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PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 9:31 am 
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I just started taking suboxone February 7. I'm going on my 5th day. :D I'm taking 8mg 2 times a day. I'm so proud of myself for taking that step and getting help. Sometimes thinking about it brings tears to my eyes, because I've wanted to get help for a while now. I always thought about how my life was and how happy I was before pills came into my life and I always wished I could be that girl again. I didn't know about suboxone until a couple of months ago. I knew I needed help getting off of pills. I tried to quit cold turkey but the withdraws were so painful I couldn't take it anymore. I had giving up hope of ever getting off of pills until a friend told me about suboxone. After doing research I decided to try it and see if it would work for me. I had my doubts in the beginning. I was taking at least 5 10s or 10mg a day of any pain pills I could get my hands on. I was on them for 5 years until February 7th. I didn't think suboxone would help me as much as it has. I call it my miracle medicine. I would have never thought I would be able to go 5 days without pills. It is the first time in 5 years I went this long without taking pills. Last night was my first day at work without pills. I was scared and was on the verge of freaking out about it, but I made it through. My coworkers were asking me if I was okay ( they don't know anything about what I'm going through) they were saying I looked different and basically wasn't acting like myself. This made me realize how many people I have in my life that don't know the real me. The "clean" me. My boyfriend doesn't even know the "clean" me. I never realized how much the pills affected my life until now. I'm currently seeking a counselor. My doctor told me I would have a better chance of staying off the pills with the help of a counselor. Until I find a counselor best suited for me, I would like some advice. Although my body feels great, which in turn makes me feel great. I'm still dealing with the "mental withdraws" or psychological withdraws the suboxone dulls my cravings, but I think one of the problems I'm having has a lot to do with habit. Everyday for 5 years the first I did when I woke up was take a pill. Although I'm so happy to be getting help sometimes it seems sad since I've been doing the pills for a while and now all of a sudden my life has completely turned upside down in a good way. It is hard to completely explain. I know it will take some time to adjust to the new chapter in my life. The advice I would like is how to adjust to this new chapter, and steps I can take now to alter my thinking, habits, etc. until I find a counselor. I would love to hear how other people adjusted and how they made the "mental" or psychological transition. Thanks you in advance. :D


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 10:14 am 
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It's hard to get over that mentality..but trust me it can be done. I was snorting Oxycontin, and got pretty serious with that..up to 400-500 mg some days...and never had enough. It's tough to break that.
I got used to waking up with my coffee and eating my lortabs (way before the oxys)...so I know the mental part you're talking about.

How to break it? Do something that gets your mind off of it. It may seem like it's never going to end, but trust me it will...before you know it, you'll be wondering how the hell you managed to mold your day around doing pills all the time. You'll look back 6 months from now and wonder why you thought this was so hard, when it wasn't..but currently it just seems like a huge hurdle to jump.

Suboxone, clean and sober with it, for 4 years (july)...so it's REALLY hard for me to even remember what it was like when I was doing pills all the time.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 2:50 pm 
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Hey Once upon a time!!

Time is key. But think back long ago before the pills, think of everything you did that made you happy and you enjoyed doing. Thats what the pill took from you and thats what you need to replace it with. I know it sucks because I dont know about you but I like instant gratification and things to be done now. Well this situation is going to take time but the good thing is theres two directions you can be heading in right now , Up or Down and you my friend are headed Up. Be honest with you Doc that prescribes your Suboxone. This communication is key in him forming a slow but safe taper that will give you the least withdrawals when you finally jump off the last Suboxone. These withdrawals mind you were no were as bad as cold turkey, not at all for me. Scale from 1 to 10 , 10 being cold turkey. Suboxone was like 1 mabey 2 and Im a "baby" when it comes to withdrawals.

This stuff is a miracle when used the right way. And it does have its quirks too that you may need to adapt for the time being but think about it, you in the right direction thats all that counts right now. You will have good days and crappy days on Suboxone , but thats how life is when your completely sober too. Little by little your Doc with taper you and you will be fine.

Man I can remember like it was yesterday when I started to feel normal when I came off my 4 years on opiates. Food tasted better , smells where more noticable , all my senses and thoughts came back like I was reborn. My hobbies made me happy again. Just a total change, and it was soooo worth it.

Stick with it and keep posting your thoughts and concerns. Everyone here will help you as much as possible. You gotta crawl before you walk , walk before you run and before you know it. Your running full speed.


Hope it helps,
Damian


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