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 Post subject: I am celebrating!!!!
PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2013 12:05 pm 
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:D Today is 2 wks and yes I am celebrating I am feeling more normal everyday other then just being tired I have been sleeping (knock on wood) a little trouble last night but i expect that.

Anyone who may read this: You can do this u can kick this drug.....there is a lot of great info on here esp the taper sections.....I did my own taper and it seem to work i was on the smallest dose u can cut a strip into and when i took my last dose i was petrified ya i didnt feel good BUT this is nothing compared to Methadone/Pill w/drawl!!! So it is very doable I know its scary but if u taper rite ull probably b ok everyone is diff. but i truly beleive the taper is the key and lots of vitamins and excerise!!!!!!!

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2013 12:21 pm 
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That's great news Jeaner!! I agree with the taper thing, if you can do it, it's worth it.

For the last couple years of my husband's maintenance he was only on 2mgs and then down to one. Then in the last year he was cutting his dose so small you could barely hold the darn thing. I'd say he was taking .2 mgs in the end and he literally just walked off suboxone for the most part. He had some nights where he tossed and turned a bit and lacked a little energy but that was it. He never needed to take a hot shower, he never got any PAWS stuff. Unfortunately I didn't have the self discipline or patients to get that low.

So happy to hear your update!!


Last edited by tinydancer on Wed Feb 06, 2013 12:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2013 12:24 pm 
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Jean, congratulations. I'm coming up on 6 months off of subs and just passed 6 months off of percs/vikes.

The most important thing is to not sit around waiting for pain to come or anxiety to happen. Go out and make the most of your life, as you will feel it all in a completely different way. I found that the more active I was, the more I was healing myself from within. It's pretty hard to comprehend that we are addicts, but even that goes away after a while, and you see yourself differently, but accept that you are overcoming the hardest thing to overcome.

You're past the worst part now, at least physically. Now, it's all about the mental game. There may be some moments of regret, some moments of wondering if you are doing the right thing. Know that you are, and all it is is your brain healing itself, and that takes some time. And keep counting your days and your time, like you are doing. That really helped me along, as I didn't want to fuck up how long I had gone without opes or subs. This forum also got me through. Write it all down, the whole experience for a little while. It's extremely therapeutic.

I think I still have a bunch of things on here detailing my first few months. Over time, they get more and more upbeat and positive. I know I'll never go back. And I also know how hard it is for people to overcome. But it can be done, and you just take it day by day and before you know it, normalcy becomes normal. And you appreciate life again.

Good luck. PM me if you need any help coming along.

CHARLIE

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2013 12:38 pm 
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2 weeks for Jeaner, you get a big ol' Hell Yeah!!!

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 Post subject: JeanerStrong
PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 6:10 pm 
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Today is 17 daysssss & I am pretty happy about it.....Like i said b4 i am a server so I have alot of regular customers that are like family to me and they knew what i was going thru and i live here in indy so any football fans out there know about our Coach Chuck Pagano having cancer and overcoming it during the football season and the city of indy came up with CHUCKSTRONG/COLTSTRONG.....my friends and my regs. @ work made up JEANSTRONG for me.....to keep me motivated....& it really helped to know people are pulling for me!!!!!

Also thanks to everyone on this board with there advice and guidance!!!! U r so apperciated!!!!!!

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Sometimes the place I go is so deep & dark & desperate I just dont no how everyday u save my life....RF


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 Post subject: Nice!
PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2013 10:20 pm 
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I missed this topic I guess. Wow, it's very inspiring, Thank you Jeaner! I hope you will continue to check in as you progress with your journey getting off of sub. You are helping a lot of people with this.

You did it great, did a nice low taper and went to get comfort meds like clonidine. That's a great way to do it. More power to the high jumpers who made it thru but I could never do that. To me, thinking about tapering is harder than actually tapering. It just takes a long time.

Anyway, I hope those looking for info on getting off sub find this as opposed to the horror stories here and elsewhere!

Best,
Glen B


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 1:47 am 
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Hi Jeaner,

WOW, well done,.

Its the darndest thing, seeing another member, only a few weeks behind, your own battle.

Well done on the tapering, firstly, and well done getting to this point.
Its all down hill from day 11 in my own story, so I can only assume, this 4 you.

I can really feel your story, through your words, especially the dreaded RLS.
I can only tell you, that it goes away, and will be gone, pretty soon. it should settle down, without bothering you around the 2 month mark, but, everyone is different.

Its funny how you wonder, who am I going to be, when i stopped. I also was quite curious about that after 5 years on bupe.

Turns out, your pretty much who you are, on the subs, as well as off.
I think subs are more a physical thing, than a personality thing.

The overwhelming group wisdom is, when you are feeling crap, during that day, is to walk, whenever you can.
This can be the single method, to cure, all daytime, malaise, and mood.

Other than that, your killing this, and well done for getting over the worst 1-11 day stuff.


If your wondering when the insomnia might end, it could be up to 2 months, for adequate sleep, and then up to 6 months, for full reversal of damage.

This seems to be pretty consistent with what i am going through, and what others have shared.

Of course, this is based on not using xanax or any sleeping aids.

Its one of the most surreal things to go through the 1-11 days of Acute WD after your 3 year sub habit.

Its definately not as bad as we expect, you can eat, etc, it just goes for a long time.

You are on the way home now, just hold on, stick around, and we can all help each other get through this.

Luv

Hopespring


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 4:31 pm 
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Thank u Glen Bee & Hope......Today is my 3wk mark and I am doing good!!!

My sleep is starting to return i still been using tylenol pm's and melatonin but the rls has seem to subsided i hate to type that i feel like ill jinx myself!!!!

I have pretty much returned to my life i work come home work some more and then I am so tired I just go to sleep.....hey Romeo I found my comfort food SLICED TURKEY I cant get enough of it & I like to eat it b4 bed WEIRD!!! LOL

I have also found that I am still the same person ive always been I am a little meaner at work but basically I am still Jean I was so afraid that the drugs had changed me???

I still feel that nagging need to take the subs esp when i get up and when i get home from work but i am hoping that passes too.

Thanks to everyone for reading this and keepin up on my progress & saying encouraging words they mean a lot from people who know what its like!!!!!! Much Love to everyone!!!!! :D

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 7:05 pm 
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Hi Jeaner,

You and I are relatively on the same schedule. Today is my 2 week mark off Sub. How often do you feel depression? I get strong bouts of it about 5 times a day. Other times I feel very optimistic and happy. Everyone says to exercise and energy will come. That makes me want to drop on my bed after. I don't know HOW you can be a server and go to work quite yet. I'm soooooo much better now than how I felt days 5 and 6. What I want to know is... How do you carry the trays, take orders and smile to your customers before dropping to your knees? I am doing quite well... but I must say... I have NO energy!!! I believe you are 2 days ahead of me. I too tapered the same as you... tiny little pieces.

Suggestions?

I'm wondering if men bounce back a little faster??? I don't know. Your thoughts?


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 10:58 pm 
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JEANSTRONG......wearing out the sliced turkey, I LOVE it!!!

My "bedtime" food ended up being a few frozen Reese's Cups and some Ruffle potato chips.....funny thing is, after 2.5 years, I'm STILL doing the bedtime food!!! I can't stop it, it's just too yummy!!!

Hey 2BaHealthy1, having almost zero energy when you first get off Suboxone is pretty normal. For now, just try and do what you can and try to accomplish a little more every day. I don't think men necessarily bounce back faster, I think wd from opiates is a pretty personal experience. Everyone seems to advance at their own pace....regardless of being a man or a woman. I will say this, though....it seems like us men whine more about it all!!!! :D

Oh, and welcome to the forum!!!

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 4:01 pm 
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You're amazingly well! Love reading these threads as know they're so helpful to others coming off off it! Keep up the good work!


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 7:23 pm 
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Romeo I knew ud like that so ya turkey and choc. pudding....lol Hey buts it working eating is the key if i dont eat no energy and i just feel like crap!!!!

2B: I didnt work for the 1st wk i couldnt there was no way but i was really scared about going back but i just told myself u can do this people are looking for u to do this so get ur ass outta bed & go so thats what i did that 1st wk back OMG i was so tired but just becuz i was tired u would think i wouldve slept ummm no but thats subsiding thank god.....All I kept reading on here is exercise so i tryed it and u know what i swear it helps and me being a server and running like a crazy person all day long is helping me also i try to wear alot of clothes so i get a good sweat on cuz if u can sweat that poison out that helps to! I am going to b honest ive been really lucky on the depression part but i have a great b/f with great support and if im not feeling good he just says go relax no worry allowed so that does help I hope u have some support also Please listen to Romeo and all the people who will respond to u they are amazing people with amazing storys and even better advice......this forum helped me ALOT esp knowing ur not going thru it alone

Get urself some vitamins like a multi and b12 sibligual that helps to......just remember u can do this if u feel like i have no energy get out of that mind frame take a more positive spin for instance for me i work as a server from like 530am till about 2pm i come home clean my house up from the night b4 go to the store do some laundry and then cook dinner do the dishes i did all these things on subs with no problem now that i dont have my meds i still do all these things i push thru knowing if i dont do them they wont get done my kids or my b/f wont eat or have clean clothes to wear ya i am weird i worry about those things but my point being is try to get back to ur normal routine w/out ur meds and ull see everyday is a little easier u wont feel on top of the world......Right now I do not I am tired I still have laundry to fold and i gotta get up at 430a.m for work BUT thats ok becuz im gonna make it and b ok thats what u have to tell urself ur gonna be fine....ok so sorry for the rambling......Ive not been on in a few days it shows!!!!!

:!: JEANSTRONG :!:

Romeo we all whine about it cuz it sucks when ur going thru it!!!!!!

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Sometimes the place I go is so deep & dark & desperate I just dont no how everyday u save my life....RF


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 Post subject: YAY
PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 9:32 am 
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Wow so today is day 32 for me off the subs no opiates!!!!!!

I am feeling pretty decent still been working i am usually fine in the a.m then when i am done with work i am so tired i can barely do anything but my b/f is so good he just say go to bed forget the house and dinner just sleep when u can so thats what ive been doing

I had a little scare wed. night we went to my moms for dinner and my parents do not have any idea that i am a addict, but anyways i had such a bad headache when we got there i decided to go take sum advil and i open the med cabinet and there sit 2 full bottles of viks i was like OMG close the med cabinet and walked away but weird thing was i knew they were in there so i felt like i was major w/drawling and i felt like the pills were calling my name hey Jean we know u feel like shit so just come take just 1 and ull feel sooooo much better i actually had a small panick attack and we stayed about another hr and I told my b/f we gotta go he didnt ask why we just left I just had to get the hell outta there.....it was like everything my mom was saying to me was pissing me off and it shouldnt have been my mind kept going back to the med cabinet.....That really scared me so needless to say if mom wants to visit she's gonna have to come to my house where this house is opiate free!!!!!

Hope everyone is doing good i am off to work have a great sunday!!!!!!!!!

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Sometimes the place I go is so deep & dark & desperate I just dont no how everyday u save my life....RF


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 Post subject: So Strong
PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2013 4:06 pm 
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It is so unbelievably fantastic that 1) You've been completely clean for 32 days!! and 2) that you could see a bottle of hydro and walk away!

I am not sure that I could have done what you did Jeaner. What an accomplishment! To have that kind of temptation so close to your hand and not steal any is a testament that you will succeed in following through with your recovery.

There will be plenty more temptations to come. Hopefully none as bad as this one. But it sure does sound like you have great resolve to kick this monsters a##.

Congratulations Jeaner. Please keep this thread going and going so all the members can see your success and that it can be done.

Rule

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 12:38 pm 
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Hey Jeaner,

Rule62 said exactly what I was going to say to you. He hit the nail on the head!!

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:06 pm 
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Thanks Romeo & Rule!!! It was def a test and yes I passed it.....I could hear my addict side going no one will know oh really I WILL KNOW and I didnt go this long to go back to my old ways.....I am a way better person clean!!!

I will def keep u guys updated on how it is going!!! I am sure that wont b the only temptation I have but I sure hope it gets a little easier but if it doesnt oh well i know i can walk away!!!!

I really apperciate everyones support and advice its really gotten me thru!!!!!

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Sometimes the place I go is so deep & dark & desperate I just dont no how everyday u save my life....RF


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 Post subject: Hard to believe
PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 6:45 pm 
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Well I am bumping up my thread just to let everyone know today is 51 days for me coming up on 2 months & today I am feeling pretty good.
Unfortunatly the last few weeks i have not been feeling well been having bad anxiety and somedays still feel like i am w/drawling I can only contribute it to still getting this crap out of my body......I still have the nagging feeling that i need to take my subs every morning i wake up thinking do i take medicine this a.m um no dummy u dont take subs anymore seems like once thats outta my head i am able to proceed with my day!!!

Ive been reading new post on here from people who are scared to taper and scared to get off the suboxone....Try not to be so scared i no easy for me to say due to i was scared shitless till i did it and now its the best thing i couldve done I am sure my sub dr thought oh she will b calling begging to get back in wellll u know what not gonna happen i would never give up 51 days of sobriety I am fully prepared to ride this thing out as long as it takes!!!!!

Everyone reading if ur struggling please hang on it will b worth it it the end!!!!!

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Sometimes the place I go is so deep & dark & desperate I just dont no how everyday u save my life....RF


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 4:38 pm 
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I just saw this thread and wnated to say congrats and you rock!
I am on those scared people you mention :oops:
My biggest fear is the anxiety and RLS, and not having a support system(no one knows about my sub use...going on 6 years)

Please keep us updated...seeing positive success stories like yours is truly helping me gather the courage I will need.

ps my name is Jeanne (like in the bottle, but people always call me Jean :) )


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 Post subject: Thanks
PostPosted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 9:07 pm 
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Jeanne my real name is Jean which u probably got that if u read this thread......Listen i know its so dam scarey to think about NOT taking the subs everyday.....what will i do, how will i handle it?? Whats ur does on ur sub intake?? 6 years is a long time my suggestion is taper if u can it will make it so much easier to handle when u get off the subs how u taper will determine on ur w/drawl....yes everyone is different but the lower u can go b4 u stop it will b easier.

I dont think anything can prevent the RLS or anxiety the best remedy for the RLS was hot hot baths (in the early w/drawl sometimes during the night id take like 3 hot baths just to get 2hrs of sleep) but after the baths i wouldnt do anything but go straight to bed no cigs no pop nothing and my family knew once i was out of the tub dont talk to me dont come in my room till i am asleep.

Please remember u do have support esp here there are a lot of caring people who have been where u are and are where u are at now

Can I ask u a question??? Are u ready to b free of the subs & just scared or do u think for ur well being u need to stay on them I am just curious because after 3 years for me i just felt like id had enough i felt like my dr didnt want me to leave due to i never missed I always had my money soooo i just stopped going....I started to feel like i did when i chased pills, the diff was i didnt have to look for it but i had to go every 2 wks stress if i would have my $$ and the drive was kinda long I just wanted to be free of it all & honestly it has been very freeing!!!!!

Remember I was 1 of those scared people to i got super scared when i had 1 sub film left and when that was gone i was scared shitless but i was ready to take on what was ever in front of me!!!!!

Best of luck to u thanks for the kind words......I think every single person on this forum who are still on subs can get off and be successful w it just takes will power and mind over matter!!!!!!!!!

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Sometimes the place I go is so deep & dark & desperate I just dont no how everyday u save my life....RF


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 12:30 am 
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Hey Jeanne (in a bottle...LOL) and Jean (you Turkey Slice eater!!),

Jeanne, I think just about everyone is scared shitless with the prospect of quitting Suboxone. Anyone who's ever been through wd's before knows the hell it is and does NOT want to go there again. But at some point, those of us who quit, our fear of quitting was beaten by our desire to get off Suboxone and off we went. I believe when you're ready, you'll do it.

Jean, congratulations on almost 2 months!!! Woo-Hoo!!! I wanted to let you know that the anxiety and not feeling "right" and feeling like you're still wd'ing are completely normal, even 2 months out. Acute wd often transitions into PAWS (Post Acute Wd) and PAWS is basically a light version of Acute wd. As time goes by, PAWS will diminish. Staying healthy mentally, spiritually and physically will help with PAWS, IMO.

Oh Yeah, about feeling like you have to take Sub's every morning, I did the same thing for a good while. I used to keep my Suboxone bottle on our kitchen island and for MONTHS after getting off Suboxone, I'd wander by the kitchen island, stop and wonder why I was at the kitchen island? I was stopping there because somewhere in the back of my mind, I was supposed to be taking my Suboxone. It's a werid feeling, eh? lol

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