hello, i want to first say that i am extremly thankful for finding this site, u all have answered several of my questions about Suboxone. I go for my induction appt. on mon. at 1:45. This is going to be my very 1st time trying Suboxone, and i am honestly nervous. I have been an addict for 5 yrs now, i started out with tabs/perc, then within a yr, i moved on to herion/oxys(IV). I went to an inpatient rehab for a 28 day program about 2 yrs ago, got out, and made it for about 2 wks before i relapsed. My "habit" got even worse then (i didnt even think that was possible). But anyways, i went from IV'ng 2-5 OC 80's a day, to 2-6+ Morphine 100's. I tried to stop several times, but i just couldnt. Well, i then relocated about 600 miles from home with my husbands job about a yr ago, which has helped me alot, because i now dont have the "conveinence" of knowing where to get my "stuff". I am now at the point that i have managed to get myself off the needle, i havent IV'ed anything in 6mths. I have been maintaining on 10-15 lortab 7-5's a day. Which brings me to the present, and i am just so sick of it all. Sick of being sick i guess. Ok, my problem now is waiting for my induction appt. on monday. Due to the fact that my supplier here (the only hook-up i had)has recently moved, i am know on day 9 of WD on my own, without anything, and i am completly miserable. And even though i know that i just have to make it a few more days till Monday, i also am dealing with the issue of having to go back home this weekend for family reasons, which is where i know i can easily obtain anything i want. The nurse at the Sub dr said for me not to take anything past Sat. morning, so what im thinking is that i will be able to get something to make me feel better by Friday afternoon, but on the other hand, i'm thinking that hey, i've come this far... I do know 1 thing for sure, and its that i feel like complete CRAP right now..

congrats on setting up the appointment and getting the courage to take a step in the right direction (in terms of long term recovery). i know how hard it is to stay sober when you have been using for years at such a high dose, the post detox withdrawals are awful and its hard to make it more htebn a couple weeks without relasping, i know i made it two weeks and then finally gave in. in terms of using and your induction; if i were you i would make sure that you just dont use within the required time frame (as stated by the nurse you spoke with) and if for some reason you do use something i would make sure it isnt morphine or methadone cause those seem to stay in your system longer then loritabs or oxys or anything like that. the truth is that if you go home and cant resist becuase you feel like crap and you do go and get something to help you i would just make sure you take the minimum amount to feel ok so that you dont feel like crap. thats just my opinion adn it would be great if you could make it without taking anything till your induction but when it comes down to it we both know that it is going to be really hard to be in withdrawals and know that you can get something to make you feel better. i hope that you can make but if you cant i would just take the smallest amount possible so that you can feel ok.

good luck and im sure some others will come along with better advice

Hi jennyrae and welcome to the forum! Congratulations on making the change to start suboxone and stop the mad cycle of active addiction. It's pretty normal to be nervous about your induction. You're making a huge change in your life and even though it's a very positive change, it's still change.

If you can make it without taking anything, that's what I would suggest. Although I know that's easier said than done. I'd just hate for you to get something and get caught up and use beyond that Saturday deadline. You know how things get out of control very quickly. Focus on Monday and remind yourself that what you're going through is temporary.

Good luck on your induction. Oh and if you need to keep posting to get through now until Monday, POST AWAY! That's what we're here for.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

Thanks for the replies u guys, i really appreciate it. I finally got alittle sleep last nite, i was put on Seroquel 2 yrs ago when i was in rehab, to help me with sleep. i only took it it for a mth or so until i relapsed. I started taking it again about 6 mths ago when i went off the needle, and it was a god sent as far as sleeping goes(i could sleep through the night sweats, RLS, etc). But i ran out of it 2 wks ago and hadnt made it to the Dr to get a refill until the evening before last. These WD's are sooo HORRIBLE. I have been going through days of the usual, diahrea, vomiting, headaches, legs cramps from hell (which i have noticed have been really bad the past few days)... Well, i finally broke down and went to my dr 2 days ago, cause i have dry heived so much my throat is raw and i have been spitting up blood. I honestly had high hopes of him giving me some kind of cough syrup with codiene, but nope, just antibiotics and my refill script for seroquel. I have not told him that im an addict, just because i know how we get treated by people in the health care field and it sucks. I worked as a Phlebotimist for almost 4 yrs at a local hospital back home that has a drug/alcohol rehab unit, and it truely makes my heart hurt just remembering how they treated addicts.
We will be leaving here about 4 am in the morning, and i will be back in my hometown by 2pm tommorow. My husband, who has never abused any drug whatsoever( he barely will take tylenol) knows how hard this is for me and said that he wont let me get anything, however, we have been married for 11 yrs, i've been an addict for the past 5... he and i both know for a fact that he may get pissed at me, but he wont stop me from getting something if i truely want to. This is so hard for him to, just seeing the crap that i have put my body through. After reading all u guys post on here, and what u all have been through, it seems that Monday cant get here fast enough. I want my life back so bad. I dont even know if i remember what its like to be "normal".

It sure sounds like your husband is extremely supportive. That's terrific - not everyone gets that kind of support. I think you'll be pleased with how you feel once you get stabilized on your sub dose. Most people do describe a feeling of normalcy. For me, once I went on sub, it was like a newer, improved me. I hope it works out for you that way, as well. Hang in there! You can do it.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

Wow! What you are describing is bringing back some bad memories. I just wanted to tell you that all this chaos, the WD's, will subside. Especially once you start sub. I know it seems like a horrible black cloud is surrounding you and there is no way out but you will feel "normal" again soon. I'm cheering for you. Good luck and keep us posted.

Hey, i just wanted to update everybody. I made it back to my hometown on Friday and got myself "well". I didnt take anything past my Sat. morning deadline. Headed back Sunday, just to run in2 a huge snowstorm. The Dr was unable to get to the office Mon. because of all the snow, so my induction has been post-poned till today,Tue. at 1:45. I will post an update tonite, and let u all know how it goes.

Thank you so much for the update. You are obviously quite determined to do this, as you made it without taking anything past your deadline. You should be extremely proud of yourself - I am. I wish you good luck at your induction today. I'm confident it will go smoothly. I look forward to your next update.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

Hey, i just got home from my induction appointment. It has been about a hour since my first 8mg dose of Suboxone (film), and i feel great. Not high, but "normal" i guess. Im not sick, i have energy, my nose aint running anymore, my legs arent hurting, and i am no longer sick at my stomach. This is the 1st day of the rest of my life, and for the 1st time, I am optimistic about my recovery. YAY ME!!!!!

YAY for YOU is right!!

Congratulations on your successful induction and you are absolutely right, this is the first day of the rest of your life.

I am so glad the induction went smoothly and that you're feeling well. Keep up the good work. Oh and give yourself a pat on the back - you deserve it. How do you like your doctor?

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

Hatmaker510- Thank u so much for responding to my post. My dr is AWESOME. He's not one of those drs that r just in it for the money, even though he knew that he is not in-network on my insurance, he still saw me, and just charged me the the $25 co-pay listed on the front of my card. He spent like 45 min. with me, talking about my drug abuse history and my recovery. He acted as if he is truely concerned about my health, and didnt treat me like "just another drug addict." And his nurse is just as great. Like i said before, the office was closed yesterday because of the huge snow storm, which was supposed to be when i had my 1st appointment, and they arent open on Tue., so since he was closed yesterday, he came in today to make up the missed appointments, and the nurse was able to fit me in today. After i thanked her like a zillion times, she told me that if i wouldnt have made it in today, she wouldnt have been able to reschedule me till March 31st. Can u just imagine? That would have been hell..lol. He explained my to me my dosage instructions, and how he wanted me to attend NA. Then send me the the pharmacy to fill my script and come back to the office so they could show me how to take my 1st dose. I have to go see him again on Monday. I sure u know exactly how i am feeling right now, with in 30 min, all my pain and nausa had went away, and my nose even quit running. I even had energy to do much needed housework when i got home. I called my mother when i got home to tell her how good everything went, and she actually cried. She is so happy for me. We have always been close, up until my addiction started, and even though i know she loves me, we have drifted apart the past few years. She is at a lose for words at the thought of finally getting her daughter back.

Oh, I am so happy for you. I'm glad you have a great doctor - and he takes your insurance! That's a rarity, believe me. For some reason a lot of sub doctors are cash only. Probably just because they can. I think it's great that you're close enough to your mom to tell her about this change. I'm that way with my mom too. I remember the same feeling - being able to tell her I was going to be okay. Isn't it terrific to have your life back?? Good on you! Oh and if you go to NA, you might want to feel them out first before mentioning the suboxone. Some meetings don't accept people on sub as being "clean", so the people who do go simply don't share that information with them. It is your private medical history after all. Please do keep us posted on how you're doing. Be well.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

hey hatmaker510, it is so awesome to be able to talk to some one who knows exactly what im goin through.. and honestly, tears came to my eyes when i read the part of ur last post about how it felt to call ur mom and tell her that u where going to okay.

i have one question for u if u dont mind, its like 12:15 am, and i cant seen to be able to fall asleep. I have been taking Seroquel for sleep for the past couple of years, and my Sub doc said that it was ok for me to continue taking it. Usually, when i take it at bedtime, it takes about 30 min to "kick in" and im out for the night. Well, I took it tonite as usual, and it is now 3 hrs later and im still awake. Is this normal? I mean, i'm tired, dont get me wrong... but it seems like i have this energy thats just pouring out

Were you able to get to sleep last night? I think it could be a couple of things. One - maybe you were just so excited about you "new" life that you were to wired to sleep. Those things happen some times to all of us. The other possibility that occurred to me is related to the suboxone. What time did you take your last dose? Some people do report some energy from it (while others it actually makes sleepy). If it continues to be a problem and you're dosing in the evening, you could try taking it earlier in the day.

You know, I'm glad you mentioned your mom. For some reason, I never really thought about how lucky I am that she's so supportive. I guess I fell into the trap of taking her for granted. Believe me, I won't do that again! So thank you for that. Lots of people don't understand sub, but she's been so great. No judgment, just support and love. In the beginning of my treatment, she told me umpteen times how much I changed and how happy she was to have my "old" self back again. It felt so good to have her tell me that. I attribute that to suboxone; without it I may have dead instead. Anyway, I feel very lucky to have her love and support. She was a pretty crappy mom when I was growing up, but now that I'm older (45) she's really been there for me. Thanks, jennyrae, for bringing up our moms and reminding me of her and her support. I think when I talk to her today I'll thank you again.

I hope you got some sleep last night.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

hey hatmaker, i just read ur post to me.. I was so excited when i saw that u had written me back. Thanks for the info about sleep, and yes i did finally sleep about 30 min after i posted, and i slept soundly all night. I had a headache when i woke up about 6:30am, took my 8mg dose and my headache was gone and i felt great about 20 min. later. It was just so amazing to be able to get up and fix my family breakfast before they started their day, which they were quite thrilled about theirselves..lol. And i think i've decided to split my 2nd dose and take 4mg at 11am and the other 4mg at about 4-5pm, then take my seroquel tonite like normal. Hopefully that works out better for me. The nurse told me i could mess around alittle bit with when i take my doses to see what works good for me, as long as i dont take anymore that 16mg a day. She said some of the patients take 16mg at once in the mornings, and others split it up and take 4mg 4 times a day. She told me that when i do figure out what works best, to make sure that i make it a habit of taking it at the same time everyday.

And u r very welcome for reminding u about ur mom. Mine has always been very over- protective, and when she found out about what i had been taking, and what i had been doing, she kinda backed away from me when she realized that i was going to do what i wanted to and she couldnt stop me. There were several times that i just wouldnt answer her phone calls, or we would get into very heated arguments and i would end up yelling at her, calling her names, and finally hanging up on her because "I knew what i was Doing, I had it all under control", i didnt need her telling what to do. Yeah right!! I have since then told her how sorry i am and that if i could take it all back i would. Hopefully now we can rebuild our relationship and her trust that i lost. When i got to go visit with her this past weekend and told her about starting on sub and what it was, she gave me a hug and told me she was proud of me. I told her that even though im getting ready to turn 29 and it shouldnt matter to me what she thinks.... It does, and it means a great deal to me also to have her approval yet once again.

Thanks again for listening

Hey everybody, i just wanted to update u guys on how well im doing. This is Day 8 of Suboxone treatment for me, and i still feel GREAT. I had my 2nd appt. with my sub doc yesterday. It went well, he left me on the two 8mg doses a day. He also told me not to take how good i feel for granted and think that i dont need suboxone anymore. He said he has seen it done several times, that people get will get on the Suboxone for about a week, start to feel "normal" again, go off Sub., and relapse. I assured him that is not my plan. It just doesnt make any since to me as to why anyone would do that, why anyone that had a chance to break free from active addiction would want to go back to that life, especially after they find a way to get better.
Well, anyways, I am still doing good. I joined a gym, volunteered at my kids school one day last week( i have been promising to all yr, and just never did), my relationship with my husband has never been better(he is so proud of me, he even got papers from work to start his 401K again.. He has been reluctant up until now, cause i drained it a couple years ago to pay for my habit).... My kids r great, i let them have a sleepover this past weekend, and everybody had a blast... Im just "happy", and when mommy's happy, everybodys happy...lol
I have had a couple side effects, really bad Dry Mouth, and Constipation. But i guess those r pretty common from what i've read on here. So, Thanks for listening/reading my story everybody, and i will keep u all updated. I have been visiting this site at least once a day, and i will continue doing so, cause its full of extremly helpful information, and i also like hearing about how everybody's life is going.

Thanks for the update! I'm so glad you're still doing well. Your doctor makes an excellent point. Too many people get, well, almost overconfident on suboxone, go off it, relapse and some even die. We need time to relearn how to live our lives without all those behaviors and habits we formed as active addicts.

Are you still sleeping well? With the constipation, try to get ahead of it. Add some fiber to your diet. I've found eating a good (healthy) cereal at night helps move things along in the morning. Kind of a preemptive strike, so to speak. I've never had the dry mouth problem, but then I smoke and am always drinking something so perhaps I don't notice it.

Please keep the updates coming and feel free to jump in on other discussions. I wish you continued success!

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.