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 Post subject: Newbie Here
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 1:40 am 
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I finally joined the forum after lurking behind the scenes for awhile. First some history i've been addicted to some sort of substance since 15yrs old,be it marijuana or cocaine. But opiates took control of my life and its been a battle every since. I even did the methadone thing for awhile,as a side note that stuff is evil,it was the worst detox ever thank god im a veteran and was able to go to rehab at a VA hospital. So i have been taking suboxone for 8 years now and have been with my current doctor for 4yrs. Suboxone is a lifesaver and i dont see myself ever not taking it. But theres a problem,im a addict,that means i cant take just one sub or 2 subs in fact when i first get my prescription filled i will take 5 or 6 a day. WTF is wrong with me. I know im not going to get high and at the end of the month I'll be out of my medicine. Causing me to buy them off the street. I know what your thinking "he's not serious about his recovery " will your right i guess. But i cant stop myself,and im afraid of the damage i might be doing to myself mentally and physically. I have lost alot of weight and my sex drive is almost non existent. Which has caused trouble with my marriage. But i do love my wife and find her attractive. Anyway thats a little about myself. I hope to be more involved with this site cause i think its great. As for the doctor that created it i say thank you. You seem like u actually care about people like us. Please comment and tell me how stupid I am for taking some many boxes a day,maybe it might help me


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 Post subject: Re: Newbie Here
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:00 am 
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Haha told ya i was new. Im sure theres a thread for introductions. I posted mine in the docs comment section. Could a mod please move this to its appropriate place . Thanls


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 Post subject: Re: Newbie Here
PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 5:55 pm 
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Hi DMH, and Welcome to the forum!

Your problem is not unique. A lot of us have overdone it with our Sub script. For me, it was just plain discipline. Knowing I will run out is a great motivator. Unlike you, I don't have an avenue to buy off the street and I'm surely not going to start asking strangers for drugs. So with that in mind I was able to stick with my usual dose.

Any habit takes 30 days to acquire and 90 break. I just heard that on some recovery show so I don't know how accurate it is. But the message is the same. Stop doing it and eventually you'll stop thinking about doing it. Sounds simple, it's just almost impossible for an addict to do it though! Just keep tryin'.

rule

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 Post subject: Re: Newbie Here
PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 6:04 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 27, 2014 9:01 am
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Location: Toronto
Hi dmh, sorry to hear about your troubles with Suboxone, i know all about using more now and running out later (not with Subs, but have done it with Methadone and a lot with heroin during my active addiction).

Doing sh*t like that is what we addicts do. During active addiction, we have no control over our drug use, otherwise we would be able to moderate our use, or stop it all together. I certainly couldn't do that, and it sounds like you're having trouble too.

You mention recovery; what kind of recovery program do you follow, other than being on Subs?

-- JI

dmh wrote:
I finally joined the forum after lurking behind the scenes for awhile. First some history i've been addicted to some sort of substance since 15yrs old,be it marijuana or cocaine. But opiates took control of my life and its been a battle every since. I even did the methadone thing for awhile,as a side note that stuff is evil,it was the worst detox ever thank god im a veteran and was able to go to rehab at a VA hospital. So i have been taking suboxone for 8 years now and have been with my current doctor for 4yrs. Suboxone is a lifesaver and i dont see myself ever not taking it. But theres a problem,im a addict,that means i cant take just one sub or 2 subs in fact when i first get my prescription filled i will take 5 or 6 a day. WTF is wrong with me. I know im not going to get high and at the end of the month I'll be out of my medicine. Causing me to buy them off the street. I know what your thinking "he's not serious about his recovery " will your right i guess. But i cant stop myself,and im afraid of the damage i might be doing to myself mentally and physically. I have lost alot of weight and my sex drive is almost non existent. Which has caused trouble with my marriage. But i do love my wife and find her attractive. Anyway thats a little about myself. I hope to be more involved with this site cause i think its great. As for the doctor that created it i say thank you. You seem like u actually care about people like us. Please comment and tell me how stupid I am for taking some many boxes a day,maybe it might help me

_________________
"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: Newbie Here
PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 1:46 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 22, 2014 1:20 pm
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Hi there! I am also new and of course being an addict myself can relate. I think suboxone definitely has affected mine and my husband's sex drive (we are both on it). While it is devastating to not feel like you want sex as much as you used to i think it's a small price to pay for freedom from the addiction. Hopefully your wife understands. I also find it hard sometimes to take what I'm supposed to and finding myself wanting to take more. I never feel much different though but I know it's part of the addiction. I think I feel this way because even though the subs work I still miss the motivation I used to get when taking other opiates. It's something that we have to work through somehow and maybe being here is a step in the right direction in that other people out there can maybe help us resolve the issues we are having. Anyway welcome and glad to hear your story.


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 Post subject: Re: Newbie Here
PostPosted: Sun Jun 22, 2014 1:50 pm 
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Something I had done to control myself from taking more than I'm supposed to take is I set aside one weeks worth of meds and put the rest up. That way I don't feel like I have a ton and if I use 2 one day I'll use only 1 the next...this has helped me regulate myself somewhat because the other part of my script is out of sight out of mind. Once I dose I really don't think mich about it the rest of the day and often if I do think about wanting more if I hang in there for a few minutes I find that the craving passes. Good luck.


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