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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 7:43 am 
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Hey all,

Just wanted to give a little bit of an introduction before really diving in to posting more on the forum.

I'm about to turn 26, and have been battling addiction for a little less than 10 years. It progressed quite slowly, through various substances, which ultimately led me to starting buprenorphine.
My story is similar to a lot of us - started dabbling in opiate pills in 2011 after I had an emergency c-section. The hospital gave me a Percocet prescription upon discharge, and things snowballed from there.
Eventually tolerance increased, as tolerances do, and I was up to about 100 mg of oxycodone daily.
My income did not permit this size of a habit, especially with my son in tow with no financial help from his father.
I knew I couldn't keep purchasing the oxycodone.
I also knew I couldn't withdrawal in front of my son.

I went to inpatient treatment several times, to no avail. I was using again within weeks of successful completions. Something had to give, right?
I unfortunately met a connect in an inpatient facility local to me, and quickly moved onto heroin "because it's cheaper."
*eye roll*
Life became unmanageable almost immediately - thank God my run with heroin was short before starting buprenorphine!
I started treatment in 2015, at 16mg/daily. I stayed at that dose for about 5 months before increasing to 20mg/daily. Until this May - upon discovering my fiancé and I are expecting my second son, I was stable on the 20mgs.
Since we weren't expecting to get pregnant while on maintenance (and based on fear/ignorance on my part,) I tried to stop the buprenorphone all together. Obviously, that didn't go according to plan. My intentions were good, but I couldn't risk miscarriage from stopping abruptly. I've tapered from the previous dose of 20mgs to 4mgs, and switched to subutex.
That's where I'm at now!
I am in an IOP program, despite being sober since 2015. It helps me keep it green at such an important point in my treatment (pregnancy.) I'm also seeing a therapist and frequent AA meetings.

So that's a little about me, anyway. Nice to meet everyone, and thank you all for helping me with the posts on this forum!


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 11:17 am 
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Hey BombDotCom :)

I already responded to a post of yours in the pregnancy section but wanted to welcome u in the introduction section too!!

U know what I keep seeing on the forum from a lot of ppl is going to rehab and it usually follows with a relapse eventually, then thankfully buprenorphine treatment is the thing that truly leads us to success. That's exactly how it happened to me also. I used to feel so disappointed in myself because I wasted all the time and money on rehab and couldn't make it work. I felt embarrassed, I felt like my family just became even more disappointed because I got their hopes up that I'd return well again and I actually returned with depression and a mental mess. I finally relapsed after trying to hold it together for almost 6 months. So seeing how others had a similar experience too, it makes me realize nothing was wrong with me after all.

I'm so glad u joined the forum! Good luck with ur pregnancy too!!!

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 11:26 am 
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Jennjenn, you pretty much hit the nail on the head with the rehab point, I really hated disappointing my family. They would have so much hope, and then I would relapse. Ugh, that sucked!
Thank you again for the welcome :)


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 11:52 am 
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Hi Bomb, Welcome! Love your story! It is a story of success and love! Your love for your unborn child has made you do the right thing. Keeping it green is so important! It is so easy for us to forget how crazy it was and to just want that high feeling again. So glad you are here! Keep up the good work!


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2017 12:01 pm 
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Thanks Michelle. I know that the love I have for my children is what got me sober, but I have to keep reminding myself that I'm -staying- sober not only for them, but for me as well! To be a better mother, a better daughter and just better overall.
It gets tough to keep that confidence sometimes when I think about my unborn and the possibility of nas; but I remind myself that I'm doing the absolute best I can with the cards I've been dealt. :) My second son is going to be just as beautiful as my first - I know that for a fact!


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 4:03 pm 
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Nice to see you here! Welcome!

I've never done inpatient treatment. When I admitted my addiction I was advised to get on suboxone right away. And I love my doctor so much! It's been over 5 years now and he treats me like the knowledgeable person I am. He asks me for my ideas and to look over things he may publish as blog posts. Talking with him has always been a breath of fresh air since he's respected me as a person from the get go. I wish that everyone had access to him or a doctor like Dr. Junig.

I'll be looking for your posts!

Amy

P.S. I know some people say that buprenorphine dulls your emotions, but it doesn't dull mine! I just got all teary writing this post!

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 8:59 pm 
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Hi Bombdotcom,

Nice to meet you and welcome! First of all I must say you sound so positive. That immeditely told me, "She is going to make it" Keep thinking that way. I love it!

I am Queenie. I am referred to as the grandmother of the forum and proud of it. I am 74.

I hope you stay with us. There are a lot of wonderful people here and they are always willing to help.

I hope to hear a lot more from you. I wish you the best. Keep up the good work!

Love, Queenie


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 10:44 am 
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Welcome to posting on the Forum Bombdotcom! Congratulations on your pregnancy. A very good reason to stay the course. I wish you the very best as you & your fiancé welcome a little one into your lives. Also big congrats on getting yourself down to 4 mg. You seem happy & healthy at that dose. I hope some day to be there too. I'm pretty new to Suboxone so I'm still working to get to a comfortable dose.

Well, just wanted to Welcome you & hope you keep reading & posting. It will be exciting to be with you through your pregnancy. :)

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Today I Will Not Worry About the Things I Can Not Control


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Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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