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PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2010 10:43 pm 
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I recently started reading suboxone detox message boards because I have been desperate to find anybody who has actually kicked sub. Having read an almost day by day journal of one man's life after sub which he detailed for a year, I felt so much better about my slow progress. Now I know that I'm not permanently damaged but that it just takes a very long time to recover from one year of sub after five years of methadone. If anybody wants to know the straight truth about what it was like to kick sub I would be happy to share my experience.


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PostPosted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:53 pm 
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Pioneer - Congrats on your clean time free from all opiates... I too have had some clean time free of all opiates....I quit cold turkey from using Oxycodone....as I did many times and it never was easy and never lasted.... I actually hit a bottom at some point and realized I couldn't stop on my own...So I entered NA and I actually accrued some decent clean time....for me to fill that void wasn't easy. It didn't happen over a few months..it took about 6 months for me to actually believe in myself again...but it still took daily working the program to continue feeling this way....I left the program after time thinking I was healed....and it didn't take me very long with no recovery in my life to relapse and relapse bad in my opinion. Suboxone saved my life this time around. So for me, if I quit Suboxone I would have to do something...such as NA to fill that void. But in my past experience once you lose that feeling of desperation and you left the program it's very difficult to go back unless the desperation is there... To listen to your opinion on how hard it was (i'm assuming that's where you are going) or someone else's opinion that states it's not that bad...These are all just opinions. And after reading several successful posts on this site alone it can't be no where as bad a quiting Oxycodone cold turkey..... Doesn't scare me a bit if I need to quit Suboxone....I'll taper properly if and when the time comes...and it will just be another withdrawal for the books...but from what I have read it will be a milder withdrawal...and I could totally deal with that....

Is it really one year from recovering from Subs? Or is it really one year of just learning to live life on life's terms?

I am curious.....Are you doing anything now for your recovery? Or just doing this on your own? The odds are really against us...so, I hope to hear you are either submersing yourself in some type of recovery.

SuperBuper


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PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 5:54 am 
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I posted a reply earlier but seem to have lost it in the ether. I posted at the end of the non-fulfilling AA thread as well since I had to go to meetings due to legal trouble. At this point I feel I am out of the woods and am wiling away the days, weeks, months? for my abject apathy and heavy fatigue to clear. I've pretty much been working my own program based on resolve and determination and made it despite all the warnings from the superstars that this very attitude would doom me to failure. I've read such a wide range of attitudes from sub maintenance to fear of relapse to opiate-free at any cost that I don't want to inadvertently mess with anyone else's program. I was willing to suffer incalculably to get clean and I did both. Now I am waiting for the "promises" to kick in.


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PostPosted: Wed May 05, 2010 10:52 pm 
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Maybe I am a moron but what are the "promises"?

Cherie


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PostPosted: Thu May 06, 2010 8:54 am 
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Pioneer - I actually took the time to read your other posts...I'm usually up-to-date on this forum but this past week was rough with stomach bugs in the family.. Anyways, from reading your posts it looks to me like your mind is set in your ways. I can only share with you my experience. My entire life in active addiction I never lost anything major such as family, house, job or anything. I really thought I was healed at some point and figured I had grown up and this will never happen to me again. I did well by myself for quite some time well over a year.....I was seeing a therapist twice a month during this time though. Then life just showed up and things were rough for a few days than ended up turning into months... Stress was building and I still didn't see a relapse in sight. It happened so fast and so unexpected. I found myself in a situation where I just didn't give a crap and picked up. This time around I would have lost my wife and more if I haven't found Suboxone. It sounds to me like you may not believe this is a disease and we have no control over it. It took a nasty relapse for me to figure it out. So for this addict, I know I have a disease. I'm lucky today that there is treatment for this disease. Suboxone is a wonderful medication that as saved my life and I am forever grateful. I really wish you well and good luck with staying clean.


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PostPosted: Thu May 06, 2010 12:38 pm 
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SB I would probably still be on low-dose methadone if it hadn't been causing agonizing stomach aches that lasted for weeks. Several ER visits and expensive tests informed me I had an impacted colon probably caused by the constipating effects of methadone. A particularly painful abdominal event brought me back to the ER where I was informed I had appendicitis and operated on immediately. I was in such a hurry to sort out my GI problems that I switched to sub rather than finish my methadone taper in order to hasten my detox. I am not some highly determined superman but a guy who hates pain and will do anything to make it stop. I didn't have any choice but to quit opioids. Once my options were eliminated there was nothing left to do but jump and endure. Now that the worst is over, I am finally beginning to feel grateful for my sobriety and less resentful about the effort it required. I expect the best rewards or "promises of AA" are just on the horizon. What choice do I have but believe?


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PostPosted: Fri May 07, 2010 10:22 pm 
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pioneer wrote:
I expect the best rewards or "promises of AA" are just on the horizon. What choice do I have but believe?



Well Pioneer, I just hope you find some type of recovery. Was five years the total amount of time you were using opiates? Also, could you please explain what you mean by your quote above? Thanks, SuperBuper


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PostPosted: Sat May 08, 2010 4:51 pm 
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BP
I was on oxycontin for five years following a series of injuries and surgeries. I tried to quit several times with no success. Then I switched to methadone as a more stable (longer half-life), non-euphoric pain management platform. More surgeries stalled my taper and stretched my methadone use to five years. I have always had a recovery plan and communicating with other recovering addicts is part of it be it through AA/NA meetings or this newly utilized ODR forum. I have found this tremendously beneficial as I have never met a recovered sub user at any meeting in my community. "The Promises of AA" are often read at the beginning of meetings along with "How it Works" and "The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" and are in the big book. They are the rewards you can expect if you follow the 12 steps "even before you are halfway done."
I started suboxone strictly with the intention of easing/avoiding the expected 6-9 month withdrawal period typical of methadone. I walked away from a methadone maintenance program twenty years ago, cold-turkeying 30mg, so I am no stranger to lengthy wds. Clean and sober was always my goal and I know from experience if you do right long enough good things will come to you. That's what AA says and that's what life has taught me.
Now that I have been exposed to more viewpoints concerning sub I have become an advocate for its use for detox or maintenance provided the patient is well and thoroughly informed before starting. I believe that lack of information or misinformation is the source of much resentment for the subsux crowd of which I used to be a member. I was told without exception by four doctors and two clinic representatives while I was doing my due diligence that sub wd was five days of mild to moderate flu symptoms and then you are fine.
Clean and sober 287 days. Today is a good day to live.


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