It is currently Mon Aug 21, 2017 1:59 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 14 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:49 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:28 am
Posts: 10
Hey all,
This would be my second time on suboxone; the first, i lasted 174 days and slipped. This time, i made sure the floor was dry- NO MORE SLIPPING!! :D
A little background on myself and DOC: Prior to my first induction i was taking approx 80 30MG pills of oxycodone daily, with anywhere from 5 - 10 80MG OC throughout (expensive habit, i know). I would literally set an alarm to wake up every 3 hours to take my dose of 10 - 12 pills down my neck, chewed to a pulp of course. Clearly my life was out of control, after 9 years and absolutely no understanding or light having been shed about the topic of "tolerance". Well, needless to say I found out when it came time to induction that 80 pills a day to absolutely nothing is a shock to the system, to say the least. I stayed clean for 174 days, to the point of taking .5mg in the a.m and .5 at night, which was absolutely amazing to feel as if I was almost there, you know? Well, clearly I was far from it. I started accumulating the depression, of which I've suffered from my entire life, and distancing from my family. I started taking pills on my 175th day, while staying on suboxone. I realized that i could get high (not quite as much as before, but hey it was still a high), stay well and have that little pick-me-up I felt i desperately needed due to my depression. I slowly got back to a habit; every other day turned into every day, and every day became every 3-4 hours again. Granted, the second time around i only allowed myself to take 10 15MG oxycodone in a day, a habit it absolutely was. I ran out of my suboxone early on a saturday morning, tried calling doctor etc with no avail, only had oxycodone as comfort, and the last 8 months is history.
I am now back on suboxone, since the 25th of this month. There is no going back for me, and my main goal is to reach out to as many sources as I can. Ive been a stalker to this forum for a long time now (since my first induction) and figured the support everyone else has received would be nice to have, as well as if I can provide my input, I'd be delighted.
I do have a question though; Obviously I'm going to take my time with it, but currently I'm taking about 6MG of Sub daily- that being said, when should the taper begin? Just when I feel ready? Just curious as to how it may have worked out for other people.
Thanks for this forum, it really has done amazing things for my mind, although I wasnt a member prior. :mrgreen:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:14 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2014 3:31 am
Posts: 22
Hi welcome to the forums. Just hang in there and you will be fine :) How are you doing now? We're just human and we make mistakes all the time. Slipping once is okay, but don't let it happen again.

_________________
Here is the solution to the American drug problem suggested a couple years back by the wife of our President: Just say no.―Kurt Vonnegut
No! Ex addict, been to a Rehabilitation Center in Detroit. 12 years clean now :)


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 6:13 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:28 am
Posts: 10
Im doing good now. Excited to be back on track and end this exhausting run. And I absolutely will, I can not allow myself to fail again for multiple reasons, most importantly- im no failure!! :) I truly appreciate the fact that even when you feel so extremely isolated and alone in this man made hell called opiate addiction, theres a place like this to turn. Thanks sincerely for the reply my friend.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 9:22 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Mon Sep 09, 2013 4:49 pm
Posts: 517
Hi Mikey25

I am glad you made the decision to change your life. It's hard to reach out after isolating but you took that first step.

Since i am new to suboxone (4 months on) I feel silly saying much but from your post i would think you need some time on sub to change habits & behavior before tapering. At least that is what has been suggested to me by several people. It took time for me to become addicted to oxy & it will take time for me to change the behavior that went with that habit.

Welcome to the forum!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:09 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2013 1:02 pm
Posts: 1342
Location: West Tennessee
Hi Mikey,

I have to agree with Tiki. I really think that the reason you relapsed before was because you began your taper entirely too soon. Most of us need at least a year (though I hate putting any time limits on this) on suboxone to begin to make the changes we need to stay clean after a lifetime of using. The main thing you should be focusing on right now is learning to live your life without the OC. There is plenty of time to consider a taper when you have built up your arsenal of tools to deal with life without it.

It takes time, but only you will know when you are ready to taper. And, the key to success is being honest with yourself. If you start to taper and the old cravings and depression return you have to be ready to go back up on the subs until you get stable again. This isn't a race after all.

Congratulations on getting yourself back in line and on the right path. It's not easy to go back and try again.

Much success.

Q

_________________
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 4:04 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
Hi Mikey, welcome back!!

I think it's way, way too early for you to be considering a taper. You spent 9 years in active addiction and that damage coupled with the maladaptive behaviors won't be corrected in short order. Do yourself a favor and give yourself plenty of time on Suboxone to distance yourself from the addict lifestyle.

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 9:32 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:28 am
Posts: 10
Thank you all genuinely for the kind and informative words. I agree, I'm weak- as addicts, we all are to some degree, and I just want to repeat that in no way am I trying to initiate the tapering process early. Having a 9yr opiate addiction, backed up by an additional 6yrs on other substances (more or less whatever I could do/find), I'm 100% content on being on suboxone; steadily and willingly, with more drive and determination then I've ever felt. I really can't say TOO much, but I do have an added motivation at this point that I previously hadn't. I lost the contract due to addiction prior, was given the opportunity again and there's no going back for me! (Watch UFC around st pattys day :D)


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 12:30 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jan 30, 2014 11:40 pm
Posts: 22
That is just a mindblowing amount of pills to bounce back from, I'm impressed that you made the step at all. I wish you all the luck and a strong will to recover from such a habit.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 12:56 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:28 am
Posts: 10
Airhead- Thank you kindly for the supportive words. And you are absolutely right, it is very hard to grasp, even for myself on a daily basis, just how many were being chewed and swallowed. But maybe ill be inspiration for the next guy who thinks his habit is just too big to recover from, and that was another reason I decided to share my story. I want to help just as bad as I need it. Thanks again :)


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 12:47 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2013 1:02 pm
Posts: 1342
Location: West Tennessee
OMG - are you one of those HOT UFC guys?????

OK, we totally need pics. :wink:

_________________
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 1:49 pm 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 12:28 pm
Posts: 117
Mikey25,
I am glad you are here. The path you were on clearly would have lead you to death. It sounds like you are ready to embrace a life free from those damn pills, good for you!!!! I agree with others, you had a very huge habit for at least 9 years, so the best advice would be for you to get stable on your suboxone, make sure your dose is high enough for you to keep those cravings away. From there I would suggest that you do everything you can to work a program for you, that works for you, that includes support from outside sources. Whether its meetings, counseling,etc., use your time on suboxone to get your life really focused in a positive way and also learn about your addiction, your triggers, etc. Stay on suboxone until you have a very concrete understanding of yourself, then and only then would I suggest that you start to taper. Facts are facts, addicts who come off suboxone too soon have a very high chance of relapse. With your habit, for you to relapse, could be the end of you. Now, on a happier note, you are here, you are reaching out, and you are back on suboxone. Stay focused on "your" recovery and I know there will be people here to help you anyway they can.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 8:59 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:28 am
Posts: 10
Haha, yes I did just recently sign with UFC :)


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 9:04 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:28 am
Posts: 10
Justdoit- amazing words; thank you kindly. And I agree, death was coming. I have recently been attending meetings, seeing a counselor to deal with underlying issues (hatred for my sperm donor etc). With everything combined going on in my life, im in it to win it- truly. The support and posts from people like you, q etc- truly humbling and amazing. Im in the gym upwards of 6hrs a day to whip my ass back into a positive routine and shape for my upcoming fight etc, im simply just staying busy and it seems to be working well. Thanks again.


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 9:05 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Tue Feb 11, 2014 1:24 pm
Posts: 6
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Mikey,

Jeeze that's a lot of oxy's! I was hooked on 30's... now on subs & trying to wean myself off. Anyway, I am oh so very proud of you (although I don't even know you)! :D If you can do what you've already done, you can do ANYTHING! Congrats on the UFC thing, that sounds like an awesome opportunity, don't give it up! :mrgreen:

I found your story inspirational to read, I believe you'll be just fine! I'm also fighting these damn battles, so I totally understand what you're going through. Keep up the great work, my friend :wink:

Best,
Kansas


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 14 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group