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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2012 2:59 pm 
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Hi everybody, I just wanted to let you in on who I am and what Ive been through. I want to start off by telling you, I have been around addiction my whole life. My fathers side of the family drinks alcohol like its water. and I was 5 years old, could have a shirt with beer spilled on it, and could tell you right away what that smell was. I am currently on 16 mg's of buprenorphine per day. when I first got prescribed the clonazepam for anxiety issues (which I thought were worse than they actually were, apparently we dont realize it until after we look at it in the rearview, not ALL of us, but some), and when I looked at the prescription, a big part of me..excuse me, MOST of me wanted to say look Dr &^%*&*, I am on subutex because I have had problems with addiction in the past. DO NOT give me this, I KNOW its addictive...WELL, I thought i could manage, and somehow thought that I was "special" and that it would be fine.
I remember when I took my first dose...the anxiety was completely GONE...and eventually it got to a point after a few months, where I would have to take more to mainain the desired effect. so my dr, bumped me up to 4 mg's, then 5 mgs..then one month he put me back down to 3 mgs per day, then the next month he kicked me off. His nurse said it was because I failed for a trace of THC about 5-6 months back or so, and because I "asked to have my dose increased" Which HE INCREASED IT! well, he decided that taking me off of the 3mg clonazepam, was a good choice on his part..Ive tried talking with him about it, he wont call me back when I request to have him do so, instead, he has his nurse call me back and tell me, why Ive been such a horrible patient.
It goes to show, how much some doctors care....meaning: hes trying to save his own A$$, while making mine suffer. I just want to let you know that the first week was fine, then I had a appointment with my Psychiatrist/Sub Doctor. I Told him that I came off of 3 mg's of Klonopin per day, and that I havnt experienced any of the horrible withdrawals, and in fact, at that point, I hadnt...until about 3 days after that. that is REALLY depressing. I thought I was going to be fine, then I had a slight convulsion...I was wide awake for it, was coherent, had all of my other cognitive skills, and THAT is what made it scary. The convulsion NEVER happened again after that. I decided that I will NO LONGER take ANY benzodiazepine, and if they try to treat it with another, Never again do I want to go through this. Its the worst feeling in the world and I cant decide on whether or not its worse than Opiate withdrawal. (Both are serious in their own ways and apparently under rare circumstances, Benzodiazepine withdrawal can be deadly). Take a tip from me, if the doctor tells you "We can try Klonopin" for whatever reason, dont do it. I would NEVER wish this on anybody else...I am in the midst of week 2 or 3 (my days run together due to the fact that I only sleep when I finally crash) and I am still suffering greatly, and yet I NEVER feel tired, when I know my body is in dire straits and NEEDS to be rested. anybody have any tips for getting through the withdrawal a little easier? I am past the absolute worst of it and I know need help. I have been flipping out on my mom (who is the most wonderful person I know and BOY does she have patience) whom I have never even raised my voice to in my entire life. I am not myself. And I pray and hope that one day, one day soon, I can be back to normal. Just letting this out even helps me a bit. Ive been reading and looking at suboxonetalkzone and suboxforum for years and I decided Im not making a cute nickname. I am who I am, and Im not afraid to let you guys know. I am a REAL person sharing a very real experience. anyhow I just wanted to let you guys know the dangers of it all, seeing how there isn't much that touches on the subject at Suboxone Talkzone...Thank you VERY much for reading this you guys, Its greatly appreciated. And remember the next time you are prescribed Alprazolam, Diazepam, Clonazepam, or Ativan, Zanax, Klonopin etc. just remember what I went through...I wish I could give you some kind of physical projection of what you would feel like if you were in my boots...if I could, I promise you would never even think of trying them. :shock:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 18, 2012 4:42 pm 
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JoshGaffney wrote:
Hi everybody, I just wanted to let you in on who I am and what Ive been through. I want to start off by telling you, I have been around addiction my whole life. My fathers side of the family drinks alcohol like its water. and I was 5 years old, could have a shirt with beer spilled on it, and could tell you right away what that smell was. I am currently on 16 mg's of buprenorphine per day. when I first got prescribed the clonazepam for anxiety issues (which I thought were worse than they actually were, apparently we dont realize it until after we look at it in the rearview, not ALL of us, but some), and when I looked at the prescription, a big part of me..excuse me, MOST of me wanted to say look Dr &^%*&*, I am on subutex because I have had problems with addiction in the past. DO NOT give me this, I KNOW its addictive...WELL, I thought i could manage, and somehow thought that I was "special" and that it would be fine.
I remember when I took my first dose...the anxiety was completely GONE...and eventually it got to a point after a few months, where I would have to take more to mainain the desired effect. so my dr, bumped me up to 4 mg's, then 5 mgs..then one month he put me back down to 3 mgs per day, then the next month he kicked me off. His nurse said it was because I failed for a trace of THC about 5-6 months back or so, and because I "asked to have my dose increased" Which HE INCREASED IT! well, he decided that taking me off of the 3mg clonazepam, was a good choice on his part..Ive tried talking with him about it, he wont call me back when I request to have him do so, instead, he has his nurse call me back and tell me, why Ive been such a horrible patient.
It goes to show, how much some doctors care....meaning: hes trying to save his own A$$, while making mine suffer. I just want to let you know that the first week was fine, then I had a appointment with my Psychiatrist/Sub Doctor. I Told him that I came off of 3 mg's of Klonopin per day, and that I havnt experienced any of the horrible withdrawals, and in fact, at that point, I hadnt...until about 3 days after that. that is REALLY depressing. I thought I was going to be fine, then I had a slight convulsion...I was wide awake for it, was coherent, had all of my other cognitive skills, and THAT is what made it scary. The convulsion NEVER happened again after that. I decided that I will NO LONGER take ANY benzodiazepine, and if they try to treat it with another, Never again do I want to go through this. Its the worst feeling in the world and I cant decide on whether or not its worse than Opiate withdrawal. (Both are serious in their own ways and apparently under rare circumstances, Benzodiazepine withdrawal can be deadly). Take a tip from me, if the doctor tells you "We can try Klonopin" for whatever reason, dont do it. I would NEVER wish this on anybody else...I am in the midst of week 2 or 3 (my days run together due to the fact that I only sleep when I finally crash) and I am still suffering greatly, and yet I NEVER feel tired, when I know my body is in dire straits and NEEDS to be rested. anybody have any tips for getting through the withdrawal a little easier? I am past the absolute worst of it and I know need help. I have been flipping out on my mom (who is the most wonderful person I know and BOY does she have patience) whom I have never even raised my voice to in my entire life. I am not myself. And I pray and hope that one day, one day soon, I can be back to normal. Just letting this out even helps me a bit. Ive been reading and looking at suboxonetalkzone and suboxforum for years and I decided Im not making a cute nickname. I am who I am, and Im not afraid to let you guys know. I am a REAL person sharing a very real experience. anyhow I just wanted to let you guys know the dangers of it all, seeing how there isn't much that touches on the subject at Suboxone Talkzone...Thank you VERY much for reading this you guys, Its greatly appreciated. And remember the next time you are prescribed Alprazolam, Diazepam, Clonazepam, or Ativan, Zanax, Klonopin etc. just remember what I went through...I wish I could give you some kind of physical projection of what you would feel like if you were in my boots...if I could, I promise you would never even think of trying them. :shock:





Hi Josh and welcome to the forum! I am so glad you decided to write your experience down. I know exactly where you are coming from.

Your doctor should have reduced you off gradually instead of stopped you cold turkey...after all he gave them to you and now you have had a seizure which is damn serious!

I stopped valium cold turkey years ago because my script ran out and I didn't know how to get any more. I was taking 4 10mg tabs at night to sleep. I had all sorts of things in withdrawal...I saw acorns raining from the sky, had a hyper sense of smell and taste..could not stand anything sweet, my diswasher ran all the time and I thought all these things were real!
My husband's head was bigger than his body...my 3 y/o would clap his hands and the noise was so loud I could not stand it.

Some people in AA called me regularly on the phone and told me things to do that would help: hot showers and get the washcloth and rub your skin ( my skin felt like it was crawling)...take many showers a day and it will make you feel better.
They also said to take a teaspoon of honey that it was like liquid valium?..anyway I took it by God and I think it helped a little. I didn't sleep for months and when I did get a little sleep I would wake up soaking wet all over.

I hate to tell you this , Josh, but it took about 90 days for me to get back to myself. I know how you feel...it is the most horrible feeling in the world a lot worse than withdrawal from opiates. It is also more dangerous because if you just quit it cold turkey like you and I did we really could have had seizures and died.

You sound like you through the worst part but just expect to feel bad for about three months and then you will notice a difference. I wish you all the luck and I'm sorry I don't know more to do. Some people take clonidine, it is a blood pressure med. that helps in withdrawal. Maybe your doctor would give you a script for that.

Good luck to you and keep us posted on how you are doing.

Judy


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 8:45 am 
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Hi Josh and welcome,

First of all, if you are still having benzo withdrawal, I would suggest you go to your family doctor or the ER to request some kind of meds (unless you're already beyond that). Because you're right, benzo w/d can be deadly.

As for you having a seizure, well, I don't mean to be rude or doubt you, but I've never heard of a person being aware of having a seizure. They are anything but coherent during and after for several minutes. However, that said, I'm certainly no doctor and my knowledge is limited, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

Now, something you may not have considered is something that is extremely common when someone stops taking benzos, whether by cold turkey or tapering - and that's rebound anxiety. There's a very good chance you could be suffering from rebound anxiety from stopping the benzos. Now that doesn't negate the physical pain of your withdrawals. That's why I suggested you see someone about medications that can help you through the remainder of this.

I do know what you're going through, because before I started suboxone I was on over 6 MG of xanax PER DAY!!! Yes, PER DAY! I ended up being taken off ALL my meds - including all my opiates and the xanax - cold turkey - while hospitalized. This was in Dec 2008. What they did for me was put me on phenobarbital to reduce the chance of seizures from the xanax w/d. I was a real mess at that time, so I can't really explain how I felt, but it was nothing major or painful enough for me to recall it.

What I'm saying is you WILL get through this. Consider seeing a doctor to make sure your risk of seizures is past, or they might want to put you on something like phenobarb. But at least let a doctor determine if it's necessary or not.

You sound damn determined and that will help you get through this immensely. And your post will help many many people. You said you've been reading Suboxone TalkZone....Do you recall reading his blog about "Are you anxious? Are you sure?"? That's a great blog post of his. If you haven't read it and you're interested in his take on anxiety and benzos, especially as it relates to opiate addicts, you might be interested in tracking it down. If you have any trouble finding it,let me know and I can get you the link.

Sorry for the long-winded post. I wish you the best. And thanks for sharing what you've been through with us.

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 Post subject: Benzo taper
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 2:57 am 
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I was on benzos for years - taking normal to high daily doses. I would take more if I was going thru opiate w/d which was pretty often but only if I had enough benzos to not run out. This was the first thing I kicked and it was with the help of my doctor. He switched me to Valium and weaned me off over at least 6 months. It wasn't super bad. I had to not drink caffeine and abstain from other things I used to do like pot which was though but I got thru it. It wasn't the end of the world. I gotta say I am so glad I got off those fuckers when I did.

Gb


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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 8:08 pm 
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It's really quite negligent on your doctor's part I think to prescribe benzodiazepines like that to someone with a history of addiction. I am extremely thankful my doctor was never willing to go down that road, even though I tried every trick in the book to be prescribed Clonazepam (my benzo of choice)...

An ex-girlfriend of mine who had borderline personality disorder ... before I was with her she'd cut herself regularly (sad I know), and have to go to her GP to get stitched up... He was prescribing her Serapax ... I don't know why, but I would later find out. She had a bad history of addiction and drinking, and it is IMO stupidly negligent to prescribe benzos as long term treatment to such people. Actually, benzos as long term treatment for anything other than epilepsy is not smart IMO but I am not a doctor.

She would have to go to see him once a week to get a new script, because for some reason he would not give repeats ... One day he was away, so she had to see a replacement at the clinic. Mind you by then she hadn't "cut up" for over a year. Anyway the doctor said "Oh you had an appointment last week for a basic surgery for self-harm?"

She looked at the history on the computer and it turns out the doctor had been billing the government (Australian public medical insurance) every weekly appointment for the last yaer as a surgery, because he'd get significantly more money by saying that. Basically he was rorting Medicare. I'm cynical that he was prescribing her Serapax without repeats just so she would have to see him more often. Of course she wouldn't say anything because she didn't want to make waves, and lose her source for Serapax.

I agree man that benzo withdrawal is quite nasty. Like opioids, longer acting benzos have longer withdrawal ... so the Xanax's and Klonipin's can have withdrawal lasting up to 6 months apparently.

I always found Valium withdrawal to be the worst... Many people would not agree, but it's like I have some kinda allergy to the drug. I would literally feel like beating my head against the wall for 2 weeks. It would make me seriously dangerously suicidal, and I'm not usually that way...

anyway


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2012 5:06 pm 
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I was prescribed 10mg/day kpin for several years. 4x 2mg/day regular pill and 1x 2mg/day wafer. I kicked the habit when I went to rehab. I was feeling better from the heroin kick after ~4-5 days and I got slapped in the face hard with benzo withdrawal. It's needless to say that I was in detox for another week after this and instead of being admitted to the center's outpatient program was told that I needed to go to the nut house before enrolling in their program. They gave me a cocktail of drugs (including kpins) to properly taper me off the benzos instead of only using sedative medication to prevent seizures.

There were times I would over/under my Rx, but my heavy opiate use must have countered any withdrawal effects. I later learned how incredibly high of a dose this was. I was put on Suboxone maintenance after rehab and have not taken a drug since. I'm on day 6 of kicking Suboxone now after three years of maintenance. The worst part of the benzo withdrawal is the ups and downs. I felt like I was spinning in circles. It is manageable though and I believe that a lot it was in my head. I started working a program (Narcotics Anonymous) and I felt better and better, day after day. It works if you want it badly enough.

I agree with you that benzos are evil and are merely a short-term solution to a long-term problem. It is unfortunate that they are so overly prescribed, but I guess you can say the same about pretty much any prescription drug on the market today. My drug cocktail of choice (kpin/xanax + heroin, and occasionally cocaine in the mix) is a deadly combination and I'm grateful to be alive today.

Feel free to drop me a PM if you have any questions on benzo withdrawal, I unfortunately know it all too well.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 4:29 am 
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hi Josh Gaffeny' ya i went through it and it last up to 7 months but the last month is where i started to believe i can be normal again. it's here on the forum. i cried to hatmaker /tear/ and other's here on the forum and telling them it was the suboxone/abilify together making me very sick and i would not be here if i were still sick like that and yes it feels worse than W/D. WEll DAM" i have to say i did not tell any one here that at the time i became very sick is when i stop't taking (ADDERAL/
KLONIPEN wile i was on ABILIFY and SUBOXONE . my doc could not understand why i was so fucked up and i would not even think that adderal or klonipan could have caused this horrible 6-7 month night'''''''m but it did. by my doc being confused he also stop't my abilify and then i felt like i was in a coffin buried ten feet and calling about for help for 6 months :cry: :oops:
if i new adderal/ klonipan caused this i would have not take'n it together. and now it's been about 10 months and i'm just about back i hope.

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