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 Post subject: new member
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 4:30 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:40 pm
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Hi family,I just joined and wanted to talk a bit about why I'm here.I'm a new member but not new to suboxone. I've been on it for about 17 months now and my doctor has started weaning me off about 5 months ago. I have been addicted to narcotic pain pills for about 10 years,and after my tolerance kept going up(I would need more and more pills just to feel high) my "best friend" introduced me to heroin which I totally fell in love with. After being on heroin for only about a year, I ran into a lot of trouble,as I'm sure all us addicts do. I ended up having my 4 kids taken away from me,luckily they were placed with my parents instead of strangers in a foster home. My mom took me to a doctor to start the suboxone and I also went into rehab where I did a 6 week program,started going to N.A. meetings,got a sponser,got rid of all my using buddies,including my youngest son's dad(another addict) you know, did everything I was told to do pretty much. I'm very grateful to say that I got my kids back in January 2009! So everything is kinda back to "normal" and doing good. The thing is I've been on suboxone for a long time and I am really freakin out about getting off. I'm down to taking 8 mg a day and doc is weaning me off super slow,but I'm afraid when I get down to nothing what's gonna happen? Somebody once told me I'm using suboxone as a crutch,and I think ,well,maybe I am,but I'm not shooting up dope so what's the. Problam? If anyone is going thru or has already gone thru what I am I would really love to hear about it! Oh, just some FYI, my clean date is April 26,2008. Looking forward to hear from someone.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 5:14 pm 
Hello and welcome to the forum! Congtratulations on the progress you have made so far! I too was addicted to opiates. Although I did not ever do heroin or other "street drugs", I did take a lot of pain pills and ultimately abused my profession as an RN to obtain IV narcotics. I was just as addicted as the stereotypical back alley drug addict portrayed in the movies. My addiction cost me my career, my self-respect and the respect I worked hard for 20 years to earn from others. You can find more of my story in this forum if you're interested.
In any event - our addictions have cost us all in many different ways. The cost is simply too high to continue on that path! I would never have thought I would do the things I did, as I'm sure you would never have thought you would risk losing your children. So good for you for doing whatever was necessary to get your life back.
I just encourage you to spend lots of time reading every bit of info on this forum in regards to discontinuing your Suboxone. There are many helpful suggestions and encouragement as to how to wean off with as little trouble as possible. You will also find several folks, the physician who created this forum included, who believe there is absolutely nothing wrong with staying on Sub forever!
I have only been on Sub for 6-8 weeks, so all I can tell you is this - While I don't relish the thought of being on it forever, I will gladly take that fate over going back to where I was before. I just plan to take it a few months at a time. I'm pretty sure I'll be on it at least 6-12 months as that is the recommendation of my physician as well as most everyone on the forum. I am on 8mg/day - I have taken as much as 16mg/day but found quickly that 8mg is plenty. I feel stable on that and plan to continue that way until at least the 6 month mark, then go from there.
Again, read, read, read on here - Diary of a Quitter has numerous posts on her very slow taper method and she seems to have done quite well. Try not to be scared by all the scary stories people tell because they are usually from people who did not do a proper taper and probably did not do the other recovery work you have and are doing.
Bottom line for me is that if you find yourself at risk for relapse as you taper and wean of Suboxone, communicate with your physician and slow the taper down. The most important thing here is YOU, your health and your recovery. Your kids need you and if that means you on Suboxone, so be it. It's better than losing you to heroin again!!!
All the best!


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 8:08 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:48 pm
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drg74-
Welcome to the site! I can relate to using with one of your children's fathers, my kid's dad and I were very bad whenever we hung out- it always led to major using. I am glad that you have gotten your life back.It is not easy and losing your children must have been your wake up call.I came close to losing my daughter once, but I was willing to do whatever I was told to keep her.In addiction we just don't realize what blessings we have until it is too late- but with hard work some of us are lucky enough to get a second chance.Be the best parent you can be now, those kids love and need you.
As far as your worrying about being off of Sub, take a deep breath and relax.The long taper is KEY to your treatment.If for some reason you face difficulty beyond measure, you always have the choice to go back on Suboxone. Do not heed the advice of those that say you have taken the easy route or that Suboxone is a crutch.It is a tool of recovery.There are many of them to choose from, and not everyone uses the same tools.To pass judgment on another addict by making a statement like that is very sad.Brush it off and be proud of your choice, whatever it takes!!

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"It is never too late to be what you might have been!" - George Eliot


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