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 Post subject: not about sub
PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 11:26 am 
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ok i work with these to guys at work an they are in prison for sex ofeenses with a child the one raped his own kid an the other raped some girl an blames the victim, this makes me sick as I have been a victim.well anyway the one guy lies about his name and they are both assholes.I usually just ignore them,but last night the guy slammed the door on me so I went into the kitchen an said to the non sex offender to please get us new water since the child molester wont listen, omg they were so mad,and went to tell my boss.My boss came to me an said that I cant say that,I told him bullcrap these guys are gross, making bets on who they can sleep with an lying about there names.He said well I know ,but you just can't say that.I think those guys are gross.plus the one guy called me last week an asked if he could date my daughter I said hell no....I probably could have handled it better ,but the sight of those two make me wanna puke.Anyway I need help in how to deal with them.I know that alot of the anger has to do with what happened to me from being molested to being raped,but damn I cant stand those 2 :x


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 11:34 am 
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It would be helpful to know what role you play working WITH these guys who are in prison. i.e are they inmates and you are a corrections officer?


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:05 pm 
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hey jack.....no I work at a restraunt....as a server an floor supervisor.they work in the kitchen


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 6:14 pm 
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Hi jenealle,
First I think it's completely normal for you to be reacting this way. You were victimized in the same way so I believe it's only natural for you to be affected by having to work around them. It sounds like they are well aware that they get under your skin. Could it be that the one who wanted to date your daughter could have done that for the sole purpose of upsetting you? Do they know you are a rape survivor? Unless you're willing to give up your job, what I see is it boiling down to finding a way to work with them without letting them bother you. And I think that is the key - not letting them know they bother you. The more they know it the more they may TRY to upset you. I fear I'm having trouble expressing myself here, so I hope this makes some kind of sense. The way I see it, there isn't much you can do to change them or their behavior. Do you attend therapy at all? It might be bothering you so much because you may have unresolved feelings about your own victimization. And although you were definitely victimized, you might want to try thinking of yourself as a survivor instead of as a victim. This will go far in empowering you. The more empowered you feel that better (I believe) you'll be able to deal with these two assholes.

Keep in mind that this is merely my OPINION and I'm not a professional therapist or anything. Just throwing my two cents out for a different perspective.

Take care

Melissa

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:40 pm 
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So they are on work release or something? Hmmmm...if that is the case then I would throw out the suggestion that their corrections officer or probation officer (either one) would probably LOVE to know how they were feeling about things and what they were saying. If on work release they will probably throw them back into jail. If on probation, the PO will harrass them repeatedly for it. OR...you could just call those people and let them know on the down low. Having worked in a prison and having done community corrections work with a caseload of sex offenders (I also did drug court and worked in a rehab within a prison - how ironic) I know that the PO's don't appreciate such behavior and this is exactly how those people are. They are sneaky and manipulative and act all charming and nice in front of the PO but they know the person is nasty and crude when the PO isn't around. They will get on them for that type of behavior and it could be a probation violation for one of them.

I like what Melissa said too, but this is my 2 cents and sometimes I just want to get someone back for it. Plus you shouldn't have to put up with that crap. I would also tell the boss that I find the behavior offensive and threatening.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 8:25 pm 
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hatmaker thanx for your opinion.ya I am gonna bring this up with my therapist theseguys make me wanna beat there ass lol.I am sure thats one reason it makes me mad. they do not know I am a survivor ooo no way,they think I am mean my friend called me and said thats what they told her today..good then they can stay far from me.

jack I want to call the prison so bad,however my boss would get mad an I don't want to get fired over these guy's.My boss is the one who said I can't say that bullcrap why can't I it's a free country..lol.But like I said I do not wanna lose my job.I just have to deal with it I guess idk :roll:


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