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PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 12:58 am 
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Hi guys,


I am a heroin addict. I have been using for several years, on and off. I usually use for a few months, go 2-3 months clean, then use again for 6 months, rinse, repeat. I have used sub to combat w/d in the past, but never got on an actual plan. I am shit scared, as I know I need help. I have done the at home detox thing many times, and even gotten through it, while functioning, but it just seems so impossible to do anymore. Each detox has gotten progressively worse than the one before it, and last time it was so goddamnit agonizing I swore that I could never go through it again. And I still think that.


Last time, and I shit you not, this is how it happened. I stopped taking H, then for the next 5-6 days I would take a small amount of suboxone each day to keep the acute w/d at bay, which it kind of helped, but not really. Just made me barely well enough to work, and not kill myself (though I wanted to). So after the 6th day i stopped the subs. And man, my acute withdrawal lasted SOOOOO FUCKINGG LONGGGG! It wasnt until around 30 days in that I stopped feeling the physical symptoms of withdrawal. In the past, I got past the physical part in about 7-12 days. So i assumed this was because of the suboxone I took during that first week. I know I can't put myself through it again. I have to function and work. I just tried to kick for the last 2 days, and relapsed. I cannot function at work while in w/d. It's simply impossible. I've looked into it, and my insurance will not cover the suboxone medication, nor any type of inpatient therapy. I have never tried inpatient, and was never open to the idea until now. I really want to just tap out of everything and check in, but I simply cant because I can't have my family put up 10 grand, especially since we've been down this same road before. That and one of my brothers is in rehab right now, so I cannot add to that burden and still live with myself.


So I've done some reading on here, and elsewhere, about sub treatment. I know its no joke. The w/d from what I hear, is very long, and given my limited experience, I have no trouble believing that. I just don't see what other options I have at the moment. If I am going to keep my car, pay my bills, ect, I have to work, and the only way I can continue to work is if I am not feeling withdrawal. And the only answer there seems to be subs. I just know its not a long term solution. I have read stories of people jumping off from insanely high doses (32mg) and not feeling any symptoms until a week in, and feeling awful for months after that. But what really scares me is when people say the same thing about jumping off of .02 mg! What is the point if I am going to have to endure longer, more painful withdrawal?


I don't know if I am the best candidate for this treatment, but my options sure are slim.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 9:42 am 
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it sounds like you are the perfect candidate man!. suboxone is a form of maintenence for people like you AND ME, who can't just tap out of everything for a few months and check into a rehab. suboxone allows us to live our everyday lives while working on our recovery.

now, about what you've heard...MOST of it isn't neccesarily true. it realy depends on how much you put into your recovery. i would reccommend trying it. i would also reccomend you do addiction counseling as well, go to meeting often, and use the suboxone as directed.if you do any other drugs, i would also say stop those...the thing with suboxone is, it's different for everybody...the smaller details of it, that is. if you're on a stable dose, you won't feel w/d's or cravings...and in my case, i havent desired the other drugs i was using either...i believe if you work the program the right way, the withdrawl won't be terrible...there will be at least some withdrawl, but by the time you are done with treatment(it is actually reccommended as a longer term treatment) your life will be so far from that of a drug addict's, that the w/d will probably be more like having the flu for a little while...see, withdrawl is so horrible right now, b/c we are in the midst of active using, and our brains are trained to know that taking more opiates makes everything better...and that's what we're used to doing, taking more everytime we feel shitty....well once we are stable on suboxone, and counseled, and recovered for a certain period of time, our brains have that length of time to reset that type of thinking...and after a year or 2 on suboxone (its actually reccommended to be on OVER 1 year), we won't be taking on that withdrawl as a full blown opiate addict...we'll be facing it almost like the first time we w/d'd from anything.(not really knowing exactly what it was, until it was over)

i hope i was helpful to you and i hope whatever decision you make that you find peace and comfort and beat the devil man. God bless you

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It's All God's Children Singing Glory, Glory, Hallelujah, He Reigns!


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 12:40 pm 
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I agree, I think you would benefit greatly from suboxone treatment. Have you tried calling any doctors to see if they are accepting new patients? I would try that then go from there. If they are not accepting try to get on a waiting list. You'll feel better I promise!


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 12:25 am 
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I agree with He-Reigns, and don't worry about jumping form Subs... when and if you get ready for that there are plenty of way to minimize the negative side effects that come with PAWS... with the most positive side effect: you living.

Worry about the beginning of your treatment first and work on that, then we can help you and support you through the end of it... if and when you're ready for that.

We are glad you found us. Please stay, and read, and post... This community is here to offer support and knowledge to help you through your recovery.

John

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" Each relapse starts with one thought— maybe, just maybe, this time will be different… that little thought has killed thousands and thousands of opiate addicts over the years."
- Dr Jeffery Junig (Subox Doc)


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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