain..lol..as the hours pass I feel more and more "raw" as far as emotions go..this is the stuff I have tried to repress

TMD-I am trying to keep my eyes on the prize..I want to be that guy I was 18 months ago..I had around 3 years of clean livin, and I felt great..why I decided to do what in did I'll never know..the addict in me won I guess..but now it's time I get my shift together

Thanks for the replies...it helps and gives me strength..my wife said after I go through this, she wants to jump after Christmas..i always found excused to prolong it..I never push her to quit..it's useless I know.but when she's ready I'll be there to help her to the other side


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 10:45 am 
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Checking in early in day 3... today is Thursday and I took my last dose Monday morning...sleep never came last night..I got up out of bed, grabbed the iPad and watched netfix all night..by the time the sun was comin up, my stomach was raging..my skin was crawling..I took some lopermide and gapapentin and the worst subsided..now to decide whether to go to class or stay home..I think it would be better to get out of the house, no matter how bad I feel..I can't take laying around all the time..think I'll get my butt in gear and get to class..these are the easy days, tomorrow it's back to work for 3 days..fun fun..well i don't feel good, but I'm not dying..with the right mindset it's tolerable..I'll check back in later and see how everything is going then.. Right now it's just an hour or minute at a time..things are very slow and it takes a lot of energy for simple tasks, but I just keep thinking, I can't get to the other side, unless I go thru this unpleasantness first


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 1:07 pm 
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Good decision to get your butt in gear and go to class! I learned the hard way that sitting around is about the worst thing you can do. I know our brains sometimes scream to us to sit down and be still, but during wd, we have to override our brains and get up and move.

Keep fighting, man. Every hour you fight through it is one hour closer you get to feeling better.

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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 8:22 am 
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Day 4..didn't make it to class yesterday..as the day went on I felt worse..major case of the heebie jeebies..my skin was crawling..stomach was in knots..I just didn't feel like facing anyone..I know that wild look in my eye is a dead giveaway..but I actually slept last night, with no help..I had been up for around 24 hours..woke up at 5 am and actually don't feel terrible..yet..at work now..stomach is still in knots..lower back feels a little sore..I feel like I'm in a fog..but I'm here and I think I'll be ok.took some type of blood pressure medicine my wife gave me..she said my face was so red it looked like my head was gonna pop off..took gapapentin, holding on the lopermide for a bit..we'll see how it goes..when I get home I have to drag out the Christmas decorations and we are having a guest over..family member coming to whitetail hunt on our property..don't really feel like company but I'll make it..I'll check back later for an update


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2013 8:48 am 
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Morning of day 5..after work yesterday I was feeling pretty blah..we had a houseful of family over and I wasn't feeling it..so I took a couple of xanax's and then some lemonade moonshine was broke out..I drank a very small amount (I knew if I over did it id feel like death this morning, had to wake up at 5 am for work)..i try to stay away from benzo's but I made am exception since I was feeling so anxious and just felt like my skin was crawling. ..about an hour later I was sleeping..slept very soundly ( I can't imagine why:)..woke up and I don't feel that bad..but this happened yesterday..mornings seem ok but as the day goes more symptoms seem to arise..but right now things are ok..i am very anxious because I know these next few days will be when the really bad stuff will hit..I have Monday off then it's back to the races with work and school..( I work 36 hours a week and am carrying 14 hours at school)..I can't miss any work, and I can't miss anymore school..so whatever comes I'll take it one day at a time, and that's all I can do..sooner or later this will be over


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2013 3:20 pm 
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I have a feeling it will start getting much better either today or tomorrow. 7 days seems to be the magic number so you are very close. good luck, I know how hard it is!


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Sun Nov 17, 2013 9:27 am 
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l i v i n wrote:
I have a feeling it will start getting much better either today or tomorrow. 7 days seems to be the magic number so you are very close. good luck, I know how hard it is!

Morning of day 6..I took a chip off a 100mg seroquel last night and slept like the dead..had trouble getting up for work this morning, but once I was awake, I felt pretty damn good..now at work and the sluggishness is kicking in..other that yawning a lot, watery eyes, sneezing, the usual..I wish I could feel like I do first thing in the morning all day...but I think it's getting better..it is so hard to tell sometimes..one minute I think, hey I feel pretty decent...hour later I want to just lay down and sleep..but I am proud of myself..just knowing that the easy fix is in the bedroom in a drawer, but still not giving in..I actually don't "crave" subs..I just want to feel a little better..but I will.. The more days I put behind me the closer I am to being free..and being me again...thanks for the words of encouragement "livin"..that's all I want..just to live without being shackled by this substance or that substance..I'm getting there..just gotta finish paying my dues


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 1:03 pm 
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I'm on day seven off of Bup and still really hurting. Sleeplessness is by far the worst of my complaints. I'm going to try some Sonata that I had prescribed but never filled. I have to believe that by day 14, things have to get better. I can't imagine feeling like this every day for much longer. Please keep me posted on your progress. It's reassuring to know that you're getting through it one day at a time. Keep up the good fight. It will be so worth it in the end and the end isn't all that far off.

-TMD


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 3:28 pm 
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Hey Ohm, keep hanging in there. You will get better and better, it's just going to take some time. You're at the point in your wd where you kinda have to fake it until you make it. Make yourself get out and do things, even if you don't want to. Pretend to enjoy it, even if you're not.

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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2013 4:01 pm 
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TMD wrote:
I'm on day seven off of Bup and still really hurting. Sleeplessness is by far the worst of my complaints. I'm going to try some Sonata that I had prescribed but never filled. I have to believe that by day 14, things have to get better. I can't imagine feeling like this every day for much longer. Please keep me posted on your progress. It's reassuring to know that you're getting through it one day at a time. Keep up the good fight. It will be so worth it in the end and the end isn't all that far off.

-TMD


What dose did you jump from? A few months ago, can't remember now, my supply had ran out..no way to get anymore..I was dosing twice a day, probably around 4mg total..on day nine I felt like you do..I just felt like I could not take anymore of feeling like crap..I didn't feel like I was making any progress..I had no comfort meds..and at that time I had no intentions of quitting.on day 10 I was able or get more subs, and I picked up right where I left off..had I known that I was so close to being pretty much done with the acute phase, I would have stuck it out..but at that time I was just ignorant of the half life and all that..but hang in there..a lot of people say anywhere from days 5-9 or even up to 12 days are shit@y..today is day 7 for me too..and I have to say I feel pretty damn good..this is my only day off from work and school, and I've been up doing laundry, playing with my son (18 month old)..I'm outside doing some work around the house..nothing strenuous, but I am just keeping busy...the last two days were far worse..I think the difference between last time and this time are 1. I was prepared mentally and knew I was done, no matter how bad it got. 2. I have comfort meds- serequil for sleep (when needed), gapapentin (neurotin), and I had my wife get me a few xanax's to take when I need them..3. I jumped around 1mg..some will say that is still too high to jump from..but for me, I feel like I have turned a corner on the physical stuff..what is bad for me right now, is if I stop and lay around, bad thought come into my head..I think, maybe I could take a Vic or Norco or the like, and it would give me energy..but that I cannot do.i have to stop the xanax's soon too, because I've had a problem with those in the past as well..hell I like all drugs..but I have allowed myself to take a few here and there, just to get past the acut phase..if you can get your hands on something, anything, that will help u sleep, it will make a world of difference..I keep worrying that later today or tomorrow that BAD stuff will be here..but today it is not..and that I am thankful for..do I feel 100 percent? No 90? No but I feel better than I have..just keep banking days, stay away from all opiates..while a little Vicodin or something will give u temporary relief, I don't think your brain can heal until it is 100 percent opiate free..on the other hand, do what u need to do to get free of subs..I'm not saying start popping pain killers, but I would rather see everyone free of subs (those who are ready that is)..I know it is hard when everyone keeps saying "it will get better"..and you say to yourself, it's been 7 days and I still feel like crap..but for me , today is better than yesterday..just keep on keepin on, and one day in the very near future you are gonna wake up an think hey, I don't feel too bad!..just keep fighting man..you are almost there..don't suffer these days you have so far for nothing..make them count toward your freedom from subs..it will be sweet and worth it..you will be like a phoniex rising from the ashes with stronger wings than you've ever had..you have seen the darkness..keep moving toward the light..pm me if you want to chat in private or have any questions..I'm no expert, but we are both going through the same thing at the same time


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 6:18 pm 
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well evening of day 8..today has been a struggle..besides being cold all day (it is 30 outside, but I've been inside, either at school or home)..the physical stuff is pretty non existent..I'm still lethargic and unmotivated...but today has been really hard mentally..I feel so depressed..i just feel a void and can't find anything to fill it...I couldn't wait to get home from class, mind just wasn't in it..once I got home i wanted to leave..I broke out my acoustic for a bit, which during sub use i rarely did..I have played since I was 12 years old..going years sometimes without picking it up( during the heaviest of my drug use)..I did have a little fun playing but I just kept thinking, I am so bored, even tho I was doing something I have always loved..I tried listening to some phish and that helped a little, but I just feel so unhappy..but I shouldn't ..I'm beating this shit and I should feel good about that..this is when I get into trouble..not to dull the physical stuff, but to dull the mind..I am afraid I'm gonna get hooked on benzo's again so I gave what I had left to my wife and told her to get them out of the house..it's funny..subs are sitting in a drawer right beside me, and I have no thoughts of taking any..I just came to hate them so much I guess..so that's why I have to get other addictive shit away from me right now..I've been down this road too many times..I've kicked a healthy methadone habit cold turkey (by far the worse experience in my life), I kicked iv'ing oxy's in prison..it's funny...that's the best I felt in my adult life.lifting weights and just working out in General gave me such great feelings..I felt good, I looked good, and i stayed that way for over 2 years after my release..I hated drugs..many, many times I turned down getting high..I was so strong minded..then when my son was born, my wife got a script of painkillers..I always said no because I didn't want to disappoint her..but one day she said, do u want one? In my addict brain she was giving me permission to use again..since that day I have been back at it..that was 18 months ago..the same age as my son..she didn't realize i don't guess what kind of monster she was awaking by just offering me a painkiller (i had hurt my back at work)..I'm not blaming her..I made the choice, knowing I can't just take one and forget about it..I started taking subs after we both realized we couldn't afford to keep up the pill habit that came with a vengeance..anyway here I am 8 days off subs, depressed as hell, unmotivated, uninterested, and scared to death I'll pick up another habit..I just want to be like I was when I got out of prison..you couldn't force me to take a pill..I was very strong willed..I guess it will get better with time..I don't want to be an active addict any longer..for my son, for me, for everyone in my life..maybe tomorrow I'll feel a little better mentally..right now that's my Achilles heel


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 8:34 pm 
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Day 9..woke up feeling pretty good...slept well with a little help..went to work and was feeling fine till 11 am or so. Then I just got really tired and didn't feel like doing shit. Came home and pretty much ordered my wife to go get me some xanies...that didn't go over too well.. A big fight ensued, and I said things I didn't mean, she said things she meant..my brain is just not right..it doesn't know what to do..I don't know what to do..i have a void that needs filled..I guess it's gonna take more work than I thought..i figured I'd quit subs and life would be awesome..I'm old enough to know better, but sometimes I live in a delusional state of mind I guess..so physically I'll make it..it's all mental from here out..for those of you out there fearing the jump, don't..as long as you're not at a high dose, it's not that bad..I've been through FAR worse...if you're thinking about it, if you are ready, just do it..I made excuse after excuse..the timing was never right..well guess what? The timing is never gonna be right..life happens and doesn't stop just because you need time to withdrawal..the fear of jumping is far worse than the jump itself, IMHO.


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 12:24 pm 
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I jumped at 1mg and have been off completely for nine days. Physically, this was NOTHING compared to a cold turkey opiate WD. I'm guessing that he head won't feel right for at least a month and maybe two. It takes a while for the chemistry to reset and reach homeostasis (normalcy). This is a process but one that I am soooo ready for. Keep up the good fight.

-TMD


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2013 5:48 pm 
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TMD wrote:
I jumped at 1mg and have been off completely for nine days. Physically, this was NOTHING compared to a cold turkey opiate WD. I'm guessing that he head won't feel right for at least a month and maybe two. It takes a while for the chemistry to reset and reach homeostasis (normalcy). This is a process but one that I am soooo ready for. Keep up the good fight.

-TMD

Question..I almost broke down and took a spec I sub today..my addict brain said " you could take a tiny piece since you are over the physical stuff, just for today"..I was getting ready to take it
And my wife busted me, which I'm glad..but my question is, had I took say .25 mg or so, would it have reset the brain healing aspect??


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 1:58 am 
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You would absolutely set yourself back. I waited 1 month and finally gave into a "just for today urge" and felt terrible for the next two days. It may kick withdrawals right back in or will just make you feel regret the next day for doing it. This is the hard part! You have to wait it out for atleast a month to get your head right. If you slip like I did, you will only delay the process and make your hell last longer. You just stay off or get back on completely.


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2013 6:07 am 
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l i v i n wrote:
You would absolutely set yourself back. I waited 1 month and finally gave into a "just for today urge" and felt terrible for the next two days. It may kick withdrawals right back in or will just make you feel regret the next day for doing it. This is the hard part! You have to wait it out for atleast a month to get your head right. If you slip like I did, you will only delay the process and make your hell last longer. You just stay off or get back on completely.


Thanks..I figured as much..I gotta stay strong..today (or this morning) is day 11..I'm closing in on 2 weeks..a month ago I was wishing I was on day 10 or 14 or 6 months...lol..well work today and the next few..I'll keep checking in..today will be better than yesterday..like u say "livin", i got a couple more weeks till my heads right (well my heads never been right but I get ya, lol)

To anyone who has jumped, please listen to phish's "back on the train" off the farmhouse cd...even if you hate phish or have never heard of them, please humor me and listen to it..you'll get it when you hear i promise 8)


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 Post subject: Re: Ohms jump log
PostPosted: Sun May 11, 2014 9:47 am 
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You still around ohms..??


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