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PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 11:33 am 
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I had solid clean time of 3 months starting from September 1st, 2013 up until December 1st, 2013. Somewhere in December I began to drink, which then turned into benzos, which then turned into methamphetamine, which inevitably landed me to my drug of choice: Heroin (or any opiate for that matter). I went on a 20 day binge starting January 8th to January 28th. I am not an IV user, I mostly just sniff bags or experiment with rectal plugging. On the 19th day, I woke up feeling sore, weak, and sweaty. I thought nothing of it. I thought that perhaps I had a cold because my nose was runny as well. I had two bags left, and so I did one. When I began to feel my symptoms disappear, despite the physical relief I became extremely scared. I just realized that the past 3 weeks had been a total blur, and that it never once crossed my mind that once I run out I will be in physical withdrawal. Or let's say, if it DID cross my mind, I didn't care seeing as I had a large stash remaining. So here I am, one day after the 20 day binge, making it day 21. My last dose of H was around 12:15 PM EST, one bag of H snorted. I managed to acquire Suboxone last night, and today around 9:30 AM I took a small piece (perhaps .5-1mg Bupe) of a Suboxone strip. I have to say that I am feeling much better now, as I woke up in full withdrawal. I am thankful that this wasn't too long of a binge, but I was doing large amounts in a short period of time. Frankly, I did enough to feel like crap without it. Now I really don't want to become dependent on Suboxone, I'd really like to just use this one strip over the next few days by breaking off little pieces to ease my withdrawal symptoms and make them more bearable. Any tips, advice, greetings, or welcoming to the forums would be much appreciated. Thank you.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 11:48 am 
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Hi ayudameporfavor,

Welcome to the forum. It is truly a good thing that you were able to acquire Suboxone so you would not have to go through withdraws after your 20 day binge. Consider yourself lucky that you did not have to go thru the withdraws without anything to help.

There are plenty of tapering plans on this forum that will help you to taper off Suboxone, but I really think you should consider taking Suboxone for a little longer than just to " ease the withdraws"

3 months clean time is something to really be proud of. How did you stay clean during that time? Did you go to meetings or counseling? The reason I ask, is because there needs to be a plan in place if you are wanting to get off drugs forever. Suboxone can be used as a great medication to be on a long term maintenance plan and remain off opiates for good along with addiction counseling or meetings.

The amount that you did on your binge really scares me because there are so many addicts that kill themselves by accident.

Please consider staying on Suboxone longer than just a few days.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 11:51 pm 
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Stay strong. The fact that you care enough to feel guilty is saying something. I can't say much, as I am only 1 week off a my own binge, but I can relate.

My body told me I don't have any left in me and so I found myself here as well. There are some amazing members here with tons of knowledge and encouragement so please feel free to talk with the great community.

I have only been here a week but have gotten some great information and I can tell there will be plenty of people willing to lend their support to talk you through some of your issues or help point you in the direction of someone who can help.

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:14 am 
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Welcome to the forum! I know it's frustrating to feel like you're constantly starting over at the end of a relapse. Please consider finding a suboxone doctor and getting into a program to help you keep from relapsing again. There are many people who have been on suboxone for years, have stable lives, jobs, and have been free from relapse for years. Please consider it!

Amy

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Done is better than perfect!


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:58 pm 
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Welcome from me as well!

I guess you are noticing a trend in the responses to you here. Although I'm not going to say you couldn't get clear of your WD's using only the one suboxone strip you have, I'm going to agree with those who have already suggested you finding a doctor and getting into a program of your own. Most of us here have been where you are, and after many years of struggling through relapse after relapse have finally realized that repeating the same thing over and over again just wasn't going to work.

The issue at hand isn't only getting yourself well after your binge, it's more about deciding what you will do to keep yourself from another relapse in the future. That is where suboxone is especially effective. You never know how many of these binges you have left in you before you finally run out of luck. People die every day in this country after having years of clean time under their belt and finding themselves in the middle of a relapse that they didn't make it out of.

I hope you will give this some thought in the next few days. In the mean time, I am hoping you are feeling well and giving your body time to recover from the binge you just came out of. Best of luck!

Q

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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 1:27 pm 
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I'm sorry to hear about your relapse, but try to forgive yourself as you make strides to get clean again. I agree with everyone else that staying on subs through a treatment program may be for the best, it doesn't have to be long term but don't rush it. Just don't.

But no matter what you do, everyone says the key is to stay busy. When I got better I volunteered because it felt good enough giving back to others, something many addicts get to enjoy when they find recovery as it provides complete contrast to the nature of depending. Keep your self esteem afloat, do the things you love (but not drugs).


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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