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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 1:18 pm 
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I have been injecting Heroin on and off for 3 or 4 years. The last few times I used it was just a little bit and I was able to recover with one 8mg suboxone (actually it was subutex) so then that was working for me too well and of course I tried doing that everytime. But I've grown tired of it and just want to be happy and healthy. A friend suggested doing as many subs as I could afford and then taper off, so I did that with 6 of them but towards the end I got scared I wasn't going to be able to take care of my baby so I broke down and got more H. I'm on day 2 of withdrawal and feel so terrible of course. Now I don't know whether I should take my last 2 over the course of 4 to 8 days or what. If I do that, will I still feel shitty after that? I need a plan cause I can't have other people watching my kid.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 1:27 pm 
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My best advice is to do whatever it takes to get on a legit maintenance dose via a doctor. I say this because I have yet to meet or know anyone who has successfully detoxed themselves off of heroin for longer than a few days (give or take.) You know what I'm saying? The only two options I've seen even emotively work, are proper maintenance and hardcore rehab. And the rehab is sketchy at best, most everyone I know eventually relapsed after leaving rehab. The people that I know who are clean from heroin today (besides a few older folks who did it rehab style) used ORT.. either suboxone, or methadone, or a combination.

I am sure you are struggling and a Mother, but this is the bed thing you could do for your child. I hope you can find a way to do it right.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 1:35 pm 
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I would totally do that but I'm affraid of CPS taking my baby because CPS is involved with us because my step sons mom is an addict and she has chosen to abandon herself and everyone else (not saying that in a judgy way) but anyway, My husband knows of my problem but he doesn't want anyone ele to find out. I've tried telling him that I need serious help but he just doesn't understand. I don't know what to do :'(


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 1:43 pm 
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I understand. What's worse though? Being caught with, or worse ODing on, heroin? Or getting legit help for your situation the legal way? How will CPS find out? Do they automatically get access to your medical records? I'm genuinely curious..

If you think you could be the special person out there to whip your heroin addiction on your own, then more power to you. If you realize how silly that sounds and that Children need you to be healthy and happy for their well-being, I seriously advise you to take real action and make a smart decision. tell your husband to suck it, you need help and if he can't see that, he's probably more sick than you are.

Btw, my mom died of a heroin OD when I was 3. She didn't plan on it, it just happens when you continuously play with fire. I hope you can get the help my Mom didn't have a chance to.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 2:23 pm 
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Bynski,

I had a HUGE opiate problem which involved H also, I went to the doctor and had no problems getting on Suboxone, I don't believe anyone can see your medical records except those who you give permission too. If you don't mind me asking, is your husband a user also? He needs to see that you want help and you have to do you. Do it for your baby. Don't be scared, talk to one of the counselors there at the clinic, they can guide you in the right direction.

I don't think CPS will get involved in this matter, unless you are under some kind of watch that you haven't let us know about, and if you are that is fine, not judging. You are on the right track, seeking help, continue on this course, my wife's mother OD'd on Heroin as well when she was 17. It's an evil thing for sure.

Steve


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 2:57 pm 
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First of all I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom, that made me choked up when I read that. I don't want that to be my son.
To answer the question about my husband, no he does not use but he is an alcholic that doesn't think he needs help. CPS just got involved with us because they took his 16 son from his mom cause she is on meth. So because my husband never signed the birth certificate when his 16 yr was born they have to do DNA testing but in the meantime we are considered foster parents and so they have to do a very in depth background test on us. We are also in the process of getting housing from them cause we both don't work. Maybe when we get the housing squared away and all the background stuff then I can get help. In the meantime maybe I should just buy I from my friend.?


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:04 pm 
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Getting suboxone from your friend is much better than dabbling back and forth between H.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:05 pm 
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Bynski,

Go to youtube and look up Dr. Junig, he touches on buying from friends, not a real good idea, but In MY opinion and my opinion only, I think it's a lot better to buy that than the H. A lot of clinics will help you get set up on assistance with the medicine, look into it please. Hang in there with your husband. Tell him how serious you are into getting help.

It is definitely in your best interest to check into getting assistance with this. I hope you will try. :)

Steve


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:12 pm 
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Don't get me wrong, I totally want to but I'm just affraid its going to mess everything up with us trying to get housing and everything else from CPS. I don't want my 16 step son to have to live with a foster family because of me. So what about my plan of just buying from my friend until the whole background check process is complete and then go through with it the legit way? But then the other part I worry about is eventually getting off of it, isn't it like the worst to try and get off of? I was in a suboxone program years ago but then I just switched straight from that to H so I don even know but I'm sure its very difficult.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:17 pm 
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I'm gonna let TD touch on that because I really don't know, I've heard it is hard and it isn't when tapering off the correct way. but there are videos on youtube about that. I haven't watched them yet so I can't say eiher way, but TD is right, definitely better than getting the H.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:24 pm 
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Ok thank you Wonder77 I appreciate your input


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:46 pm 
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Getting off Suboxone is not that hard to do when you taper slowly. Staying clean once you're off it, is what is hard. But at least with Suboxone maintenance under your belt, you're in a much better position to do so. I was an IV heroin & oxy user for years. Could not get my butt clean no matter what I did. Finally went to methadone, then made the switch to Suboxone and was on Suboxone for 6 years straight. I am now off Suboxone for a year and a half. August 4th will be two years. I wouldn't trade my Suboxone maintenance for anything, that's how I broke free from the chains of using. Yes, getting off Suboxone was scary, I thought it would be like detoxing from heroin or pain pills, but it was nothing of the sort. Similar but on a far less scale.

Anyway, what are your options? You are out of them, my dear! lol. You speak as though you have several options to choose from. You have 4. Keep using, stop using, check into rehab, find a way to be on Suboxone (be it friend or doctor..)

Yes, many people would just pick the "stop using" option but you know there is more to it than that or you would've by now. All it takes is one bad day, stress with the kids or hubby, and you're back into old habits. Getting sub from a friend is not ideal, but it could save your life, so I'm all for it. My main concern with getting from a friend is that it's unreliable. What happens if they run out for a day or two? Then you're back to scoring whatever you can find to keep you going. Same old habits and run around. The sooner you can get into a doctor's care the better. Only you can do that for yourself though. You need to be serious enough about your recovery and your life to make that a priority. Bottom line. It doesn't matter what we say here.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:58 pm 
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I definately am not going to make buying from a friend the permanent solution but just maybe until we get into our housing and CPS isn't looking at us so closely. It helps to hear you say that the tapering isn't as hard as H withdrawal. Maybe I will talk to a psychiatrist asap about my fears of CPS finding out and maybe they will tell me something pleasantly surprising. I really appreciate everything you have to say, and again I'm really sorry about your mom. My biggest goal is for this to all be behind me before my 6 month old is old enough to know what's going on.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 6:33 pm 
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I went without treatment for opiate addiction for FAR too long solely on my fears about CPS, discrimination, loss of status in my community blah blah blah. . My husband was also leery of me getting "outside" help. He thinks it's best to do it under the radar and pull your bootstraps up. Well, his way obviously wasn't working for me. Ironically, it did for him but that's because he lost his connection. After I had my second baby, I basically went against him and sought out a suboxone doctor. I wanted to be stable and safe because my babies are the most important thing to me. More to me than our income, our reputation, or any other prideful matter. It is a horrifying thought that seeking out treatment would put one on the radar for CPS. Maybe it's a risk. But the alternative risk is ODing, getting arrested, or killing someone else or yourself and family while under the influence.

Do what you need to do to get healthy. By any means possible in my opinion. I understand your concerns about the baby. But it's that very reason to get well.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 6:57 pm 
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If 'on the radar' means that you've signed a release of information for your buprenorphine prescriber or your pharmacy or a release for them to be able to check your states Prescription Monitoring Plan or pharmacy (unlikely) then CPS would be privy to your prescriptions. I understand the desire to self-treat and at the end of the day as others have said, buprenorphine taken licitly or illicitly is much safer and more stable than using full-agonists. If at any point you submit to a drug screen and you don't have a prescription for buprenorphine or any other opioid it will be looked at as an illicit drug.

To me, the argument is weak and I would recommend 'going legit' and finding a buprenorphine prescriber. Obviously CPS has become involved in your lives due to a knowledge of some level of substance use disorder within the household so it's likely not going to blow them away that someone with a relapsing disorder is needing continual medical care for it. I have worked pretty closely with CPS and would find it hard to believe that they would balk at someone taking a legitimate prescription to keep their opioid use disorder in remission especially if they begin to improve and function in other significant life areas.

I don't want to sound harsh, but perhaps an environment where parents are struggling with addiction and are in denial and/or not managed professionally might not be the best environment for another child to be exposed to, at least for the time being and until a treatment plan is in place? Something to think about..

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 9:16 pm 
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TwinCitiesHardcore wrote:
If 'on the radar' means that you've signed a release of information for your buprenorphine prescriber or your pharmacy or a release for them to be able to check your states Prescription Monitoring Plan or pharmacy (unlikely) then CPS would be privy to your prescriptions. I understand the desire to self-treat and at the end of the day as others have said, buprenorphine taken licitly or illicitly is much safer and more stable than using full-agonists. If at any point you submit to a drug screen and you don't have a prescription for buprenorphine or any other opioid it will be looked at as an illicit drug.

To me, the argument is weak and I would recommend 'going legit' and finding a buprenorphine prescriber. Obviously CPS has become involved in your lives due to a knowledge of some level of substance use disorder within the household so it's likely not going to blow them away that someone with a relapsing disorder is needing continual medical care for it. I have worked pretty closely with CPS and would find it hard to believe that they would balk at someone taking a legitimate prescription to keep their opioid use disorder in remission especially if they begin to improve and function in other significant life areas.

I don't want to sound harsh, but perhaps an environment where parents are struggling with addiction and are in denial and/or not managed professionally might not be the best environment for another child to be exposed to, at least for the time being and until a treatment plan is in place? Something to think about..


I jut want to clarify that I am not on any CPS radar. I have been "legit" for 4 years :) and am allllmost done with treatment.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 10:48 pm 
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Oops, maybe I mixed up a bit of your terminology and the OP but the message was to the OP.

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