It is currently Mon Aug 21, 2017 12:24 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 17 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 2:37 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2011 2:25 pm
Posts: 8
Hi everyone, new member here. My name is Bryan, and I'm from the dc area. Ive used rx opiates for the last 2 yrs or so for stomach issues and became addicted. Just started suboxone yesterday and am feeling better than I have in a long time. Hoping to make some new friends here, and learn how to stay clean.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 5:17 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
Hi Bryan, welcome to the forum!

Congratulations on recognizing your addiction and taking a great big step forward by taking Suboxone. Suboxone is a great drug for us opiate addicts, especially when combined with counselling. Have you looked into any kind of counselling yet? Counselling can help you to learn how to stay clean.

Again, glad to have you here and I'm happy you found Suboxone. It has saved many, many of us.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Welcome
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2011 7:15 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2011 12:35 am
Posts: 2802
Location: Southwest
Good to have you here Bryan. Hopefully you can get some recovery program to help you deal with the demons of addiction. The Sub will help with the cravings and this site is just one more tool to use to keep clean.

There is a wealth of information here so take your time and check it out.

I wish you the best in recovery.

Tom


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:04 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2011 2:25 pm
Posts: 8
Thanks for all the welcomes, greatly appreciated. I've been writing out my story for the past 4 hrs or so and I'm still not done. Once I finish it, I will post it here. It will be lengthy, so thank you in advance for reading it. I've only been on suboxone a little over 36 hrs now, but I can tell it will be a lifesaver for me. These past 36 hrs have been free of cravings of any kind. I've noticed improvement in my mood, and even a little bit of energy without being high. I can only hope this continues as I transition from subutex to suboxone in another day or two. I'm actively searching for a therapist to see, and am ready to begin attending NA meetings in my area. One thing I wondered about was whether it was ok to attend and be involved in the fellowship if you're taking suboxone. I called the hotline, and the gentleman that answered said I wouldn't technically be clean. I'd appreciate any thoughts anyone may have regarding this because I recognize that while suboxone is a part of my recovery, it isn't the cure all. I know there's more to recovery than taking this medication. To me, sobriety is a life or death issue, and I need to do all I can to maintain it. I'm very glad/grateful I've discovered this place, and look forward to making friends and connections here with people with problems like me in the hopes that just maybe we can help each other stay on the road to recovery. One day at a time. There are many things I don't know about how to stay sober, but a few things I'm sure of are that I'm an addict, I belong here, and my name is Bryan...... everything else will come with time. Take care and God bless.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:33 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Good day and WELCOME! I'm glad you found the forum and I'm sure you'll find the support here to be invaluable to your remission/recovery, just as I have.

I think it stinks that you were told that being on sub is not clean. Many people on this forum do attend either AA or NA. Some people keep their sub use private, others have actually found the right group to accept them fully. You're on a doctor-prescribed medication...would you not be clean if you were taking insulin or high BP medication? I think the whole idea that sub prevents one from being considered clean is a real shame and pretty damn unfair. You're out of active addiction and all the things that go along with it. That, to me, IS indeed being clean.

Again, welcome. I look forward to hearing more from you. Oh and congrats on starting sub!

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Welcome!!!
PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:53 am 
Offline
Super-Duper Poster
Super-Duper Poster
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 12, 2009 10:02 am
Posts: 308
Location: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Hi There NB1981 (Brian),
Welcome to the Forum and what I think will become a Big part of your Recovery. At least it has for Me. I would just like to add to what hatmaker said. You are indeed "Clean" for being "Dirty" witch is the other option means that you are active in using your DOC! This is NOT the case with you / Us! I am a Addict and an Alcoholic and I am very active in the AA community! However I choose to keep my Suboxone Rx to myself. That is not because I am ashamed or anything like that. I just find it easier to keep some of my personal Recovery just that.... "Personal".... IMHO you are NOT Technically Clean.... You ARE Clean and in Recovery and for that you should be Proud!! I'm glad you found this Forum and I hope you look around and then stay and post some more of your story! That is how we all help each other by sharing our Ups & Downs and learn how to deal with them together!!! :) So Welcome and I wish you continued success in your Recovery. Take care and please post again Soon!

God Bless
TW

_________________
"I may not have ALL I want but thank's to God I now know that I have ALL I need !!!!!!
#############
ODAAT


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:20 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2011 2:25 pm
Posts: 8
Good evening everyone,

As promised, here is my story. I wasn't able to finish the rest, so here is part one. As I said, it is lengthy, so thank you in advance for reading.



My parents split when I was 12 due to my father's addiction to opiates. My mother @ that time was a recovering alcoholic and addict, so I was exposed to AA and NA at a young age. My father died 7 yrs later from a drug od and a bad heart. Around that time, my mother began manifesting signs of bipolar disorder, and for reasons that escape me @ this time, began using opiates again. Both began like many of us do, legitimately prescribed. Before my father died, I had only used alcohol some....the pills came much later.


My first experience with opiates was 5 years or so ago, after I hurt my ankle. The er doc sent me home with 20 percocet 5/325. It was love at first sight. I finally felt like I understood why my father ever became addicted..... that should have been my first warning of things to come. I remember splitting the pills and just taking just 2.5 mg of oxycodone. Those pills lasted me almost a week. When it was time to stop, of course I didn't want to, but they wouldn't give me more, so I stopped. I went another year or so and was prescribed percocet again for another legitimate reason, and the same thing happened, and then again two years ago after having my tonsils removed.  I was taking 15mg of oxycodone every 4 hrs every day for about a month. The meds were legitimately needed for three of those weeks, but the last week was for fun. When I ran out, I experienced my first withdrawals. I remember having really bad body aches and insomnia for 4 days, then I was ok. About that same time, I began having issues with my stomach....pain, diarrhea, ect. I went to see a gi doc who thought maybe I had some sort of inflammatory bowel disease, and was put on a few medications, one of which was tramadol. I remember him specifically telling me it was non narcotic, non addictive,ect. I found out quickly this wasn't the case, and began abusing it. The medical workup lasted months, all of which I continued abusing the tramadol. About 3 months in, my use exceeded my prescribed amount, and I experienced the nightmare that is tramadol withdrawal, the first time of many. For me, this was worse than the withdrawal I experienced with oxycodone, and it lasted almost two weeks. The worst part was the insomnia. That lasted longer than the body aches, creepy crawling sensations, and the electric shock feelings. I did not have any seizures, and I thank God for that. The only thing that ended the wd was another script of tramadol, which I got two weeks later. This continued for several months as my medical workup continued. During this time, I minorly hurt my shoulder while helping my neighbor lift something. He was taking opiates for chronic back pain, and I guess he felt bad and offered me some meds, which I took. He gave me quite a bit of ms contin and oxycodone..... apparently he barely took his meds and had quite a bit stockpiled. Between this new source and my regular tramadol, I continued using. Firstly, it prevented my stomach pain and diarrhea. More importantly, I loved the energy and great mood it gave me. I felt like I was on top of the world. Over this past summer, my gi symptoms got worse, and was prescribed oxycodone legally for it. I still had no diagnosis...... my doc was insistent it was inflammatory bowel disease, and said that it often took months to have a confirmed diagnosis. After 2 weeks of this "flare up" of gi symptoms my dose of oxy was raised by my doctor to 20mg every 4 hrs. My use quickly exceeded my script and got out of control. I was taking close to 70-80mg at a time. I also began purchasing the oxy illegally from the street as not to arouse suspicion. This went on for a month and a half. My doctor performed one last test, which came back negative. At this time, he concluded that there was nothing wrong with me. He told me it was all in my head, and stopped prescribing narcotics. While my use of drugs far exceeded the prescribed amount, the abdominal pain, diarrhea, vomiting ect was real. My source of meds dried up, and I withdrawaled again, and when it was over, my gi symptoms persisted. I tried abstaining from narcotics for a period to see if maybe they were the cause, and actually went one month without using, but the symptoms persisted. One if the last times I saw my doctor I was given a script for a years supply of tramadol. Having no source of narcotics, I got it filled. I went to a pharmacy I had never been to before and paid cash.....13 bucks for 240 trams wasn't a bad deal to me. My tramadol use spiralled out of control. At the height, I was taking 40-50 50mg tramadol pills a day. Anything over 8 pills/400 mg and the seizure risk is elevated. I only actually seized once that I know of. I was on my couch talking to my wife, and was alert, the next memory I have was dreaming my wife was on the phone with 911 because something was wrong with my son. Right after she called, I came to, and she informed me the medics were on the way because I all of a sudden stopped talking mid sentence, got this terrified look on my face, and couldn't speak. I then lost consciousness, and had about a minute or so of convulsions.....followed by unconsciousness for 3 or 4 minutes. This was all in front of our almost 3 year old son. The medics came, urged me to go to the er, but I refused. I felt fine and knew full well what had happened. I wish I could tell you this was my rock bottom, but it wasn't. The realization that I was an addict came full circle to both me and my wife that day, but I wasn't ready to stop.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:11 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 7:30 pm
Posts: 68
Location: Portland OR
I can't wait to hear the rest of your story. I too, started with tramadol....and ended with shooting up heroin several times a day. But I am close to 6 months clean now!

Wishing you the best here, and I know you will find great support here!

Jessica

_________________
*MissHNOMO*


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Hi
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:25 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:44 pm
Posts: 460
Location: New York
Hello Bryan, Welcome to the forum. My name is Queenie, the grandmother of the forum.

Wow, what a story so far. So glad you found us.

Boy, addiction, huh? Something else. As I always say, we are different but we are so much alike. If that is your picture , you are a male. I am a female. You are younger than me. I am 68. You are white, I am Black Hispanic. But, Oxycodone, Tramadol and all those other devil drugs don't discriminate. They try to get everybody. Young, old, male female, doesn't matter. I had many surgeries and a left leg amputation. The sickenng thing is at those times, I didn't care because I knew I was gonna get some good narcotics. I think back now. How horrible for something to control you that much. Thank goodness for Suboxone. We are on our way Bryan. Don't give up and don't give in.

I look forward to reading more about you. Again, welcome and please stay. I think you will like the people here very much. They are great.

Love, Queenie


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject: Tramadol..............
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 7:14 pm 
Offline
Super-Duper Poster
Super-Duper Poster

Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2009 8:58 pm
Posts: 322
Lets see, wife, son and God, Tramadol was for sure the 4th love of my life... I ONLY used tramadol, hated every other kind of pain pill, tried them all, had to have my tramadol, I got up to 19- 50mg pills a day... took me 4 yrs to get to 19 pills.. I knew from the beginning I was going to have a problem with them, even though a Dr gave them to me for a future spine surgery fusion procedure, The pain I was in was incredible, but I learned to love the pills much more than the pain ( hope that makes sense ) I remember starting out the day with 6, I had so much energy, I have been searching for that energy ever since I stopped... You mentioned insomnia, I have never slept the same since I quit tramadol , in other words I have slept like shit for the last 18 months, Welcome, Mike


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 8:00 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 7:30 pm
Posts: 68
Location: Portland OR
Painter,

I know what you mean about having no energy now. I just started to have a ton of energy after being off heroin and onto sub for 5 months. But as I mentioned above, tramadol was my love for awhile and then I switched it up.

Are you on sub now?


hang in there....real energy can take a very long time to come back.

_________________
*MissHNOMO*


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 11:13 am 
Hi newbeginning. Thank you for sharing "part 1" of your story. You're doing a great job of telling it! I remember when I started writing about my story here.....It was difficult but good for me at the same time. I hope you'll get some relief by sharing about what is surely some of the more painful memories of your life. Here's the thing....These can become just that....memories. It is really hard for an addict or alcoholic to do that. We tend to go back time and time again despite all the pain these substances have caused us. It makes no sense but something within us has "clicked" and the "addict side" of us just doesn't want to die! The pull of the drugs is so very strong. I think you know that all too well.
I'm so glad you started Sub. It has really been a God send for me. At first, I thought that I would just use it for a short while and then I'd be "fixed." It didn't take too long for me to realize it wasn't going to work that way. I actually almost tapered completely off after being on it for about 15 months. Sadly, I had a brief relapse with oxycodone at that time. That was around Christmas. I quickly realized my mistake and knew that I was going to slide right back down into Hell again if I didn't just accept that I needed more time on Sub. I am now back up at a therapeutic dose and doing pretty good. I've got more work to do and Sub allows me to do that work without having to battle the physical w/d and what I sometimes call "the head stuff" that goes on when my brain is free from all opiates.
Anyway....I suppose that may not be of particular interest to you at this point as you're just getting started on the road, but for whatever reason that is what I had for you this morning. I also want you to know that the whole "clean/dirty" thing is a bunch of crap, in my humble opinion. We've discussed it all on the forum before. Don't you worry about it. It's nobody's business what medications you take. If you're taking only drugs that are legally prescribed for you the way and the times that they're prescribed, that's what matters. This is a great drug, but you're still going to have a lot of work to do in order to get yourself healthy again.....mind, body and soul. So settle in, enjoy how well you're feeling and get to work! I'm so happy to see someone finding the way to put their life back together!
I'll be anxiously awaiting "part 2!"


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2011 3:57 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2010 2:20 pm
Posts: 635
Welcome to the forum, Bryan and welcome to addiction remission with Subxone. You're going to be OK, man. Thanks for sharing your story with us, I am looking forward to the rest of it.


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 8:42 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2011 2:25 pm
Posts: 8
Hi everyone,

Thanks for all of the welcomes. I'm sorry I haven't posted in a bit..... I've recently returned to work full time and haven't had much time for anything but that. In the next few days, i will post part two of the story. I'm happy to report I'm on day 42 of suboxone and still doing well.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Hi
PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 8:45 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2011 2:25 pm
Posts: 8
queenie1959 wrote:
Hello Bryan, Welcome to the forum. My name is Queenie, the grandmother of the forum.

Wow, what a story so far. So glad you found us.

Boy, addiction, huh? Something else. As I always say, we are different but we are so much alike. If that is your picture , you are a male. I am a female. You are younger than me. I am 68. You are white, I am Black Hispanic. But, Oxycodone, Tramadol and all those other devil drugs don't discriminate. They try to get everybody. Young, old, male female, doesn't matter. I had many surgeries and a left leg amputation. The sickenng thing is at those times, I didn't care because I knew I was gonna get some good narcotics. I think back now. How horrible for something to control you that much. Thank goodness for Suboxone. We are on our way Bryan. Don't give up and don't give in.

I look forward to reading more about you. Again, welcome and please stay. I think you will like the people here very much. They are great.

Love, Queenie
Thanks for posting. You're spot on, but no, that isn't my pic. My fave character in a movie :)


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 7:25 am 
Yeah... just keep on mind that nothing good come easy..


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2012 7:25 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2011 2:25 pm
Posts: 8
Hi all,

It's been almost a year since I logged into the forums here, so I wanted to say hello to the few people who I spoke with. Between working full time, raising a rambunctious 4 year old boy, and everything else, things have been chaotic. First and foremost though, I'm happy to report that i'm still taking suboxone, and have been since I posted last. Aside from some lingering financial difficulties from my aforementioned absense from work, things have been good. In the coming days, I want to try and finish my "part 2" of my story that I started, and become more involved here.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 17 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group