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PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 3:23 pm 
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Hey there c1234,

Keep up the good work. I may not always post, but I am reading along. Your story provides lots of us that are nearing our jump from subs something to look forward to. 24 days is awesome and I'm sure each day will get better and better. Take care of yourself and thanks for all the updates!

Karen xoxo :D


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 11:21 pm 
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You could be right that your cold was masking symptoms. One time when I quit subs I had a nasty head cold that my whole family had. I actually got the cold first, and then decided to quit subs because I was at a low dose and meaning to jump soon anyways, and the cold was so bad I didn't even have time to think about taking my sub. It was awesome, I pretty much slept for 3 days straight. I never had that "revved up", skin-crawly feeling. It was so easy to relax and sleep. Great job on all your progress! Hope you get better soon.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 27, 2013 11:29 pm 
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Brown Eyed Girl wrote:
Hey there c1234,

Keep up the good work. I may not always post, but I am reading along. Your story provides lots of us that are nearing our jump from subs something to look forward to. 24 days is awesome and I'm sure each day will get better and better. Take care of yourself and thanks for all the updates!

Karen xoxo :D



Ditto!

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 2:56 pm 
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Hi Guys. Day 26. Starting to lose track. Have to count backwards and figure out.
Finally, i think my cold has gone. Had a great sleep and woke up almost feeling like going jogging or something. Think i just have a coffee in bed looking at sub site instead. Don't want to jinx myself as every day for last week woke up thinking cold had finished but hadn't quite.

All excellent. The only thing to report has been a rare little bit of heat very occasionally. Its happened i think 3 times in 4 days? Very mild. Comes and goes withing 10 seconds. No prob at all.
I remembered a friend of mine that has not used any opiate of any sort for 15 years saying he occasionally got the same thing like 10 years later. It never bothered him as he knew there was no way that could be anything to do with wd and only happened maybe once in a year or something. He is super fit and healthy. Similar age to me at 45.
He said if he didn't know better he would of sworn it was like a little start of wd.
Probably just part if being a human being?
I think at mt early stage it is just my hormone system re establishing itself into normal production.

Not missing taking my sub in the am anymore. Have gotten used to not having now. Old habits etc.
No cravings at all. Except for my cold to be gone completely. Way too excited and relieved to be normal or at least opiate free.
Maybe in my case because i have not used for so long it is easier. Life is basically normal and straight. Just had to take sub each morning. No using friends around or close habits to break.
As Amy said. You definitely would need either new lifestyle or some sort of post treatment.
I can imagine people would have probs if too close to their using lives.
Anyway, stopping sub is so doable.
Don't do what i did and stay on maintenance for 15 years. Wish i had of got serious in my 30's. Would if been better in my 20's but doubt i had the internal strength then.
Stupid thing is i never really liked that medicated sloppy feeling all these years. Just preferred it to the other option (wd)
I am grateful my life hasn't been totally wasted. At least i have a good business . Wasted years on my own though. All ok now. Good relationship and own my own home, nice car etc ( amg) wont say exactly which one as where i live i will stick out luck a sore thumb with too much info
Years ago when using i used to think that if i had enough money to use easily every day and still have plenty left for everything else then life would be fine.
Eventually i was in this situation. Plenty of cash rolling in thru my business. It wasn't good at all. All that happened was i just used and used for something to do. Going out 4 times a day just for the ritual. Over medicated all the time. Just horrible. Never satisfied with just once, twice even 5 times in a day.
Believe me folks. Being drug free is the answer.
Good luck.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 31, 2013 3:54 pm 
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Day 28. Cold finally gone. All day yesterday was cold free. Have entered a whole new level of feeling good. Geez, i was feeling pretty good for last 2 weeks with a bad cold/flu so goes to show you how bad we get used to feeling with wd etc. Just feel so calm and content.
The only small things are every now and then get emotional. Like i was watching this crappy movie on tv with my girlfriend last week about a basketball team when i felt myself tearing up when the coach was giving a speech to the players.
My GF looked at me suspiciously but luckily i had this cold so i could blame my sinuses. She had her doubts. I think i fooled her. Didnt want to give her and her sister a months worth of material to crack up over behind my back!
Also, sometimes in the car a song will do the same. All to be expected i supposed, just brain re adjusting.
Also, those little flashes of heat come once a day. Just for 10 seconds though. I didnt want to post this as dont want to scare anyone by thinking going thru wd a month later. So not the case. Completely 100%. Just little things that would happen to a normal body i guess. We put everything down to wd.
Still getting a wave of tiredness in middle of day. I have a short catnap and easily wake up and have full energy right up till bedtime.
This sobriety is such a beautiful thing.
I really noticed it yesterday morning when i took the dog out for a wee. Its spring here and was so beautiful just standing outside at dawn. I could smell the grass and the ocean. Everything was so still, It took my breath away. Just such a lovely feeling.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 3:38 am 
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Does anyone else get that wonderful feeling in withdrawal for just a second or 2. Its triggered by a smell or something. For an instant im transported back to my childhood or a previous time. It is so lovely. But i try and grasp the feeling it but it disappears like trying to grab a handful of smoke.
William Burroughs in his book 'Junky' mentions this phenomenon.
The reason i mention is i am getting a slightly milder version of it now but it seems to be much more tangible and last for a bit. More real i guess, not so withdrawal like. I can actually think about it and enjoy it for a few minutes.
Just curious.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 3:51 am 
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Day 31. I think. All good. Haven't had the little (insignificant) approach if heat for a few days now. Tiredness or groggyness in middle of day doesn't seem to of happened last few days either.
No cravings of any sort.
Nothing to really report. Thus my posts about other stuff. Feel mildly tired here and there though. Not that wave of groggyness i was getting every now and then. So nice to sleep well and be really comfortable in bed at night.
Actually, there was a few times in middle of night i tossed and turned a bit for a hour but then went back to beautiful sleep for another 4 hrs. Strange.
Everything re adjusting after 20 years of opiates, i would assume!


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 9:57 pm 
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Sounds like all good news! Keep up the good work!

Are you finding that you need to do extra work on your recovery now that you're off sub or not?

Amy

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 2:15 pm 
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Hi Amy, to tell you the truth. No. I'm feeling absolutely rock solid. Using or drugs or anything of the sort is the furthest thing from my mind. Im just so relieved to finally be normal after all these years. I think the difference with me is that i hadnt used for so long anyway. I managed to break the habits years ago. When i first stopped using for real years ago it was difficult. At least the hardest bit was the first month. I was still on methadone but so used to using as well. It was something that was always part of my day. Nothing much else was though, except working.

What changed my headspace was a new relationship. It gave me the reason to actually get serious. I thought it may be my last chance to do something.
Different things work for different people. Some the threat of job loss etc. I went on for years always planning to do something tomorrow.

I think when you have stabilised on sub for a fair while you get far enough away from the 'habit'. You should be able to tell if you are ready as you are not imagining what it would be like to use and very grateful for some sort of normalcy. It gives me a sad lost feeling if i do try and imagine going out to score .
Time away from it is the best medicine. I think.
I think that if you are a little older and the effort we go through to taper and stop sub makes you very very grateful to be straight. We are not going to mess with it and have to do it all again at some stage.
It sounds like you are near. Is this the case. Are you worried about getting off then messing up again?

It is easier when not feeling any wd of any sort to not want to use. Also gets easier and easier as time goes on.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 10:32 pm 
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Right now I'm stabilized on 2 mg and I expect to stay here for at least a few months. I don't mean to be cryptic, but there are certain things I'll be going through in the next few months that make it inadvisable for me to taper off completely right now. That's all I have to say about that. :)

I'm not particularly worried about messing up down the road because I have no problem with going back on suboxone if I need to. I know that 2 mg is a good dose for me and I won't hesitate to return to maintenance if the need arises.

Amy

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 11:30 pm 
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Amy-Work In Progress wrote:
Right now I'm stabilized on 2 mg and I expect to stay here for at least a few months. I don't mean to be cryptic, but there are certain things I'll be going through in the next few months that make it inadvisable for me to taper off completely right now. That's all I have to say about that. :)

I'm not particularly worried about messing up down the road because I have no problem with going back on suboxone if I need to. I know that 2 mg is a good dose for me and I won't hesitate to return to maintenance if the need arises.

Amy



Hi Amy,

Please don't think I'm being inquisitive or nosy, because that's not my intention at all here. But when I read you may going through certain "things" in the next few months I became a bit worried for you. I may have no reason to be whatsoever, and I'm NOT asking you for info, but if you ever need to talk, or need a friend in any way possible, or I can be of any help at all, please know I am here for you anytime.

You have become a wonderful friend to me, and helped me in so many ways since my time here on the forum. If I can return the favor then please let me know as it would be my honor to do so.

I admit I became a bit concerned when I read that and hope everyting is going to be ok for you. Again I'm not trying to get in your personal business in the least, just wanted you to know I am here should you ever need me for anything!

Take care,
Karen xoxo


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 12:05 am 
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I hesitated to mention anything about upcoming "things" I might be going through, because I didn't want anyone to worry. I'll just say that it's not life-threatening in any way and I will be just fine emotionally. I might choose to reveal more at a later, but I want to assure you, there is really no cause for worry! :)

Amy

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 2:41 pm 
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Hi Amy, understand. It could any of a 1000 things. Such as a holiday, or new job, surgery, anything. Not necessarily bad etc. i get it.
I set little milestones for myself. When on 2. I really wanted to get to 0.75. (3/4 of a 2mg strip) it buoyed me when the strips were getting smaller and smaller.
I always expected to feel some wd. Usually in the evenings for day 2,3,4 after dropping . Not to bad. Did give me the shits though. I would drop on mon and be restable by sat. Then if i felt like it i would drop again the next mon.
You can jyst cut smaller amounts off each film. Ie 0.125- 0.25.
You are not far from 0.5. Where i jumped.
A reduce of 0.25 a week of even fortnight will be within the 2 month period.
Every now and then the same reduction seems to hit a little harder. Dont be alarmed. Sometimes it does.
You will find that when getting under 0.75 the wd and taper gets easier.
I noticed my pupils returning ti normal size just under 0.75. So assumed Bup levels very low and starting to have no effect.
Having said this. At the final jump expect a week of moderate shittyness. Nowhere as bad as you think its going to be.
I did jump at 0.5 though. May of been even better at 0.25??
You will be scared and obsessed about it. Then halfway through the week you will start to get excited even feeling so/so.
Get as healthy as you can. That first week. Ibuprohen helped take the edge off. This was the only thing i used. I wouldnt used any drugs of any sort. Eat well. Not much made too much of a diff the first week. Just rest. Let your receptors repair.
You cant imagine they will. But they certainly do. Quite quickly after the first week or so.
Please ask me anything you want. I wish i had of been able to ask someone that for real stopped when i was at 2 mg.
C.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 12:49 pm 
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Sorry Amy, i misunderstood. I thought you wanted to get off within a few months.
This is better you can take as long as you want. Living life nicely is the whole point.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 12:59 pm 
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Oops, forgot to mention how things going. Almost forgetting about it these days. Rock solid. I think its almost 5 weeks now.
No little hints of warmth for last week. Occasional tiredness also gone. Still wake after 6 hrs sleep but doesn't seem to be a prob. Unless i wake too early in am. Then get a little tired in middle of day.

Thoughts of Sub and wd starting to fade into the background.
What is so good about being off Sub is being rock solid stable all day and night. No more peaks and troughs over the 24 hour period. I didn't realise how wearing this was. Or flashes of heat in stressful situations. Always obsessing on how i was going to feel at this time or that. Or to plan if i had to do something that took effort or had to entertain or be social in uncomfortable surroundings.
Easy now. Look forward to going out.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 7:23 pm 
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Karen, how are things going?. I saw a post elsewhere mentioning you were at day 4. That was a couple of days ago. If ok, almost there! Seems bad right now but it does get a 100 times better... soon, as well.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 2:37 am 
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day 40.. I think. All great. Still wake up in middle of night and then cant go back to sleep. I then get stressed and even more awake as worrying about being tired the next day. last night I woke at 12.30am and got back to sleep around 2.30. this second time was such a comfortable lovely sleep I didn't want to have to get up.
all heat flashes completely gone for last week or more. don't get the wrong idea, they were very small and shouldn't really mention them but searching for something to write about. tiredness also gone now.
feel strong, clear headed and back to normal.
this will probably be the last post about it as can't imagine things changing for better or worse etc.
thanks Amy, Karen and Rule for the replies.
C.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 11:04 am 
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c1234 wrote:
Karen, how are things going?. I saw a post elsewhere mentioning you were at day 4. That was a couple of days ago. If ok, almost there! Seems bad right now but it does get a 100 times better... soon, as well.



Hey there C,

Thanks for checking on me! Gosh, I have so many different things going on right now I don't know where to begin! I guess if you have the time you could check out my thread here in this same Stopping Suboxone section. Everything is explained in it.

It's titled: "Trouble Tapering From Suboxone. Request Help Please"!!

I'm completely off the subs and everything else for that matter! Today is my 11th day being 100% clean and I feel awesome! No symptoms whatsoever, and each day gets better and better!

I had to have an emergency surgery when I was on .50mg of Subutex, and I never went back on the subs. I made the switch from Suboxone to Subutex because I found out I'm expecting my first chlid!

I'm also getting married in about 8 weeks so I have my hands full right now getting all of that in place! I also work full time, but I work from my home so that is a very distinct advantage.

That's the basics happening in my life right now C. And again than you so much for caring! I hope your doing well and continue to do so. I always read your thread as I have mentioned before, I just don't post on it as much as I would like to do. Take care of yourself and please continue to update!

Karen xoxo


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 2:58 pm 
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Thats great Karen. Day 11. Just fantastic. I started really improving at day 12 or so. I did get that cold so was also sick but could feel wd gone. You will find the weeks go much quicker now and before you know it a month is gone. I entered a new level of feeling good at about 30 days. I was actually feeling pretty ok before then.
I think that by then everything has come 'on line' again. Hormone system etc.
Sleep basically ok now. A bit of tossing around here and there but nothing to worry about.
Congrats on getting married.
You will be fine. Ive had no cravings or even thoughts at all. Sounds luke you have a new life now.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 16, 2013 10:44 am 
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C1234

I read alot of your taper thread & am so happy for you! It gives me hope it won't be the hell i read about on other sites if or when i want to stop.

It's so funny to read how you "looked" for w/d...so many feelings are normal but for me using opiates & now sub, i can't remember "normal" LOL

Please don't disappear, it's important to have a place people can come & get hope and your thread certainly gives me hope. :D


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