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 Post subject: new to the site
PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:40 pm 
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[font=Arial] [/font] hi i've been reading post's for about a year and finally decided to join in. I'm female and have suffered with chronic pain and addiction since 1994. i've tried every medicine there is for pain but i always needed more than i was prescribed so i started self-medicating.

i've been thrown out of dr's care more times than i can count, i can't go to alot of pharmacies in my area because i can't take their pompous attitudes. i've been in jail because of my addiction, i've been to re-hab a couple of times and i finally realized the only thing i had left if i didn't do something different was death. so 19 months ago i found a suboxone dr.

i have done ok on the subs i started at 12 mg and now i'm on 6 mg. i have not been dispensing my own meds though, my husband keeps them locked up and gives me my dose every morning. last month i decided i was ready to hold onto my meds myself well guess what i could not stop myself from self-medicating and i didn't tell anyone until it was too late. i tried to tell my dr. today but he kinda blew me off. i asked for the film and he gave me a script for next month, i said "can't i start them now" and he said "you already have meds" then i said "what if i told you i was going to run out early"
then he said "you would have alot of explaining to do" and walked out of the room.

so now what should i do? relapse? lay in bed sick? or get up the nerve to tell him the truth? i'm so afraid he will kick me out.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 09, 2011 11:54 pm 
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welcome! these can be tough situations and it seems like a lot of them have come up lately on this forum. It sounds like you tried to tell your doctor but he wasnt listening and just walked away. If I were in your position (not wanting to relapse and not wanting to or not able to buy subs off the street as this is addict behavior and dangerous) the option is to tell him whats going on. I dont know your doctor that well and only you can gage his reaction. If you think he would react negatively and throw you out of the program then maybe its a bad idea, however if you have a dr that you cant be honest with then this is a problem too. Are there any other doctors in your area that you could call to switch too?? i dont even khnow if that would be an option and im saying it only because i feel its important to have a dr that you can be pretty honest with when honesty is called for. Anyways, I would wait and see what others say on this thread because alot of them have been in your situation. I would like to think that my dr would be understanding and not an ASS if i ran out of meds early but he can be a hard ass and i really might be nervous about telling him the truth. At this time though you are sort of backed into a wall. have you thought about going up on your dose a little? maybe you were abusing because you were craving and shouldnt be tapering that low at this time?


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 9:24 am 
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First of all, welcome to the forum. You are certainly not the first person in this situation. In the beginning of our sub treatment, many of us tried to take more, but what we learned is that it pretty much does nothing. Once you're stable on sub and above the ceiling, extra sub does nothing. I will add, however, that since you're taking it for pain, that's a different situation. Those of us who take it for pain as well as addiction are usually on a higher dose and take it 2-3 times a day. Sub's pain relieving properties only last on average about 6 hours (as opposed to the long half life when using it for addiction only). When you took more to self-medicate, did you do it to get pain relief? (Maybe you need a higher dose or more frequent dosing.) Or was it because you wanted/hoped it would get you high? Or just because you're used to popping pills throughout the day because you feel you "need" it? Or were you cravings opiates? (If that's the cause, then a higher dose might be in order.)

The reason you self-medicated, is, in my opinion, is very important when it comes to stopping that behavior. I would suggest you talk to your doctor. He said you'd have some explaining to do, but he didn't say you'd get kicked out of the program, did he? Talk to him, tell him everything and be humble. He's there to help you - or at least he should be.

Are you completely out of sub or do you have any left? How long until your next appointment?

I know I've asked a lot of questions, but I think figuring those things out will help you.

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 Post subject: Welcome to the Site....
PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 10:52 am 
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Joined: Tue May 12, 2009 10:02 am
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Hi there dyrt57,
As others have said Welcome to the Forum! I think you will find, as I and many others have that this place is a great place to talk about and share you Recovery!! As far as your current situation goes.... I'm not sure how much medication you have left, But you should try to ration them so you can get to your next Appointment?? I just have a couple of questions for you? 1.) Are you & your Dr. on the same page as far as WHY you are taking Suboxone? i.e. Pain vs Addiction!. 2.) Are you going to any counseling or Group meetings? I find that the are both VERY Important tools for me. Although I am also an Alcoholic...... lucky me hu :) Seriously though I would try to talk with someone about this problem so you can FIX it!! Only you can do that...:) If you are taking it for pain relief then you should listen to hatmaker She has been out here a long time and also takes it for some pain.hat is VERY helpful and I'm sure she would talk to you in private ( I don't want to speak for HAT though! ) if that is more comfortable for you?? What ever you do I wish you the best of luck! Please keep posting your progress we would love to hear from you. Take Care..

God Bless
TW

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:32 pm 
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Hi dyrt57! Welcome to this site. I feel for you and your situation. Several others have brought up some good points. I have had several times in the past early on when i first got started on suboxone that i would run out. Fortunately, I've got a great Dr..I was always honest with him up front. He did let me know though that running out early is not a good idea and it is dangerous in that it sets us up for a potential relaspe and it is hard on the body physically. It took a little while to get my dose adjusted but I'm finally at a place where the dose that I am on is working . I feel like the others. Is this Dr. the only one in your area ? Is there another Dr. that you could go to ? It is so important to be able to establish a good relationship with your Dr. and from what I have heard here on this site, some of ya'll have had some really bad experiences with some really bad Dr's. Another thing. don't make things hard on yourself. Learn how to begin to stand up for yourself. Anyway, welcome to the site. Please keep us informed on how things are going.


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