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PostPosted: Sun Aug 10, 2014 2:00 pm 
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Well, I dont know how wisei am, ha, but I wasnt always this way.
After the first two months or so on sub, I realized I needed mlre education of everything subox.
Most dr s im afraid dont know.
They cant, unless they bn in our shoes.
This is why I push anyone who will listen to leaner as much as they can from our Dr Junig. Its all there. Ive found way to much misinformation on forums, even this one some..
Ife read doc s book, his bupe guide too.Hell, his whole story is right here on the forum.
If anyone is useing the AddictionRemission app, you can find infomuch easier, imo..download it. Great search section too..On the TALKZONE..posts by the dr himself.
You cant really beat others experiences in recovery, but so many must be taken with a gain of salt as they say. I want facts, the best I can find. He is in recovery himself.
He knows opiate addiction. .bn there, done that..Twice!

Anyway, hope you, and everyone are hsving a great "Clean Emough" sunday.

Raz....


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 10, 2014 4:14 pm 
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Mr. G 99,
THAT WAS GREAT SIMPLE ADIVCE MAN.
as they say in 12 step. Keep it simple...and congrats on your upcoming year....


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 10, 2014 5:23 pm 
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Hey John. I just read through your opening post and i'm glad to see you've decided to get help. It takes a Hell of alot of pain and suffering to gain the strength to changee!! You can tell by reading your story that you made up your mind. Suboxone Should get you away from the doctor jumping for a few years. I did the same after an accident in '06. When i started sub in 2010, i never looked back. I actually quit taking it 6 or so months ago. It saved my life, and im confident its going to save yours. Btw, it will deffinately help deppression for the first few years. Just make sure you dont take too much. Its pretty effective even when taking 4-8 mg doses. I'm not a doctor, just wanted to give you a heads up.

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Fear is Temporary, Regret is Forever


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 2:22 pm 
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Thanks for posting Mr. G and Hope. Than you for your words of encouragement... all of them.

Razor, sorry it took me this long to get back to you. I kind of used this weekend to catch up on my rest. The nights of not sleeping and feeling charged up had caught up with me. I am back at school.today (meetings and working in the classroom...kids start next Monday). I think.somewhere between 4 and 8/mgs is the right dose for me. That dose kills the cravings but doesn't go to far and over drugging me...leave me feeling tired but unable to sleep.

I was worried that I wouldn't be able to stay awake during these teacher meetings. Nicotine, for whatever reason, has always worked well for me in staying awake. While driving in long trips, I often keep a dip of snuff in, and this does the trick in keeping me up, especially while on opiates. I always liked that combination...hydro's and Copenhagen. But I had promised my older son that I wouldn't dip anymore. Plus there is no good way to hide a dip at work. So last night I bought some Nicorette gum. It didn't work as well as the snuff at keeping me awake, but it did a pretty good job. I got heavy eyelids a couple of times, but I didn't embarrass myself by nodding off.

My body is taking a little time in getting used to the subs. I agree with you, Mr. G...it will just take a little time.

Razor I was happy to read that you got your wife back. That is part of your story that I misunderstood. I have watched some of Dr. Junig's YouTube videos, and they have been helpful. He is easier to believe since he has had problems with Opiate addiction.

I will talk to you all soon. My class us a mess, and I need to get it in order....another school year is here.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 4:26 pm 
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Sounds good.....all of it john..
Need any need to say yr sorry mann

4 to 8mgs is right. You can refine it as ya go..

Glad you joined us Subime. I didnt know Anything about sub till i found this great place.4 years ago...so.

Best of luck with class. My mon taugbt for 28 years. Loved it. Even starting back in the fall..haha..

We ll ttyl john. . Razor R...


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 8:00 am 
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Hey sublime
Hows the sub going?..update maybe..
Im sure your in the swing of thingsat school and all.
Hope all is well.....

Razor


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2014 12:39 am 
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Razor,
Thanks for checking up on me. It has between a while since I've been on this board but felt the need to come and check in tonight.

I went in for my second visit to the the sub clinic today. The clinic is only open two days a week, Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and I some how got my appointment day messed up last week when I was actually scheduled to go in. I showed up last Thursday and the clinic was closed. I felt like a fool, having taken a half day out of work for nothing. I was also afraid that I was headed to a massive withdrawal since I only had 3 8 mg packets left. To be honest, I freaked out a little. I have had no experience going without Suboxone, and I thought if it was anything like hydrocodone withdrawal, then I was in for a tough time.

So I called the lady who answers the phone on off days and gives info for new clients. She bluntly told me there was nothing they could do for me. I thought they might call me in enough to get me through until the next visit. But she unsympathetically told me tough luck. I called my PCP, and he said there is nothing he could do for me, even though he is one of the doctors who works at my Suboxone clinic. I was feeling pretty afraid and hopeless, and it kind of sucks in those situations to not get any sympathy or help.

Well anyways after I got over freaking out and feeling sorry for my self, I made a plan to make it through the week without hitting withdrawals too badly. I cut my 8 mg strips in half, and that left me about 6 x 4/mg doses. I took one ever night, and I was pleasantly surprised by my experience. I escaped most of the symptoms I associate with opiate withdrawal. The only thing I noticed was feelings of depression coming on during the last couple of days.

So I went back today and everything is fine. The only thing that showed up on my drug screening besides Suboxone was Klonopin. The doctor, who is a little rough around the edges began questioning me about my Klonopin. He asked why I took I it, then he looked down at his paperwork and said I know you got a refill on September 27. I politely reminded him that I had been upfront about taking Klonopin, and that I followed their instructions in weaning myself down from 4 mg a day to 2 mg. He then went into his speach about how deadly Klonopin is, the same speech he had given me the pervious month. He told me the combination is deadly, shuffled his papers, and looked up and said, "You've been warned."

School is going OK. I do think the Suboxone is helping. I'm not nearly as depressed and anxious while on it. My problems with constipation have gotten better. After the first week I questioned if would even be able to take the drug since it caused so many issues using the bathroom (rather, not being able to), but I've gone back to bring regular, which was a welcome relief. The only real side effects I'm dealing with more are breaking out on my face (under my eyes and over my nose), a dry, ashy type complexion, and some disturbing dreams. I'm also having problems remembering things that i normally wouldn't forget. I hope these side effects will subside as well.

I will write more soon. Thanks again for checking in on me. I hope all is well with you.

Hey, the Mountaineers don't look to bad this year. They have Alabama all they wanted.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2014 7:19 am 
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Hey john,

Ok, so you are learning lessons of being in this program. Number One, do not go against anything your dr want you to do. Its that simple.
He will stop giving you your sub if you do not stop your benzo.most are like this. They wont take the chance of something going wroug. He will just find somebody dlse to fill your spot. Sorry, thats how I see it..
Ive dealt with this ki d of thing here.
There rules.so...

Sub is so powerful, I bn wondering lately why im taking so much and just how much louger.
But, it works. Idk..dropping my dose tnis week. I seem to feel more awake in the mornings..
Hang in there, and maybe speed up that benzo taper bro...


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 11, 2014 1:21 pm 
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Thank you for sharing you story. Good luck on your journey to a new life. Suboxone can be a life saver. Please keep us posted. I will be looking forward to hearing how everything goes.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 12, 2014 12:15 pm 
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I have been reading the board a lot more the last few days. Something that is bothering me is when I read other people's stories who are getting off of suboxone or reflecting back on the experience. I knew going in that it would be tough to get off of, but the more I read, the more afraid I become of not being able to shake the subs. See the thing is with me, I'm depressed, and that is a big part of what led to my painkiller abuse. A big reason, as I've explained in and earlier post, that I was interested in suboxone was a result of reading about others whom subs helped with depression. So if I head into this huge shit storm of depression that won't quit after the subs, then what is the use of ever starting the subs?

So at this point I'm second guessing my decision. This is basically the end of 5 weeks taking subs. I'm on 16 mgs a day. Is it too late to get off them without the bad withdrawals? Or am I pretty well already wet and might as well jump in?

It's not necessarily the withdrawals that I'm afraid of. I can handle being sick and feeling like crap. What scares me are those stories about folks who get off them and can't shake the changes in their mood. They are down and cannot get back up.

I do also realize that I'm still an addict. I have not used since being on subs, so it is working in the department of keeping me away from that dead end life. I'm not lying, stealing, telling lies to get dope. So I don't know. If I got off subs now, would I have enough tools assure that I wouldn't repeat the process? I do know that I never ever want to do this again, and I often fantasize about those moments, those days when it was very clear that shouldn't have been using. I replay those moments and think about how easy it would have been so easy to step off the train then. But I didn't. I kept on messing with fire and look what happened.

Anyways, my lunch is about over. I thought I'd drop by and share a few thoughts. Thanks to every one of you who have shared your kind words and taken the time to help me.

One thing that I'm starting to see about the real me, the person who I've become while under the shroud of addiction, is that person has become an inconsiderate asshole. I've made a lot of enemies during the time I started using until now. I've hurt a lot of people. I mean I haven't Ray Rice'd anyone, but you know, I've hurt people's feelings and let a lot of people down. I'm not going to beat myself completely down over it, but it is something that has become clear to me lately.

Sorry for the rambling thoughts.

John


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 8:44 pm 
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Sub,
Please go over to Dr Junius Talk one and read two posts.
Addiction Story" and Clean Enough "
I've just reread these after 3 years..
They go hand to hand. Addict first, Dr j second. I'm depressed too.
Worse today than ever. And no, I don't blame subconscious.. I haven't read your intire
Post from Friday, just the first few lines.. Read those post Sub, hopefully you will get
a lot out of them as I just have... Razor.....


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 15, 2014 4:59 pm 
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Thanks for writing me when I know you didn't feel up to it, Razor. U will read the post you told me about. Depression is a horrible thing to live with...I know. I face it every day. It us taking everything I got to make it to the end of the school day. Just remember that I know what you are going through and I'm pulling for you.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 03, 2014 9:36 pm 
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Since I've been feeling tired, to put it lightly, since I've stated taking subs, I went to my PCP on Wednesday and got a lot of blood work done. I requested to get my testosterone checked. My wife had been telling me for quite some time that I needed to get it checked, even before starting subs (I have a long history of depression). The results showed that my T was very low. In fact it is one of the lowest numbers I've heard of or seen. My number was 40.1. Normal range being 250-1100. The more I read about low testosterone, the more I think that it could have possibly caused, or played a part, in my depression, low energy, inability to concentrate, etc... It is also well documented that long term use of opiates can cause low testosterone. I'm waiting for my insurance to authorize payment for testosterone replacement therapy. Anyone have any experience with this?


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:24 pm 
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Subline,
I been reading your post and wanted to see how you are doing? I too am fairly new to taking them and also struggle with depression also.

The low testost could very well be a problem too that can cause depression, I worked in the nursing field for a while and have heard docors say that.

Anway, would love an update on how your doing :D


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