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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 9:26 am 
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Hello all!

I hope this thread finds you all doing well in recovery!

A little about myself, I'm 36, have had problems with opiate addiction for the past 13 years on and off, most of the time not even really knowing I had an issue. Up till about 3 years ago I didn't have a clue that I was an addict. I just knew I like to get high from time to time....3 years ago I had a great job making prevailing wage 22.00 an hour and got popped with a drug test, the company was nice enough to put me on a 30 day suspension instead of firing me right away, the rehab place I went to cleared me after 6 weeks so I could go back to work, I thought that was nice of them but it really didn't do anything for me as you know......well I ended up losing my job anyways and have had hardships up until about 8 months ago when I landed a pretty good dispatching job. 24 days ago I decided to make a change, I was sick of the chase and throwing my money away. My goal is to be a better father, husband and provider for my family. Suboxone has been a miracle drug. I can not believe the difference it has made in my life. I am so thankful for this medicine. My kids have noticed a difference in me and that is worth it all right there. My wife has also noticed a change, I'm the "old" me, the man she fell in love with. My wife is very understanding since she has gone through this her whole life with her mom and dad being addicts, I guess it's true when the say " history repeats itself". She is one of the reasons I want to change too, drugs in the past has ruined her life and I don't want it to do it again. But ultimately I have to be reminded that I'm doing this for me! I'm not a selfish person and I usually put others first, but I need to realize I have to do this for myself.

There's a little about me, I look forward to talking to you all and looking for you for advice from time to time, I'll be more than happy to talk to any of you, I'm new to recovery but when it comes to life, It seems I've been through it all......

Have a great day, we are one day closer to being free from what has held us captive for so long!

Steve


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:44 am 
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Hey there Wonder/Steve. I've read several of your previous posts and was hoping you might begin your own thread. Now you can receive some suggestions and support that really makes a difference. Plenty of experienced members here I have found that present a side of addiction that non-addicts just can't match.

Glad you find the suboxone to make such a positive difference in your life. It certainly did the same for me. Sorry to hear about the loss of the job. But I personally believe that sometimes those kind of things happen for a reason. And you now have a different one that may turn out better than the previous one!

I had to smile when you mentioned your wife and kids noticing a difference in you. That makes it all so worthwhile right? It's a total new mindframe that suboxone can give you.

Anyway it's nice you joined.

-BP


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:00 am 
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Thanks BP! It does make a HUGE difference, I feel like I'm the "old" me again, a person I lost when I became someone I despised. I hated myself, started Lying, stealing meds, and deceiving people, something I was totally opposed too. I have turned my life around so far and NEVER want to go back to that dark side of me. it's not who I am. I have to keep that focus throughout my recovery.

Thanks to Razor, I started my own thread lol. didn't mean to Hijack emmy's. I read your posts as well, I appreciate them more than you know. look forward to our conversations in the future. are you on Subs now? and if so how long have you been on them?

I did lose that job, but I hated it anyways lol. good pay but hated the situation I put my family in....it is hard to forgive myself for that, but with getting this new job I am learning to forgive myself now. I turned our life around, had a lot of help along the way can't give all the credit to myself, never do and never will. I'm finally getting our finances situated...it's a nice feeling, now that I don't spend hundreds a week on drugs I'm seeing a big difference in the pocket book. I have been advancing rapidly with this new job (dispatching propane trucks) so I've been pretty fortunate.

Talk to ya soon.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 12:30 pm 
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Wonder77 wrote:
are you on Subs now? and if so how long have you been on them?
I was on suboxone for a little over 4 years. I began at 24 mgs and was completely ready to get off. I had changed my entire outlook about my addiction and drug abuse. I tapered down to .25 mg and then jumped.

I have now been completely off the subs and everything else for just over 1 full year. I'm doing real well, but I am seriously considering going back on a maintenance dose of the subs to help prevent against any future relapse. I finally joined here after lurking/reading for quite some time asking the members if my thoughts of getting back on subs was a good one or not, with no relapse or slip ups at all? I have received wonderful input and support either way I decide to go.

I know that Emmy asked where to find my thread, so I am including the link to it below.

Stopped Suboxone. Should I begin again?
topic10173.html

I have read hundreds of posts, but have never read about anyone else considering going back on the subs after such a lengthy time off. You'll get a better idea of what it's all about if you read some of the many posts.

I gained plenty of experience taking the subs and tapering. I made the switch from methadone which took a few tries to be successful with it. It can be a tricky deal that's for sure. I'm here to help anyway I can.

-BP


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 12:47 pm 
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24 mgs is a lot, I'm on 10 mgs per day which I think is too low but they said if I can get by with this low amount, stopping or tapering off won't be as hard, so I'm hoping it works. That's cool you changed your outlook and was able to get off of them.

Dude, that is awesome that you have stayed clean for that long! are you having issues staying sober? is that why are you wanting to go back on it? Keep going man, you are doing great. I'm so happy I found this site and found you as help. I appreciate your willingness to help me. Same to you, you ever need to talk please get ahold of me. my email is stvnwrn@gmail.com in case you ever need it.

I'll check your other thread out as well, thanks!


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:30 pm 
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Wonder77 wrote:
Dude, that is awesome that you have stayed clean for that long! are you having issues staying sober? is that why are you wanting to go back on it? Keep going man, you are doing great.
No, I wouldn't say I'm having "issues" staying sober, I'm doing very, very well actually. It's like I have accomplished this marathon race without ever falling down. Like I have some kind of bragging rights at this point and have reset my addiction level back to zero. I'm very proud of my accomplishment because it took hard work.

But I'm 35 years old and have plans to live many more years. It may not work out that way, but that's my plan anyway. So if I really make it by the Good Lords Grace those additional YEARS, the one year+ I now have since my last dose of addictive substances hardly seems like any real time at all. Overall in the grand scheme of things it a very small amount of time.

I know that relapses happen all the time. Been there, done that many times trying to quit. I personally know a couple addicts that relapsed after many years off everything. And our own Dr. J here relapsed himself after 7 years clean. All it took was one day being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It can happen when we LEAST expect it to happen. I'm sure you know that Steve.

So the reason I'm even considering going back on the subs is to hopefully prevent it from ever happening to me again after some serious time builds up, and to not have to worry so much about it again. I know some might consider me to have lost my mind, and maybe I have, but to me it isn't such a horrible consideration. I'm here trying to get a view of how everyone feels about it, good or not so good. I really appreciate your thoughts on the matter. Every bit of info I receive helps me greatly to make this decision, which will be very soon. I'm in no rush, but don't want it to drag out much longer either.

-BP


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