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PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 2:46 pm 
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Hi all. I am very relieved to find this forum and see proof that I am not alone. A little background on me. I am 29 F and completely alone in my struggle. I am that girl that has it all together and if I old anyone my struggles with opiates they probably wouldn't believe me. I have been addicted to vicodin and tramadol for about a year and a half and I became dependent when I had extensive cosmetic dentistry. When I stopped taking my meds after a few months, I couldn't figure out why I couldn't function until I took more and felt better. From that moment until I went on suboxone 3 months ago I continued because of the fear of withdrawal. However I realized after a long time on the medication that I was losing myself. I looked up a sub dr and made the transition. I have mixed feelings about suboxone. It did get me away from my desperate and depressing addiction but I still didn't feel like myself and want to be completely free of any medications to feel "normal". When I started subs it took 2 1/2 strips a day to curb withdrawals. Over the past 3 weeks I weaned down to 1/2 strip a day and jumped 4 days ago. Honestly I don't feel bad at all like when I would run out of vics or trams. I am taking a lot of lopermide, fish oil, b vitamins and advil pm for sleep. I suppose I am wondering if the worst is yet to come? I am sleeping well and functioning enough to get through the day. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel like doing much however this isnt the nightmare i was anticipating. When withdrawaling from the other opiates I couldn't do a thing but lay in bed and cry. Maybe being on suboxone for only 3 months helped, or maybe I am speaking to soon. Any advise would be appreciated :) and just knowing I am not alone helps.

- J


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 3:36 pm 
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hey blondie,

you are definatley in the right spot for some support. i stopped taking my suboxone 11 days ago and i was on it for 3 months as well. for me things started getting better like yesterday but what i have found is it is pretty different for all of us.. keep a daily log on this thread for support, there is some great people that will have great suggestions and motivational things to say when you need it most... even outside of this fourom you are not alone as you may even find meetings helpful and finding people that have been through this and the ones i have met were all very willing to help me out, as i am sure there has to be some in your area as well. just a thought..

also what mg was you on when you jumped off, i was on 1 mg... i know you said 1/2 but is that 1/2 a 8 mg strip 1/2 a 2 mg or 1/2 a milligram? jw

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 4:05 pm 
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Thanks so much for your reply. I was taking a 1/2 8mg strip when i jumped so 4mg.

When you say just now feeling better have you not been able to function normally or just not feeling to great?


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:59 pm 
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i guess mean function normally like i can walk and sit without sitting around thinking how miserable I am lol.. i went through it pretty good, i had a rough first week. it wasnt that easy, as the worst part for me was wanting to seek relief from a narcotic substance but posting and talking with my sober support network about it really helped me get those terriable ideas out of my head. so i guess i mean normal like my using thoughts arent as bad again like they were a few days before i got off the meds. the physcal symptoms are different for everyone but for me they were all pretty manageable, and not so bad to deal with, and also a bad case of insomnia but i guess i accepted that it is part of it. acceptance has been big for me to make it through it as well as prayer, and a little help from colonodine (blood pressure medication) that actually helps the RLS... ill be here to talk when u need it and so will a bunch of either people. remember everyday you post gives us all hope and helps yourself more importantly. so keep us updated

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my first day a guy asked me how i was doing, i said terriable bro, he said hang in there. I said well how do I do that, he said just let go....


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 11:21 pm 
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Hey blondie! I used opiates for about 2 years then suboxone for another two years. When i came off suboxone i jumped at 4 mg which is not a good idea but i felt just as you felt. Notttt like myself. I hope you dont have any withdrawal! Thatd be a huge win for you. In my case my withdrawals started at day 5 because of the long half life of suboxone and and lasted til about day 10-12. Iffff withdrawals do come along id suggest lots of hot showers and maybe clonidine if its possible. Those two things helped me immensely. Im on day 106 clean and it does get better im finally beginning to feel like myself again. It takes a lot of willpower and working recovery to get clean so im proud of you for making this step and you wont regret it! If youre going through hell, keep going. Best wishes and stay strong!


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 08, 2013 9:38 am 
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Hey Blondie!

How are you doing today? It sounds like you are doing really great so far. If you made it til day 4-5 without feeling too awful I bet you are going to be one of the lucky ones. It sure sounds as if being on the subs short term is going to work in your favor. Big props to you for being ready to live a sober life. That's huge! If you keep a positive attitude and try not to dwell on those icky feelings when they strike you will do great!

Let us know if you need any support.

Q


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 09, 2013 3:48 am 
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To the last two that posted a reply, thanks so much for the support and sharing your experience. Today is Day 6 and I am still feeling ok :) the biggest shock for me so far is how well I am sleeping. Going more than 24 hours without trams or vics before was a nightmare, worst part I remember was not being able to sleep at all. Nothing is worse than feeling like absolute hell and getting no sleep on top of it. Laying up all night thinking about how sick youve made yourself isnt fun at all. Right now I am noticing I feel more and more like my old self each day and that is so encouraging to deal with the seemingly small discomforts. I have low energy, some hot and cold flashes and a little dizziness and no appitiate but the one thing that is sticking out to me most today is pretty uncomfortable knee pain. Mostly when I go to sit or bend them. I am wondering if that's due to withdrawal or something unrelated? Is joint pain common in withdrawal?

Thanks for the support. Like I mentioned before there isn't
One person at all in my life I've shared this horrible part of me with. I've been suffering in silence for a few years now and to have an outlet is very comforting. When going through something like this its easy to feel so alone.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 4:35 pm 
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Day 10.

Not good.

Woke up feeling horrid. Didn't sleep well the last half of the night. The worst day yet.

Hot cold hot cold. Goosebumps. Sweats. Anxiety. Short temper. And NO energy or modivation. This needs to let up because I really have things to do!!! :(((((((((((((((


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 7:28 pm 
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Hang in there, you are really almost thru it. I seem to have alternating good days and bad days. I am on day 16 now, and yesterday was bad. Today was much better. I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight and feel better tomorrow. The motivation is tough, but I try to listen to the smart people on here and try to do something. Even if it is something small, just getting up and doing something is important.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:01 pm 
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Hey Blondie,

Most people who jump from a decently high dose, like you did, usually have their wd peak from day 7 to day 10. I'm going to guess your wd peaked yesterday and you should notice it letting up some soon.

I haven't read this entire thread, so forgive me if someone already suggested this, but Clonidine (a blood pressure medication, it's prescribed off label for opiate wd) has helped many of us who decide to kick Suboxone. It calms the Sympathetic Nervous System and usually helps ease wd symptoms a good bit. It's non-addictive, so no worries there. I used it for months and had no issues stopping it at all.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:28 pm 
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hey blondie,
hang tough chick... i know its a lot easier said then done, but you can get through this. Romeo knows what he is talking about with the colonodine thing.. that was a huge help for me and i plan on getting another script of it again tomorrow at my next appotiment because of how much it helped me that second week. i can also say that hot showers, baths, music and anything but sitting still helped me the most when i was having such rough days.. it has to get better, and as far as the sleep on my bad nights like one hour of sleep, i just accepted that this was part of coming off this stuff and that made it a little easier for me,,, you know instead of laying in bed fighting it, i just hopped up went to the living room turned on some music and walked around in circles, i know that doesnt sound like the greatest thing in the world but it helped me out a lot
rob

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my first day a guy asked me how i was doing, i said terriable bro, he said hang in there. I said well how do I do that, he said just let go....


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 12:21 am 
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Freedom, Romeo and rob.. Thanks so much for the support. I'm laying here and about to try and get some sleep. Just was thinking about how I spent 80% of today in bed. Didn't even put on any make up or change out of yoga pants. This is NOT like me at all. I cannot check the mail without full hair and makeup lol. Just can't believe how hard it hit so suddenly. I mean I didn't feel like doing anything at all today. Even still it's not as bad as non sub withdrawals, just by far the worst day yet and I am so scared tomorrow will be worse. I was laying here getting those depressing thought like"will I ever feel normal again??)

I'm praying for tomorrow to be better. But if it's not I do have a script for Xanax and ambien from my family dr. I know ambien will help me sleep tonight but is Xanax helpful in suboxone withdrawal? if so and I need it I'll take some tomorrow. When can I expect it to be all uphill? If it peaks day 7-10 should it start
To ease up for good soon? Desperate for some good news and thanks again for the support :)


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 11:05 am 
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Blondie,

Spending so much time in bed is about the worst thing you can do. I know your brain is probably screaming at you to sit still or lay down, but you should really try to keep your mind and body occupied. I know this will be easier said than done, but you really should try.

Also, I think we all wonder if we'll ever feel normal again and I promise that you will. It is going to take time, however.

The Xanax will more than likely help you sleep, but you have to be careful with them. Xanax is a benzodiazepine and wd from those bastards is even worse than opiate wd. Ambien may or may not help you sleep. Early in my wd, all it did for me was make me sleepy as hell, but no sleep. You can give them a try, but don't be surprised if they don't quite get you to sleep.

If your wd did peak yesterday then you can expect to feel somewhat better over the next few days, but you may also have some craptacular days too. Suboxone wd seems to have this rollercoaster effect.

Rob gave you some good advice with the hot showers and baths. Those will make you feel better. Listening to your favorite music will help too. Music was key to me getting through my wd. Anything to start getting your natural opiates pumping again will help you. Sex will help you feel better, exercise (even if it's light) will help. Watch funny movies, laughter helps get your natural opiates going.

Hang in there.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 12:44 pm 
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When I said "when will it all be uphill" I meant when will this all be downhill :p

So it's day 11 and I literally just woke up like an hour ago. (11am) The ambien did help me sleep but made it hard to wake up lol. It's ok I think
I needed the sleep. It's hard to tell only being awake for an hour but I think I feel a little better than yesterday. And Romeo thanks for the advice about the Xanax. I'll def only use it when feeling super anxious and I swear I will never take any medication more than two weeks ever again.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 3:04 am 
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Just to keep the updates coming.

Day 11 was just as bad as day 10. I Kept a little more busy but there's nothing
Like being out shopping and you start feelin so crappy you literally want to leave the basket and just walk out of the store. I didnt but felt like I wanted to. Also managed
To get some good house cleaning done, but this was after I took a little Xanax. It made me feel good enough to get some things
Done.

Praying for some sleep becaused I promised my sister I'd go to the beach with her tomorrow. Hoping it turns out to be a good experience.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 7:05 am 
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blondie, you should be getting to the end of the worst of it soon. I think that during the start of the third week off (around 14 or 15 days) I started to feel a little better.
That might seem like forever to you now, but I promise you can get thru another couple of days! I am about a week longer off of subs then you, and it's getting better. Sleep is still elusive at times, even though I am so tired. I'm with you about wanting to leave the basket at the store, I posted about that in another thread. I have zero attention span or follow thru right now. I have to literally force myself to shop and go about my daily business. But I'm on the mend, and that makes me feel so good!
Keep it up, you are almost there.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 10:29 am 
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Freedom said, "I have to literally force myself to shop and go about my daily business." That reminded me of something someone said to me during my wd, they said, "fake it until you make it." So, even though I felt like dog shit, I would force myself to participate in life and it does help.

I'm sure some of you are also wondering, "will I ever feel better" and I can assure you, you will feel better. It takes a little time for your brain to right itself, but it will remember how to do its job.....it just doesn't do it as fast as we want it to....stupid brains!! :lol:

You guys are all doing really well. Y'all are fighting though this horror show called opiate wd and you're making it!!

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 11:40 am 
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Hi Blondie, keep up the great work! Thank you for sharing your experience, because it is really helpful. Also, it is good to know that the Xanax helped. There's so many stories of how Xanax is great for withdrawals and also terrible, so it's good to hear how it helps you. I totally know what you mean about wanting to just leave the store immediately. You are so strong for lasting this long, and from what I read day 10 is like the hump period where pretty soon it will all be getting better, so just remember that your hard work is going to be paid off very, very shortly, and you will definitely be rewarded very soon. It is going to be so great to never have to worry about doing opiates again, and you will soon have more energy and happiness because youre brain won't be weighed down by all the depressants you've been taking. Take it easy, and have fun at the beach! I know I messed up last time I tried to quit when me and my sister were supposed to meet for dinner. And you know what? My sister was going through so much crap in her life, she probably barely made it to the restaurant too, and she doesn't drink or do drugs from what i know of. Just remember that everyone is in this fight in life forever together, and you aren't alone. Everyone fights hard to get through the day and be happy. The best thing is to do it together, so just look forward to taking it easy at the beach tomorrow and if you don't have a huge smile plastered on your face, it's OK! No one else is high 24/7 that isn't doing drugs, so just remember it's OK. If you feel a little slow, don't give up, just remember that every hour that you feel slow is more experience you are gaining of learning how to deal with these feelings from now on, and you will soon get used to it and your brain will learn how to get pumped up and motivated by itself and pretty soon you are going to be getting happy at the littlelest things in life. Before, your excitement was based on high doses of drugs, but now, your "happiness tollerance" is going down", and so it might feel a little sad in life at first, but soon your happines tolelrance will go down, and the smallest things in life will brighten you up! So really, you are actually going to get WAY more out of life very soon. I hope you have a great weekend!!


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 1:30 pm 
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Blondie29 wrote:
Didn't even put on any make up or change out of yoga pants. This is NOT like me at all.


I'm sorry, but this made me straight laugh out loud. For the first two months after quitting suboxone, I LIVED in yoga pants. I couldn't stand to wear anything else. Yoga pants, a big sweater and ugg boots, that was my uniform for many many days. Makeup? Yeah right. I was a hot mess.

Have you been taking hot baths when you start to get restless or cold at night? It helps to take a really hot bath just before you take a sleep aid. Or even in the middle of the night, if you wake up uncomfortable. Also, try sticking some headphones in your ears and play some of your favorite calming music, it's like a drug at this stage. You won't believe how much it will help you. It's just about the only thing that raises your endorphins at this stage of the game.

Hang in there.. you're going through the worst of it but it will start to get better, promise.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:40 pm 
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hey blondie,
how was the beach, being out and doing something had to feel a little good right? anyways i hope you got some sleep last night, my sleep has been really weird as well but in the past week alone i have seen much progress, lol not where i want it to be, but hey some progress is better than none right, so there is definatley hope for ya there... anyways give us an update for day 12... youre doing great fo sho, fo sho
fooo shoo

watch \/

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN5wgA87UvU[/youtube]

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