It is currently Sun Aug 20, 2017 10:54 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 8:14 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 3:34 am
Posts: 28
Location: Northern California
Hi everybody!

The first thing I want to say is how happy I am to have found this forum. I joined about a week ago and have been reading a bit every day. This is an awesome online community and I have learned so much already in the short time I have been here. The knowledge, feelings, opinions and support of one another that I see expressed here are nothing short of amazing. I began my sub induction on Friday, January 14th and although I have taken sub in the past as a detox med, this is my first venture into maintenance. I have a wonderful doctor, nurse and counselor but was feeling very alone and a bit scared as I began treatment. I don't feel comfortable sharing my decision to take suboxone with my friends in 12 step recovery at this time, so this forum truly is a godsend for me.

I'll give a bit of my back-story first and I apologize in advance for the length. I first started using opiates in 1984. From 84-90 I used heroin. The first two years I managed to use without picking up a physical habit, but from 1987-1991 I was strung out more often than not. I cleaned up intermittently usually by doing a 21 day methadone detox and temporarily moving away from the people, places and things that were part of my using. In 1990 I underwent a lot of change in my life; I graduated from college, got my first apartment and first full-time "real job" and broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years who had been my partner in using. I stopped using opiates but I made no attempt at any sort of recovery, in fact I don't think I even had any clue what recovery was at that point. I do know that I wasn't the same person emotionally as I was before heroin came into my life. I became severely depressed and since 1992 have been on anti-depressants. For many years after stopping heroin I self-medicated with alcohol and various other substances when I could get them. I was desperately unhappy. In 2006 some really sad things happened in my life and I started using the vicodin that I was prescribed for my back more and more frequently. My use increased and about 14 months later I had a hefty oxy/norco/methadone habit and had burned through a modest sum of money I had inherited. I eventually decided that enough was enough (and I was out of cash) and entered a year long intensive outpatient program through my medical insurance (Kaiser). Before entering the program I was detoxed off the pills via a 21 day suboxone taper. I remember that experience with sub being so fricking great. I felt "normal" for the first time in years! When the taper ended I didn't have any lingering withdrawals except some trouble sleeping. I became very involved in NA and my outpatient program. I had 15 months clean when I received a devastating medical diagnosis. I lost faith that I deserved anything good in life and I started drinking heavily and using vicodin when I could get it. It took me two months to burn out, hit bottom and end up in a 28 day residential rehab. Once again rejuvenated I re-entered NA, got a sponsor, worked the steps, took service positions, and worked really hard on developing a relationship with my higher power. This past summer my chronic low-level back pain became acute and I found out that I have two herniated discs. I was prescribed vicodin and took it as prescribed for a few months. And then I started taking more. And more. And every time I tried to stop I got sicker than I even believed possible for a 50-70 mg a day hydro habit. With each successive relapse it takes me less time to pull my head out and get into treatment, so two weeks ago I was back at Kaiser. They started me on a Tramadol detox and after three days I met with the doctor who treated me in 2007 and we discussed the pros and cons of an open-ended sub maintenance program. Based on my history and current feelings I decided to go for it and started on January 21st.

I feel a tremendous sense of relief, freedom and certainty that I have made the right decision. My panic and anxiety attacks are gone and I can get more than a few hours of sleep each night. My physical adjustment to the sub has been kind of rocky this time though. I talked to the sub program nurse last Wednesday about it and she said to give it two weeks and that things should get better, but I am not sure they are, so I am going to call again tomorrow. The doctor decided to start me at 8 mgs of sub (split dose) per day even though I didn't have a huge habit this time around (10-14 5/500 vicodin per day). I expected to feel more or less normal like I did the first time I took sub. Instead I felt really *high* physically and mentally for the first three days. No euphoria, but everything else: excess energy for about two hours after dosing followed by nodding out, lethargy, bizarre dreams, difficulty reading or focusing on the computer screen, appetite suppression etc. I definitely did not trust myself to drive in this state! About 8-10 hours after my morning dose the symptoms would start to abate. When I took the second 4 mg dose each day it was the same cycle again. Beginning with Day 4 these side effects started to lessen and I have been able to work and conduct my regular life stuff. BUT, I still spend a few hours following each dose feeling energized and then i'm extremely lethargic and "noddy" for a few more hours. The nurse and doctor told me last week that as I stabilized on the medication these effects would go away and I would feel "normal". Has anyone else reading this experienced these types of reactions when starting sub? I'm sure I am not supposed to feel this way. I don't like feeling slow and drugged. I think it must be a dosing issue, either too high or too low. It doesn't seem possible to me that it could be too low, but then when I read about the "ceiling effect" of sub I get confused and think that maybe I am going through these cycles with each dose because my receptors aren't getting enough sub to even everything out and maintain a steady state of saturation. Like I said, I am going to talk to my doctor about it since today was Day 11, but if anyone in this forum has any knowledge or insight to share I would greatly appreciate it.

Again I want to say how glad I am that this forum is here and that I found it! I apologize for being so long-winded with my very first post, but I do feel better having written things down. I look forward to getting to know everyone better.

Thank you!!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: welcome
PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 11:40 am 
Offline
Super-Duper Poster
Super-Duper Poster

Joined: Thu Nov 25, 2010 6:39 pm
Posts: 311
Hi Annabella and welcome. Some how it seems as though your post was missed...

I just wanted to say that it appears Sub is the right choice for you given your history. I have a chronic relapsing history and am grateful for sub. I had been on methadone maintenance for 3 years and then just recently switched to sub.

I am not sure about what you are going through currently, physically, with Sub. I know I have read others who have said they got high on Sub when they first took it, and at lower doses I've heard others say they felt 'high'. I don't remember what dose you said you are on.....but it could be the dose, it could be you adjusting, it could be the other medical problem you talked about....I know you'll get a lot of support here and i hope you stick around.

Keep posting about your experiences...and you'll get some great feedback I am sure.

_________________
"The only way out is through"
Fritz Perls
(talking about FEELINGS here!)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 12:49 pm 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:28 pm
Posts: 134
Welcome!*


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 1:55 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 3:34 am
Posts: 28
Location: Northern California
Thank you for the welcome Chinagirl and Moman!
Chinagirl, when I made this first post it showed up twice for some unknown reason. I did receive warm welcomes from others on the forum on the first post, which appeared about 20 minutes before this version. I am so thankful for this forum and for everyone who has reached out to me in response to my identical posts!

Today is Day 15. My dose is 8 mg a day. I no longer having overwhelming side effects but am still experiencing some lingering issues. (I thought that I was feeling "high" those first few days, but realized that since I wasn't getting any euphoria, I should probably refer to the symptoms as side effects.)

My main problem is with the drowsiness (an icky nodding-type drowsiness) which was most pronounced the the first four or five days I was taking sub. It occurs about three hours after I take my dose and lasts an hour or two. It's definitely gotten much better, but I am still having issues with it when I am at work. I work an 8-5 job and am on a computer for almost my entire workday and honestly, it's boring/unimaginative work, so there's not much intellectual or physical activity going on anyway. When I get drowsy it is very hard to focus and work at my regular pace. I was splitting my dose 4 mg in the morning in 4 in the late afternoon/early evening per my doctor's recommendation. The last few days I have been taking 2 mg in the morning and 6 mg in the afternoon and it has definitely improved the drowsiness-at-the-computer problem. Unfortunately, now I am having problems getting to bed on time at night, but that has always been an issue for me. I just need to force myself to go to bed even though I don't feel ready. I am going to see how it goes for the next three or four days and if the drowsiness doesn't continue to subside I am going to ask my doctor if I can go to 6 mg total per day. I really want to get to where I dose only once per day. The twice a day dosing reminds me of when I was taking vicodin and I am trying to eliminate as many of those behavior patterns as possible.

I am on the sub program through my health insurance/hmo (Kaiser) and one of the program requirements is a once weekly group meeting with a counselor and others in the program. I attended my second group yesterday and am finding it very helpful and cool. Yesterday I brought up the side effects I've been experiencing and the feedback was interesting. Many people said they only had them for a day or two, a few people had experiences like mine where it took a several weeks to adjust, and two people said they still "feel" their dose almost every day. It reinforced what I have read and been advised of here in the forum and was reassuring.

Overall I am feeling really good and am so very thankful that sub was available to me and that I have found support and knowledge here and through kaiser. I know that given my history, sub is the right choice for me. Whether I am on it for life is not something I am even thinking about right now. I have my plate full getting my life back on track, working on recovery and taking advantage of opportunities to grow in my life. I have not felt this positive about the future in a very, very long time and I am very grateful. What an amazing gift.

Thank you again for the kind welcome and support. I truly appreciate it and look forward to being a part of this forum.

~Anna


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group